Secret Mind ✓

By sadlyish

20.9K 998 156

"She's right! She's right! I don't cut in the right spot." My hold tightens on my wrist. The red blood oozes... More

o n e
t w o
Diary entry 3 - Losing a loved one.
Diary entry 4 - Maintaining invisibility.
Diary entry 5 - Four years later.
Diary entry 6 - "Language!"
Diary entry 7 - Just an apple for you today young lady.
Diary entry 8 - "Sit down before you make a scene."
Diary entry 9 - "They're called phones!"
Diary entry 10 - "Is it that time of the month?"
Diary entry 11 - compared to my puny little bump people call muscle.
Diary entry 12 - "You look a little...constipated."
Diary entry 13 - "I'm not living on the moon."
Diary entry 14 - "Drake, I will castrate your balls of you don't stop now."
Diary 15 - "The delinquent that scares all our babysitters away."
Diary entry 16 - My Blossom
Diary entry 17 - "You douche! I said to start on the floor."
Diary entry 18 - She's a broken girl.
Diary entry 19 - "I trust you."
Diary entry 20 - "Best sleep of my life."
Diary entry 21 - I don't know what I'll do if she's gone.
Diary entry 22 - "Pwince charming..."
Diary entry 23 - Flatlined.
Diary entry 24 - Crashing walls.
Diary entry 25 - Little things.
Diary entry 26 - My nightmare.
Diary entry 27 - We didn't do anything!
Diary entry 29 - Boys!
Diary entry 30 - Graduation
Diary entry 31 - The proposal.
Diary 32 - Epilogue.

Diary entry 28 - "Do you love him?"

348 21 1
By sadlyish

A/N
Cover at the top made by Jovie from BlueDevilSquad. ^Thank you so so much! Picture of what Drake and Evangeline are wearing below.

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Today is the dance! And I'm going with Drake!

It's a Saturday and I've been restless all night, the anticipation expanding in me every growing second.

Cassy's coming over at four pm to get ready. I decided to distract myself I should go to the skatepark. I still don't have my board but the park is normally isolated because it's really old so I thought I could just relax there.

I slip on a sweatshirt, black leggings and my white converse.

"Mum! I'm going to the skatepark." I call, jogging down the stairs.

"Have you eaten?" She asks.

"No." I look down shamefully. It's really hard looking at food and actually eating it and I'm taking some time to readjust to actually eating food.

"Have a sandwich." My mum says, pulling out some tomato, lettuce and cheese.

I nod and sit down. She makes the sandwich. Sliced bread on the bottom, then lettuce, tomato, cheese and sliced bread. She puts the sandwich on a plate and places it in front of me. "Thank you."

"Do you like him?" My mum asks suddenly.

"Sorry, who?" I ask, almost choking on my food. I know all to well who she's talking about but I'm not really comfortable revealing my feelings. I've never been one for really opening up about stuff and the doctor says it's probably what forced me into depression. That I was keeping to many feelings locked up. Even Drake thinks that but he also knows what the other reason was.

"Do you like Drake?" She says sternly. She sits down next to me and I begin picking at my food.

"Yes. I do like Drake." I answer, my eyes never leaving my food.

"Do you love him?"

Do I love him? Loves a strong word. I have never experienced that type of love and I don't know what it is, what it feels like. Gosh dang it! I don't know what all these feelings mean!

"I-I don't know. I think I do." I stutter. "How do you tell?" She doesn't say anything, only nods, gets up and walks away.

I quickly finish my sandwich and go for a quick jog around the block then I run to the skatepark.

When I get there, I see a boy. He looks to be maybe thirteen, fourteen at the most. "Hello." I smile. He looks down. He was about to drop.

He nods in acknowledgement and drops. When he gets to the end he does a double kickflip, and land perfectly. He stops skating, stepping on the end of his board, sending it flying in the air. He walks over to me, the board tucked under his arm.

"You've got some pretty sick moves, kid." I hold out my hand for him to shake. "I'm Evangeline."

"Jake. Thanks." He shakes my hand gently.

"Why are you here?" I ask curiously.

He shakes his head. "Stuff. Do you skate?"

"Yes." He hands me his board.

"Can you show me?"

I nod and go to the skating ramp. I drop off the ramp with as much force as I can muster. I do a double kickflip and when I'm in the air I do a mctwist. I get to the other side of the ramp then do an Ollie. When I'm in the air everything goes down in slow motion. I've never succeeded in doing the impossible front foot. The board does one full rotation, wrapped around my front foot. I think I'm about to fall but save it just in time. The board lands safely on the ground and I land safely on the board. I kick the board up, and it lands perfectly in my arms.

