Edited
I'm engulfed in the sounds that surround me; the rhythmic tapping of Darren's fingers on the steering wheel.
The ride to school is pretty quiet as usual, apart from the songs playing in the background. I don't often enjoy making smalltalk with Darren as it often results to speaking of football over and over again and I'm pretty much over that conversational topic so I keep my mouth shut.
He parks the car at the school's parking and then we both get out. A bunch of girls immediately hurry to Darren with the fakest faces I've seen. They're the girls that'll do anything for sex and they're known for that. What they do with their bodies is their concern but when they find themselves in my house is when I have a problem with them.
I ignore the girls and their rather lame attempts at seducing my brother and make my way into the hallways.
"Maya!" I hear and I turn around to see Gigi. Her full name is Gianna but everyone calls her Gigi. She approaches me, her long curly brown hair is down today and her amber eyes sparkle more than usual. Even her outfit is more carefully fitted to impress, showcasing curves in just the right areas.
I close my locker and offer her a small smile.
School has become my safe haven. My sanctuary. A home away from home. I feel safe, relaxed and tests are just a way to assure my position as the owner of my Dad's law firm. I was always a "daddy's little girl" and in my heart I always will be. If he can look down upon me and say 'I'm proud' then it would have been all worth it.
Darren, however, never showed any interest for the company ever since he was little. It was clear to him that sports was his thing, and dad's firm was not. He can be what he wants to be but I'll become a lawyer and defend the voices of the unheard and be as honorable as dad once was.
Because of dad's job we are rich. We really are, and that's something I have come to be ashamed of and loathe with a pure internal hate. People who didn't even know me recognized me as 'the lucky girl who gets everything she wants'. In some ways that may be true but in a thousand others, it is clear that it is not.
I receive the burning hate of my mother and I've lost my closest family member; my father. If that makes me lucky then why do I not feel that way? I get materialized things that hold no sentimental affection. I want my mom back. I know deep down that this longing for the past will result in nothing but pain, yet I still hold onto that flicker of hope, desperately wishing that she'd come back, even though it's evident that she's already too far gone.
I've never thought of myself as snobbish. I may be privileged in ways that others aren't but I hate it. I hate the looks I get as my brother's expensive car rolls into the parking, or the sneers other girls give me as they see my richly-made clothing nor the over-the-top sympathy I am sometimes given by eager teachers. Appearing professional in front of everyone is important for my mother. I would rather stay in the crowd, unspottable, undetected. But what I want never matters.
"Hey Gigi. What's up? You seem happier than usual."
"Hmmm..?" She hums giving me that interrogatory face she has when she's excited to tell me something.
"Come on. What happened?" I indulge, my interest getting more and more peeked.
"Connor asked me out on a date!"
I smile as my bestfriend gushes with excitement.
"That's wonderful! How long has it been since you liked him?"
"3 months!"
"Wow that's the longest yet!" I tease.
"Yea, yea, give me a break. It's just that I can never seem to like a guy for a long time cuz he always finds a way to show he's a douche."
"Sure, sure. Don't be surprised the guys call you a tease then!"
"Whatever, it just makes me more valuable!"
"Sure." I mock her again and she fake pouts before we both start giggling stupidly.
We get to class and sit down waiting the last few minutes before the bell rings and discussing random topics together.
"Maya, when will you like someone?"
I scoff, her question becoming more and more absurd as it replays in my head.
"Like who? All the guys are more interested in their dicks than my life. Either way, I need to focus on getting to Harvard and potentially there I could meet someone who can actually use their brain."
"So you're looking for smartness?"
"Something like that."
"Did you know that someone beat you in the last maths test?" Gigi declares completely randomly that I have to turn to look at her.
I remain speechless for a second as Gigi's words make their way to the active site of my brain.
"Who?" I ask, disbelievingly.
"Cale."
I stare at her blankly.
"Who?" Now that's a name I've never heard. Is that a girl or a boy?
"Have you never heard of Cale?? He's like a pretty popular, super gorgeous football player that hasn't dated for like 2 years and never plays around with any girls."
Well, that's a first.
"Actually he avoids all girls. Maybe he's gay. Not that it's bad or anything! I completely respect that! It's just a shame that someone who looks like a greek god has no interest in girls. He's rejected every date, every hookup, every confession. He's convinced of being away from girls. Maybe he'll let loose in college." She says babbling on about him.
"Never heard of him."
"There he is!" She says as a loud whisper as she eyes him.
He has dark brown hair, sharp features, very tall, and mostly piercing blue eyes. His body looks pretty sculpted from what we can see of his shirt and jeans. He's the type of guy that's hard to pass unnoticed, so you'd wonder how I didn't notice him but then again I always focus on my studying and my work as the class rep and honestly I don't care what he looks like. I just know that I need to study more if I want to stay at the top of the class.
The first thing I do notice is the dichotomy between Gigi and Cale's eyes; hers are eyes bright and lively while his are dark. It's as if he's hiding something behind those ocean blue eyes of his. It reminds me of the ocean. It's full of wonderful but also frightening things.
"Something wrong?" She asks seeming slightly bewildered by me, turning her head to an angle, making her curls go a little in her face.
I smile at her.
"It's nothing." I tell her confidently, yet my mind still strays to that look he had on his face as he looked out the window; perplexed and distant. He almost looked sad.
~
I stay late after school because I don't want to walk home and Darren finishes practice later today. But mostly, I don't want to go home. I'd rather extend my stay at school if it means that I avoid the monster waiting for me at home, surrounded by her tower of empty glass bottles. It disgusts me. Especially after dad's death you'd think she'd learn something for herself but it seems she wants to make her time here as quick as possible in order to join him.
I gather my books and place them in my bag aware that it's almost 5pm. Normally Darren gets out of the shower 15 minutes later. 20 minutes at most. I wait outside the door leading to the changing rooms. I sit down, plug in my earphones and start listening to music. I yawn and feel myself fall in a daze.
A beautiful, beautiful pizza. I want to eat it...
Suddenly I feel a strong hand on my shoulder shaking me gently.
"Hey... Hey... It's not a good idea to sleep out here, especially in front of the boy's locker." I hear a pressing yet calm voice say to me. A voice which is unfamiliar and confuses me, and it's not Darren's.
~~~
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