"Maya, what are you doing?" I hear Harvey's voice as he opens my bedroom door without knocking.
Ugh.
"What do you want?" I manage to grudge out from my comfortable sheets, trying desperately to hide myself longer in my pillows.
Serious though. Waking up to Harvey's voice is more than annoying already and it puts me in an immediate bad mood.
"Maya. You're gonna be late."
"What?" I ask, sitting up from my bed suddenly, my eyes straining to open. "What time is it?"
"7:07." He replies his voice low with a weird undertone to it which I don't exactly understand or interpret into anything. It just seems... angry.
"7:00? You worried me for nothing." I say crashing back into the comfort of my sheets and building once again my refuge of happiness.
"Maya! Up! Now!"
Who the hell does he think? School starts at 8:30.
"Maya!" He commands and he turns on the lights.
"Ugh! No! Get out!" I yell in utter frustration.
"No, you're having breakfast with all of us."
"Really? I thought mother didn't want me to get fat. She'd be happy to hear I missed breakfast." I reply, my voice dark and sinister from my foul mood early in the morning, thanks none other but the pretend dad.
"Stop talking nonsense." He orders once again, his voice stern and angry.
Ugh.
It's like I keep seeing a new side to him everyday. He started off as the annoyingly sweet and accepting guy and turned to become this tyrant who thinks he can boss me around when he's known me for about little over a week.
Completely ridiculous.
"Take your shower. Oh and get rid of that white hair of yours, it'll only heighten the scandals tis family has."
Now, fully awake, I turn to fully glare at him.
What say does he have over my hair. Like what the hell? Fuck off.
"I can do what I want with my hair and besides I've already discussed this with my mother so please mind your own business." I remark snakily.
He pisses me off.
"Into the shower." He orders for about the 10th time this morning, pointing a bony finger towards my bathroom.
I'm not his dog.
I decide not to piss him off so early in the morning but trust me, it's awfully tempting, especially after the annoying wake up call he put me through.
I hurry downstairs after my shower and sit at the table looking around, unamused by this artificialness. It's like we're playing at family, and I hate it. Mira deposits our plates of egg on toast in front of us and we dig in, mother carefully eyeing my every move.
You know what,
I don't care anymore.
I finish the whole bread, standing up with half of it still hanging out my mouth before I swing my bag over my shoulder and head out the door without another word.
I walk to school and it feels surprisingly refreshing; the morning air is a little brisk, just the way I like it, but an awful reminder that winter is coming and I honestly do not want to do anything with it.
I'd rather it be fall all year round. At least here and then in other places it can be permanently warm or whatever, but here, just here, I'd rather it never get cold and never get hot, just stay the perfect temperature.
Obviously life can't go on that way. You can't just freeze a moment in time hoping it'll forever stay like that. Life moves on, and whether you want it to or not is not in your reach, in your control. It just happens, and you deal with the circumstances.
Winter reminds me of death, of sadness, of grief. I used to love the snow, running around, kicking it, throwing it at my dad in an attempt to lighten up our days. All my best memories are surrounded by family and Christmas and the cold. I used to love winter.
Then his death came and I simply came to loathe it. The coldness biting into my fingers, the redness of my face as I came out, the fake whiteness and purity of snow covered streets, until they are brutally marched on and their true colors start to reveal; a dark grey taken from the silt of everyone's shoes. That perfect purity is then gone until the next day where it appears as good as new once again. Perhaps my similarity with snow is another thing that I hate about it. I look content happy in the morning, at school, trying to brighten up people's day, trying to make them smile with joy and glee, awaiting the faithful day of Christmas, and then I get back home only to become a boring, depressed dark grey, slowly becoming black as the day ends.
I'm imperfect, just as snow, just as winter. And I hate it.
I am distracted from my thoughts as I feel a light tap on rain on my nose and I look up to see the grey cloud slowly looming over me.
I hurry to school, picking up my pace a little before arriving at my locker seeing Gigi giving me the side eye and demanding as to why I arrived at school later than usual. Then I see Cale's blue eyes and they appear somehow lighter than the first day I saw them. They appear warmer, kinder, more gentle.
I smile his way and he smiles back.
Immediately, I feel the typical butterflies flutter in my stomach.
I'm so stereotypical.
I never believed in those web of fiction I call romance. I always felt as though it were illogical, unimportant, a distraction, unnecessary. That belief was only reinforced after all the troubles I went through with identity and the fake love my father gave my mother in front of a public and the hate my mother bears for me. It all made sense. Of course they would act that way, after all, love isn't real.
Then Cale came along.
My curiosity for his coldness towards women only heightened after I realized how cold he felt inside. How lonely he felt although he never admitted it. And that was a trigger. I needed to know more, find more, learn more. I didn't even realize I liked him until that kiss. It took my surprise. I was surprised by his actions but mostly surprised by own feelings that I had suppressed and ignored. After all, it didn't make sense, it wasn't logical.
Yet, here I am, staring at the boy who has allowed me to believe in love again.
I give him my most heartwarming, real smile yet. A gift and a message of gratitude, love and thankfulness.
Cale, I love you.
---
Hey guys!
This chapter is a little different to my other ones, much more description and feelings that Maya has kept to herself mostly because she never truly believed them.
I also felt that the revelation of Cale (which happens later on) was too abrupt and seemed rather far fetched so in the next chapter I'm going to develop more as to why he made his decision.
Don't forget to vote and comment if you want! Really helps me as a writer!