Brendon had just about given up on life completely that day, not even having said anything at all when Ryan inevitably made his way into his office, closed the door, of course, and sat down, getting out his cellphone and even taking a 'Mr Urie's office selfie' before turning to face the headteacher.
"What filter did you use?" Brendon asked with a concerningly genuine interest.
"Haven't uploaded it yet, ran out of data." Ryan explained with a sigh of disgust in regards to his mobile data first world problems.
"Do you want the wifi password?" Brendon asked, not having anticipated the look of extreme passion such a question put in Ryan's eyes. "Do you...?" He trailed off, looking at Ryan with an increasing level of concern.
"Yes!" Ryan exclaimed, his words emotional enough to be the response to a marriage proposal and not Mr Urie asking him if he wanted the school's wifi password... so he could upload a selfie to instagram.
Brendon hadn't had much sleep last night, to say the least.
"It's assassassass." Brendon leaned back in his chair, looking far too proud of himself, and well he had reason to be.
"Very secure." Ryan commented, smiling a little as he typed it into his phone, pressing remember this network, because this was very easily the most important piece of information he'd ever learned in his life.
"Well the ring of muscle in your asshole contracts quite strongly, so four lots of that would be very secure." Brendon giggled a little, "I told the tech guys its supposed to say as sass twice, and I mean they just set it automatically so these teachers are using a network that the password for is ass four times and they don't even know!" He exclaimed, "now okay, what filter are you going to go for?"
"Walden." Ryan watched as it uploaded, looking at his instagram feed and taking a moment to have an aesthetically pleased smirk.
"Do I get to see it?" Brendon asked, leaning over a little.
"My instagram? No, there needs to be one social network I can bitch about you on, come on. You know, keeping up appearances, because I'm not supposed to like you, you know? I mean, I have my dignity to keep in mind."
"Your dignity." Brendon scoffed at that, leaving Ryan in mock offense as he put his cellphone away.
"I didn't suck like six hundred dicks to get a job." Ryan retorted, grinning a little.
"Yeah, you didn't, you sucked six hundred dicks but you were so shit at it that you didn't get hired." Brendon laughed a little, shutting the lid of his laptop, just so he could get a better look at Ryan, in a totally teacherly way, like no homo at all.
"Wow, I'm not gonna suck your dick again if you thought it was that bad!" Ryan exclaimed, holding his hands up as he raised his eyebrows.
"You weren't bad," Brendon continued, a small smile on his lips, "if you were bad, I wouldn't have come, would I?"
"Point." Ryan nodded in agreement, "so yeah, maybe I'll suck your dick again."
Brendon blushed a little, "we need to talk about this stuff further," he got up from his chair, making his way over to Ryan, "maybe not in school though."
"Your office has a lock." Ryan added, smirking a little, "orgasms are a great way to relieve stress, therefore you'll be able to make a better decision about whether we should be doing this after I've sucked your dick."
"Ryan," Brendon let out a sigh, grabbing the seventeen year old's shoulder, "why are you doing this? Be honest. If you're doing it for any other reason than that you genuinely have feelings for me and that's it, then I can't... we shouldn't take advantage of each other."
"I like you, Brendon." Ryan admitted, his cheeks a little pink, "but don't you dare tell anyone, I have dignity, remember?" He laughed a little, locking the office door as Brendon perched on the edge of his desk, biting his lip a little.
"Don't let yourself be taken advantage of. Ever." Brendon spoke up, "like seriously, if you listen to one thing I say ever, then let it be that."
"I listen to everything you say." Brendon scoffed in response, "I just don't adhere to all of it. I mean like, don't smoke weed at school, hypocrite, don't go sucking guys dicks, hypocrite."
"I'm not the one doing the dicksucking anymore." He exclaimed, his tone perhaps a little too loud. "We shouldn't do this, I'm sorry, I-"
Ryan fell to his knees, pushing Brendon down into his chair, "you should suck my dick too, Brendon." He suggested, pulling the teacher's pants down. "What do you think?"
"Mmm..." Brendon nodded, not really in the position to think as Ryan took his cock into his mouth. "Fuck," he cursed a little, forever glad that his office had a lock, you could say he constantly thanked god for them. "You'd only have to suck one cock to get hired, you know, you're so much better than me."
Ryan pulled a few at that, a little amused, "how about I be the judge of that? You can suck my dick too, or would I be taking advantage of you?" He rolled his eyes, taking Brendon deeper into his mouth.
"Shut up." Brendon sighed a little, his breathing growing frantic as Ryan continued to do an excellent job of sucking his dick.
Brendon wondered just as to quite how he'd ended up in this situation, with Ryan Ross on his knees, with his cock in Ryan's mouth, and for no gain, for nothing other than the fact he wanted to, he wondered what the fuck went on in Ryan's head on a daily basis, and he did indeed wonder just how the guy had managed to talk him into this, but then again, it wasn't like Brendon was exactly the most resilient of people.
