Part 5: Professor
School was pretty depressing. All my classes felt like a drag. My teachers weren't the nicest either. Only Mr. Sawara showed any signs of kindness towards me. I felt detached to the world, and mostly in school.
I entered Mr. Sawara's class, and he smiles at me. "Good morning Yuki."
In a way, I was glad he was my first period class since I did enjoy his class most out of the others. He actually greeted me, and it made me happy.
"Morning." I said, and went to my seat. He follows me from behind.
"No one gave you problems this morning right?" He asked as he leans on the wall.
"Nope." I took out my homework.
"Good. Like I said, if they do, do not be scared to tell me."
"I will."
"No you won't." He chuckles.
"How did you know?"
"Because I wouldn't either. I guess men don't want to ask for help. It is in our nature."
He was right. I wanted to be manly, but I could never achieve that title. I guess I will always be a weakling in the end.
"Well you can talk to me if anything is on your mind. Got that?" He smiles.
"Sure."
"Smile more, and make friends kid." He walks away to his desk. I didn't know how to react. I hate smiling. I hate it.
Chisa walked in, and sat down next to me. She scoots over to give me a hug, and I instantly backed away. Her face shown she was offended. "Gee sorry. I enjoy hugging my friends. Maybe we should hang out more first." She smiles. "Sorry, I can be quite obnoxious when meeting new friends."
"It's okay. I am sorry for that. I've never gotten a hug before."
"Never?! What about your friends, and family?"
"Nope."
"Well I will give you tons of hugs when we get closer. Then we can be best friends." She giggles to herself.
A part of me felt hopeful since someone actually wants to befriend me in this class. This first period class was by far my favorite out of all my classes, period. The teacher is nice, and the girl next to me is friendly too. Maybe this school year will be slightly better than last year.
"Yuki, meet me after class." The teacher called out to me.
"Are you in trouble?" Chisa asked.
"I don't think so. I think it is about the past assignments."
"Oh right! If you need any help at all, please ask me."
"Thank you." I nodded.
"You should smile." She looks at me, and smiles wide. "Like me."
"Maybe." Why does everyone keep saying that?
"I will make you smile for sure." She pokes my face.
This girl is so playful. I have never met anyone like that before. All the girls I had spoken to were bitches. I smiled on the inside. I was kinda happy.
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When the class wrapped up, I approached Mr. Sawara's desk. He looked at me, and then the students. "Wait until they are gone." He says.
"Okay." I stood there awkwardly until the classroom was cleaned out of students.
"So Yuki, are you getting the material?" He stands up, and walks up in front of me.
"Yes...I am not good with science, but I have enough time to study, and learn it quickly." I looked down.
"Hey.." He lifts my chin up, and I smacked his hand away, and backed away.
"What are you doing?" I was a bit scared of him.
"Sorry, I just don't like seeing unhappy people." He smiles.
Was it weird that a teacher touched me that way? I mean it wasn't anything sexual, but I still felt violated.
"Okay...I don't..." I didn't know what to say.
His eyes fixated on me, and he forms a tiny smile. "You have a lot of potential you know that?"
"What do you mean?"
He walks closer to me, and places his hand on my shoulder. "You are a smart kid, but I see some agony in your eyes. Care to share?"
I pushed his hand away, and shook my head. "I am okay, thank you."
"Do you have a girlfriend?" He asked out of the blue.
"Yes." I lied.
"She would want a boyfriend that smiles more, and is more open to the world. Don't you think?"
"She likes me as I am." I felt my heart racing from lying. I hate to lie, but he's making me do it.
"I hope she takes care of you." He smiles."I wanted to give you this. It is a practice quiz with the answers. You can review the material so next time you will have an idea of how my quizzes are." He hands me the packet, and I quickly took it from his hand.
"Thanks." I turned to ready myself to dash out. I felt him grab my wrist.
"Take care of yourself Yuki." He chuckles, and lets go.
I ran out quickly before he could say any more to me.
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During lunch I sat by myself outside on the roof. There were a couple kids that sat up there as well. They were all in groups, and I was the only one by myself. I hate this feeling. I hate being alone, but at the same time I didn't know how to talk to people.
Mr. Sawara popped up in my head. Was he gay? It can not be. Even if he was, why would he want someone like me? There are tons of better looking people that aren't socially awkward.
"Well well well isn't it the fruit tart." The gang of thugs came.
I didn't say anything, and just looked up at them.
"Aw aren't you lonely eating lunch by yourself?" The leader grins.
"No, leave me alone." I decided to say.
"What was that?!" He slaps me hard across the face.
"Leave me alone!' I screamed.
