am i annoying yet lol
"Mia!" I heard my mom yell from across the house. I grudgingly got up and went towards to where she was. She was in the kitchen making tacos for dinner. It's not really the dinner you would probably have since Christmas was a week away, but we love tacos.
"Mmmm, tacos. I'm starving." I moaned while getting the plate to set next to the stove.
"You look and sound tired." Mom said suspiciously, "Did you sleep all day again?" She scolded while heating up the tortillas.
I laughed slightly because it was true. The break had started almost a week ago and I didn't have any plans. Jin and Sora were hanging out with each other's parents. Jungkook had been going to the gym non-stop. Jimin and Aria haven't been separated since the break started which was kind of cute. They have been going on dates which made both of them really happy.
Yoongi had tried to make plans with me since he also had no plans, but I didn't know if I should accept the offer or not. Yoongi has been trying to get close with me once again but I was just confused with everything at the moment.
My thoughts consisted of Taehyung a lot. He hasn't even contacted me whatsoever since he left. I've been constantly worrying if he was okay and if I'm ever going to see him again. He could find it better back home. He might love it so much that he'll drop everything and go back. It's understandable, but I didn't want him to. It wasn't my choice, though.
My mom cleared her throat to gain my attention which I then looked at her wide-eyed.
"Are you okay, honey? You don't seem too good. You've been out of it lately. Do you want to talk?" Mom offered while making my tacos.
I sighed. I didn't want to tell my mom since I felt I would be a burden. I know she'll listen and give me advice but still. My mom has been my rock ever since I was born and especially ever since my dad left. We will always have this bond that is indescribable so I kind of wanted to have her just think that her daughter is fine. But she knows me like the back of her hand.
"Is it about that boy? What was his name?"
"Taehyung," I breathed while smiling sadly. I haven't heard from him since he left and I was starting to worry. I thought he would at least tell me he arrived safely or that he may even miss me. Is it even okay for me to wish such a thing?
"How is he?" She smiled while setting my dinner on the table.
"He left." I blurted while feeling my throat close up a little.
"L-left? What do you mean?" My mom said shocked, thinking that he was gone forever. For some reason, I believe he's going to leave forever. It made sense, honestly. He missed his home and family so why not move back in with his beloved family?
"He said he was going to visit his home." I said blandly, going back to the memory of him being cold but then being soft before he actually left. The way he kissed me with so much passion and desperation made me feel like it was goodbye. Is it goodbye, Taehyung?
"Oh, well it is Christmas break." Mom smiled while sitting down in her seat.
"Yeah but...it's a long story but he said he needs to fix things there back at home. I just-" I said while tearing up at the fact of him never coming back.
I would never see Taehyung laugh again.
I would never hear him tell his lame jokes I secretly loved so much.
Most importantly, I would never be able to witness Taehyung be fully happy with his life and himself.
(an : is actually abt to cry bc flashback to when they facetimed i just why holy fk)
I would miss him so fucking much and I let him go. Why is everything so complicated? I miss Taehyung so much but I can't shake the feeling of everything that has happened between us. Being the other woman was not fun. I didn't want to be Taehyungs other woman, I wanted to be his. I want to be his only. Is that too much to ask for?
What if he doesn't want that? What if he only liked the fact that he wasn't able to have me? Maybe I was just a game to him.
"Mia." Mom brought me out of my thoughts as she looked at me with a face of concern. I didn't realize that I was crying until now. I felt all the hurt, frustration, and the confusion all at once and it was overwhelming.
I always dreamt of having a boyfriend who always made me smile and would never hurt me. I thought Yoongi would be the one but he broke my heart. He broke me even though I didn't give him a reason to. Taehyung was the guy who patched me up while I wasn't searching for help. He came to my aid just in time and I was shocked. I never thought I was going to fall for a guy like Taehyung. Fall. Fuck, I fell so hard. I never admitted to myself but I fell for Kim Taehyung. That's why everything hurt 10 times more than it should have.
All the frustration, arguing, lying, and deceiving was unbearable to handle; but the loving, caring looks and passionate kisses and words I was given from Taehyung made it all worth it. I just don't know if I was able to handle dealing with it back and forth.
"I just- I don't know what to do, momma." I sobbed, "I don't think he loves me. Does he love me? Why would he? I d-" I sobbed even harder.
"Sh. Sh. There, baby. Momma's here. I got you. I got you." My mom hugged me tightly while rocking me back and forth, slightly calming me down.
