SALVATORE SCHOOL-ALARIC'S OFFICE-DAY
[Alaric is laying on couch and talking to Emma.]
Alaric: Vampires, werewolves, dragons. I mean, I have faced... terrifying danger in my life. But there's only one day in my calendar marked with a black "X." One day I... fear above all others. Because if I have to hear somebody sing how many minutes there are in a year... one more time... I'm gonna throw myself to the unicorn.
Audrey rolls her eyes at Alaric's complaining.
Emma: (laughs) So why don't you play hooky with me?
Alaric: (Laughs) What?
Emma: The latest creature is harmless, your daughters are playing nice, and no one... is paying attention to school. So give yourself the day off.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-WOODS-DAY
[Unicorn is eating. Dorian is talking to it.]
Dorian: Look at you. Eating hay. Acting all innocent. You might have fooled everybody else, but I got my eye on you, okay? Yeah. That's right. [Slug crawls up Dorian's leg.]
"He is getting infected, too?" Asked Hayley.
Dorian: "It's a unicorn, Dorian. Don't hurt the unicorn." Unicorn.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-DAY
Lizzie: And a five, six, seven, eight.
[Music starts and witches start dancing. They keep messing up and accidentaly hitting each other. Lizzie stops them.]
Lizzie: Looks like we haven't been practicing. And some of your outfits must have shrunk. Or maybe there were just too many late-night visits to the ca... [Electro shock hits Lizzie from her bracelet.]
Lizzie: But it's fine. We'll adjust.
Caroline smiles at how hard Lizzie tries.
Lizzie: From the top. Josie? Where is Josie? [Josie comes in smiling and holding milkshake.]
Josie: (Exhales) Oh. (Gasps) Am I late?
Lizzie: Where are the canes?
Josie: (smiling) I don't know. I actually went to go find them, right? But then I was thinking, I don't feel like stressing about it.
Lizzie: Y-You didn't want...? Okay. That's fine. Why don't you just take your usual place?
Caroline again looks proud of Lizzie, so does Stefan.
Josie: Ah, about that. I was actually thinking, I really don't feel like being in the back row.
Lizzie: Uh, well, I know you haven't been practicing. But if you want to be in the front, you...
Josie: I mean, I just think we should scrap that lame routine, right? Do something totally different. It'd be super fun, right? And without the canes. It'd be fun. [Josie laughs.]
Lizzie: But, my beloved sister, this is the routine we do every year. Because we win. Every year.
"Because you are headmaster's daughter. Every year." Rolled her eyes Audrey.
Josie: I think I should sing a new song.
[Lizzie forcesa laugh.]
Josie: And then everybody can contribute some choreography, and it can be like a real... collaboration, hmm. Doesn't that just sound... nice? [Josie hugs Lizzie.]
SALVATORE SCHOOL-MUSIC ROOM-DAY
[Jed enters the room and sees Audrey writing in her journal.]
Jed: (smiling) Here you are! I have been looking for you everywhere.
Audrey: (smiling) Why would that be?
"Don't you have classes?" Asked Elijah.
"In my defence, i'm under influence." Said Audrey.
Jed: I don't know how to plan talent show. I thought you could help.
Audrey: I would, but i'm working on song for me and Hope. Oh, wait. You could use the song i helped you write to process your feelings about your shitty father.
"Emma gave him a task to do something to express his feelings. So i helped." Said Audrey.
Jed: Parents?
Audrey: (smiling) Yep. You put your heart into writing the lyrics, i might have helped to make it sound better, but it is your song.
"Now i'm curious about it." Said Davina.
Jed: It won't have pack theme we usually use.
Audrey: Maybe, but i don't think they would mind.
Jed: (smiling) You are right. Thank you. I love you. [Jed hugs Audrey. Audrey hugs back.]
Audrey: I love you, too.
SALVATORE'S SCHOOL-GYM-DAY
[The pack finishes dancing. Lela lays down on floor, looking exhausted. Slug crawls up in her ear.]
"It's still disgusting." Said Audrey. Everyone agreed.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-LIBRARY-DAY
[Everyone is laughing and playing around. Kaleb is sitting at table and sleeping. Slug crawls up in his ear and Kaleb wakes up.]
MG: All right, y'all. All right, hold on. I'm thinking maybe we could compel people to do stupid human tricks.
[Everyone boos and throws paper at him.]
"Really, MG?" Said Hope with deadpanned look.
MG: Okay, all right. Hold on. Is anyone up for stand-up comedy? Huh? [Everyone boos again.]
