"Caught in the fire, say oh. We're about to explode."
- Atlas, Coldplay
Steve was right. This building is hideous. Why are buildings these days so tall? People from my time would never dream of something so tall. And the shape makes absolutely no sense.
I've still not been filled in to the why we're here. Unless the owner can bring Bucky back, I don't see any reason to be here.
I'm still weary about trusting Steve, but what choice do I have? I know my flash memories must be true, but I don't give blind trust. Even if everything I'm seeing is true, we haven't been together in over seventy years. I'm definitely not the same person I was. I've been broken down and dehumanized.
Most of me is covered, my hood up and sunglasses cover my face, but I keep my head down and walk in between Steve and Sam.
The doors slide open for us and Steve walks right in, Sam and I trailing behind him. The interior is very expensive looking and up to date.
Steve walks to the receptionist's desk and takes off his sunglasses. "Let Stark know we're here."
"Right away Captain Rogers." She says worriedly before getting up walking somewhere. Stark! I rip off my sunglasses and hood.
Once the woman is gone, I grab Steve's collar and slam him into the nearest wall, pressing my forearm arm against his neck just enough to hold him down.
"You brought me to a Stark!" I snarl at him.
"Woah, take it easy." Sam tries to calm me down but I ignore him waiting for Steve to answer me.
"He's my friend, he won't hurt you I swear." He says pleadingly. "He may know how to get the rest of your memories back."
I don't care if he can unbrainwash me, he's a Stark....
What if he knows it was me? The only remaining Stark was Howard's son, and if he knows he'll kill me instantly. Steve has no idea what he's done.
"Mr. Stark will see you now." The woman's voice comes from the doorway, a little concerned looking from our position. I let go of Steve and he puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Trust me." He pleads. I could very well be walking to my death if I trust him. If I don't at least try to get my memories back then I'm on my own, I have no hope of ever finding Bucky.
I take a deep breath and grab Steve's hand, intertwining our fingers. We follow the receptionist to the elevator and we walk inside. I stand in the back corner, but keep Steve's hand in mine.
By the time the elevator stops we're nearly at the top of the tower, maybe a floor or two more. The doors slide apart and I slowly walk out, staying slightly behind Steve, not daring to let go of his hand.
"Tony?" Steve's voice echos through the huge room.
"Captain." Tony steps forward. My heart almost skips a beat when I see his face.
"He looks like his father." I comment, my eyes still scanning his facial features. His eyes go to me and he gives me a questioning look.
"And you are?" He asks me. He doesn't know it was me...
"I uh... don't know." I say awkwardly, looking at Steve and back to him. Tony looks extremely puzzled.
"This is Alexandra," Steve speaks for me. That's my name, Alexandra? "She's my sister."
Tony nods understandingly but he is still pretty clueless as to what is happening.
"Does she know that?" Tony says jokingly. Typical Stark...
"She doesn't remember. Hydra brainwashed her." Steve explained quickly. "I was hoping you would know how to help."
Tony tilts his head to the side and looks back at me. "How'd they do it?"
"Electric shocks." I respond. He thinks for a minute and scratches the back of his neck.
"If there is a way, and that's a big if. There is someone here who can help. Come with me." He motions us to a set of stairs that lead into a medical looking floor.
"Dr. Helen Cho," He motions to an asian woman in a white lab coat. "World renowned geneticist slash genius."
"Mr. Stark." She greets him. "How may I help you?"
"What do you know about reverse brainwashing?" He asks so casually.
"It's difficult... but not impossible. What was the process?" She questions. Tony gestures to me and I try and think as far back as I can.
"Electric shocks, beatings, um..." I feel a huge headache coming on and I squeeze my eyes tight. "Uh, mental taunting."
"What were the shocks like?" She inquires.
"There were metal plates... they covered parts of my face... lasted maybe... twenty minutes." My head is pounding so hard and my fingers are twitching now.
"If we did the same thing, without as much pressure, only a few shocks to her abdomen chest and arms. It may trigger a mental breakthrough. Possibly bringing back the faded memories." She theorizes.
"No, no way." Steve refuses shaking his head. "We're not putting her through that, not again."
"Is there any other way?" I ask hopefully. She just shakes her head.
"No. I'm sorry." She deadpans.
I hang my head in despair. I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through that again, but what choice do I have? I stroke the small ring around my neck, the sun from the huge windows making it shine.
"I'll do it." I tell her.
"Alex! No-" Steve tries to argue but I cut him off.
"I'm not asking for your permission, I need to do this." I let my hand close around the ring.
Once I was done arguing with Steve, Dr. Cho had everything ready. I had stripped off my jacket and shirt so I was in a bra and pants.
She strapped me down to a table, restraining my wrists and ankles. I had small stickers placed all over me, two on my chest, one on each of my shoulders and arms, then there more on my abdomen.
"This won't be particularly pleasant." Dr. Cho warns me, attaching wires to the stickers.
Steve is standing right next to me while Tony and Sam are waiting behind some more control panels.
"Is this about wanting your memories, or finding Bucky." Steve asks me holding one of my hands that is strapped down.
