semi-automatic ; j.d

By SA1NTPAB1O

512K 22.4K 30.5K

josh looks at her, his smile broad and the corners of his eyes creasing, and in that moment she realizes that... More

one ; salutations
two ; middle school
three ; musical sacrifices & the theory of guac on the side
four ; robot backpack
five ; facetime calls & 'i love you's'
six ; the red hair fiasco
seven ; platonic sleepovers & goodbye kisses
eight ; tonsil tennis
nine ; all's well that ends well
ten ; a letter to homesickness
eleven ; the christmas tree crisis
twelve ; one door closes
thirteen ; drunk confessions
fourteen ; not-so-suprise visit
fifteen ; illegal drinks & labels
sixteen ; two a.m (right) hand holds
seventeen ; an argueable amount of broken ornaments
eighteen ; harriet the snake ghost
nineteen ; in which tyler proposes
twenty ; mediocre drum lessons
twenty one ; meeting (future) in laws & the return of the robot backpack
twenty two ; equal spooning rights
twenty three ; traffic light kisses
twenty four ; the background music of 'i love you'
twenty five ; ginger ale cough drops
twenty six ; and a window opens
twenty seven ; bae material
twenty eight ; the wedding dress obligation
twenty nine ; strawberry cuts
thirty ; the first non-platonic, not sarcastic, actual 'i love you'
thirty one ; the start of new classes & new friendships
thirty two ; in which josh is jealous
thirty three ; pink gerbera daises
thirty four ; dark days
thirty five ; a trip for concerts & an oragami girlfriend
thirty six ; what a catch, donnie
thirty seven ; joshler
thirty eight ; double date dye discussion
thirty nine ; fetus josh
forty ; in which josh leaves his heart
fourty one ; the definition of light cuddles
fourty two ; the basement
fourty three ; luke the doorman
fourty three and a half ; shorter than your temper
fourty four ; gangsters don't cry
fourty five ; the downfall of us all
fourty six ; stomach's tied in knots
fourty seven ; scratchy tights & little girl dresses
fourty eight ; faking it
fourty nine ; hell's hot for good reasons
fifty ; racing hearts & wandering hands
fifty one ; freckled galaxy
fifty three ; festivals & flower crowns
fifty four ; in which josh learns spanish
fifty five ; no chill
fifty six ; telepathy & teddys
fifty seven ; burned gay porn
fifty eight ; the roomate dilemma
fifty nine ; passwords & promises
sixty ; prince yoshua
sixty one ; neon croc
sixty two ; talks with tyjo
sixty three ; birthday boy (part one)
sixty three and a half ; birthday boy (part two)
sixty three and three fourths ; birthday boy (part three)
sixty four ; thanks for the memories
sixty five ; nightmares
sixty six ; the announcement
sixty seven ; in which josh gets his makeup done
sixty eight ; painting nails
sixty nine ; babysitting
seventy ; brownies & birthday cards
seventy one ; hair pulling
seventy two ; front seat handjobs
seventy three ; the marijuanas
seventy four ; back to bismol
seventy five ; sold out shows & backflips
seventy six ; an awkward kink discussion
seventy seven ; the lock bridge
seventy eight ; with the white vans
seventy nine ; denouement
eighty : unsteady
eighty one ; in which josh is moody
eighty two ; drinks
eighty three ; the jia soundtrack
eighty four ; pancake blunts
eighty five ; daddy issues
eighty six ; in the driver's seat
eighty seven ; promised rewards & a promised future
eighty eight ; so long and thanks for all the booze
eighty nine ; full moon
ninety ; r-rated tour talks
100k a/n
ninety one ; coming out
ninety two ; the mysterious mystery of baby joseph
ninety three ; babies and houses and weddings
ninety four ; winston the babysitter
ninety five ; the towel policy
summer a/n
ninety six ; red roses
ninety seven ; goodnight goodmorning
ninety eight ; tommy
ninety nine ; in which tyler cockblocks
one hundred ; death of a bachelor
one hundred and a half ; in which josh catches a porygon
one hundred and one ; disney pda
one hundred and two ; coffee kisses
one hundred and three ; lost and found
one hundred and four ; changing of the seasons
one hundred and five ; late arrival
one hundred and six ; a bunch of faulty condoms & another talk with tyjo
one hundred and seven ; right of passage
one hundred and eight ; it's routine, baby
one hundred and nine ; tj
one hundred and ten ; valediction
epilogue

fifty two ; a plethora of pick up lines

4K 205 277
By SA1NTPAB1O

can i just write this book forever because i totally would

-

a day before festival traveling starts, mia is in the library on campus, surrounded by textbooks and notes.

business communications. ugh. why did i even sign up for this? she asks herself while flipping through one of the heavy books from the table. the class has been more of a pain than anything, but she needs it to graduate.

as she's reading about stuff that she can really care less about, her phone vibrates inside the pocket of her jacket.

yoshua💕 : wanna hear a joke

👑princess mia👑 : no

yoshua💕 : okay so i'll tell it anyways

yoshua💕 : did you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass

👑princess mia👑 : i'm

yoshua💕 : wait i have more

yoshua💕 : are you a fruit? because honeydew you know how fine you look right now?

