Ok so I wasn't fine. I was sick.
We weren't far away and I tried so hard not to be, but i couldn't help it.
I threw up all over the minibus and over all the clothes I had on. Luckily I still had some wet wipes. Everyone was pretty ticked off at me because of the smell and all that but Ryan and Harry just seemed worried for me.
In fact, I'm surprised Ryan didn't have a go at me the last time I was sick, considering I ruined his shirt, jacket and trousers in one go!
I stepped off the bus and took a deep breath. I could smell the salty sea. Scratch that, I can see the sea!
The hotel is literally on the beach! Not a 20 minute walk away like I had initially expected.
Mike gave me a room key and told me to get into a group with Tee and Carmen.
I reluctantly went over to them, before heading up to the room that we were staying in. The hotel was actually quite nice.
There was a dining area, swimming pool, lounge area, amusements room/show room and then the beach right outside the door. I knew we had the hotel booked, it was more of a cottage than a hotel but whatever.
The bedroom was nice too. There was a chest of drawers, a wardrobe, a single dressing table with hairdryer and a single bed and a double bed. There was also an on suit.
"Shotgun not sharing the bed!" I called when we walked in.
"Suits me fine" Carmen grumbled.
"Can you two please just try not to fight?" Said Tee following behind Carmen, almost tripping over her suitcase as she came in.
"As if." I said.
I took a spare change of clothes from the top of my suitcase and got myself cleaned up in the bathroom. I then washed the vomit off the other ones and put them in a plastic bag. I'm sure there will be laundry facilities here somewhere.
After unpacking, Mike wanted us all down in the lounge room before going to a walk on the beach. I left after Tee and Carmen did. In fact I was the last to arrive.
"Are you feeling better?" Ryan asked, rushing to the door to meet me, taking my hand into his.
"Yeah I'm much better thanks."
"Right!" Mike said, clapping his hands together. "This is the plan. I want you to get ready as we are going to the beach for the afternoon whilst it's sunny. Fish and chips for dinner then we can come back here and watch a film if you want."
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As I got changed into my bikini, something crossed my mind. This is the first time people would see the scars on my wrists. Apart from Ryan but I trusted him not to tell everybody, and now everybody would know.
My bikini was a deep blue and had a gem on the front. On top I put my white shorts, baggy vest top and black sandals. I had a sunhat and sunglasses too. So, after completely drenching myself in suncream, I headed out to meet with everybody else.
I opened the door to see Ryan standing there in his shorts and shirt.
"How long have you been there?" I asked, locking the door behind me.
"Not long. I'm in the room next door so I thought I'de wait, so that I can walk you onto the beach. Mike and the others are already out there."
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I lay my towel on the golden sand. It was warm and there was a slight breeze. Ryan was next to me on one side, Jody on the other. Most of the younger kids were in the sea splashing each other and Tyler was chasing Bailey round for whatever reason.
I just lay there in the sun with my eyes shut. I hadn't felt like this in a long time. It was refreshing and relaxing.
"Are you coming?" Asked Jody, gesturing towards the sea.
"Yeah sure." I said, taking my shorts and vest off.
Ryan's POV
Marie got up from next to me to go into the sea with Jody. She was only wearing her bikini and damn did she look hot! I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"Ryan are you joining us?" She asked jokingly, clearly noticing me staring.
I felt my cheeks begin to burn.
"Lead the way!" I said, throwing off my shirt and shorts and kicking my flip flops back towards my towel.
Marie's POV
After a water fight, a swim and being thrown in the air by Mike, we all got out of the sea as Mai Lee returned with the fish and chips.
We all sat on a wall looking towards the sunset. Ryan was with me, totally stuffing his face! Charming. Tyler was on the other side of me, doing the same. I think Tyler ate most of Jody's food as well as his own!
Ryan placed his hand on mine and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"Aww Myan love" Tyler teased.
"Myan?" I asked.
"It's your ship name. Your couple name."
"Awww" Tee sighed.
"Myan? I like it!" Ryan said smiling.
"Me too!" I said, giving him a short kiss, realising people were watching.
"Marie, why are there scars on your wrist?" Asked Mo, completely ruining the moment.
"Ummmm"
"Oh my god!" Carmen yelled. "You're a freak!"
"No I'm not!" I shouted back.
"You are. Your so unstable you started cutting yourself!"
"That's enough of that please Carmen" Mike said.
"No! I'm not sharing with someone who's ashamed of themselves!"
I was about to start crying. Because she is right. I am ashamed. I'm ashamed of my past, of the marks on my skin. I thought this was a new beginning, coming here, apparently not.
"You don't know the whole story Carmen!" Snapped Mike.
"I know enough of it! She was so sad that she decided to self harm because she is such a stupid little attention seeker!"
I felt Ryan's arms wrap round my waist. He felt cold on my bare skin. I'm still in my bikini btw.
"Yeah that's right!" She continued. "Rely on your little Ryan to keep you safe! Well what happens when he leaves you? When he finds someone better?"
"Carmen?!" Tee scolded, clearly seeing how upset I was.
"No Tee! She doesn't understand when to stop!"
"But I do understand when I'm not wanted!" I stated getting up and storming off into the hotel room. Like I could hide here for long. Tee and Carmen would be back soon anyway.
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There was a quiet knock on the door before Tee came in.
"I'm sorry, about Carmen."
"It's not your fault."
"Yeah but none of us really stuck up for you either." She said, handing me my bag with all of my beach things in it.
"I can handle Carmen and her bullying. I've been through worse"
"Like what?"
I thought for a moment before replying.
"At my old school, people used to bully me about my parents, my appearance, they would use me and deceive me and take me for granted. Coming here was like a fresh start."
"I'm so sorry" Tee stated, pulling me into a tight hug.
"It's alright. What's everybody else doing?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Mike made us all come back inside after you left. He wanted everyone to give you some space but it's my room too so he couldn't exactly stop me."
"Where are they all? I haven't heard anybody come up the lift or anything."
"Mike and Mai Lee are putting on a film. They said they would wait for me to come back down, hopefully with you with me?"
"Is Carmen there?"
"Yeah but she is grounded for a few days so I doubt she will say anything else. Mike told us not to say anything about the scars. It's your past and your business. So, are you coming?"
"Yeah come on let's go! I need to stop being sad, this is a holiday after all, let's at least try and enjoy it!"
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