Author's note: //timid wave. H-helloooo everyone. Here is a quick, short one shot to tie you guys over until I find more inspiration. Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Moving, working...the whole schebang. Writing is a bit rusty, maybe even mildly rushed, since I haven't written in a while. I really apologize. But I still love seeing comments and stats going up. Love you guys!
Enjoy. (also, this one has a lot of cussing and Levi is mildly out of character. I sowwy. Oh and slightly dirty but not a lemon or anything) I'll get updates up for World's Apart, The Lyricist, The Phantoms and Angels, and maybe Scout Design up soon enough.
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Downtime in the Survey Corps was hard to come by, if not simply unheard of. Given the recent Titan activity in the last few years, giving any time off to relax was almost out of the question. However, Commander Erwin seemed to feel the majority of his branch of the military deserved time to unwind. At least, for a day. Otherwise, the general morale of the Scouts would wane and no one would have the courage or strength to keep fighting against the monsters.
And so, you planned to enjoy every second of your day off and relax.
You couldn't remember the last time you and your boyfriend of six months, Lance Corporal Levi, were able to sit in comfortable silence without having work to interrupt your thoughts, or worse, Hanji come barging in at the most inopportune moments. Levi was never pleased to be left with "blue balls" while the slightly deranged and completely oblivious woman went on her Titan rants.
The thought made you smirk.
Currently, you were curled up on the armchair inside his private quarters, reading a book you've meant to catch up on for months while Levi was cleaning said room. Again. For the third time this week. Anytime you two had sex, the next morning sparked a huge cleaning frenzy.
It was highly comical to you but you never said anything about it. If you did, you were sure you'd be sentenced to the cleaning. You had heard once before that there were nine circles of Hell, and to name a few were lust, anger, treachery, and gluttony. You, however, were damn sure that in reality, there was a tenth circle and it was in fact what you would call "Levi's cleaning hell." You would do everything in your power to avoid this circle and truthfully, you'd rather go out and face a few titans than to have to deal with Levi voicing his disappointment or outright disdain for your skills with a broom.
About and hour and half into his spree, Levi began making exaggerated sighs and grunts and every time, you had to hold back your amusement. Levi was clearly unsatisfied with the appearance of his room, which you could not figure out what that was for the life of you. It was spotless; it would pass a white glove inspection at any given point but that was not enough for Levi.
His groans were becoming so frequent now that you were having a hard time concentrating on your book and were more interested in sneaking glances at him in an effort to see what he was so frustrated about. You had no such luck. He was just being his typical OCD self.
"You're such a brat," he snapped finally while turning to give a you a harsh gaze. You looked up from the same line you've read six times now and held a confused expression.
"Pay attention to me, dammit."
There was a moment of silence before you chuckled briefly. Behind closed doors, and away from any public eye, Levi was surprisingly quite needy in regards to affection. When you initially began dating, you had no idea he would require so much attention to keep him satisfied, be it sexually or otherwise. Initially, you had felt he would have been actually very cold and apathetic about the relationship but after two months, Levi became very territorial and almost high maintenance, in some ways.
It didn't bother you, of course. You quite liked that he pestered you about giving you attention.
"You seemed content with cleaning," you replied breezily, closing your book. "I didn't want to bother you while you were in that...'zone.'"
He grimaced and pulled off the white cloth over his hair he wore when cleaning. Personally, he thought you just were being too lazy to help him but in reality, you knew if you helped, it would have been a disaster. It was best to leave him alone with his beloved sponge and dust cloth.
"Content, my ass," he hissed. "You're ignoring me."
You stood up to approach him. "Whiny today, aren't you?"
You couldn't help but tease him but he did not take kindly to that. Then again, he never did but it didn't stop you from engaging in playful banter. After all, that's who you were and that was not going to change. The moment you were near enough to him, he gripped your wrist and pulled you into a rough embrace.
"You're so annoying. What the fuck are you reading? It could not have possibly been that engaging..." he growled into your hair and you laughed. "Make me tea to make up for ignoring me."
You kissed his neck lightly and moved your lips towards his ear, attempting to be a little sensual. Levi relaxed from your touch, anticipation growing slowly. Dropping your voice to a seductive whisper, you said, "make your own damn tea, corporal. I'm not your slave..."
You licked his earlobe playfully and returned to your armchair. Levi remained rooted to the spot, unable to react for a moment.
"Fuckin' brat." Although his tone was aggravated, there was an unmistakable smirk at his lips.
You blew him a kiss and resumed reading.
