What's that?" Salman asked turning to look at me from the hockey game he was watching on the TV.
" White chocolate chip." I said absentmidedly as I put the said item on the countre. I had taken out their bag from the refrigerator.
"You're not putting those in the ice cream, right?"
" That's precisely why I took them out." I said as I mixed the warm milk, sugar and cocoa powder in a bowl.
" Make with the cashews." Salman said from the sofa. He was wearing trousers and he didn't have a shirt on.
" No." I said as I poured the mixture in a pot and put it on the stove.
"Yes."
" I said no. "
" Why?" Salman asked throwing the remote aside carelessly and keeping a hand at the back of his neck.
"Because she doesn't like it that way!" I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
" Did she tell you that?" Salman asked and I could see a hint of amusement in his eyes
"Well no, but I know. I'm her mother." I said in a Duh tone and Salman chuckled.
"I feel really bad to break it to you Neha but Fatima happens to like cashews better than any other nut." Salman said smirking. "Just like me." He winked at that.
"She does not." I stated arguing pointlessly. Turning around once again I removed the mixture from the heat.
"She does." Salman said smuggly.
" She does not Salman! What's wrong with you? Last time I checked she skipped the whole dinner just because there were nuts in the chicken! " I was almost yelling as I tried to remind him of the incident.
"Firstly, those were not cashews in the chicken but pine nuts. And secondly, why exactly are you shouting?" I stopped abruptly and hunched my shoulders, defeated.
What was wrong with me?
I stayed quiet.
"Neha?" I closed my eyes.
Oh, I happen to know what was wrong with me. I was freaking out, alright.
" Fine, whatever. I'll just put these stupid roasted cashews in the base custard, are you and your daughter satisfied now?" I muttered as I flipped the whole bag of cashews in the hot mixture.
O.O
"Neha?" Salman tried again but I refused to turn around. I didn't feel like explaining myself right now. And he sure as hell had already smelled something fishy.
Slowly I turned around and looked at him.
"What's wrong?" Salman asked and I groaned.
In my mind.
" Nothing. I just don't like when my food goes to waste." I said shrugging and Salman gave me a look that said he meant no playing around.
But I didn't wanted to say it. I wanted him to understand. To know everything that went in my head even before I had the chance to open my mouth.
And here he was, my husband, as clueless as ever.
Salman got up and brought his well tuned body towards me.
" Don't tell me it's about last month again!" Salman almost groaned as he kept a hand on my waist.
Last month? What about it?
Oh. Of course. Last month when Fahad had dragged Salman out to men's-night-out and they both got wasted there.
I still could't get over the fact that Salman had actually gone there again. After all the pain he went through to skip alchohol he gave everything away in a night.
Although he was no more an addict but still, it was alchohol. And it was Haram. So when I found out about it, I actually didn't let him come near me or Fatima for a whole week. At the end of that Salman literally begged for my forgiveness and after cursing Fahad a plenty he promised he wouldn't hang out with him anymore. Alone. If they wanted to they'd have to tag along Ali.
And knowing Ali, I knew Salman would be in safe hands.
"It's about these stupid cashews. And the fact that I hate them so bad.And your obsession with them isn't helping." I said as I brushed a hand on the chain Salman was wearing. It was a plain silver chain that actually looked hot on him.
" Nice try. Only problem being , I'm not convinced." Salman said as he took hold of my hand and brought it down on my side.
I wanted to cry.
" I don't know what you're talking about." I said as I tried to turn away from him. I needed some time to think every thing through.
Salman brought a finger and lifted my face just a bit so I'd be looking at him. His gaze was intense. And intimidating.
" You're freaking me out Ne." Salman said searching my face for something that would give me away. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing Salman. Really." I said as I moved my hands around his bare skin and hugged him. His response was immediate. He hugged me back and pulled away after a minute.
" Ms. Are you keeping secrets from me?" Salman asked after pecking me on the forehead.