Not that any of that matter at all the very moment he was coming down Ryan's throat, and Ryan was spitting into the trashcan, laughing a little, nerves evident in his demeanor as he looked back up at Brendon.
"So," Brendon let out a sigh, "you want me to return the favour?"
"Well, really it's an excuse to sit in that chair of yours, like that looks really fucking comfy, you know-"
"Sure it does."
-
Frank didn't even think much of where he was storming out to, solely focused upon getting out of there, away from Gerard, away from Lindsey, and preferably before he started crying, because at this point, as he held his cellphone in shaking hands, the act of crying appeared somewhat inevitable.
And it wasn't like Frank was afraid of crying, crying at face value, that is, he was just afraid of what people would think, and by people, he meant Gerard, and he meant Lindsey.
Because he cared, fuck, he cared so much about Gerard in particular, and he didn't quite know how to cope, because fuck, there was no way around the fact that he'd have trouble trusting Gerard now, and he even began to wonder if Gerard had switched their phones on purpose, somehow planned this, and for what? What could he possibly gain out of fucking up Frank's life and disrespecting his privacy?
It was that that Frank couldn't quite figure out.
It was that that left Frank nervous, shaking a little as he made his way behind the building, sitting down with his back against the wall and beginning to sob as he pulled his knees up his chest, because fuck, why did it have to be like this?
Why did it always have to be like this?
Why could he not go one time without fucking everything up?
"Fuck," he cursed aloud, leaning back against the wall as he reached into his pocket for his cigarettes and a lighter, because if there was one quick solution Frank could think of to solve any problem, it was smoking, hey it wasn't the best for you, but well at least he wasn't a coke addict.
"Fuck," a second voice mimicked, causing Frank's head to snap up, focusing upon the figure making their way around the back of the building. "I climbed over the gate," he explained as he grew closer.
"I don't want to talk to you, Max." Frank snapped, suddenly getting to his feet, and almost stumbling as he did so. "I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want-"
"To go home?" Max offered, a sympathetic kind of look in his eyes. "Because that's what I want, Frankie, I just want you to come home."
"I don't want to do that." Frank was firm in his response, his hands, however, were shaking like hell.
"So you want to go back? To stay with Gerard? A guy you don't really know? Can you even trust him? He's so fucking up his own ass, I-"
"I trust him more than I trust you." Frank snapped before he could think, only half focused upon the events that had occurred just a few moments prior. "I want you to go."
"So what is this, Frank?" Max continued, his tone growing impatient, "when are you coming home? What the fuck do I have to do? I miss you, I love you, Frank, I can't fucking cope without you-"
"Don't say that!" Frank interjected, his eyes narrowing.
"What?"
"Don't fucking say that!" His tone grew louder, "that you can't cope without me, because that's fucking bullshit, if that was really true you'd value me a hell of a lot more than you do-"
"Don't you fucking say that!" Max retorted, "am I just this guy to you? A guy who made a mistake? A guy who tried to apologise, only for you to go back and throw that apology in my face? Am I just the villain to you? Don't play the fucking victim, Frank, we're just two guys, we're human, we... I have emotions and feelings in the same way you do, or is that too advanced for you to comprehend?"
"Yeah, it really is, Max, you know, when you're acting like this, like this asshole." Frank took a drag of his cigarette as he met his boyfriend's gaze, "it's hard to see you as human at all."
"Says a fucking lot about you, doesn't it, Frank?" Max snapped, grabbing Frank by the shoulder as he attempted to walk past him, "don't fucking try to run away from this, you can't just run away from this-"
"Don't fucking touch me!" Frank yelled, attempting to resist Max's grasp: stronger than he had expected, and struggled in doing so.
"Fuck-... Frank, I'm sorry, I've really fucked up, I... I love you, I'm sorry I'm going to stop yelling now, just please hear me out, will you?" Max's tone changed drastically, sighs audible amidst his words.
"Hear you out?" Frank exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief, "what the fuck could you possibly have to say to me?"
"I love you, Frank, does that not me anything? Give me a second chance, come on, please, I'm desperate, I know, I know I'm fucked up in the head and you knew that when you started dating me, didn't you?" Max exclaimed, his grip on Frank's arm loosening a little.
"Yeah..." Frank nodded, pulling away as he let out a sigh, "I knew that, I know that." He turned away, his head in his hands for a moment, attempting to make sense of everything, of anything.
"What can I do to make this better, because I am sorry, I just... I don't know what to do around you, Frank, I'm sorry, I just, the thought of you staying with him makes me angry, the thought of you with someone else, I love you." Max let out a sigh, his gaze falling to the floor.
"I know, I know, Max. Gerard's just a friend, of course, you know that, don't you? I would never cheat on you." And Frank meant every word, because it was indeed the truth, but even if it was the truth, it didn't mean he was one hundred percent satisfied with it. "I just, my head's a mess too, I need some time to think about things, you know?"
"And you need that time with him?" Max asked before he could stop himself.
