Friday.. Beaks almost over and it feels like the last weekend of summer before school starts again. Jimmy resting on me, between my legs and against my chest as he plays some new video game. I kiss his head every once in awhile. I roll his shirt up, dancing my fingers on his bare tummy. He giggles as I go left to right. "You're just cute." I pat his abs and let his black shirt fall naturally.
"You're just cute, babe." He kisses my jaw once the game loads up again.
"You're really cute when you fight laughter and tickles.." I gently squeeze his sides. He rolls over laughing.
I'm dragged onto my back, my legs go over Jimmy's thighs. "You know when you're really cute?" He grins a playful one.
"Never." I hide my face.
"What?" My arms are held above my head. "You always are, but especially now." My neck becomes wet with spit as he nibbles with growls.
"Jimmy!" I kick and scream with laughter.
He lifts up smiling. "See, you look really cute now." He uses the blanket under me to clean his spit off.
"Play your game, James Thomas." I pinch his cheeks, his eyes squint as he tries to bite me. "Stop." I tap his nose.
"Me stop?!" He laughs. "You're the one hurting me, Spencer Grace."
I hug him to my neck, cradling his head in my hands and neck. "I'm sorry, baby."
"Psych!" He shouts out. "You only hurt when you bite me.. I also like this shirt one you. I love when you show your nerdy self." A black Star Wars shirt with white specks for stars. "You're so damn cute." He kisses me before sitting up to play his game.
'Come hang out with the guys down at Downstairs!'
Higgins texts Jimmy, I'm on his phone looking for a picture from camping earlier this week. "Baby! Steve wants you to go out with the guys!" I shout over the video game he's playing.
The screen pauses. "Now?"
"I don't know.." I shrug and hand the phone over.
Jimmy slowly nods after a few dings. "Yeah, now.. I'll be home by midnight." It's only 9. "Unless you want me home."
"No, you go out and have fun, baby, I don't care if you hang with the guys." I kiss the hovering face. "I love you." I kiss him again.
"I love you." I'm kissed. "Too." And again. "Stay up because you're getting some more when I get back."
I smile through a bitten lip. "I'll stay up, babe." I watch him walk out the front door. I turn his saved game off and turn some Netflix on. Gary cuddled up to my side.
12:58
Saturday, April 2
My phone clicks on for the millionth time in the past hour. He probably got caught up singing or being Jimmy. He's too nice, he's not going to turn down a opportunity to entertain people or his fans. He'll wake me up when he gets home anyways. Gar will jump off the bed and that'll wake me up. The one thing I hate about being a light sleeper.
All throughout the night I kept waking up to his side cold and lonely. Minus the dog, I haven't slept in a empty bed in months.. Also, my phone won't stop dinging with tweets from people tweeting me. For what? I don't know. I'm never on Twitter and if I am, I respond to one of Jimmy's or Gloria's tweets.
I open a new one up, a picture of Jimmy with a group of people, Higgins and Miles are in the background laughing together. A girl side hugging Jimmy. A little too huggy.. More like clinging to him like he's hers! I hold onto him like that like he's mine! Because he is mine. That's my boyfriend.
My eyes fill with tears. Anger. "That bastard.." I whisper as I look through my mentions. The same picture and some stupid Daily Mail article is attached to some. Daily Mail is shit, why would someone read anything from there anyways? I ignore the article. The picture I can't.
A new one comes up. They're kissing. He looks sober and fine to me! Could he not wait any longer?! Kissed some random bitch instead of me?! The girl he told he'd be back by midnight to! To kiss and cuddle like he apparently had intended. I'll be home by midnight, my ass.
Jimmy
Guilt wrapped around me like a straitjacket once I saw Spencer's face. This isn't going to be easy. "I have to tell you something." I take the empty cushion next to her.
"This?" She turns her phone. A picture of me and the one night standee kissing at the bar last night. "I've gotten this fucking picture tweeted to me all fucking morning!" She raises her voice.
I take a breath. "Will you please let me explain?"
Within seconds Spencer's face gets serious. "No, I don't care to hear your pathetic excuse."
"What excuse is there?! I need to tell you, Spencer!" I grab her thin cool arm.
She shoves my hand away. "No you don't. You don't have anything to tell me because I'm done. I should've listened to my dad before it was too late. I knew dating a celebrity would smack me in the face. I just didn't know it'd hit me this hard."
"Spencer, please!" I stand up along with her.
