Lea
As instructed, after throwing a 'see you later' at Marissa, I take the car keys from River, reluctantly letting go of his hand, and walk out of the service station. Approaching the car, I click the switch, making the sleek vehicle's headlights flash twice. Rounding the bonnet, I open the door the driver's door, injecting the key into the ignition and twisting it. A roar sounds from the car.
Letting go of the keys to hang from the ignition, I shut the driver's door and start towards the passenger's side. Once I'm sat comfortably in the car, with my legs crossed on the leather seat, I turn on the radio. But even though the music is filling my ears, River's voice in my head still rings louder.
I need to tell you something, in private.
This sentence repeats again, and again, and again in my head until several minutes have passed. And with every growing moment, the curiosity kills me. After fifteen minutes, and I finally see his figure walking out through the automatic sliding doors. His right hand carries a brown paper bag, while his left hides in his pocket. His strides lengthen as he walks faster when he spots his car, and me.
He is so handsome.
He reaches the car and opens the driver's door, handing me the bag that is full of our warm food and contrastingly cold drinks.
"Take these a sec," he says, as I take the food from him.
Then, I watch him pull at the sleeve of his jacket, tugging it off of his body until all that is left to cover his torso muscular shoulders is a light grey t-shirt. Flinging the jacket onto the back seats of the car, he climbs into his seat, swinging the car door shut.
"I'm starving," he states, eager to take the food from my hand.
"Me too," I smile, my eyes strictly focusing on his movements, from the way his large, veiny hands take the bag from my lap to the way he fidgets in his seat to make himself comfortable.
"I got you a tomato and pesto panini, Marissa said you'd want it." He speaks, pulling out my food and handing it to me.
"And here's your drink," He says, giving me a cold bottle of apple juice.
"Thanks," I smile, taking the bottle from his hand and placing it in the cup holder between us.
Opening up the packaging to reveal the delicious food, I start to indulge in the warm panini, as does River in his, yet I can't help but wonder what he wanted to tell me. And why it has to be in private.
Several moments pass until I hear River sigh. First, he takes a chug from his drink, and then, he's still. His unfinished food remains on his lap as one arm rests on the side of his door while the other hand clutches onto his thigh.
"When you thought I was a dickhead, you were actually quite right." He says, out of the blue.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What you talking about, River?" I, too, lower the food to my lap.
He brushes a few fingers through his disordered hair, biting at his lips as he concentrates on something in the distance of the parking lot.
"Believe it or not, Georgia was actually one of the nicest people I knew. She was one of those girls that you could tell anything to, and not have to worry about whether the rest of the year will find out in a few days. That's partly why I liked her so much back then."
"Loads of people misjudge her for how she acts now, and I hate it sometimes because it is mainly my fault as to why she's like this now." His voice is quiet, just above a whisper.
"Around two years ago, she found out what happened between Flo and I. I thought she would break up with me, but she didn't." His eyes squint as he stares blankly at the bland building before us. Slowly bringing both his hand to his lap, he twists his fingers around one another to make his palms mold together.
"She was upset, but she didn't break up with me, and I had no idea why..." He swallows, his eyes averting to the steering wheel in front of him. "Until she told me she was pregnant."
I may have just choked on my spit.
What? What?
He gives me a sideways glance; worry clouding his eyes as shock clouds mine. Angling my head away from his, I try to relax my strained open eyes, but I can't help myself.
"She was pregnant with your baby?" I manage to pronounce after several moments of complete silence.
"Yes," he answers, slowly.
I seal my lips together, reserved in my speech. My eyes drop to focus on my intertwined fingers that squeeze together every so often, something I do when I'm uncomfortable.
"That's when Georgia changed, she was scared, she was carrying a baby, and I'd just cheated on her with her best friend." River reveals, his jaw clenched slightly.
Flo from the picture in River's room pops up in my head. The girl Georgia was talking about in the bathroom when she punched me. The girl that I thought was friendly and grounded. Not the girl who would do that to her best friend. Then again, I did that to Georgia too.
A pang of guilt strikes my chest when I think about it.
