Chapter 33
"What'll it be, Callum?"
Blake poses the question a second time, staring down at me with warm eyes. My nerves are so shot that I cross my arms over my chest to hide how badly I'm trembling. I've never been nervous for sex. Not ever.
Now I feel like I'm the most inexperienced man alive.
"The bedroom," I answer with a voice far shakier than I intend. "Please."
Blake smirks, pulling me towards him to place a lingering kiss on my forehead. His lips travel down the side of my face, landing on my lips a moment later. Already this kiss is so very different from the last one I had with Cade just ten minutes ago.
It's slow, a small flame burning behind it with enough potency to cause a wild fire. He doesn't rush it, his lips dominating the pace and intensity. He slips his arms around my waist, holding me in place with the strength and assurance of his fingertips. When he deepens our kiss, I sink into his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep my balance.
He hoists me up, encouraging my legs to wrap around his waist. They seem to obey of their own accord and tighten into place around his hips. I pull back from our kiss for a second, glaring at him and hating the feel of femininity to this.
"I'm not your fucking bitch," I say with a glare. "Put me down."
Blake squeezes my ass, each hand cupping a separate cheek. "No. I much prefer moving around like this."
He walks us to the bedroom with measured steps, still holding me in place against his body. I feel uncomfortable having him carry me. I want to argue my case, but I'm afraid if I push too hard, Blake will make us go to dinner instead.
When we get inside the bedroom, Blake lowers me onto the bed with such tenderness that I want to punch him in the arm to show him just how masculine I can be. But I seem to be pinned in place – not just by his legs now straddling me, but also by his gaze. It devours me, his eyes studying every inch of my face until landing on my lips.
"Callum," he whispers. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Yes."
He pauses, his face becoming taut with restraint. "Tell me why."
My dick swells beneath my jeans. He grinds into me just enough to make me harden more. I mean, I know he can feel how excited I am. That should be answer enough. When I roll my eyes, Blake seems to pick up on my annoyance and leans down to place a single kiss on my lips.
"Please," he says again. "Just humor me."
"Well aside from the fact that I haven't fucked someone in months and I'm hornier than shit, let's also throw in there that I've fantasized about this for a while. Oh, and – yea, I kind of like you."
"Kind of like me?"
I scowl, fidgeting under the weight of his body. If this dude is trying to get me to make some romantic confession right before we do the dirty, it's not happening. It's just not. There's no reason to lie and say I don't have feelings for the guy, but the unsure side of me kind of wants to see if those feelings stick after being with him sexually.
"What else?" Blake whispers, as if reading my thoughts.
I redden and silently thank Blake for not hitting the light switch when we walked into the bedroom.
"We've had months of sexual tension between us," I say, admitting the final piece. "I want to see if all that sexual build-up is affecting my feelings for you. I want to see if they're still here after we, you know..."
There's a look of hurt that passes over Blake's features, but he nods in understanding. After all we've been through, I wouldn't expect any less from him. It makes me want to hug him – a desire I have never felt aside from family members and the occasional pet.
"It's going to hurt," Blake warns me. "The first time is always painful."
My asshole clenches.
"I don't care."
Blake's erection twitches at my words. His jaw tightens and he nods. "Do you want foreplay?"
Do I want foreplay? What's going on? Who is this guy so tentative all of a sudden? Is he having second thoughts? I frown and shove him with enough force that he gets off me and stands at the foot of the bed. He stares down at me in confusion.
"I just want to fuck," I say. "Didn't realize I had to interview for it first."
Blake backs away and walks over to the closet, digging through his suitcase with his back turned towards me.
What's he doing now? Setting out his clothes for tomorrow?
Fuckin' prude.
"Whatever," I say, my emotions getting the better of me. "Well, I'm going to have sex tonight whether it's with you or someone else. Since you don't seem to be up to the task, I'll just – "
"Finish that sentence, and I will spank you so hard it'll hurt to sit for a week straight."
Blake doesn't turn around to tell me this, but the promise in his voice makes my lips clamp shut. He finishes with whatever he's doing in the closet and turns around. He's pissed. And no more determined than ever.
He slowly unbuttons his shirt. The city lights do their job in illuminating his body in a glorious view. My entire body aches to touch him, to be close to him. I try to hide my desire in every way. Well, except my huge boner. That particular body part is past the point of saving.
"I was trying to do it your way," Blake says, walking over to me and shaking his head. "Was trying to be a gentleman instead of taking you when and how I wanted you."
He drops his shirt on the floor, moving his hands to his pants next. I can't seem to tear my eyes away while he unzips his pants and lets them drop to the floor. When he steps out of them, all that covers his body is a thin pair of boxers.
"But once again my chivalry went wasted," he says, sticking his thumbs under the hem of his boxers. "So we'll do it my way. And I will fuck you just as I want to."
My mouth goes dry.
"Take off all your clothes. All of them," Blake commands calmly.
The confidence of his calm makes me move into action. I stand from the bed, pulling off my t-shirt and scrambling out of my jeans. I stand just a foot away from him, both of our erections straining against the thin material of our boxers. Blake raises an expectant brow.
"I believe I said all of them."
His eyes drop down to my groin and my pulse goes into overdrive. My thumbs hook into my boxers, mirroring his own stance before I pull them down. They fall to the floor, exposing every inch of me to my boss.