You were the one person, aside from Erwin and Hanji, that was truly unafraid of him. You challenged him in words constantly, keeping him on his toes and rarely ever let him get away with ordering you around as if you were still a cadet, at least when alone. Of course, any time you were on duty, he was still your superior, and therefore you had to listen to his orders, but even then, you'd still manage to find a politically correct way to back sass him. That's what he loved about you the most. You were strong, independent, and aware of your worth. You didn't let him define you, but you cared for him in your own ways.
You were your own person, with a lot to offer. You added a lot to his life and never were a burden. Being with you was easy; sometimes incredibly annoying but still very easy. You taught him just what it meant to care for someone again.
"What are you even reading?" he sighed some ten minutes later, expertly brewing his tea.
You smiled to yourself. "A romance novel."
Levi snorted at this, making no effort to hide the roll of his eyes. "You're reading horse shit, you mean."
"I am not!" you replied quickly. "Currently the main character is reminiscing on her sexual encounters with her past interests. She misses her ex."
You said it so matter-of-factly that Levi's lips formed the slightest smile. In truth, he loved that you enjoyed reading, despite it being basically trash in his eyes. Nothing brought greater joy to him than seeing you curled up in his chair with an idiotic grin on your face because of a book.
Levi sat down on the other armchair near the window, teacup in hand before gazing at you. "Well, she should do something about missing her ex then instead of wallowing in self pity. Either get over it or tell him she wants his dick but don't cry over it."
The book came flying from your hands and Levi easily maneuvered his head to dodge the object. "You always ruin my books for me," you said in faux anger. You threw the book out of playfulness, knowing full well, despite him holding his tea, that it wouldn't hit him.
Levi shrugged indifferently. "I'm just speaking plainly. Does she sincerely miss her ex? Or does she just miss the way his body felt?" he asked, gazing off into the bookshelf. "Which is not to say, either one is correct or right, however. I don't have a lot of context but from what you just said, it sounds to me that she just misses the sex with him, which again, is not necessarily a bad thing."
"Pfft." You couldn't help the noise that escaped your lips at his interesting take on a simple book. Normally, he would not have had any such input on the "trash" you read so you found it amusing that he was engaging in it.
There was a moment of silence between you two. Levi was gazing at something indistinctly; his eyes held a far-away look while you were wondering vaguely whether or not to pick up your book you threw.
"Have you ever felt that way?" he said abruptly, turning a hard stare to you.
You raised an eyebrow curiously. "What? Missing an ex for his sexual abilities...?" you clarified.
He made a noise to confirm your statement as he sipped his tea which caused you to give him a wary look. You did not like where this line of questioning was leading; because he was so territorial, even though your answer was "no," you had a feeling he would react negatively. It's not that Levi was out of hand or even possessive, but he just didn't like the idea that you had been with others sexually prior to him. And who would like that? It's one thing to be accepting over someone's past, but it didn't mean you had to like it.
"Not at all," you replied. "I never really missed any of my exes, honestly. I mean sure, it sucked right after we split...or he died, but...in the end, I wasn't really that attached to them. Besides, my sex life with you is incomparable to anything before. I literally have the best of the best."
He snorted at this but he appeared to believe you. "Oh yeah...? Who is second then?"
You hesitated to answer. "Why are we talking about this?" you asked, trying to divert the subject.
Levi smirked. "I was just curious as to what you would say. If you and I haven't had met, who would have been first?"
You heaved a defeated sigh and averted your eyes away; there was no way you were going to get out of answering this question. This was Levi. He would not let you off the hook so you knew you should just answer now.
"Eren..." You internally cringed, mildly embarrassed to admitting this fact.
Levi didn't even react like you thought he would; instead of being angered or astonished, he just rolled his eyes indignantly.
"You have got to be shitting me..." he sighed. "Why? Does that little ass wipe have a titan dick or something?"
"Oh my god," you cried, throwing up your arms. You successfully held back your laughter at the phrase "titan dick" because you knew Levi did not mean it to amuse you. "I'm not giving you details, Levi. And anyways, we didn't even date. We just...fucked a couple times. You know, because I had needs, he's a guy so he has needs so we just decided that-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," cut in Levi over you, throwing you a very dark glance. "I don't need to hear about how the fucking titan boy nailed you. I'd rather bathe in a sludge pit than have to visualize my girl having sex with someone else."
You felt your lips curl into a smile at "my girl." You weren't sure why it made you so happy but there was no denying your heart fluttering.