Frank let out a sigh, shrugging, "I don't know, I don't know about him anymore, I don't know about anything, about anyone anymore."
"Where are you going to stay then?" Max rushed to ask, "I'm just... I get worried, I get so fucking worried about you."
"I know, and I'm not angry at you for being worried, Max, I just..." Frank let out a sigh, leaning back against the wall as he began to reassess his entire situation, "I really don't know what to do anymore."
"Frankie, please-"
"I need some space, I'll call you tonight, I promise, but please go, I need to teach in like fifteen minutes as well," he let out a sigh, "love you, Max," his words faltered a little, half-hearted: ones he didn't quite mean.
Max nodded, smiling, before making his way back out and over the gate.
And Frank just stood there in silence for a good five minutes: dumbstruck, a mess, and seriously fucking unable to teach right now, but still, he had to, and with such a lovely thought in mind, he made his way up to his classroom.
-
"Hey," Frank jumped a little as he closed the classroom door behind him, faced with an empty classroom besides the art teacher sat in his chair. "Your class are out on a trip," he began to explain, "I mean, I would be confused as to how you didn't know, but like, Brendon is in charge of this place, so-"
"Gerard, I..." Frank choked out, biting his lip furiously as he attempted not to breakdown again, because fuck, fuck, he was so fucking done with the entire fucking world right now. "Gerard, did you fucking switch our phones on purpose? Because you fucking want to invade my privacy and fuck things up with Max for me because that isn't helping!"
Gerard's eyes widened as he got to his feet, "of course not, Frank, I'd never do that, I swear to fucking God that we just happened to pick up the wrong ones. I didn't even look through your stuff, I swear, just that message on the screen, and I mean, fuck, I didn't want him to just charge into your class and-"
"And it's still not your business, Gerard. Max... Max is... I don't know, he's a bit... I don't know how to say it, but he's on medication for mental health, I don't want to like go into too much detail, but I know that and I knew that when he started dating me, so I should, I should respect that, he's still a person, just thinks a bit differently, and he's trying, he does try, of course he's trying, just sometimes, people lose it."
"Just because he's mentally ill doesn't mean you're obligated to be there for him and look after him." Gerard added, his tone growing a little snappier, "and still doesn't give him a fucking free pass to everything. He's still a person, like you and I."
"I know that, Gerard, of course I fucking know that, but I have to think about things differently, he's sorry, he's just worried about me, and he's my boyfriend, and I think if I were to break up with him, which is not something I'm considering, so don't get your fucking hopes up, then he'd get worse, he'd get really fucked up, and-"
"And that isn't your responsibility nor your fault!" Gerard stressed, stepping closer to Frank.
"I know, but still, I would care about his health even if we weren't together, and he really would do something fucking stupid, I-"
"You think he'd try to kill himself or something?" Gerard exclaimed, before letting out a sigh as he sat down again, leaving Frank to make his way over to him.
"I don't know, that's the fucking thing, I don't know what he's going to do, but it's not something I'd call impossible." Frank shook his head, biting his lip, "fuck, I shouldn't be talking to you about this, it's fucking private to him, and you make no attempt to understand him as a human being, you're just so fucking insistent that I break up with him, come on, Gerard, just this fucking once, get out your own fucking ass and admit it, you don't understand!"
Gerard let out a sigh, biting his bottom lip as he pulled his gaze up to meet Frank's. His head began to ache a little as he found himself thrown back ten years or so, back to when he was younger, and perhaps in that moment, Gerard wished that Frank could have been right, and he couldn't have understood.
"I tried to kill myself five times between the ages of seventeen and nineteen." He spoke without thinking, his gaze fixated elsewhere, "and Mikey, he's three years younger than me, he was fourteen the first time he found me fucked out on pills, so many fucking pills and he had to sort that shit himself call 911, fuck, because mum and dad were out at some wedding, and they'd been like Gerard, we can trust you to look after your brother now, fuck that, fucking fuck that. No one should have to be in that situation."
"Fuck-" Frank stammered out, pulling Gerard into his arms and holding him tight, "fuck, fuck, fuck, Gerard, fuck-"
"I'm okay now, Frank, I promise, I'm fine, I... I just know how draining it is to have your whole life revolving around a person in a state like I was in-"
"I love him, Gerard, and Mikey loves you, you don't fucking care how draining it is, because that person dying or hurting themself is the worst fucking thing you can imagine!" Frank exclaimed, his arms still wrapped around Gerard, holding on tight, holding on perhaps for life.
"If you understand that, can you maybe understand why letting you go back to him and running the risk of him hurting you again is the worst fucking thing I can imagine."
"No, I can't, Gerard," Frank let out a sigh, pulling away, "it's not the same, for a start, you don't love me, and secondly Max isn't going to hurt me again."
Gerard let out a sigh, because if by some miracle, Frank wasn't wrong about the latter of the two things, there would however still be no doubt that he was wrong about the former, in Gerard's mind, at least.
-
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