I was so angry and frustrated I needed a distraction; a good distraction. Harry has been teasing me for the passed two weeks and I thought it was something he wanted. I said I wasn't ready, but in that very moment I was.
"Harry please..." I begged as I squeezed my hand over his that covered my breasts.
"Aleevonne, don't make me do this." he said trying to convince me not to convince him to have sex with me.
"I'm not making you do anything, Harry." I stated moving my face closer to his, "you know you want to, I know you know you want to; so just do it." I whispered brushing my lips against his.
"Alee," he whispered but it was obvious he was distracted by my hands tracing down his chest, "I can't do this to you, no." he closed his eyes feeling my fingers gently run from his chest bone down to his torso. My bare breasts were exposed and the way he stared made it obvious that he wanted to feel them again, but because he said he wouldn't touch me, I saw him struggling to keep his hands off of me.
"Can you just stop being such a bitch and just do something to me?" his eyes shot open and without blinking he stared at me.
"If I do what you want me to do, you'll be numb for the next two weeks." was that a threat?
"Good." I immediately replied creating a small smirk on my face, "do it. I want you to." I challenged.
"No, you don't." he said seriously.
"But I do." I whispered slowly and teasingly pressing my lips against his to kiss him. I made sure to go extra slow; slow enough to make him beg me to go faster. My body was just yearning for his hands to touch me and all I wanted at that moment was to feel him on me.
"I thought you didn't want me, " I whispered against his lips as I felt himself grow against me.
"I want you," he replied quietly, "but not for the same reasons you want me." he grabbed my wrists as I went to unbuckle his jeans and pulled them away, "you're doing it out of spite; don't use me Aleevonne, don't trick me." he pulled away and grabbed my shirt from off the floor and threw it to me.
"I'm not doing it out of spite," I lied putting my shirt back on.
"Then why are you doing it?" he asked turning to face me with obvious irritation. I didn't get his hesitation. He always wanted it so him turning me down was a surprise.
"Because I want to?" I replied as if it were a question.
"No, you don't want to. You said you weren't ready than suddenly you are? What changed your mind?"
"A lot of things. I'm ready now because I trust you."
"Oh," he said crossing his arms over his chest, "you didn't trust me two weeks ago?" he asked feeling offended.
"That's not what I meant, I meant I feel like--I just want to because I know that I---" I didn't know how to finish my sentence without making it sound hurtful or wrong, "why are you even questioning me? You've been teasing me and grabbing me constantly and whispering dirty things to me since that day and now when I'm ready to give myself to you you turn me down?" I asked feeling embarrassed and slightly angered.
"Fine." he said in monotone through gritted teeth remaining in his position. Without breaking eye contact with me, he began to unbuckle his jeans and upzip it.
"What are you doing?" I asked watching him.
"You said you wanted to give yourself to me, so do it; I'm just as ready as you are." he successfully unzipped and unbottoned his jeans but didn't pull it down.
"Well?" he said looking at him as if he expected me to do something.
"Well what?" I asked feeling nervous.
"Are you going to do it or not?"
"Do what?" I felt so embarrassed.
"Suck; are you going suck or not?" he asked raising his voice in anger and impatience. He didn't blink, he just stared at me with furrowed eye brows yelling, knowing I wouldn't actually do it.
"Exactly." he said re bottoning and zipping his pants, "you're not ready. Don't try to prove me wrong when I'm right." he grabbed his t-shirt from off the floor and put it on.
I stood there feeling so ashamed of myself. The spark I felt and the need to have him was gone; all I felt was shame and digust in myself.
"Alee," he said noticing my state, "I know you aren't ready for something like this. Even behind your confidence I saw uncertainty."
"God," I sighed rubbing my forehead. From everything I was feeling; angry, embarrassed, upset, I began to tear up, "I feel so dumb." I looked down as I sat at the edge of his bed. I began to rub over my thumb nails and he made his way over to me and sat down.
"Don't, " he said grabbing my hand, "it's better if we just talk about it rather than do something you'll regret and hate me for."
"Hate you for?" I repeated in confusion, "why would I hate you?"
"Taking your virginity when you aren't even ready; that's a big deal. I could never take away something so special, especially from you." I turned my body around and hugged him tightly, probably tighter than I've ever hugged him before.
I don't know what possessed me to want to have sex but I'm grateful Harry know's what kind of person I am. If it were Liam, he wouldn't have hesitated.
"I just want to feel close to you." I whispered into his neck.
"I'm always here. Don't do something stupid especially out of spite." he pulled away and stood up, pulling me up with him.