" No sir. I ain't keeping any secrets." I said giggling at his fake accent. Salman still didn't look convince but he decided to drop it for the moment.
And I was grateful for that.
Not.
I wanted him to prob further. To find out what was bugging me. And then after doing that take me in his arm and tell me how everything would be fine. That how, he'll always be with me. No matter what.
Oh Allah... I need help. Badly.
"So, I guess the dessert tonight will be cashews with some ice cream on the top. Did I get that right? " Salman teased me as he looked at the base custard for the ice cream.
" Whatever. Just go and watch the game. Because when I get my hands on the remote, we're so not watching sports." I said rolling my eyes and turning around once again to work on my ice cream. Or shall I say, the mess I had created.
"Can't wait." Salman said as he pecked me on my right cheek and strolled back on the sofa.
Sighing, I got to work. I seived the mixture that effectively seperated the so infamous cashews from the rest of the base. I then added half of them back in the mixture. Now that the mixture was a bit cold, I added in the yolks and beat them. I then put the custard once again on the stove and stood beside it, making sure it doesn't spill over.
After few minutes of stirring,
the custard was ready. I set it aside in the refrigerator to cool down and then mean while, I whipped some cream.
Once the cream was fluffy I mixed the custard in the cream and set it aside in the fridge to freeze. And I was all done.
Sighing I walked to the lounge where Salman was still watching hockey. When he saw me coming he put the volume down and patted on the place beside him. I dutifully sat there.
"Soap opera or some movie?" Salman asked getting hold of the remote.
My insides melted at his thoughtfulness.
" Hockey." I said as I kissed him on his lips. Salman smiled and shook his head.
"No really. You can watch it." Salman said flicking on the TV channels to find some interesting TV station for me. I was least bothered about TV right now. My insides were churning. Badly.
I didn't protest and stared blankly at the TV. After a moment I heard Salman sigh and then the TV went off. Furrowing I tilted my face to look at Salman who was already staring at me.
" Neha, did I do something wrong?" Salman asked a cute frown on his face.
Yes. You didn't read my mind like you were supposed to. I mean I thought you were some astrologer who could do face reading, but man! Am I disappointed?
I wanted to smack myself. Hard. I wasn't being fair on his part.
I sighed.
" I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet." I said barely above a whisper. Salman looked at me for a moment as if expecting me to continue but when I didn't, he did.
"I'm sorry but I swear I have no idea what you're talking about. Hey wait... " Salman halted suddenly as if realizing something.
Finally.
"You...you're pregnant." Salman said taking my hand in his.
I mentally face palmed myself.
"What? No! Salman... I'm not pregnant! " I was beyond frustrated now.
" Oh. Damn, then what is it Neha?" Salman demanded rubbing the back of his neck.
" It's... about the wedding. " I said and searched his face for any hint of realization.
None. Nada. Zero.
" Okay?" Salman said raising his eyebrows just slightly.
I wanted to shake my head at him in disapproval. What happened to my shrewd husband.
"Ali's wedding." I said hoping now he'll pick up.
" Don't tell me you have grown likings for him and you want to ditch me for him."
Oh man. When did he get so dense.
" You're unbelievable. " I finally shook my head at him.
" Why are you talking in episodes. This is not an opera. I'm dying here with curiosity and a possible case of jealousy. You might wanna just say it and end the torture." Salman huffed.
I frowned. No. It wasn't possible. Salman wasn't that dense. I've told him enough. And if he still isn't picking up where I'm going with this, chances are... he doesn't know.
"You do know where the wedding is,right?"
I already knew the answer.
Salman slowly shook his head.
Thought so.
And then it him. His eyebrows rose just a notch and he opened his mouth to say something but then shut it.
" It's possibly not back home? " Salman said after a minute.
Bingo.
"And we have a winner." I murmured.
" Shoot."
---------######---------
" You're joking right?" Ali said giving out a roar of laughter before putting a spoonfull of the icecream in his mouth and closing his eyes for a second. Salman looked at him over his ice cream and then at me and then back at his own ice cream.