"Lea, the reason I'm telling you this is because I've made some shitty mistakes and hurt some people in the process. They're mistakes that I wish I never made; I was stupid and full of myself." He says through shaky breaths, proving his nervousness. "You need to know that that River is long gone, I won't ever do that to another person again. Especially not to you, I can't hurt you like that, ever."
My head turns to face him completely. "I oddly trust you." The words topple from my mouth without permission, but at least I'm saying it how I mean it.
His eyebrows crease together. "You trust me?"
"I wouldn't be sat here right now with you if I didn't," I reply.
A small smile tugs at his lips and his gaze lowers to his lap.
"Do you trust me?" I ask.
He chuckles, shaking his head. "Do you really think that I would've told you all of this about me if I didn't? Within the first week of knowing you, I told you about Emily. It took me a year to tell the boys about her, but with you..." He trails off, his eyes still tightly fixed on mine.
"I don't know, with you, I just felt like...I could talk to you, without being judged, or getting told to man up."
I smirk, averting my eyes to the service station ahead of us. Through the windshield of this car, and through the glass walls of the service station, I can vaguely make out three figures; Marissa, Ky, and Jake.
"Did Jake tell you to man up?"
His lips part, exposing his crookedly cute grin, "how'd you guess?"
I laugh, and so does he.
However, something crucial interrupts my laughter, and the words beg my tongue to speak them.
"So, you're a father?"
His smile instantly fades, and he slowly runs his right hand through thick hair, clinging to a handful of strands on the back of his head as he contemplates what to say.
"No," He finally says.
Oh thank God.
Stop being such a bitch, Lea.
"Did Georgia abort the baby?" My voice is small, unsure of whether he wants to talk about this. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
He shakes his head, his eyes still staring off at something in the distance. "No," he sniffs, rubbing at his face for maybe the hundredth time.
I think it's a thing he does.
"She had a miscarriage." He confesses.
I shut my eyes, inhaling and processing the information.
"Fuck," I breathe, not realising that I've said it aloud.
"Yeah, fuck," he glances at me, before bringing both his hands up to his head to allow his fingers to push even more hair back.
That's maybe another thing he does.
"Sorry, I just..." I don't know how to finish the sentence. All the times I've bitched about Georgia, never did it cross my mind that maybe, just maybe, she's been through shit, like every human being.
You are a judgmental bitch, Lea; you know that?
"It's alright; you have nothing to be sorry for." He smiles at me, but the smile is one of the saddest I've ever seen.
Crap, this hurts.
"Is that...is that why you stayed with her all this time?"
He furrows his eyebrows, making the creases between his eyes more evident. "Yeah,"
"Ah, shit." I breathe again, "Did you break up with her because of me?" I whisper, quite disgusted with myself. I wouldn't blame Georgia if she wanted to kill me right now.
"No, Lea. I...this would've happened even if you weren't in the picture. I was unhappy; she wasn't the Georgia I liked at the start, she's changed." He swallows as my stomach churns. "When she miscarried, I felt so guilty about everything that I did to her. I felt guilty about falling out of love, for cheating, for everything. So, in my stupid way of dealing with it, I made her an empty promise, one I knew I wouldn't be able to keep. I promised I would stay with her, no matter what."
He takes a deep breath before continuing. "But after she had a miscarriage, Emily's accident happened, and Flo disappeared. It was a really hard time for both of us, and we started to distance ourselves from each other. Georgia began to change into someone that I grew to dislike day by day. She was unfaithful too, we were both in a toxic relationship, too bad for each other."
River drags in a deep breath, letting it go slowly.
"And then you jumped into my life."
The edges of his lips tug upward, and he averts his eyes from the steering wheel and to meet mine. They are soft, their brownness sparkling with the mid-afternoon spray of the sun.
He raises his hand towards my face, his fingers gently lifting my chin to make me face him completely.
"And I'm fucking glad, Lea." He whispers, in a low and raspy voice.
The tug of his smile weakens, causing his lips to straighten as he stares straight at me. I see his Adam's apple move up and down as he swallows nervously. Glancing from one eye to the other, he continues to search them intently, though I'm not sure for what.