"I tease you I know, but I could never do it knowing you're not ready."
"I'm glad you stopped me before I made that mistake." I half smiled grabbing his hands and swinging him arms back and forth.
"I wouldn't let you do that." he reassured pulling me in by my waist, "But I love your dirty mind." he winked wrapping his arms around my lower back and pecking my lips.
"How do you do that?" I asked with amazement.
"Do what?"
"Lighten up the mood so quickly?" I smile adirming him.
"I'm only like this around you." he looked into my eyes before kissing me again, "you know what lightens up my mood?" he asks.
"No, what?"
"You being with me." he smiled pulling away and picking up my bra from the floor, "can I keep this?" he asked with a childish smile when I reached to grab it.
"No." I laugh rolling my eyes and taking it from his hands.
"Are you hungry?" he asks walking to the door.
"Yeah, I'm starving." I still felt a little embarrassed. He just carried on like nothing happened but I still felt weird.
"What do you want?"
"Actually, I really want Subway." I say putting my hands on my hips.
"Subway? I can do Subway." he said nodding his head.
"Good, you go buy it and I'll lay down until you get back."
"Are you tired?"
"A little bit, yeah. I just want to lay down." I turned around and crawled on his bed.
"What kind of sandwich do you want?" he released the nob of the door and walked over next to me.
"Teriyaki." I replied pulling his covers up so I could go under.
"What do you want on it?"
"Just lettuce and banana peppers."
"Alright, love." he smiled, "anything else?"
"No." he bent down and kissed my lips and I cupped his face and kissed him back. He rested his palms on the bed as we kissed. When he pulled away laughing, I pulled his head back in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Drive safe." I said curling up under the blanket.
"Always do." he said shutting the door behind him.
I heard his phone ring as he walked down the stairs, but I was too tired to listen. His bed smelled just like him; like cologne. I still felt digusted and embarrassed with myself. How could I throw myself at him so easily? He probably thinks that what I am; easy. But he was right, I did want to have sex with him to get back at Liam; to make him angry. But Harry saw right through me and I'm thankful that he did. The more he resisted the more I wanted him, but when he unbottoned his pants the realization that I might actually have sex with him hit me and made me nervous. Even the way he looked at me intimidated me. He looked pissed and almost confident, which scared me even more. Even though I'm not ready, I know for a fact that I want my first time to be with him.
Just as I was about to fall asleep my phone rang. The loud blaring of it scared me a little but the caller scared me more. I was a bit hesitant to answer but I knew if I didn't she'd be pissed.
"Hello?" I said quietly into the phone.
"Aleevonne? Are you at Harrys?" she sounded so mad.
"Yeah." I said.
"You have got to be kidding me! You're at his house? Get home, right now!" she yelled into the phone.
"No, I don't want to come home. I'm staying here."
"Staying there? You're not staying anywhere, now get your ass home!" I sighed and sat up on the bed and rubbed my head.
"Mom, I'm staying here." I said with no emotion in my voice.
"Like hell you are! I'm coming to pick yo--" she suddenly stopped talking and I heard ruffles from the other side of the phone.
"Alee." Alan said into the phone, "I just talked to Harry, if staying there will calm you down, fine."
"What?!" I heard my mom yell on the other end of the line, "Alan, don't tell her it's okay! Tell her to come home right now!"
"Just be careful, alright? I trust both of you enough and he told me you were sleeping at hi--"
"That's it!" I heard my mom yell.
"What is she doing?" I asked feeling nervous.
"Don't worry, just make sure you're with Harry. I love you honey, you know that. We did this to try and help you."
I didn't respond and all I heard was my mom yelling in the background.
"I'll calm her down. We'll talk when you get home."
"Okay." I respond at a whisper.
"Okay." he hung up just as my mom started to yell and I threw my phone beside me and lied back down.
I expected Alan to over react and yell. It was a relief knowing he trusted Harry to allow me to sleep over at his house but I knew my mom was throwing a fit. She probably hates him now.
I wasn't able to sleep so I got out of bed and looked around his room. I didn't snoop, I just looked through some notebooks and papers there were on his desks. I came across a drawing book and looked through it. He's not only musically gifted but he's an extraordinary arist. I came across this one sketch that really caught my attention. It was a hand holding a heart but the heart was broken.
"Just picking up the broken pieces." Harry says referring to the picture while he walked into the room. I jumped and shut the book.
"It's okay, " he laughs putting the sodas and food on the table. He took his jacket off and threw it on the bed.
"Sorry." I said.
"It's fine babe, you can look through it if you want. I don't mind."