When Ali opened his eyes he was smiling.
"This.Is.Heavenly." Ali mused but when he saw my expression, his smile faded.
"Wait... you're not? " Ali asked quickly looking between me and Salman.
" I have to admit, this tastes good even without beer in it." Fahad mused as he took spoon after spoon of the ice cream.
I flinched and gave one withering look at Salman. Salman sighed and hit Fahad on the back of his neck.
"What?" Fahad scowled but then he realized there was a kid in the room and he removed that scary scowl from his face and smiled a toothy smile at Fatima.
" Hell of an ice cream I tell you." Fahad said to Fatima and she giggled. They both whispered something to each other and after that, they actually high-fived.
I shook my head in a response to Ali.
" Neha. You can't be serious! This is my wedding for Allah's sake. You can't just not come. It's not a birthday bash or something like that. This is once in a life time thing. I'm not even taking you serious on this one." Ali said but it was visible that he was worried.
" Ali Bhai... I seriously... you know how it is." I said and closed my eyes shut. The room fell silent. I could feel their eyes on me. Even Fatima's little eyes.
"Momma... wats wron?" Fatima asked and I immediately plastered a smile on my face.
" Nothing honey. Just a lill sick. " I said putting the best smile up for her.
" Dadda mama sick." Fatima said turning to look at Salman. Salman sighed and scooped Fatima off of her seat. She giggled in the way and Salman cuddled her in his arms.
" Yes Toffee, mama's a bit sick. But she'll be good in no time. " Salman said pecking Fatima on her cheeks.
"Dadda I wan mor iche cream."
"How come? I thought you didn't like cashews?" Salman asked kidding around. He gave me a strange look and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
Fatima actually gasped.
" Dadddddaaa! I llove cashuess!!" Fatima screeched in Salman's ear.
"Uhh... my bad. " Salman faked disappointment before cuddling her once more.
Ali wanted to extend this conversation but Salman decided to pipe in.
" Not now. Not here." He said.
Before I knew it, Ali and Fahad were already leaving. Ali told me that there was no way he was taking me serious on this one and I actually felt the need to cry so that he'd understand that what an actual nightmare his wedding was turning into for me.
At night, once Salman and I had made Fatima ready for bed; gave her a quick shower, made her brush her teeth and braided her hair and lulled her into sleep, it was already 11:00 pm.
I was not in a mood to take shower so I just made a bee line for the bed. Salman followed suite. We lay there for a while not saying anything. The silence was simply and blissfully comfortable. Salman was stroking my hair and I was making some patterns on his chest, absent mindedly.
" I think you should go." Salman said after a very long time. I didn't say anything.
"It's too much for me Salman." I said my voice cracking at the end. Salman noticed that.
" It's now or never Neha. You can not run away your whole life. " Salman said tilting his face to face me properly. I closed my eyes and some tears fell down.
Salman shifted on the bed and pulled me towards his chest.
" You have me Neha. You'll always have me by your side. You have Fatima. You don't have anything to lose. Talk to them. Once. If things do not turns out good, we can always call the shots and take off.
" I can't face them Salman. I don't know how to face them. They probably loathe me. And that's the only thing that's keeping me back. Unrequited love. I don't think I'll be able to live with that." I said as I sobbed on Salman's chest.
Salman pulled me away and kissed on my dried lips. He then looked at me with so much tenderness that I melted right there and then.
"I love you. If that helps." Salman said as he brushed the stray tears from my cheeks.
I gave a small smile and this time it was me who initiated the kiss. I kissed Salman full on the lips and forgot about all of my worries for a while.
- -----######------
At about 2:00 am in the morning, I found myself in the kitchen making some tea for myself.
" I'm just plain scared. Oh goodness Sana, I feel like I might as well die. This will prove to be really very difficult. It's worst than a nightmare. I've lost my sleep. I'm so sorry I called you at this hour. Oh Allah, I think I'm blabbering."