"Well, your dumb ass asked me, so I don't know what to tell you," you teased. He tossed you another scary look before rising from his chair. As he made his way over to the sink to wash his cup, you posed your own question.
"You know," you began to say, "you've never really talked about your exes before. You're always asking me about mine but I've never heard you say anything about yours. Why is that?"
Levi's gaze snapped up. You couldn't be sure, but you thought you saw him smirk at you for a moment but it was gone before you were positive.
"You sure you want to venture down this road?" he asked, as if warning you. He came back to the main living area and picked up his cleaning supplies to put them away.
His statement just made you all the more curious about why he has never mentioned any other girl before you. You knew he must have been with at least a few people, based off his sexual prowess. You just couldn't imagine he learned how to use his tongue the way he does on his own.
"You're asking me questions, so it's only fair if I ask one myself," you replied confidently. "I just wanted to know about your exes..."
"Never had one," he said blandly, and for some strange reason, your heart clenched painfully and you didn't know why. "You never asked prior to now, so I never said anything. I figured you just didn't want to know."
Your eyes followed him as he put away the supplies. "Well, I do," you said, surprised with how drastically your tone changed from genuine curiosity to mild irritation. Levi noticed this but did not speak of it. His mentality on this subject was simply "don't say anything unless asked about it." And now you were asking, so he felt it was an obligation to open up about his past.
"I see," Levi replied, not making eye contact. "Like I said, I've never had an ex because I've never had a girlfriend until you came along."
"Then how..." you trailed off, unsure if you were ready to hear the answer.
"Fucked a lot of women, (f/n)." He said it so bluntly that you felt like you had been punched straight in the chest; your heart ached upon this revelation and your mind began to race down a path you didn't want to be on. "Grew up in the underground...wasn't much of an environment for relationships anyways. Surviving was the only thing I was focused on."
You turned your eyes away from him now that he was looking at you; you stared down at the book on the floor, trying to discern just what you were feeling all of a sudden. It was like a burn in your stomach, a boiling you couldn't quell the more he spoke.
"...and in the corps?" you said, forcing yourself to sound completely unfazed.
Again, you thought you saw him smirk. "It's not hard to get around," he replied nonchalantly. "I stuck with some longer than others, either because they died or I just got bored."
You were not really enjoying the conversation in any way at this point, but Levi seemed bent on talking still. It was like you opened up Pandora's Box and now he was spilling his guts. You thought this would have been easy to hear, but it strangely wasn't. It was making you really angry, and not even necessarily at him, but this irrepressible desire to hit something was starting to get the better of you.
"I think the longest time I went with one girl was probably with Ral," continued Levi, perfectly aware of your growing agitation. "Maybe about eight months or so. But she started getting on my nerves because she started pestering me about being my girlfriend., which I did not want."
By now, your rage was barely containable and you had remained silent on the news that he had been sleeping with Petra regularly. You could not stop your mind from visualizing him and her in his bed together, the same bed you both shared now. All you could think about was how, at one point, his unclothed body was on hers...that at one point, he had his lips at her breasts, between her legs, at her lips and she had once pleasured him with her own mouth. He once use to pull her hair and her hands use to run over his bare skin. They once shared kisses...they once use to moan each others' names from the depths of darkened nights, pant and scream for more.
She once use to feel him inside her just like you did now...she use to know what it was like to reach a point of no return, pure and animalistic bliss; sweat dripping, toes curled, beautiful release given to her by Levi...just like you feel now...
And every cursed image you held in your mind's eye made you sick to your stomach and so angry you could barely breathe. Levi was watching you process his words but he didn't seem to care that you were at your breaking point and barreled on.
"There was this one time she came to me crying about how she thought she was pregnant," he said, sounding annoyed for the first time. "Claimed she was showing all the symptoms. I'll admit, I thought she was too, as I was always expecting it to happen at some point in my life. I remember telling myself long ago that I may as well just marry the first girl I get pregnant, because it's not like I would actually find a woman I loved."
He let out a small bark of a laugh while thinking back. "I really thought she was, and I was pissed because I could not imagine myself tied down to a girl like that for the rest of my life," he continued, his gaze still far off. "But once she got her period...I called it quits with her. She might have been annoying, but she was the best lay prior to-"
Levi abruptly stopped speaking when your hand slapped him right across the face. A moment of anger flashed in his eyes, but somehow, he wasn't surprised that you had hit him.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Levi!?" you shouted, all of your pent up anger exploding from within. "You almost got her pregnant!? You're fucking joking. Oh my god. ...oh my god. You fucking asshole. You...are so stupid. Absolutely stupid. I can't believe you. God!"