"Okay." I smiled, "we're eating in here?" I asked when he pulled the sandwiches out.
"Do you want to eat down stairs?" he asked stopping his movements.
"I don't mind it's just...we'll make a mess. I don't want crumbs anywhere."
"You sound just like my mum." he laughed shaking his head and picking up the unwrapped sandwiches, "let's go downstiars than, yeah?"
"Okay." I laughed.
"Grab the sodas." I grabbed the sodas from off the table and followed him down stairs into the living room. We placed everything on the table and we began to eat.
"What kind did you get?" I asked taking a bite into mine.
"Meatball marinara." he replied taking a huge bite.
"Is it good?"
"You've never had one?" he asked while chewing.
"No." I nodded. His eyes went wide and he stopped chewing, "what?" I laughed.
"You've seriously never tried this?"
"No." I said laughing at his reaction.
"Here, try it." he handed me the sandwich and I took a small bite.
"Bigger, " he says, "take a big bite!" I did what he said and took a huge bite and it was actually delicious.
"Wow, it's really good." I said wiping the sauce from the corner of my lips.
"Isn't it? I buy it all the time." I handed him his food back and we continued to eat.
"Where's your mom?"
"The doctors. Amilia had a checkup." he told me taking a sip of his soda.
"How is she feeling?"
"She got worse." he frowned.
"What's wrong with her?"
"Everything. She says everything hurts."
"Awe, I'm sure they'll take care of her."
"I hope so."
We finished eating and I cleaned up the dirty napkins and wrappers.
"I'll take it." he says standing up to take the trash from my hands.
"No, it's fine. I need to wash my hands anyway." I walk into the kitchen and threw everything away before washing my hands.
"Uh, Alan called me." he says as I made my way back in.
"I know." I said as he stood up and began to walk back upstairs.
"Are you coming?" he smiled. I followed him back into the room and I crossed my legs on the bed as he lied down with his hands behind his head with ankles crossed. My body was facing his side and he removed his one hand from behind his head and rested in on my lap.
"Anyway, he told me you called." I said slowly rubbing his arm.
"Really? What did he say?"
"My mom actually called. She was yelling and shit but Alan took the phone from her and said it was fine for me to stay here."
"Your mom was mad? Why?"
"I don't know. She get's mad over everything." I rolled my eyes, "was Alan the one who called you before you left?"
"Yeah, he asked me if you were with me and I told him you'll be sleeping over. He actually said it wasn't a good idea but I reassured that you were going to be safe with me."
"And he believed you?" I said raising an eyebrow.
"Is he not? He trusts me with you. He trusts me in general, he's like a dad to me." he said grabbing my wrist with the hand I was rubbing to pull me down to his chest. I rest my head on it as he played with my hair.
"How did you two become so close?" I asked as he brought the blanket up to cover us.
"He used to teach English 1 in Freshmen year. I was going through a lot of shit and I didn't want to talk to the counselor so I went to him." he explained pressing his cheek ontop of my head.
"But he never mentioned you."
"I told him not to."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I didn't want you knowing Liam and I were friends." he confessed.
"How come?"
"Well uh--I kinda, well...I always knew I would end up being with you, it was something I was really sure of so uh--I didn't want you knowing because I knew you wouldn't date his best friend."
"What do you mean?" I asked pulling away and sitting up on my elbow.
"I just didn't think you'd want me because I was his friend."
"No, not that I mean how did you know I'd end up with you?"
"Because I just knew." he smiled.
"But how?"
"You ask a lot of questions babe." he smiled turning his head to face me.
"I'm curious though, how'd you know?"
"Because I knew what kind of guy he was, and I knew exactly how you wanted to be treated and I knew I could do it." he finally told me turning on his side and resting his head on his hand as his elbow held it up.
"Oh," I said laying back down, "so, if you liked me so much how come you never talked to me?"
"I was shy." he said shrugging.
"That makes sense, yeah." I nodded smiling, "I want to ask you something."
"What?"
"You told Liam earlier that even though you weren't here you knew what he did, and when you threatened to tell me he said you were going to do the same, what was he talking about?" When he remained quiet I looked up at him and he looked down at me, almost as if he didn't want me to know.
"It really doesn't matter babe, as long as your mine my world is great." he layed ontop of me and wrapped his arms around my whole body and dug his head in my neck and I laughed.
"Oh right," he smirked looking at me, "your tickle spot!"
"Harry, really don't!" He immediately began to kiss my neck which made me laugh harder and harder and he joined.
"You have the best laugh." he complimented pulling away from my neck.
"Oh, thanks." I blushed.
"What?" I asked when he continued to stare at me.