"It's normal for you to act this way. No surprise there. And I was awake for Tahajjad anyways, so yeah, you disturbed nothing." Sana said on the other side.
I made strong black tea amd then added some warm milk in it along with instant coffee powder and a spoon full of cocoa powder. I was definietely going nuts.
Thank goodness I didn't feel like putting a bag of green tea in it too.
"Oh." I said as I took a sip from my mug.
It tasted... simply put, good. It felt like hot chocolate with just a hint of coffee and black tea.
" Anyways, I gather Salman is sleeping? "
" Yeah, he is. I'll wake him up for Thajjad though. He's most groggy at that time. I swear sometimes I think he resists hard to not punch me when I wake him up. " I said trying to ease the buttetflies in my stomach on the prospect of seeing my parents.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Why am I not dead yet?
Sana laughed.
We talked here and there and just before we hung up on the phone she brought me-visiting-my-parents topic back.
"Neha?"
"Yeah."
" I think it's time you man up and approach your parents. Not because they need your apologies but because they might need you. Think about it Neha, they're old, and they have literally no one. No family except each other. The only family they ever had was you. I don't have a kid Neha, but if I ever had a kid who eloped me, I swear I wouldn't think twice to take them back in my arms. Even if it was just for once."
By the time Sana finished I had tears in my eyes. She was right. My parents needed me. Every parent does. When they age, what else do they have other than their kids; their real asset. Although I was sure my parents would never admit it, they might even kick me out, but deep in their hearts they'd be more than relieved to see me back.
I just hope they have it in them to forgive me. Once.
Sana excused herself after sometime for Tahajjad and we hung up.
Sighing I pushed the dark brown liquid away and came to my senses. This tea/coffee/chocolate combo was anything but good.
I got up and silently tiptoed to our bedroom and found Salman still sleeping, snoring here and there. I sat beside him for a while and just looked at his peaceful face.
And in that moment it hit me. I did not regret falling in love with him. Not even close. I couldn't imagine myself anywhere but with him. Only... only if I had approached this whole falling in love with him more sensibly. Only if I had approached Mom about it and told her how I felt.
But was I really the one to blame? I was just a teenager. With no typical mother-daughter bond whatsoever. I did what I thought was right.
I brushed a hand over Salman's face and he stirred in his sleep.
I kissed him full on the lips and after a moment, he fluttered his eyes open.
" Hey beautiful." Salman said groggily before pulling me to him.
" Time for Tahajjad." I chimed in in the best way possible to brighten him up.
He groaned.
" I need some sleep Neha. Go away." Salman complained and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
All he ever did was sleep and watch TV. And work out.
There wasn't much business for him in Jalajit. He'd go once a week for the feasibilty of restaurant around the country and that was about it.
I wasn't complaining though. It only meant one thing, I had more Salman to myself.
" I'm not going away. Wake up now." I said as I brushed a hand in his hair.
" Then don't. Sleep with me. " Salman murmured in the crook of my neck and I giggled.
" Get off me and just get up already." I said as I tried to pull away.
Salman huffed loudly and let me go.
"You know, waking up early in the morning for Fajr is one thing, but waking up in the middle of the night for Tahajjad is pure torture. " Salman said gruffly burrying his face in the pillow.
I gasped.
He did not just say that.
I glared at his burried face in the pillow. After a momemt Salman looked up looking kind of sheepish.
" It came out wrong. What I actually meant was it's pure bliss. Waking up at 2:00 in the morning is the best feeling ever. And knowing that you'll have to get up again just three hours later for Fajr brings nothing else but ecstasy. " Salman was blabbering.
I shook my head.
" Whatever, go to sleep. But then don't come crying to me when Allah holds you accountable and makes you rott in hell." I said getting up from the bed.
Salman chuckled.
Before I could hop out of the bed Salman held me by my hand and pulled me back. I landed on the bed with a thud and Salman was hovering over me in less than a moment.
" I didn't mean it." Salman whispered after a moment, staring right back in my eyes.
