do you think he would be proud of me?'
i know he would baby girl.'
•••
The tears continued to flow, in endless streams as my mind tried to process the fact that I was free, Sydney was free, we as a family were free.
I use the word family loosely though, just because I'm still not sure where me and Luke stand, we're yet to talk about the kiss and if I'm being completely honest I'm terrified of rejection.
I mean, I've been in love with the guy since we were twelve years old, I've loved him everyday since the day he left and I've spent everyday since he's been back here, back home still being head over heels in love with him.
There's just some things that never change, some feelings that never ever change.
It was 3am and I sat on the couch, watching the news reports play the story that had been my entire life, on repeat over and over. The fact that he had been arrested and was heading for 15 years behind bars having not settled in yet.
Finally Luke and the boys had been able to go home, to see their families and friends after four years and spend some much needed and overdue quality time with them.
A key sounded in the door, most probably Jack having forgotten something, so I quickly wiped my eyes and turned round, only to be met with Luke, his smile disappeared once he saw my streaky cheeks, "Baby what's wrong?" He rushed, sitting beside me and taking my face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away the tears.
"Nothing, I just can't quite believe it's over, that the source of all these problems and all the pain is gone," I sniffled, "So much lost time and ugh, I'm just emotionally drained but, it's all over now, I'm free, Sydney is free, you and the guys are free"
"It's hard to comprehend I know," he bit his lip, trying to piece his next sentence together carefully, I could see the gears turning in his head, "Can, we talk about something?"
"You mean the kiss?" I bit my lip, glancing down as I felt my cheeks flame bright red.
He nodded, smiling as he watched me, "Sorry, I kinda just attacked you. I just- I mean I just, I couldn't help myself and I've wanted to do it ever since I came home to you, holy shit I've thought of nothing else ever since I left four years ago," Luke was rambling now, words flowing out of his mouth that his mind couldn't keep up with but each and every one of them was nothing short of the complete and utter truth, "I mean I'm trying to tell you something I tried to tell you four years ago and it's still not coming out right- fuck,"
Luke crouched down in front of me, using his fingers he tilted my chin up so I was looking him directly in the eye, "Four years ago, I left after one of the most amazing nights of my entire life with my best friend, I left and flew a thousand miles away and before I left I told her I loved her, she didn't know it but I truly meant it, sure I loved her as a best friend but I was also so in fucking love with her it hurt, that night meant more to me than she ever knew,"
"Luke I-"
"No don't say anything, let me finish," I chuckled, "I was too scared to tell her before, I was too scared to tell her then and I'm kinda scared now because I'm terrified of rejection and I'm scared I'm not good enough for her and I'm absolutely fucking shitting myself now I'm telling her because I'm still so fucking in love with her and now I have a beautiful little girl with her and I can't-"
I wasn't gonna sit and listen to him ramble and put himself down anymore, I wasn't gonna let him think for a single second that he would be rejected and I didn't want to hear him waffle about his doubts that were flowing around in his head; so I kissed him.
Grabbing the back of his neck, I closed the gap between us, him instantly kissing me back as he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, "Luke?" I whispered, breaking our kiss for a second.
"Hmmm?" He mumbled against my lips, the vibration causing goosebumps all over my skin.
"I love you too,"