A group of kids surrounded us, and the leader takes me by the collar, and swings his fist at my head. The impact made me dizzy, and I felt the gushing blood forming in my nose.
"Hey!" Someone said from afar. It was Mr. Sawara. "Let him go! I am reporting you for harassment!' He approaches us, and the leader lets go of me, and runs off.
"Thank you..." I wiped the blood from my nose, and felt ashamed of myself. Why did he have to see that? Why?
"Are you okay?" He genuinely looked concerned.
"I am."
"Let's go to the nurse's office, and get you some pain killers." He helps me up, and walks me to the nurse.
As we walked, I looked up at him. He was really tall. Maybe I was just really short. I was 5'6, and not proud of my short height. Looking at the professor, he must of been 6'1 or higher. I felt a sense of security walking alongside him.
We apprached the nurse's office, and no one was there. I was confused. I figured there will always be a nurse in the nurse's office.
"They are at lunch." Mr. Sawara said as if he could read my mind.
"Oh."
"Sit down." He points to a spare chair, and I went to sit myself.
He looks around the cabnets, and grabbed a couple pain killers, and filled up a cup of water for me. He goes over to me, and hands them to me. I graciously take them, and consume the pills quickly. The pain in my head was not subsiding fast enough for my liking.
"Did you need any bandages?" He asked.
"Nope, I am okay. Thank you again Mr. Sawara."
"You may call me Koji. Mr. Sawara sounds too formal." He laughs.
"Okay..."
"Did you always get picked on?" He asked.
I didn't know if I wanted to tell him or not. I have never told anyone of my abuse before, and this might be a problem telling him.
"No." I lied again. I couldn't stop lying around him.
"I won't judge you, you know that."
"I don't feel comfortable telling others about my life." I looked down at my hands, and fiddled with them.
"Even your girlfriend?"
How could I approach him with that lie? "Yes, even her." I said.
"I like you Yuki."
My chest froze for a second. Was he also considering himself as my friend? I looked up. "Thank you." I said.
"You need not to thank me." He smiles, and goes to sit on one of the spare beds. He pats the spare seat to his side. I went to sit down next to him, and of course, keeping a distance between us.
"Don't be afraid of me. I won't hurt you." He chuckles.
"I am not afraid. I am just not used to having people like me in general. I am fortunate that you, and Chisa like me."
"Is she your girlfriend?"
"No."
"I don't thi-"
"Professor, thank you for being my friend as well. I really appreciate it." I uttered out, interrupting him. "Sorry I cut you off." I looked down.
"It's okay." He laughs.
"I guess you can say I've had a hard life."
"How so?"
"Family doesn't like me, and my school life isn't all that. I don't think I am smart either."
He sighs. "I think you need motivation, and good friends to surround yourself with. Why don't we head back to my office. I can talk to you there instead."
"Alright." I watched as he stood up, and began walking out the infirmary. I followed him upstairs to his office which was located on the third floor.
We went into his office. It was neat like a psychiatrist's office. My eyes scanned the office. I saw plaques on the wall, and awards everywhere. He must be really smart. He points to the chair in front of his desk, and I went to sit myself down.
"I work as a psychiatrist as well. Can you tell?" He asked.
"I can assume that from what I've seen."
"That is why I tell you to talk to me when you need it."
"Thank you." I kept my eyes down.
"Do you have issues with eye contact by any chance?"
I didn't fight it, and said "yes I do."
"Well that is a huge step in growing up. It is rude to not look people in the eye. We should practice that."
"No thank you. I don't feel like I have the confidence to do that right now."
"Well it is a step by step process." He walks on over, and sits in the chair next to me.
"I know. Why do you even want to help me?"
"Because when I was younger, I was like you." His voice became gentle, and almost sad.
"You were?"
"Yes. I got picked on a lot, and my family didn't really support me in my choices in life. I began joining groups, and now I can't stop being social. Life sure is a strange element when you think about it. No one can make your future better other than yourself. That is why I suggest we start on small simple things."
His words were encouraging. I guess it wouldn't hurt to work on myself. I just didn't know how to approach it. I was very unlucky with being social, and not being a weird ass.
"I will try."
"Well let's try this." He lends out his hand. "Hello my name is Koji Sawara, and you are?"
I take his hand, and lightly shook it. "Yuki Kimoto...nice to meet you." I mummbled.
"Yuki Kimoto, you sure have dashing eyes."
"W-what?" I looked up at him for once, and our eyes met. I felt the most intensifying nervous feeling ever looking into someone's eyes. I couldn't move.
"Yuki Kimoto, you have lovely eyes." He smiles, and leans in, and presses his lips on mine.
To Be Continued