" I know." Salman paused for a second before he said,
"You didn't sleep?"
I shook my head.
Salman tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
" We don't have to go Ne. I'll talk to Ali about it. He'll be good." Salman said as he pecked me on my cheek before laying beside me. I turned around so that I was facing him.
" I think I have to do this. You were right Salman. I can't run away my whole life from them. And besides they need me. They might kick me out of the house when they see me but it doesn't change the fact, I'm their daughter and their only child. They have no one in this whole world except me. I can't just leave them alone forever. They have to know the reasons. They have to know my side of the story. They deserve an explanation. " I was whispering and Salman was looking at me intently.
" I'm with you. Always will be." Salman said before pulling me into his chest.
"Ameen." I murmured.
"Ameen." Salman repeated and I smiled in the hug.
Salman and I made ablution before performing Tahajjad. I had taught Salman how to pray and by now he was actually getting good at the arabic accent. Even the verses were flawless and not even a single mistake.
I actually felt good when he read them to me. Who am I kidding? I loved it when Salman recited the Quranic verses aloud that I had taught him. It was soothing and cute at the same time.
Although Salman performed Salah and fasted in Ramadan, I knew that his faith was not as strong as mine. But I was grateful even now to Allah because it might not seem a lot to other people, but I knew it was a drastic change that Salman had brought within himself. And that too only for me.
When we were done praying we checked on Fatima; that included Salman kissing Fatima and me ushering him to stay quiet.
Fatima's room was right next to ours. It didn't have the terrace that we had in our room but it did have a huge window that over looked the lilly's field in front.
We tiptoed back to our bedroom and hoped in the bed and under the covers.
Salman cuddled me to sleep. He wouldn't let me stir in the bed or move; he held me in one place until I finally gave up and slept.
1 month later-
"Cocoa or choco? " Fahad asked Salman from the window of the most luxurious pickup I had ever witnessed and ever had the oppurtuniy to travel in.
We were heading to Marina Fall. My home town. The town I had eloped almost five years back. The town where Ali's fiance happened to be.
I was having a panic attack. And although I had everyone around me who I loved, I couldn't help but fidget. Salman was driving and I was sitting beside him on the passenger's seat.
At the back Sana , Tanya, Aqil Bhai , Fahad and Ali were chatting loudly.
Bilal Bhai had stayed back for the restaurant and had promised Ali that he'd show up on the day of the wedding; that was the day after tomorrow.
Sana and Tanya were both seated together and I could hear them talking about the dresses they had brought with them for Ali's wedding and how Tanya wanted to explore Marina Fall and shop there endlessly.
Ali and Aqil Bhai were occupying the seat next to each other and they too were apparently deep in some conversation that converted from sports to politics in one minute.
Fahad had been laying at the back seat all along the ride with Fatima on his lap. Fahad loved goofing around with Fatima and making her giggle.
Although I was not a very big fan of him, considering what he had done two months ago, it was still heart warming to see both of them together.
The perfect Uncle and Nephew's moment.
Now Salman had pulled up at some Gas refilling station and everyone had hoped out of the van for a walk. I didn't feel like getting out so I just stayed back. Salman stayed with me.
" What's the difference?" Salman asked Fahad visibly bored.
" You don't know the difference between choco and cocoa?" Fahad anything but shrieked. My daughter giggled in his arms.
" Fa, Dada doesn't know the diffrnce." Fatima exclaimed still smiling. I'm sure even she didn't know it but she loved giving Fahad company.
She was the only one who could call Fahad Fa and get away with it. If anything I think Fahad actually loved it when she called him that. It kind of made him feel specail as Fatima had not nicknamed anyone other than him, yet.
"Leave it to your Dada to not know such a simple thing." Fahad shook his head in mock disapproval. A giggle followed.
Salman rolled his eyes. " Come here princess. You don't wanna hang out with Uncle Fa for too long." Salman said as he extended his arms towards Fatima. Fatima all of a sudden looked thrilled to be in Salman's arms as she started stirring in Fahad's arms.