I walk slowly to Jake, out of breath and a palpitating heart. "That was...awesome!" He beams. "How did you do that? I've never seen anyone do that. Ever. Well only the pros but that was sick." He jumps in his spot excitedly, and he keeps on rambling. He stops talking and sighs. "I rambled, didn't I?"

I chuckle and nod. "You're not the only one. I have had a lot of practice. When did you start skating?"

"I've been skating for two years now." He say, walking over to the bench.

"And how old are you?"

"Fourteen."

"Then you started at the same age as me. I started when I was twelve and I'm seventeen now. Trust me, keep at the rate you're going and you'll be better then me now." I smile at him, sitting down and resting on the seat.

"You did all that without any protection." He comments. That thought surprisingly didn't slip my mind one bit. "I'm here because I like this girl it's ridiculous and I needed to clear my head."

I smile. Ahh. Young love. "What's her name?"

"Violet Lotus."

The name scans my brain. "Violet means flower and the lotus flower means rebirth. A new beginning." I smile at the irony.

"What?" He asks puzzled.

"Sorry. Just thinking about her name. If you could give her a nickname, what would it be?" The reason I know what her name means is because in seventh grade, I had to research the lotus flower and I found out some of its history. The name violet? I just really have nothing to do in free time.

"Sunshine." He answers almost instantly.

"Why is that?"

"Because she's like the little ray of sunshine that peeps through your curtains in the morning. And it's almost addictive." He sighs and runs a hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I know I'm to young to know what love is but I definitely know that I like this girl."

I exhale. "Does she know that you like her?"

"No. She's really shy around me and I'll get three words out of her before she 'bids me farewell' and I won't talk to her for a whole week. I feel like she's avoiding me." And now the irony has kicked in real hard.

That would be the same with me when I would be around Drake. I would always run for the hills. I was either too shy to talk or I didn't want to talk. The thing is, I think I liked him then but I was in denial.

I nod. Jake looks down at his hands. "Maybe she likes you. Ever considered that?" I bump his shoulder with mine.

He chuckles with no humour. "Debatable."

"Maybe in a few years time, you can have a real conversation with her. Trust me, I was like Violet. Always shy and I think I liked someone and I would run, legit run, from him. I avoided him cause I liked him." I advise.

"You really think she likes me?" He asks in pure shock.

"Possibly. But hey, don't give up on her. 'Cause if you do, you're not worth it. Remember this: girls like guys that are in for the chase. Don't give up on her. She'll come 'round." I smile and he nods, his lips curving at the ends.

We say goodbye and he skates away.

I check my phone. "3:58! Oh shoot!" I get up on my feet and run as fast as I can to my house.

When I get there I see Cassy's car already pulled up. "Shat!"

I knock on the door, long and hard, not bothering to use the key. Cassy opens the door in pure fury. "Where the hell have you been?!" Her face is red in anger, a side-effect of putting her in a bad mood. "You are," she looks at her phone that is held in her hand tightly, prolly focusing all of her anger in the death grip so she doesn't beat me to a pulp. "Forty-five minutes late. The dance starts at seven and you are forty-five minutes late!" She grinds her teeth.

"I'm sorry. I was helping someone. Guess I lost track of time." I shrug and push past her, skipping up the steps to my room.

"Not good enough!" She fumes, stomping up the steps.

"It was for a good cause." I say, concluding the discussion.

"Good cause my ass." She mutters under her breath. "Hurry up. The dresses are laying on your bed, I've picked out shoes, jewelry and makeup. You have ballet flats and,"

"Light makeup." I finish the sentence for her. I have a quick shower and wrap a towel around my body and my hair.

"Sit!" She orders and I oblige. She begins with a pinky-white base coat on my eyelids. She then uses a bronze colour where the bone is near my eyebrow as a thick outline. She then gets a coffee brown and halves what's left of the white and blends it in together on the edge. She gets some liquid eyeliner and underlines my waterline and does a small wing at the end of my eye. She puts on some midnight black mascara to lengthen my already long eyelashes. She puts some blush on the area where my cheekbones are and puts on some light pink matt lipstick on my lips.

"Voila." She exclaims and hands me a small hand mirror.

I gasp. "It's...beautiful." I turn to look at her. "Thank you!"

She nods. "Yeah yeah, I'm awesome. Now put your dress on and quickly do your hair while I do mine." She shoves me into the bathroom with my dress.

