I looked at Miri. His little chest going up and down with his breathing movements. But despite the tubes he still seemed to be resting peacefully.
Amiri Sylvester Alsina. Our miracle child literally. From us losing our other child through a miscarriage, from our many failed attempts to have another one, to him surviving his mother being shot unharmed except for being born prematurely, he had been through war and back and somehow he was here.
"He's resilient because Amb is."
Stacy looked at me sure. Not a tear in her eye. "A child cannot be greater than the parent. What the parent possesses so does the child. He made it and Amb is."
I wiped my eyes and looked to make sure no one else was around. They weren't.
"If Amb don't make it, I want my kids to live you and Trav."
"What are you talking about?"
"Mama and Amb's mother they up in age. Cha already raised three. I don't want to put that burden on them. And I don't trust nobody else with my children's lives. I know y'all gon raise em right. I know y'all gon love em and give them everything me and Amb would."
"Hold on. You talking about killing yourself?" She screamed whispered to me.
"If Amb don't make it. I'm not."
She grabbed me by my arm and pulled me into a bathroom, locking the door.
"August snap out of it." She yelled shaking me.
"I can't. I made the decision already. Now I told you because I don't want there to be confusion. If I got to write it down for proof. I will."
"You are not killing yourself."
"Stacy It's not right they suffering and I'm not. I'm the man of my house Stac. That means I'm suppose to protect and take care of them and I can't do that. Ever since I been with Amb I just failed as a man. First it was I didn't have the money. Then getting kicked out of school. Now she..." I broke down.
Stacy brought my head down to her shoulders and patted my back.
"Aug we can't do this." She tried to keep herself from crying. "I promised myself I would be strong for her. Amb was there for everybody else and she needs us to be there by believing, praying and hoping for the best. Not by doubting."
"I hurt so bad Stac I can't breathe. Amb is my everything man. She my everything and if she go, there's no point to my life anymore. I barely survived Mel being gone, but Amb? I just know right now, I'm not."
- Death Wish- Life After Marriage
Assata POV-
"Ma go downstairs and talk to daddy."
"No when he leaves I'm going to a hotel."
I sighed. I just wanted them both out my house really. He had been downstairs all day and refused to leave until she spoke to him and she refused to come down.
"Ma Whatever it is. Just go work it out. You can't make up with Auggie and not daddy. Daddy isn't responsible for Auggie's decisions."
"This is deeper than Auggie." She was packing her stuff.
This drama was just never ending. And all I really wanted to do was get laid. That's it. But it wasn't going to happen. Cause once her and Auggie made up.
She was still tripping with my dad. Why I don't know. But they need to work this shit out so me and my baby can get started on our legacy! Jesus! Is it that hard for a girl to get laid around here? 😫
"Tell him to go and I'll go." She said.
"I'm not telling daddy to leave. And just like you, if I did, he wouldn't listen."
"You're a daddy's girl anyway so..." She rolled her eyes.
"Ma, I love you both the same. I am not taking sides. But you do need to talk to him."
"I'm done talking. I've done 24 years worth of that. Well 23, because I doubt we make it to our 24th year anniversary."
I rolled my eyes so hard. She was so, so stubborn. Jesus. She was stubborn. Shoot me.
"Ma you and I both know you're not going anywhere."
"That's what he thinks. That's why he thinks he can treat me anytype of way. But I've seen Beyoncé's Lemonade and I'm not standing for it anymore. His ass is going to learn."
I laughed at how dead serious she said that.
"I'm serious." She looked at me.
I kissed my teeth. "Ma daddy is Auggie and Amiri on steroids. They worship the ground you walk on. But daddy would put himself in front of you so he could Be the ground. Everybody and they mama know that."
"That's what we thought about Jay-Z until Lemonade." She said.
She was so dramatic. She saw one Beyoncé video now, she was all hard. 😂😂
"Amber I'm not leaving until we talk about this." My daddy said on the other side of the door.
I went to the door.
"Don't open the door." My mother warned me.
I opened the door. My
Mother was mad but so what. I wanted them out. 😏
"Whatever it is work it out so I can be done playing peace maker for the day." I looked at them and closed the door.
Amber POV-
I stood against the dresser with my arms folded.
He walked over to me and tried to kiss me. I put my entire hand in his face.
"Kiss that Becky with the good hair."
I looked at him with the most serious face I could give, quoting a Beyoncé lyric from lemonade.
"Who the hell is Becky?" He looked at me confused.
"Beyoncé is on to you."
"Amber You think after almost 24 years of marriage, now is when Imma start to fuck up huh?"
"What else you doing? Because it's not me. Every since Miri and them left for school. You have spent more hours at that office than you have spent at home
With me. Sometimes weekends. You hire that new dentist. Looking like she belongs on somebody's hoe stroll rather than an office. And you think I'm too dumb to notice. You spend more time helping her "set up" her practice than you have spent with me. I am not stupid August. And how dare you. After I sacrificed everything to make sure you got where you needed to be. You know what. You can have her. Cause at this point. Im focusing on me. Focusing on getting my baby through this rough patch and that's it. I hope her ass is worth it." I threw up my deuces like Beyoncé in Lemonade. He grabbed me by my arm.
"Let me go." I tried not to yell to startle Sata and O. But I would. Especially if he tried to hit me.
"No you gonna listen to me."
"Let me go August or I will have my daughter and O up here so fast it'll make your head spin." I tried to yank my arm back.
He wouldn't let me go. He held me against the wall. "No you gon listen. Anybody that knows me know there is nobody more important to me than my wife. A nigga want to kill me, take you away from me. Because that'll do it."
I rolled my eyes and yanked my arm back. "Oh please. You've been dramatic since I've met your dumb ass. I'm not falling for it anymore." I pushed him out the way and went to packing my luggage.
He looked at me for a minute.
"Even with all we been through. Me proving time and time again the man I am. You still haven't changed. I thought after 26 years of being together. Almost 24 years of being married, you'd know me by now. Know that every decision I make is for you."
I ignored him and kept packing.
"I was trying to wait until our anniversary in April to tell you the news. But I've been working a lot because I'm retiring early. You sacrificed so much for us, I wanted to sacrifice for you. So you wouldn't have to be alone. So we could enjoy that time together. So I could make up for all the nights you were with the kids and I wasn't. So we could travel the world. Start living life again. So I could be your cheerleader 100% of
The time and help you discover what you want to do now, without work being in the way. And I hired Veronica so that when I make that transition she can take over the office, but we'll still get money from The rent she would pay. That way our income would still be the same mostly. And should I have explained, yes. But I thought after all this time you knew me. But I guess not. So at this point, do you."
I put my head on the luggage in defeat as he walked out. Damn you Lemonade. 😖 🍋