"Fa,I wann go!" She shrieked.
" Hey! I thought we were having fun together. " Fahad genuinely looked hurt.
Fatima suddenly didn't give a damn about him anymore.
" Fa I wannna go!" She yelled this time. Fahad frowned at her but handed her to Salman nevertheless with a grunt. Salman chuckled and placed Fatima on his lap.
" Whatever. I'm asking you last time. Choco or Cocoa you two?" Fahad asked frustrated at Salman for taking Fatima from him.
" I don't know what kind of exactly the hell it is. Just get us two tea." Salman said tilting his head to look at Fahad.
"You're so boring." Fahad exclaimed before he walked away.
"Dadda ar you hapie for Ali ?" Fatima asked as she placed a hand on Salman's chest.
" Yes of course love. I'm very happy indeed." Salman said as he brushed a hand in her short hair.
She turned to me.
" Mamma you hapie too?" She asked me with wide brown eyes.
" Of course!" I said ruffling her hair. She smiled and threw her face on Salman's chest.
Salman hugged her and looked at me.
"Are you okay?" He asked squeezing my hand gently. I sighed.
I was anything but okay.
I shook my head.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Salman said as he made patterns on the back of my hand.
" I just want this to be over soon." I said as I looked out of the window.
" I want my old Neha back. And for that I want this to be over soon too." Salman said and then he kissed me. I closed my eyes and smiled.
This was all I needed to stay calm.
"Two teas for the two most boring people on earth!" Chimed in Fahad.
Oh yeah. And tea.
"Fa, what's that in your hands?" Fatima sat up and looked up at Fahad. It was my que to giggle. Fahad had brought two stuffed bears, both white, and a bag full of some chocolates.
I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to seduce Fatima with those awfully cute bears and those chocolates so that she'd come to him.
I wanted to laugh at his tantics to keep Fatima with him.
"Oh, let's just say I bought some stuff for my best lill' friend." Fahad said waving the bear in the air.
Salman took a sip of the tea as he stared at the scene in front of him in amusement.
"Which friend?" She asked innocently.
" Oh you know the beautiful girl I always carry around. "
Fatima blinked twice before looking at Salman and me. And then she burst out crying.
For a moment I couldn't believe what I was hearing but a look on Salman's astonished face confirmed it that I was indeed hearing it.
"Fa is cheating on me!" Fatima cried as she hit Salman's chest. Two big fat tears rolled down her soft skin and I smiled.
She really was my daughter.
I took her from Salman and wiped her tears away.
"Maaam!! Fa is cheating on me!"
"He isn't Toffee! He was talking about you," I soothed her as I kissed her wet eyes.
She stopped the wailing and tilted her head to look at Fahad.
"Fa, you are talkng abot me? " She asked with huge brown eyes.
" Of course not! I was talking about a beautiful girl, not a whining baby." Fahad shrugged. I hissed and Salman hit Fahad on his chest.
And I knew what was to come. A shrilling scream followed by frantic sobs.
" Fahad, you better take that back or else I'll ban Fatima from seeing you for the rest of her life. Now!" I warned Fahad and he gave it a thought.
" Fa is baaad!! I'm not whiney!!" Fatima was getting furious and it was getting very difficult to hold her still.
Thankfully, my threat and Salman's punch helped and Fahad took Fatima in her arms and told her he was kidding.
Ali, Aqil Bhai, Tanya and Sana came back after sometime and we were off again.
And my insides started churning, all over again.
Salman gave me worried looks throughout the way and I tried smiling whenever I found Salman looking at me. I couldn't help that it didn't reach my eyes though.
-----
Hey my lovely readers... I know it's a loooong time now and i know i said that chapter 39 was the last chapter but oh well... I realised the story had too many loopholes and all of them could not be adjusted with an Epilogue... So here are two more chapters before an epilogue comes.... Enjoy and always Happy Reading...!