👑princess mia👑 : plz stop

yoshua💕 : if you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber

👑princess mia👑 : why are these all food related

yoshua💕 : idk cause i'm hungry

yoshua💕 : okay anywaaaays

yoshua💕 : are you jewish? cause you ISRAELI HOT

👑princess mia👑 : have i told you today how much i hate you

yoshua💕 : k rude

👑princess mia👑 : ew don't 'k' me

yoshua💕 : oops just did

👑princess mia👑 : fine suck your own dick from now on

yoshua💕 : baBE OKAY I'M SORRY

yoshua💕 : I WON'T EVEN USE THE 'K' KEY ANYMORE

yoshua💕 : STARTING NOW

👑princess mia👑 : ur an idiot

yoshua💕 : love you 2 bby

👑princess mia👑 : okay i have to go study so i can pass and actually graduate

yoshua💕 : aww my smart lil bbygirl

👑princess mia👑 : stOp

yoshua💕 : one more joke for the road?

👑princess mia👑 : no

yoshua💕 : i'm gonna pretend you said yes

yoshua💕 : are you african? because you're a frican babe

👑princess mia👑 : bye






two hours later, mia decides that her mind can't handle anymore useless facts coming from the textbook. luckily she finished her homework assignment, so now she doesn't have that to worry about.

there's not a lot of people still on campus because of the fact that it's thursday and spring break is about to start. zach is already long gone with his boyfriend, who's taking him to frickin europe.

zach called it 'sugar daddy goals'.

anyways, mia finally made it to her car that was pretty much parked way half way across the country from the library.

okay, so maybe that's a little dramatic, but still. the walk was rough.

when she gets to her apartment she finds jenna stressing over choosing outfits to pack.

"i wanna look cute," says the blonde while rummaging through her closet, tossing various articles of clothing onto her bed.

mia watches her from the vanity chair. which, for the record, doesn't have wheels or spin like the chair in mia's room. so it's kinda lame.

"you always look cute," she says. "like in anything. you could wear a garbage bag and still make it look like a million dollar outfit."

mia is an a+ friend on most occasions.

and so jenna grins. "does josh enjoy how sweet you are, too?"

"probably not, since i spend most of the time telling him off."

this time, jenna rolls her eyes. as she's sorting through her wardrobe and picking out different outfits she decides to bring up something with mia. "hey, so, tyler and i might've found a place."

oh god that's right, jenna's gonna be moving out soon. "yeah?"

"mhm," nods the blonde. "it's a really cute house, not even twenty minutes away."

"that's cool," mia says back with a slow nod. she doesn't actually think it's cool that her best friend is leaving, meanwhile mia is still trying to come up with a way to keep the apartment. get a new roommate, maybe?

okay do you honestly think you can find another person to put up with living with you?

or she could always just become a stripper.

no, no you cannot.

alright so she's pretty much fucked until she can figure out a better alternative.

"how many crop tops are too many crop tops?" jenna asks, her gorgeous blue eyes looking over the pile of clothes now strewn across her bed.

mia glances at the mess. "jesus, jenna, it's only a week, how much stuff are you bringing?"

"i like options!"

"okay," sighs mia. "so put together a weeks worth of outfits and then bring like two extra ones."

jenna nods her head and begins organizing things, folding up pieces of clothing and putting them nearly in her suitcase.

while she's doing that, mia picks up her phone and sees a text from josh. it's a link to a website for on-sale cats.

👑princess mia👑 : no

yoshua💕 : but plz

👑princess mia👑 : not happening

yoshua💕 : WHY DO YOU HATE ME

👑princess mia👑 : because you keep harassing me about buying a cat

yoshua💕 : you say that like its a bad thing

👑princess mia👑 : it is

👑princess mia👑 : especially since i'm not getting a cat

yoshua💕 : yeah yeah whatever

yoshua💕 : so were you planning on not coming over or

yoshua💕 : cause idk about you but nighttime cuddles are my fave

👑princess mia👑 : you come here

yoshua💕 : no you come here

👑princess mia👑 : but i'm a lazy college student who just got home

yoshua💕 : and i'm a lazy drummer boy who misses his gf

👑princess mia👑 : that was kinda cute

yoshua💕 : you should make that my contact name

👑princess mia👑 : um that's kinda long

yoshua💕 : strongly resisting the urge to make this into a sex joke

👑princess mia👑 : that's progress

👑princess mia👑 : i'm proud of you

yoshua💕 : thanks baby

👑princess mia👑 : now come over

yoshua💕 : ugh

yoshua💕 : you're lucky i love you

👑princess mia👑 : the accuracy tho

yoshua💕 : ok see ya in 10





"if you were a transformer, you'd be a hot-obot, and your name would be optimis fine."

this is how josh greets mia when she opens the door.

"how do you even know all of these?" she asks with disbelief, shaking her head slowly. then again it is josh, so she's not really that surprised.

he shrugs his shoulders while kicking the door closed behind him and then wrapping his arms around her waist. his hands press into the small of her back. "i get bored and look stuff up."

mia nods her head. "makes sense."

"so are you gonna kiss me now, or what?"

"shut up," she grins, stepping up on her toes and cupping his cheeks before she presses her lips to his.

he sighs contently, because the best part of his day is when he gets to see mia and kiss her hello.

and then kiss her again. and then again after that. and a couple other times after that, too.

when he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against hers and keeps his eyes closed. god i'm so in love with this girl, he thinks to himself as he feels his heart pounding in his chest.

"hey baby?"

"yeah?"

"are you a magician? because abraca-DAYUM!"

mia groans. "josh."

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