I did want them so it would help me find him, but do I actually want them? There is a part of me that's curious about my old life, but if I do get my memories back, what is if I become like my old self? Would I have the determination I do now to find him, or would my memories of Steve hold me back?
"Both." I tell him. I squeeze his hand for reassurance.
"We're ready to begin." Dr. Cho interrupts us. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, preparing myself for the pain that's to come.
My hand tightens around Steve's and I give her a nod. "Okay, I'm ready." I take another deep breath and try to keep my heartbeat under control. She places a rubber mouth guard in front of my mouth, just in case so I won't break my teeth, I open my mouth and let her place it between my teeth, and close my eyes again.
I hear a few switch flipping and nothing happens, finally there's a short cranking sound and my body jerks forward. I pulled on the retrains until I felt my shoulder pop from it's socket.
Every inch of my skin crawled, burned and had pain throughout. It felt as though the blood in my body was boiling and my veins were about to burst through my body.
I let out a muffled scream as the electricity burned through my body. The pain was nearly unbearable. It seemed like an eternity before images started to flash around my mind.
Flashes of Bucky Steve and I on a train. Bucky and I hid behind Steve's shield and we shot at something. A huge blast of energy shot at us knocking the shield from our hands and sending flying from the car.
Somehow my hand latched onto Bucky's and we hanging from the car, the only thing keeping us from dying was my one hand on a railing the was coming loose.
"Alex!" Bucky screamed. My head jerked down and he had both his hands locked around mine.
"Hold on!" I tell him, desperately trying to hold onto the rail.
"You have to let me go!" He screams back. "We'll both die if you don't!"
"No!" I cry. He looks at me with sad eyes. "Don't you dare!"
"I love you." He says before releasing his hands.
"NO!" I screamed in terror. I was snapped from my memories but I couldn't seem to stop screaming, I no longer felt the scorch of electricity but I kept screaming.
"Alex! Alex!" I opened my eyes and Steve was above me trying to calm me down, I was no longer bound by the restraints and everyone was staring at me.
I felt the tears start running down my cheeks and I sat up bringing my knees to my chest curling my body into a ball. I sat there for the longest time crying and rocking myself, Steve rubbing my back the entire time trying to comfort me.
The memory in itself was painful to watch, with the electricity and the pounding in my head I feel like I might explode.
I finally managed to stop crying after a while and I slowly lifted my head from underneath my arms. Everyone but Steve had left the room and were waiting on the opposite side of the glass wall.
"What did you see?" Steve asks me softly, placing a hand on my arm. I sniffle and wipe my tear covered cheeks.
"That day on the train... He let go." I gasped. My muscles tense up and I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate and Steve grabs my hands moving so he's right in front of my face.
"Just breathe, okay? Deep breaths, you can do it. Just breath." He takes deep breaths showing me and I try and mimic his rhythm. I grip his hands tighter a focus on the rise and fall of his chest.
After a minute my heartbeat has returned to normal and my breathing is under control. I glance down at my body, the small bruises starting to form where I was shocked.
"He should've died from that fall." I stated. "Why didn't he die?"
"He was captured by Hydra before that," He sighs "They experimented on him, whatever they did must've helped him survive the fall."
"I remember," I exhale. "We snuck out of the base, Hydra, I remember breaking in, and finding him."
"What else?" He persuaded me to go on. I thought really hard but it only made my head hurt.
"Not much," I say still feeling a bit uneasy. "Tell me about this." I demand showing him the chain around my neck.
"Bucky gave it to you, the night before he left. He asked you to marry him when he got back, I'd never seen you more happy in our entire lives." He smiled.
"I can't believe I forgot the person I was supposed to marry. How can that even be possible?" I shake my head and comb my finger through my hair.
"I don't know, but you did love him, you were everything to him." He says sympathetically.
"I need to go again, I need to remember more." I say getting up.
"You don't have to-"
"I know... I want to. Not just for him or even for you, if I want a chance to move on and be normal then I need to. How can I figure out who I am now if I don't have a clue who I was? I need to remember everything, no matter how much pain it causes me."
He's completely speechless, knowing that this is the only way to help me. "I have to know."
I put a hand on his shoulder and look in his eyes. "I need to remember my brother."
AN: So a couple things, I'm super pumped that she's finally remembering who she was and trying to piece her life back together. For the next chapter I'll be doing a three month time jump, about a week before Age of Ultron occurs.
By then, she'll have been shocking herself for the past three months and have almost all her memories back. I want her to slowly become more like her old self. Being the only person she remembers from her old life, she's gonna being extremely trusting of Steve and go along with most of the things he tells her.
Obviously there's gonna be a little tension between her and Tony. He doesn't know it was her and Bucky that murdered his parents, but she's gonna be feeling extremely guilty, and her lying about it to him is gonna play a huge part in their friendship in Civil War.
I'm gonna try and update as soon as possible cause I can't wait for Age of Ultron, I'm not gonna say anything but I have some interesting stuff planned.
QOTD - What do you think her reaction will be to Wanda and Pietro?