"I really want to kiss you," he admits, his head edging closer.
I'm so happy I can die.
"What are you waiting for?" I reply, my voice quiet.
"I..." He swallows again. "I want to know whether you feel the same, after everything I've said."
How stupid could he be?
I lean towards him, pressing my lips against his with more force than necessary, just to state my point. I probably feel the same, and a little bit more. After a moment, his arms enclose around my body, pulling me closer to him, his fingers tracing curiously along my spine and down to the small of my back, sending shooting waves of heat through my body.
These kisses are going to send my heart into an arrest.
Suddenly, three consecutively loud knocks sound on his window, making us jolt apart immediately. However, due to our jumps of surprise, River ends up banging his elbow against the steering wheel, resultantly making the horn blast the earsplitting sound. And I end up banging my head against the window to my side.
"Crap," I hiss under my breath, rubbing on the sore side of my head.
"Shit," River says straight after me. "Are you okay?" He looks worriedly in the direction of my head.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, don't worry." I lie, dropping my hand from my throbbing head. "Who was that?"
Simultaneously, we both turn to face whoever is standing beside our car. It's Jake, who would've guessed.
"That dick, I will kill him one day." River mumbles, his face fuming. Unlocking the car door, he climbs down from the driver's seat to confront Jake. "What the fuck do you want?"
"I see you two were getting too steamed up in there," he smirks, wriggling his eyebrows with the smuggest look on his face.
"Do you want a punch?" River threatens, frighteningly edging towards Jake.
"Damn, son!" Jake shuffles backward, away from him. "I'm joking, chill out man. I only wanted to tell you we're ready to go."
River sighs, rubbing the side of his face (yet again) in an irritated manner. "Okay, let's go, I'll follow you."
"Cool," Jake nods, then turns to smirk at me. "Lea, don't distract him too much."
Rapidly, the blood rushes straight to my cheeks, and I can't help but smile shyly at his comment. I bow my head to look at my crossed legs; the panini still settled on its packaging in my lap. Then, I hear a whack sound.
"Oh man! What the hell?" Jake whines, and I assume the whacking sound was caused by River hitting Jake across the head or something.
"Now fuck off, drive safe and don't muck around." River orders Jake as he walks away towards his BMW.
River really is the shepherd.
He sits himself back into his driver's seat and shuts the door, letting a rush of wind blow onto my cheeks to cool them down slightly. Turning to face me, a smile pulls at his lips until he's almost grinning. He twists his keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life, his eyes still glued on my face.
"You distract me enough just sitting here," he smirks in the same way Jake did.
I don't say anything; I just laugh a quiet laugh.
"And damn that blush," He adds, admiring my cheeks, much to my embarrassment.
"Stop!" I laugh, "drive!" I point to the almost-empty parking lot before us.
However, he takes my hand, which is still in mid-air, pulls my arm and body towards him, and gives me a light yet heart-skipping kiss on the cheek.
***
We arrive at Graceland at around six in the evening. The sun has almost disappeared, and all that it leaves in its place are the colours of orange and pink that stain the navy sky. Graceland is a rich, upper-class town with a large lake running through the middle, and five-star hotels crowding every street.
Of course the boys would vacation here, they're loaded, and this place looks like it's too expensive even to breathe.
It's not really my thing, but I can't hide the fact that I'm a little bit excited. Okay, maybe a lot. Fine, maybe a lot a lot.
After finding our monstrously grand hotel, we park our cars in the parking lot to its side, and each of us gets out.
"Ah, it's good to be back." Jake grins, staring up at the Victorian architecture of the hotel standing tall before us. Along its concrete walls climb plants of green ivy, making it resemble a castle taken straight out of a fairytale movie.
"Hello! Welcome to the Amberlind Hotel!" A short, bald man in his middle ages sporting a red uniform greets us, his enthusiasm oozing. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Parker!"
They must come here a lot.
"Hey Frederic, good to see you too." River smiles back.
"So, where are your bags?" Frederic smiles to each of us in turn, with his hands pressed together in front of his round belly.