"If he doesn't love my Mia, then he doesn't deserve any of your attention and love, baby. You're like a piece of gold and he struck it. I'm sure he knows it too, baby." I felt my moms lips kiss my forehead and I instantly hugged her tighter, hoping that this bond will never break.
-
In Daegu, Taehyung was honestly having a hard time taking everything in. He didn't expect his family to look at him the way they did.
They were crying...happy tears.
*when he arrived*
"Hi, momma", Taehyung mumbled as he tried to smile brightly towards his mom. He hoped that everything will be okay and that he'll be able to spend a great amount of time with everyone at home.
"I..Is that really you, Taehyung?" His mom mumbled as she stayed wide-eyed to her now blonde son who looked extremely handsome and well. Taehyung could tell his mom was about to cry since she was swallowing harshly and had tears pooling around her lids, begging to be released.
"Who is it, sweeti-" His dad came by her but went silent once his eyes landed on his very own son who he hadn't seen in almost two years. Taehyung then widened his own eyes since his dad seemed pissed off and started rambling on.
"D-Dad, I-I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have shown up. I just wanted to see you. I just mis-" Taehyung was then interrupted by his dad engulfing him in his huge arms for a hug. Taehyung was shocked to say the least and didn't know why he felt the need to start crying on his dad's shoulder.
Taehyung was sobbing once his mom got to hug him next, calling him her baby and that she's the happiest mom ever at that moment. His parent were slightly crying as well, but not as much as Taehyung was.
"I-I'm so sorry for everything, ma. I l-" He pulled back to look at her right in the face with red rimmed eyes and tears still wet on his cheeks, "I love you so much. I know I never tell you but oh my god, momma. I love you. I love you too, dad. I miss you guys. I-" His mom pulled him in once more while his dad hugged both of them and patted Taehyung on his back, soothingly.
His sibilings then came to the doorway and instantly knew who Taehyung was since he was their brother and because their parents mention him a lot. Taehyung was more than happy to see his sibilings and picked both of them up even though they were only a little heavy.
"I missed my family so much" Taehyung mumbled as everyone hugged each other.
-
"How have you been, darling?" his mom asked as she washed a dish she used to cook her famous spaghetti in.
"I-I've been doing better. I'm not the guy who was with you before I moved , thats for sure." He laughed as his parents did too.
"How are you over there, by the way? Are you good on groceries and rent? If you need anything and we'll try our best to chip in more." His dad inquired as Taehyung inhaled sharply. He actually wanted to speak to them about that.
"Actually, I want to tell you guys something." He breathed.
"Is everything okay? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just- I feel bad for always taking stuff away from you. I've already done enough taking and so now I want to provide for myself. I want to start paying for my own rent and groceries. I-I know you mean well but you guys need that money...if I go back to Seoul, I can get a job there and start paying for my own rent and groceries." His parents were mildly confused, to say the least.
"I-No, Taehyung. I don't want you to struggle."
"I won't! I can even probably get a roommate or live somewhere else with someone. I'll be okay. I promise. Just..please let me do this for you." He begged as his parents agreed grudgingly.
"So, baby, do you have a girlfriend?" His mom cooed, changing the subject as she ruffled his hair, which she said she loved but loved his natural hair that his mom and dad gave him more.
Taehyung laughed, and instantly thought of Mia, "No, not really, ma. Well, not yet anyway." He smiled cheekily as he ate his mom's famous spaghetti that he loved.
"Tell us about this girl, son." His dad smiled as he was eating the spaghetti as well. His sibilings were already done with their dinner so they were in their room playing.
"Yeah, is she pretty? Will she be my daughter in law?"
"Woah, woah. I dont know about that." He giggled as he actually thought of marrying Mia and having kids with her in the future. It honestly didn't sound to bad. "But who knows, maybe."
"How'd you meet? And why aren't you guys together?" His mom pushed as she felt rather interested on the topic since her son has never talked about girls with her.
"She's in my art class, but she talked to me one day randomly at lunch. I thought it was kind of random of her but it was okay because I found her interesting. She's so feisty and so strong. I can tell she's been through a lot...I mean I've been part of some of the reasons, unfortunately." He mentioned while looking down, not wanting to see his mothers scolding face but also kind of wants to since he hasn't been scolded by his parents in so long.
"Kim Taehyung! And how did you get involved into this girls problems?" She seethed while crossing her arms, giving her husband a look that he hasn't seen in a while.
