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"Before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for."

               - Angel with a Shotgun, The Cab

I didn't know what to expect walking into this party. I wasn't in the partying mood, but I sort of owed it to Steve. I didn't wanna leave on a bad note with him. He's one of the only people I can remember caring about.

I was gonna get drunk and feel sorry for myself, then I remembered I can't get drunk. Biggest let down ever. I had to try anyway. I sat at the bar as far away from everyone else, drinking away the whole bar.

Steve and Sam were laughing and playing pool, Natasha and Bruce were flirting a few seats down from me. It was a good party, but I can't let myself have fun. I'd just feel too guilty.

Bucky is out there somewhere hiding, trying to survive. While I sit in the richest building in New York at a party.

I finished what I think was my fourteenth drink of whiskey, I still felt nothing. Not even slightly buzzed.

I give up on trying to get drunk and try to find Steve. I find him with Thor and some old war veterans.

"I gotta have some of that." One of the older men motions to a bottle of something that Thor has.

"No, no, no. See this..." He says pouring a small amount of liquid into a glass. "This was aged for a thousand years in the barrels built from the wreck of Grunhel's feet. It was not meant for mortal men."

He hands the glass to Steve who is eyeballing it. I take it from his hands and lift it to my nose, it smells absolutely horrid.

"Neither was Omaha beach, Blondie. Stop trying to scare us, come on." The old man says.

Thor looks surprised but pours him a glass anyway. I lift the glass to my lips and quickly down the liquid. It doesn't taste as bad as it smells and has quite a kick to it. I feel slightly dizzy and a little buzzed now.

"It works." I sigh with a small smile handing the glass back to Steve. Finally, something that can get me drunk.

I actually feel a lot better now. The party has died down and most of the people have left. All that's left are the rest of the Avengers. I can hear them all laughing and talking across the room while I sit at the bar.

I found some salt packets that I'm now playing with. Just drawing pictures in the salt. The only one thing I could seem to find that Steve and I have in common was we could both draw. I wonder if we got it from one of our parents...

I found myself sculpting an image of Bucky in the salt. Back when we were happy, his jaw leading up to his perfect smile, not leaving out a single detail, his dark thick hair and hopeful eyes.

I hear footsteps behind me and I quickly blow the salt away and turn around in my chair.

"Hey, can I sit?" Steve motions to the seat next to me.

"Sure." I say, turning around and fiddling around with what's left of the salt. "I'm sorry." I blurt out.

"For what?" He asks confused.

"Killing Baron, I risked your chances of finding the scepter. I know how much it meant to you and your team to find it. I shouldn't have put my want for revenge in front of you, so yeah, I'm sorry." I sigh. I look at him his face is both surprised and happy.

I'm tempted to read his thoughts but I don't want to ruin anything else by picking through his head.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a small smile. "It's okay." We turn our heads, everyone is laughing at Clint in his failed attempt to lift Thor's hammer.

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