"They're in the boots of the cars; you don't mind having someone take them to our rooms do you?" Ky asks politely, smiling back at him.
"No, not at all!" I can hear Frederic's French accent shining through his voice. "You go! Go! Enjoy yourselves, but don't get into too much trouble." He winks at the boys, before pressing down a button on his radio, which is attached to the pocket of his red vest and speaks through the receiver. Ky hands the keys of the cars to him with a polite nod.
I don't get to hear what Frederic says into his radio because River's hand intertwines with mine and he pulls me along with him as we walk towards the entrance of the hotel. Marissa walks alongside me with Jake and Ky leading the way.
We enter the luxurious hotel lobby, which is dimly lit by dangling lights. After the boys get the keys for our rooms, we step into a square mahogany elevator. Edging to the corner, River's chest presses against my back, our hands still stuck together.
His hand detangles from mine to move to clasp my waist as the elevator lifts us up, and a familiar feeling overwhelms me. It's like déjà vu.
My first kiss, with River, in the elevator, in the hospital.
I bite my lip to stop myself from grinning at the vivid memory replaying in my head. River gives my side a gentle squeeze just as the elevator doors slide open.
With Jake leading the way, we file out of the shaft and walk down the corridor of the hotel. A luxurious red carpet covers the width and length of the floor. I almost feel bad for stepping on it with my dirty shoes. Small and delicate-looking chandeliers hang from the ceiling, lighting our path.
We finally get there, and Jake stops in front of room 404.
"Ky, you can have this room," Jake says, giving Ky his room key, which is a simple white magnetic card. "River, room 405. Marissa, room 407; Lea, room 406; and I'll take room 408." He finishes, handing us all our keys.
"See you later losers." He throws a lazy wave towards us, before heading into his hotel room.
"We get a room each?" Marissa and I both say at the same time. We look at each other, confusion plastering our faces. A room each, how much money do these boys like to spend?
"Yeah," River nods, but we continue to stare at him with perplexed faces that earn a laugh from him.
"We'll see you guys in a bit," River directs his words at Ky and Marissa, placing his hand on the small of my back to guide me towards room 406, the one next to his.
"Give me your card." He holds his hand open for me to place the rectangular card into it.
He swipes it through the lock of the door, and it clicks open for us. With the tips of his fingers, he pushes the door a little further open. I tail after him into the room, and I would be lying to you if I say I didn't just gasp at the sheer beauty of it.
It's huge, for starters. A large bed is backed up against the wall, holding a neat alignment of plump pillows and a plush duvet. There is a mahogany dresser across from the bed with a large arched mirror. To our left, the door is open to the black and red tiled bathroom.
This is the ultimate extravagance.
"Do you like it?" River asks after he switches on the light to make the beautiful room appear even more lavish.
"Do I like it?" I repeat; puzzled as to why he would even ask something like that. "It feels like a princess's bedroom chamber. I love it."
River laughs, turning to face me once he's halfway into the room, "I'm glad, I wanted you to like it."
"How much did you spend on this place?" I walk towards him, stopping only a few feet before him.
He shakes his head, "don't worry about that stuff. I just want you to enjoy this weekend, don't think about money." He says, reaching for both my hands and pulling me closer towards him.
A grin starts to reshape my lips when he wraps his arms around my waist to squeeze me even closer to him.
"You forgot to shut the door." He states, bobbing his head in its direction.
"You can shut it on your way out," I smirk, pressing my palms on his broad chest. As he hugs me closer, I can feel the muscles beneath my fingers contract.
"Ouch, you wanna get rid of me that quickly?" He laughs, his face edging closer to mine while the words leave his mouth.
And just before his lips meet mine, I pull away from his grasp slightly. He never lets go of my body, but just loosens his grip on me a little.
"Go on; I need to get changed before we go out tonight," I giggle, pushing myself away from him.
"Wait," he calls, tightening his hold on my waist and drawing me closer to him again. I don't bother to resist because I don't want to. His arms feel so strong and protective around me. "I can't leave with nothing."
Then, he gently presses his lips against mine.
And the sweet wars raging within my heart and stomach start again.
***