His pupils dilate. A second passes before he closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head.
"Get into bed – on your back – and spread your legs open for me," he says just above a whisper.
My breathing becomes labored as I climb into bed.. This is it. My legs tremble as I spread them for Blake, an action I have never done before – for any man or woman. My erection throbs, and all I want to do is touch it. Better yet, to have him touch it.
Blake bends down to pick up his pants from the floor. He pulls out the collected items that he retrieved from the closet – a condom and a bottle of lube. I try to control my breathing watching him tug down his boxers and rip open the condom wrapper.
His naked body seems to radiate, every inch of his body chiseled to perfection. Even his dick looks delectable - perfectly proportioned, thick, and long. Blake puts the condom around the head of his erection, and his gaze flickers to me before he unrolls it.
"Last chance to back out," he whispers.
His voice is raw with lust. I shake my head, unable to look away from him. Blake nods and slides the condom down his shaft. He bites off the cap of the lube and squirts a generous amount into his hand. My ass clenches, both refusing and inviting what's to come.
Blake moves in between my legs, running his lubricated hands along his shaft before slipping his fingers in between my ass cheeks. I jerk away in surprise. This earns me a sinister chuckle.
"Oh c'mon. Don't get all shy on me now, Callum."
I shudder when his finger brushes against my puckered hole. He circles around it, lathering my entry over and over again. It feels so weird, vulnerable even. Yet there's this aching inside of me that knows I'll like it, having him inside me.
Blake leans down to kiss me, this time much rougher and hungrier than the last. He doesn't ask me if I want foreplay. He doesn't ask me if I'm ready either. His hands move down to my ass, spreading my cheeks until the head of his dick presses against my hole.
"Relax," he breaths against my ear.
My heart hammers in my chest. I raise my hands and grip his arms, bracing myself. And then, inch by inch, he pushes himself inside me.
"Fuck," I hiss. "It hurts."
"Do you....do you need me to stop?" Blake asks through pants.
His words are drawn out and hazy, as if he's had one too many drinks. And when he lifts his head to meet my gaze, I see why. The undiluted pleasure swimming in his features is overwhelming. It's so powerful that my pain is temporarily masked.
"No," I answer. "Keep going."
He's so turned on by me, by this, that I can tell he's having trouble thinking of anything else. I take a deep breath, trying to relax and adjust to his size. When he pushes inside me completely, he holds his weight using one hand, using the other to curl around my shaft.
A surge of pleasure dulls the pain as Blake jacks me off. His palm is still slightly lubricated from earlier, and he pulls on me just hard enough and slow enough to make me start squirming for more. My ass involuntarily tightens, and Blake hisses from his own moment of pleasure.
He continues to touch me, pushing me further and further to the edge of orgasm. Just when I am about to come, Blake starts moving again. The pain resurfaces when he pulls out of me, intensifying when he slams into me a second time.
I groan in a mixture of heady pain and pleasure.
His hand never leaves my dick, a constant reminder of pleasure while I endure being fucked for the first time ever. A low moan slips past his lips.
"Damnit Callum," he murmurs. "You're so tight."
I purposely clench around his shaft again, and he shivers with pleasure. Despite the pain, I start moving my hips, encouraging Blake to fuck me the way I know he wants to. It doesn't take much more encouragement than that.
My boss digs his knees into the bed, pumping into me harder and faster than the last time. The pain becomes an unending throb, but then...
It happens.
There's a white-hot feeling of pleasure that starts to build each time Blake pushes inside me. There's a certain place he hits inside me, and each time his shaft presses against it, my dick twitches with ecstasy.
It feels good.
My ass clenches with approval, and I start meeting him thrust for thrust.
"Callum," he warns me with a shaky voice. "I'm going to come if you keep doing that."
I smirk and meet his next thrust so hard his thighs clap against my ass cheeks. Blake moans again, losing control of the moment. He fucks me hard and fast. His hand moves in time with his thrusts as he jerks me off, and the need to finish takes over me as well.
"Faster," I pant.
Blake listens to my request, his passion so strong that my body shudders against the bed. The pleasure I'm now feeling outweighs the pain. His dick is unrelenting, sliding against the very spot that spurs me on to ecstasy.
It's like I can't stop it. I can't control it.
Without warning I orgasm, my seed spilling out and covering Blake's hand and the bottom of my stomach. His eyes widen when he sees it. It seems to be all he needs to pump into me a final time. Then he stills, rolls of pleasure coursing through his body while he shudders with release.
My arms wind around his neck, pulling him into me. The warmth of his chest radiates against mine. We're both panting, the heat of the moment shifting into a satisfied content. He doesn't say anything for a while, and neither do I.
I just keep holding him against me, enjoying the weight of his lean body as it relaxes into me and around me. Everything about this felt so right. So good. Blake grunts as he pulls out of me, but I hold him tight enough to know I don't want him to leave.
So he doesn't.
Instead he slides his arms around my hips, holding me in return. His head falls into the crook of my neck, and I find myself placing gentle kisses on his forehead again and again. And while Blake relaxes into my arms and begins to fall asleep, I stare at the ceiling, terrified of the new realization unveiling itself in my mind.
I'm falling in love.