Troglodytic (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

Part 13: Job「Yuki」

Part 13: Job

I felt embarassed of myself. I wanted to drown myself because I saw the school's newspaper. Chisa texted me about it, and I was too scared to reply to her. What if she thinks I am gay, and disgusting? She won't want to be friends anymore. I felt my life was ending. I did not have the money to move to another area again. I wanted things to end.

Somehow I didn't die. Takahiro saved me. Why did he do that? I hate him. He wants to keep me around to make me suffer. I know it.

He embraced me that night. It calmed me a lot. I felt like I was stupid to even kill myself for that simple reason. I can fight through it. I hope I can.

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"Hey Yuki, I am going to a mixer. Feel free to eat whatever is in the fridge." Takahiro was fixing his hair, and getting ready to leave.

He said my name once again. The way he said it was so casual. It was kinda nice. It was weird hearing it from him. We never called each other by our names. I haven't even said his name once. "What is that?" I asked.

He laughs at me again. I felt bad every time he did. It made me feel stupid. "Well a mixer is basically a get-together of guys, and girls. We go to a club, and hook up."

"Hook up?"

"Like have sex or go on more dates." He snickers. "I am single now since I broke up with my girl. Now I can finally be free to have sex. It has been almost two years since I've done that."

"But why? You don't like them." I sounded stupid. Of course there was such a thing called meaningless sex.

"Well it feels great so why not. I don't want to be committed to anyone right now. Too exhausting." He puts on his jacket.

"I guess so. I kind of want to commit to someone. I want to feel that feeling." I looked down, and played with my hands.

"Then you should come to the mixer with me. There will be single girls." He smiles.

"But...your friends don't like me."

"Oh right. Well hopefully you have fun doing whatever at home. I can cancel if you want."

Why was he suggesting that for? Sometimes I feel he just feels sorry for me. The kindness made me upset at times. In the end he will only push me out the house.

"No it's okay."

"You should just come with me. It will be fun." He suggests again.

"No. I know what will happen. I don't want your friends to talk shit about me."

"Fine. I will see you later then?"

"Yeah, have fun."

"Bye." He grabs his keys, and left.

I am left in the apartment alone. I looked around the place. It was pretty clean since I always cleaned it when he is gone or sleeping. I went to his room which was pretty messy. I saw a bookshelf of books, and I went to pick one up. I happened to pick up a photo album. I decided to flip through some pictures. Of course it was mostly him, and his friends. Some photos had him with his family. It was a typical album. I saw a couple photographs of him, and his ex girlfriend. They looked happy together. I was jealous. I wish I had happiness like that. Maybe I am too picky.

I looked for more books on his shelf, but most of them were boxing books, and comic books. He did not have any legit educational books on his shelf. It figures, he didn't seem all that smart. I looked out the window. It was the afternoon. I felt a bit calmer now since I knew Koji is gone. The whole situation has made me paranoid, but maybe now I can finally roam around.