I chuckle and get on with my hair. I blow dry it cause it's still damp from my shower then curl it into tight curls. Once I've done that I run my fingers through my hair to loosen the curls into more natural waves. I nod, satisfied with the results and slip on my dress.

I look in the wall mirror and find that the dress hugs all my curves, showing off my frame. It reaches mid-thigh. I put my flats on and smile at myself in the mirror. For the first time, I'm looking at myself from a different perspective. And I like who I'm looking at.

I walk outside of the bathroom. Cassy has already done her makeup and she has put on the dress and silver pumps, complimenting her outfit with silver, white and black eyeshadow and red matt lipstick. Her hair is brushed down, waiting for me to braid it.

"You look hot!" She jumps at the same time I say, "Brian will swoon!" We both laugh as I near her.

"Time to do your hair." I part her hair 3/4 of the way at the front of her head and begin braiding it around her head, adding small sections of hair to the three strands.

Once I've made the braid all the way back to the top of her head, I tie the end up with a small rubber elastic and wrap the remaining plait on top of the braid and bobby-pin it. "Finito!" I exclaim. She snatched the hand mirror off the bed and her reaction is similar to how I reacted when I saw my makeup.

"It's stunning. Thanks." I begin pulling little wisps of hair to frame her face and smile.

I check my phone for the time. 5:47pm. "The boys will be here soon. The limo will get here at 6:15pm and we'll probably get to the school at 6:25 latest." I announce.

"Great!" She beams. "You know how in movies, dance night the doorbell rings, parents answer the door, boy walks in, girl walks down, he stares at her, mouth a gaping hole, blah blah blah?" She asks.

"Yes?" The word drags out of my mouth non-enthusiastically. I sigh and wrap my arms around my waist. "You want a dramatic entrance." I groan.

"Precisely." She smiles and nods her head.

"We aren't in a movie, though. And that's so cliché, anyways." I frown and shake my head. "We are not doing that!" I say sternly.

"Please!" She begs. "This is my one big night, yours too, and I want to feel like Cinderella." She reasons.

"And we can do that," I say annoyed. Her face lights up. "From the living room." I point to the bedroom door. Call me a bad friend but the look on her face, the way her big puppy dog eyes shrunk to the size of peas, it took every bone in my body not to laugh.

"Fine." She grumbles crossing her arms.

We walk to the living room and put on Alvin and the chipmunks - chipwrecked.

The doorbell rings at the bit when Brittany jumps in the hot water in the volcano area.

"I'll get it!" My mum calls, the excitement evident in her voice.

I switch the TV off and hook my arm with Cassy's. "Ready?"

"Ready." She nods and we skip to the door. My mum covers whoever stands at the door then she moves away when she hears our footsteps.

"And here they are." She motions to Cassy and I.

Cassy had a pretty accurate scene pictured in her head. Both boys, Brian and Drake, stood at the door, hands in pockets, with their mouths hanging wide open. Literally. I'm pretty sure I saw their tonsils.

My mum closes their mouths by pushing their chins up. "Take care of the girls, okay?" My mum says sternly, in a motherly tone.

They nod their heads and when my mums hands leave their chins, their mouths fall down again. My mum sighs and rolls her eyes. "I'm going to take a few pictures. Hustle, guys. Hustle." She pushes Cassy and I to our dates and snaps a couple pictures of us, Drake has it arm swung around my waist and mine is swung around his. Brian has his hands in his pockets, a blush brushing his cheeks as Cassy hooks her arm through his. "Bye girls. Have a fun night." My mum says, walking back upstairs.

My and Cassy make our way to the boys, both of us blushing. When we reach them I talk, "Close your mouths, don't want flies going in." I laugh nervously. Brian eyes trained on Cassy, and Drakes on me.

We unhook our arms and our dates take our arms. "You look...wow! Gorgeous, I mean, absolutely breath taking." Drake compliments.

I blush and look down, letting my hair cover my face. "Thanks." I smile nervously. "You look handsome." I did it! I actually didn't say 'you too. I mean you don't look pretty...blah blah blah'. Those books lied. Drake has a white shirt on and a black tie and suit jacket, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He has denim jeans on and his hair is messy yet looks so, so soft...

"Thanks." He looks away from me, no doubt trying to hide the blush that I saw nipping at his cheeks.

The limo arrives and we all load into the car. I. Can't. Wait!

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A/N
Hey lovelies. Random thing, I just had a sudden feeling of déjà vu. Legitimately, me on Wattpad in the car, my sister telling my other sister off for playing colour switch on my mums phone instead of ringing my Nonno. I don't even know.

Love y'all. Dance next chapter❤️

~Jess🤓

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