"No! I don't give a fuck about your stupid story, Jimmy Fallon. Or your stupid apology and I really do not give a fuck about your damn life! This is the first and last time you'll be able to do this with me in your life. I'm done!! Tell that on the stupid show. Tell the world that you're a fucking asshole who goes out and cheats on his girlfriend. While she's at home, in your apartment, with your dog, sleeping alone in YOUR BED!" Tears run down her perfect face. "Toss my stuff out on the curb for the garbage man to pick up tonight. I hope you have a shitty life." The walls rattle from the slam given off on the door. She's small, but has power.
Blue glass shatters against the wall. I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I knew I shouldn't have gone out last night. I should've stayed home and spent the night with Spence. We had a relaxing break and me being idiot me goes out, gets shit faced and ends up kissing some random ass chick! Apparently from the note this morning, I slept with her. I guess the taken life didn't settle in me last night..
Gary comes running out to me. Jumping on my lap, licking me all over. "Stop." She continues. "Gary, stop!" I yell. She hunkers down, jumping off the couch and cowarding down the hall. She doesn't like loud noises and I always forget until I scare her.. I never act like that with her and I feel horrible.
The cushions underneath sink my body as I lie down, staring out the window, in my now quiet apartment. Why'd I do that? We could be making breakfast, Penn giggling like she always does and Gary dancing at our feet. Music circling around us as whiffs of pancakes and bacon fill our noses.
Spencer
"Hey.. Are you home?" I call Collin before calling a girlfriend of mine.
"Sure am! What's up?"
"Nothing.. I just miss my baby brother."
I hear him smile. "I miss my big sister! Come over, Spin, I was making some breakfast. I can make extra."
"I'm down the street from your building. I'll be up soon!"
"Doors unlocked." I hear it click over.
"Kay." I hang up and my eyes tear up again. I jog the half block and up the stairs.
I don't walk in, I knock like always. "Spin?" Coll grabs me by my shirt and hugs tight. "What happened?" He whispers in my ear. I'm forced up on my tip toes, his grip is so tight.
I pull away, fighting tears. "We got in a fight and I left.. Don't tell dad! He's still iffy about Jimmy and I don't care to hear him say he told me so.. I know I shouldn't have dated him, Coll.." I cry all over again.
"I won't, sis.. I promise.." He walks backwards into his messy apartment. "Waffles on the counter if you're hungry."
I shake my head. "I not, but thank you."
"Mhmm!"
We sit hip to hip on his plush couch, watching some morning soccer game. "You know.." I pull his arm hair. "You're the best brother ever.."
I hear him smile. "I know I am."
"Oh, do you now?" I ask laughing.
"I do and you're the best sister ever. Despite all the shit we got each other into, I still wouldn't trade you for the world. I'm proud to call you my beautiful sister."
"Right back at ya, slugger!" I punch his arm. "Do you have any beer or soda?"
"At 9 am?"
I stare at dads twin. "I'm in pain.. My heart is broken.."
"Fine.. I'm just watching out for you, Spin, I don't want you to become a alcoholic because of a stupid boy."
"I won't.." I take a drink. "How are you and Sam?"
"We're good! She went to Philly to see family. Or she'd be here."
I nod. "Yeah, I saw on Facebook.. Just watching out for you, Kellogg! Jesus.. Can I spend the night?"
He laughs. "You never have to ask me, Talespin."
"We were such shits to each other growing up."
"Yeah, but what's siblings without hell?" He laughs.
"Exactly!" I punch his arm again. Like he could feel it.
"You've always been the abusive one.. But I don't think I could ever bring myself to hurting you. You're so teeny tiny, Spin, I would break you in seconds."
I sit up and set my bottle on the coffee table, next to his big feet. "Oh yeah?! Bring it, bro!" I punch his chest.
"No way in hell would I ever lay a finger on you like that. Maybe when we were kids, but not now. Do I need to beat Jimmy up though? I can break him for you. Send him to the hospital for a few weeks." I quickly shake my head. "What'd he even do?"
I shrug and slink back to my spot. "Nothing and no you don't. I wouldn't let him explain and I don't wanna explain to you."
"Fine.." Coll signs. "Are you staying all weekend?"
"Can I?"
He nods. "Yeah, some company would be nice. Sam doesn't get back home until Monday night."
"I'll keep ya company, bud. Beat your ass in some Mario and watch Rocky for hours. Just like old times."
"Hey! I still do that! Don't make fun, you loser."