"You're just so beautiful." he said slowly rubbing my cheek with the back of his index finger.
"Harry.." I laughed covering my face as I blushed.
"You really are beautiful," he said again kissing me, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world, you know that right?"
"I'm the luckiest girl in the world." I corrected.
"You can't date yourself, obviously I'm the lucky one."
"Can I ask you something else?" I said as he went back on his elbow.
"Hmm?"
"About what happened ealier..."
"Babe, it's fine." he reassured.
"No, I mean...when you unzipped your jeans, did you think I was going to do it?"
"I was hoping you would."
"No!" I laughed playfully slapping his chest while he laughed with me, "I'm being serious, did you really think I was going to do it?"
"No." he said recovering from his laughter.
"How'd you know?"
"Because I listen when you talk."
"What do you mean?"
"You told me you weren't ready and it was obvious you weren't lying, so why would I take advantage of you while you were upset? Makes no sense." he said turning his body to lay down on his back.
"Hmm." I hummed resting my head back on his chest.
"Did you want to?" he asked almost surprised.
"No! Of course not!" I replied slowly rubbing my hand over his stomach.
"Darn." he joked rubbing my back. I giggled and brought my hand up to his face and began to trace his lips. I looked up and continued to do it. I swear everything about him fascinates me.
"Having fun?" he smiled.
"You have the most amazing lips." I said.
"I don't." he tells me.
"But you do." I said moving my body more upward so I could kiss them, "Harry?" I said pulling away.
"Yeah?" he said as I straddled him.
"I need clothes. I didn't bring any with me when I left."
"I have something for you." I crawl off of him and he got out of bed and walked over to his drawers, "do you want shorts or pants?"
"Pants." he pulled out a pair of grey Adidas sweat pants and a black sweatshirt. I got out of bed and grabbed the materials from his hands and placed it on the bed.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.
"No, it's fine." I smile at his manners. I unzipped my jeans and took them off to put on his sweats and I could feel his eyes on me. I slid the sweats up and rolled it to make it less loose. When I grabbed the hem of my shirt, I turned to him and his stare on my body.
"You aren't ready, you aren't ready, you aren't ready..." he repeated turning around and I laughed.
"Harry, you just saw me without a bra, it's fine." I said taking my shirt off and putting his on. By the time he turned around to look I was already dressed. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest and placed his hands on my hips.
"It was better than I imagined." he whispered kissing my jaw.
"Was it?" I asked tilting my head.
"They were soft." I felt him smile against my jaw and I blushed and laughed out loud.
~~~~~~~
"Let's play a game." I said feeling bored.
"We are." He didn't take his eyes off the game as he continued to load his gun.
"You're playing a game," I corrected, "I don't play video games Harry! Let's do something fun!" he paused the game and put his control down to look at me.
"So what do you want to do?" he asked.
"I don't know, twenty questions?" I smiled.
"That's your definition of fun?"
"Yeah! It's better than this!" I said pointing to the game.
"I'll teach you how play and shoot people." he offered.
"No, it's fine. Let's play twenty questions."
"Wait, shh!" he said standing up and walking over to the window.
"What?" I whispered standing up and running over to him.
"Oh, it's just my mum." he said in relief. It was pitch black out and almost nine o'oclock. My mom kept calling and texting telling me to come home while Alan kept texting me saying it was alright.
"What took them so long?" He asked walking out of the room, "mum?" he called walking down the stairs.
"Shh!" she said while Amilia slept in her arms. Harry carefully took her and held her in his and began to walk upstairs. I followed him into her room as he gently laid her in her bed. He kissed her forehead and shut the door behind him before we both went down.
"Oh! Aleevonne, hi honey!" she greeted with a big smile. She had one of the best ones.
"Hi!" I greeted.
"Are you staying over?" she asked noticing that I was wearing his clothes.
"Yeah, that's okay, right?" Harry said.
"Of course dear. Do you kids want anything to eat or drink?"
"No, thank you." I said.
"Is she going to be alright?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, they gave her medicine they said she'll be fine."
"Okay, good."
"Alright, well I'm going to go shower. Behave now." she kissed Harry's cheek and rubbed my arm before heading up.
"Now, back to the game!" I grabbed him hand and lead him to the couch where he flopped down unwillingly and groaned.
"It'll be fun!" I happily said crossing my legs in excitement.
"Kill me now." he said looking up at the ceiling.
"Shut up and play!" I smiled.
"Fine, fine."
I had so many questions I wanted to ask him and I couldn't wait.
*thank you so much for reading! please don't forget to comment, vote. and share!*