And finally...the smirk appeared and remained. "What?" he asked, toying with you. "Are you angry?"
"Of course I'm angry!" you snapped, outraged at the question. "You think listening to you talk about how you fucked all sorts of women sits well with me!? At least I wasn't exactly thrilled to tell you I slept with Eren but you're just going on and on and on about Petra fucking Ral, and how you almost got her pregnant, you piece of shit."
Levi reached out to grab your upper arm but you brushed him off roughly. "Don't touch me!" you blurted out. "How many!?"
"I...don't know," he replied, making no effort to hide his growing smile. You, however, did not like the look he was giving you and felt more anger burst inside you.
"What the fuck you smiling about, you shit? Ugh!"
Despite your frustration with him, Levi found your incoherent outburst rather endearing in a way. It was rare to see you get this territorial over him; he hadn't really meant anything to rile you up but the more he spoke, the more he realized how much you cared for him.
Even if it was at the expense of your feelings.
Normally, he knew he would be annoyed with your reaction to his past, and furious that you slapped him, but he was surprised how little he cared that you were angry with him. Of course, he wanted to still your anxiety and not argue, but he felt as though he was falling deeper in love with you as you raged on about how there could be dozens of little Levis running around in the world. Even your insults were cute to him, and more than anything, and for the first time in his life, he half wished that he could take all of it back if it would make you happy.
"(F/n)," said Levi finally, while you still were yelling at him. By now, you had taken to pacing the room, shooting scathing remarks at him.
You didn't hear him the first time so he called your name once more, but to no avail. "Unbelievable," you were saying, now more to yourself. "ALL THOSE GIRLS!? HONESTLY. UGH I CAN'T...."
"Will you just shut up and listen to me?" Levi growled, causing you to freeze on the spot. You rounded a death glare at him, but he remained expressionless and undeterred.
"Don't you fucking tell me to shut up, you asshole," you said, tone dropping down as if challenging him. "I swear to god, I will fucking kill you."
Levi shook his head, amused before approaching you. "I'm sure you will," he replied breezily, further angering you. "But regardless of my past, it doesn't change anything right now."
"I don't want to hear this," you interrupted quickly, waving a hand dismissively. "Save it."
"Just shut up," Levi repeated, jerking your chin with his fingers to face him. The look you gave him could stop anyone in their tracks, save for himself. "I love you.... Things are different now. I am not the same man I once was and I never loved anyone before you, especially Ral."
You promptly tried extricate yourself from his grip upon hearing her name but Levi would not allow it.
"I am speaking truthfully," he assured you but you rolled your eyes. "You think I don't know what you're feeling right now...it's the same when you admit to have slept with titan dick."
You burst out laughing in spite of yourself, merely for the fact that he still was calling Eren that. In reality, of course you weren't angry specifically with Levi, but your jealousy brought out a weird side of you that you've never really felt before. It made you want to stab Petra, punch Levi, and cry all at the same time.
Emotions were a strange thing.
You met Levi's gaze and though he held an impassive expression, his eyes were honest and bright. It was quiet as you tried to figure out what to say or even if you should say anything at all. "I fucking hate you," you groaned, pounding your fist on his chest. Levi gripped your hand and held it to his chest and used his other one to cup your cheek lightly.
"I know," he said. He closed the gap between you and kissed you. It wasn't a deep passionate kiss, but it wasn't a light peck either. It was a kiss that really conveyed his love for you.
Once he pulled away, he gave you a wry smile. "On another note," he added, "no woman will ever compare to you in regards to giving head. You, by far, have the best pair of lips-"
"O-okaaaay!" you shouted over him, a little embarrassed that he was saying brazen things again. "That's a lovely compliment but...not necessary."
"While we're on that topic..." Levi swept you up with ease into princess carry. "I'd like to smooth things over with make-up sex. Besides, you yelling at me made me strangely horny."
You playfully scoffed as he led you to his bed. "You would say that..." you replied.
Levi laid you across the sheets and immediately kissed your lips eagerly while climbing to hover over you on all fours. "Well, I haven't heard any objections yet," he said after a few minutes of your heated exchange, moving to kiss your neck. Already you were a bit dizzy and aroused from the way his lips kept moving lower to your chest.
You reply was breathless as Levi was effortlessly unbuttoning your shirt with one hand, leaving a trail of kisses as he went. "You weren't going to get one."
He cast open your shirt, eyes dancing over your bare chest before he leaned over to your ear.
"You're mine tonight."