Taehyung inhaled and told his parents everything. He told them from the very moment Mia asked him what grade he was in all the way to where he left her. He didn't even leave out how he cheated on his girlfriend with Mia because he wanted their full opinion. He knows he can ask his friends on the subject, but having your own parents opinions meant more to him than anything.
Once he was done, he felt like a weight being lifted since he admitted to his wrongdoings out loud. He was scared how his parents were going to react so he kept his head low for a couple seconds before looking up slowly.
He then felt his mom slap the back of his head with a magazine and he winced while she kept swatting at him lightly, "How dare you hurt that young lady! She seems like she likes you so much and you went and hurt her like that!" His mom then stopped lightly swatting him and stood there with her arms crossed, "Are you sure you have feelings for her? You're not just playing her?" His mom narrowed her eyes at him, knowing that back then he most likely played girls in the past and just hopes its different this time.
"N-no! I mean, yes I like her! I never want to hurt her, ma." Taehyung whined, voice small, picturing how hurt Mia probably is.
"It's a little too late for that. I mean, she gets out of a long relationship and you basically repair her and then break her once again. If you like her as much as you say you do then why not fix it?" His mom breathed, placing her hand on Taehyung's shoulder.
"Because I don't deserve her. I hurt her. I can't even forgive myself. I didn't even think how hard things could be for her because all I thought about was myself. All I do is take and take. This is why I'm here. I'm here to fix my previous mistakes. I just need to stop messing up all the time." Taehyung groaned, putting his head in his hands as his mom rubbed soothing circles on his back with her soft, delicate hands. Taehyung was slowly cherishing the feeling of his mom comforting him. He doesn't know why he ever took his parents for granted but that's all going to change.
"Taehyung, you can't decide what Mia deserves. I understand you hurt her, but everyone and I mean everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is inevitable, no matter how hard you try to be perfect. You're going to keep falling in your life but the most important part is if you're going to get back up and try again. Seeing as you're here to fix your mistakes here, shows you're just as strong, son. And we love you so much and I can tell you can't believe that either. You need to learn to forgive yourself because we already forgive you. I can tell you really like this Mia girl and I'm pretty sure she knows how good-hearted and caring you are. Besides, you're a Kim. No one can resists the Kim's." His dad winked while making himself and his son laugh. Taehyungs mom just gasped and started swatting at her husband lightly while stating that its not the time to joke around.
Taehyung felt his heart swelling at the sight of how happy his dad looked while his mom was scolding but smiling slightly towards him. They looked so in love in such a way that Taehyung never knew he dreamed of.
He doesn't want a sickly, obsessive love where one can't stand the other anymore. He solely wants to love his significant other as if they put the moon and stars in the sky, creating the beauty within the dark, making him feel less alone in the night-sky. He wants to be able to love his lover's differences and flaws, making sure that his lover will be reassured how much he loves them no matter. He wants to be able to show off his significant other to the world but also protect them from it at the same time. He wants to watch his lover shine right in front of his eyes as they grow to be the beautiful person they will become. And as he thinks all of all this warm, compassionate love that he dreams; he thinks of Mia.
Taehyung felt stunned with himself as he stopped the thought as fast it came. He couldn't think that far ahead, could he?
He can't stop thinking about Mia and her kind heart. He loves the way she smiles. He loves the way she is always vibrant in his eyes. Always so beautiful. He loves the fact that she will put everyone first before her own needs. All he wants to do is just cherish her and make her smile constantly. Is he capable of doing such a thing? Does she even want him anymore? Did she fall for him as much as he fell for her?
Woah.
I'm in love with Mia Ahn. In. Love.
Taehyung never thought he was capable of loving, but here he was; loving the girl who is waiting for him back home.
all in favor for people who think taehyung should go to mia and love her endlessly say I!! lmao omg hi hi hi <3 its been so long i know, i know i suck :( honestly, I had writers block and it sucked so bad but I don't have it anymore obviously lol
anyways, i missed you so much, i literally talk abt you guys to my friends abt how cute all of u are and ya
OHHH self promo time ; so i have new book I published, its called known and its a taekook book! its abt how tae and jungkook are both popular but in diff ways and everyone knows them but they don't know each other! if you love taekook then go give it a read, it would mean so much honestly! but if you dont want to and want to support fucked up only then thats okie too!!
ily all so much! thank u all for your support and dont forget to comment and vote <3 alrighty i'm out peace mwah!