"I'm the loser?! Who'd beat your ass in Mario every time?! Mmm?! Me." I poke my chest. "And you'd always cry to mom because you were the biggest crybaby known to man. I'd let you win sometimes just so mom wouldn't tell me to play fair. And by the way.." I go back to my spot. "I was playing fair.. Not my fault you sucked."
He laughs. "Oh really?! You can beat me in Mario all you want, I can beat your ass in any Halo, Call of Duty, Grand Theft, Madden, and Mortal Kombat game. Ever! We have all weekend, sis!" He claps. "Bring it!"
Childhood all over again. "Are we gonna tally this shit up?! Loser has to eat three jars of baby food. Of the winners choosing!" I poke his cheek hard.
"Fuuuuuuccckkkkk.." Colls head drops back. "Deal." He shakes my hand. "We play at noon, I'm still waking up."
"Fair enough!" I collapse back in my spot and wrap myself in the blanket.
Jimmy
I'm waken up to a knock on the door. Is Spencer back? I open it, leaning against the frame. "Hey.." I yawn.
"You left these at the bar last night. I was going to wait until tonight, but thought you could use them now or I'd forget.." Higgs passes my keys over.
I toss them onto the side table. "Thanks, man." I yawn again.
"Did I wake you two?" I hold a finger up. "Where is she?"
"Do you have time?"
"Yeah, of course I do." He steps in after I move aside. We make way to the couch and plop down. "What happened, man?"
"Do you remember some brunette last night? In a white tank top and black skinny jeans?"
He shakes his head. "No.. Not that I can remember.. Why?"
"I don't either!" I open my phone to Twitter, finding the pictures. "Apparently this happened though.." I hand it over
A jaw drops, a head shakes. "Well, good thing you didn't go off with her."
"Dude, I did or at least I was told we did.. I don't think anything happened. I woke up dressed, hair was fine. But that's why Spencer's not here.. People were tweeting this to her all morning. Once I got home, she flipped and just.." I pause, staring at Gary in her bed. "She left after.. Wouldn't let me explain anything. I feel like such a fucking asshole.."
"Jim.." He grabs my knee. "If she wants to know the story, she'll come to you. She'll be back if she wants to know."
"Yeah, but what if she doesn't? She just randomly flips out and just leaves.. She said she's nothing like her mom, but I see it more and more.."
"Do you two fight a lot?"
I shake my head. "No.. We shouted a bit on our trip, but that lasted for 10 minutes and was nothing."
Higgins sighs. "Is she bipolar?"
"No.. I don't think so.. She just has a temper that you yourself can't tame. I don't even think she can at times. That does sound kinda bipolar.. Huh.."
"How often does she flip?"
"Not often.. She's always really goofy. Lovey and cute.. I don't know, Stephen.." I'm still watching Gary sleep.
He chuckles. "Well, James.. Maybe she'll get over it. Maybe she'll realize that you tried to talk to her and she's the one that left and got mad."
I shake my head. "I don't know.. But her dad doesn't like me, hopefully if she's smart enough, she didn't go to him. She's a big time daddy's girl though.."
"Why doesn't he like you? What'd you do?"
"Nothing! He just doesn't feel comfortable with us dating. He thinks I'm going to get her pregnant and just leave. Or end up just kicking her out randomly."
His eyes squint. "Does he know you're no way like that? Do I need to go figure this all out with him?"
I laugh. "No.. She hasn't said anything about it lately, since the last two times we went to dinner. I'd assume he's over it. I think he's mad at the person she was in high school now."
"What kind of person was she? Do you know?"
I glance over at him, he just smirks. "She'd sneak out a lot, drank and smoked. She had a miscarriage her senior year of high school, but apparently he didn't know until now. I don't know.." I rest my head in my hand. "I just miss her, man.."
He nods. "Yeah, you two did seem to love each other like a married couple. Did you two ever talk marriage? Maybe she got mad because you weren't being serious about it."
"I jokingly ask Gary if she wanted a mom. Spence laughed but nothing else was said."
"Would you marry her? I mean if she came back and was fine."
"Yeah, I'd love to make her mine.. Hang on.." I get up to answer the door. Please be Spencer! "Hey." I look up.
Odd, they don't come to the door. "Spencer Hughes?" A UPS man hands me a box.
"She just stepped out, thanks, man." I sign and close the door. Tossing a Sephora box next to my sunglasses and keys. "I don't know, Higg.. I'm just lost."
"I know, man.. I know how you feel. What if she doesn't come back?"
I shrug. "Then she doesn't come back. We're done." My eyes shift to her black jacket on the chair.