i've received a couple of questions regarding the 'disappearance' of my two other books, Mixed Crystals (which i had abandoned halfway) and The New Member (the first completed book i wrote).
to clear up your misunderstandings or unsure guesses, I have indeed unpublished all the chapters of both books because of the amount of unsatisfaction they received. I was personally unhappy with the story flow too, as The New Member was the first book I've ever written and everything was just overly dramatic. so was Mixed Crystals.
so that's that - the queries about my books answered.
so what about me? where have I been? why haven't I been updating this book for the past 5 months?
I have a few reasons. number 1 being how it has received unhappiness about the story plot and details too, like my previous two books. I've taken down a few hate messages or comments, but I've left the rest to be, if there were any left. after i became inactive on here, the amount of unhappy comments i received was... a lot.
number 2. not-so-recently, I've started to stan two more groups - got7 and seventeen.
honestly, as a starlight for around 2 years, when all I cared about was VIXX and no other groups, the more popular groups like svt & got7 didn't leave a good impression on me. I felt like they were just wayyy overrated.
but yeah, all the shiz that happens as you get into a group happened to me. I started checking out got7 more and i stanned them. a few months after that, seventeen came along.
they're talented, i tell you. like vixx, they have their own charms. they're hardworking. they're funny. seventeen even write and compose and choreograph all their own songs. that's not an easy feat.
some of you who were with me for a longer time would know that i've made some extremely close friends who are starlights through social media. we even met once, but there were some from overseas too. we are online best friends, really.
after i got into got7 and seventeen, some of them started questioning my loyalty to vixx, and it wasn't pleasant.
one of them started speaking horrible things about seventeen too. this kind of soured our friendship. regarding to what recently happened to bigbang's top, they also made spiteful remarks about it. it angered me severely, even though i didn't express it to them.
how does this apply to this whole situation of me not updating?
i kind of got turned off as an active starlight. i mean, starlight is a beautiful fandom. we're recognised as peaceful and respectful fans. so these shouldn't be happening, isn't it?
i became an inactive starlight, so i only silently check in on vixx once in a while. but i've become inactive in interacting with my starlight friends about vixx. we rarely talk too.
yes, some of you may call me unloyal. some of you may say i'm not committed to vixx. i've already explained - i'm still fully supportive of vixx. i still cheer them on, i still stream their mvs, i still purchase their albums. i still love them with all my heart - i really do.
but it doesn't mean i can't support other singers at the same time, although they are obviously rivals in the kpop industry.
i've lost motivation to continue writing this book, because of the hate & also bc of my situation as a starlight.
i plan to delete my whole account, really. make it disappear from the surface of wattpad.
i'm currently on tumblr as a writing blog. to be very honest, my experience there is much more pleasant than it was here. here, i've read more hate comments than supportive ones. maybe not in quantity, but the hate comments i've seen on here affected me a lot in writing.
i've made few close, dear readers in wattpad. to all of those people - you know who you are - i love you & thank you. you meant so much to me.
on tumblr, unlike the 'hated side' here, it's happy. bubbly. rainbows. i actually talk to my readers more, i interact with them more. it's more carefree there. i don't get pushed for "next chapter updates", i don't get pushed for "better content".
i'm sorry for not being up to standards in my book(s). i'm sorry for disappointing you guys.
so you guys can probably already see where this is heading, right?
i'm sorry.