MG: Yeah? No. Okay. All right. Y'all don't want to do anything fun. (Scoffs) Man, this whole thing is a total waste of time.
Kaleb: Well, I guess we could just boycott the whole show. MG, we should be using this time to take a stand. Right? I mean, come on. (Smiles) Like, we-we should... We should... Uh, we should... We-we should sing. We should sing. We shou... ♪ We should sing ♪ ♪ That'll show 'em. ♪ [People cheer and apploude.]
Kaleb: Right? Huh? No, thank... Okay, okay. All right, you, get me a piano. MG, we're gonna need a spotlight. Everyone else, line up. I need to see how high you can kick.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-KITCHEN-DAY
[Lela and Rafael check cake.]
Lela: If it's gooey, then it's not done.
Rafael: Why did you bring me here again?
Lela: (smiling) Because everyone else is busy except you and it's more fun when you bake with friends.
"She really loves her cooking." Said Hope fondly.
Lela: The only thing... that would make this day better is if we went and got rid of that urn.
"Slugs can do it? Mind-control?" Asked Freya.
"Yes." Answered her nieces.
Rafael: I don't think it's good idea to throw away the object that Malivore creatures trying to get.
Lela: It'll be fun. It'll be friend road trip. We'll just grab the damn thing and take it wherever it leads us.
Rafael: From what that Necromancer said, Malivore is where that leads us, and we have no idea where that is. Are you feeling okay?
Lela: We can talk about it on the road.
Rafael: I... [Rafael notices the cake burning.]
Rafael: The cake. [Lela tries to turn it off and electricity hits her. Slug comes out of her ear and falls on table in front of her.]
"It's not bad idea. They could just use electricity to get them out of slugs control." Said Kol.
Lela: Oh... Oh, my God! What is that?
[Lela and Rafael look at slug.]
SALVATORE SCHOOL-CORRIDOR-DAY
[Rafael and Lela are rushing to the exit. They meet Landon.]
Landon: Hey! Did something happen?
Rafael: Aren't you supposed to be with Hope?
Landon: Audrey kicked me out from their practice.
"He was distracting Hope." Defended Audrey.
Lela: We don't have time for this. Come on! [Rafael and Landon follow her.]
SALVATORE SCHOOL-WOODS-DAY
[Rafael, Landon and Lela approach.]
Lela: Mr. Williams, we need your help. Dr. Saltzman's been MIA, and this creepy slug came out of my ear. [Dorian turns around and shows them jar with killed slug.]
Dorian: Did it look like this?
Rafael: Yeah, exactly like that.
Dorian: This one tried getting into me.
"So he caught him." Said Maecel.
Dorian: I was hoping it was the only one. I think our harmless friend the unicorn brought it onto school grounds to infect all of us. [Unicorn stands up on two leds, makes a noise and falls.]
"Poor unicorn." Frowned Caroline.
Landon: See? Harmless.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-HALL-NIGHT
[Hope and Audrey are wearing:]
"We look so hot." Said Audrey.
"We do." Agreed Hope.
[Hope and Audrey start singing and dancing. They are dancing like this:]
[They are singing Audrey's (In reality, Migos, Karol G, Snoop Dogg & Rock Mafia's) song "My Family".]
Audrey&Hope: Family, family (Family)
I go to war with my family
Ups and downs (Up)
Wrong or right, that's family (Yeah, hey)
"I like this song." Said Elijah.
"Of course you do." Snorted Audrey and Klaus.
Audrey&Hope: They think that we crazy (Crazy)
They say that we crazy, can't handle it (Crazy, yeah)
My back on the wall (Back)
Who I'ma call? My family
[People start clapping for them.]
Audrey: We different (Woo), we stick out (Stick out)
Wig out (Wig out), bug out (Hey)
Hop out, hop out (Go)
Ball out (Hey), show out
Hope: Aight, this a party
Let's not make a problem (No)
Why you lookin' at me like you're startin' somethin'?
You should know, it's not just me that you be rubbin'
(The wrong way, so you better think twice)
Audrey&Hope: You shouldn't mess with me
You don't wanna mess with me
'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family
"Good song and even better performance. I have very talanted girls, don't i?" Said Hayley to Hope and Audrey. They smiled to her.
"Thanks, mom." Said Hope and Audrey.
Audrey&Hope: (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
You shouldn't mess with me
You don't wanna mess with me (No)
'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family
[People cheer and applause.]
Audrey: Ay-ay-ya-yay
You might think that we are all loco
"Loco?" Asked Stefan.
"Crazy." Said Audrey.
Audrey: Ay-ay-yay (Don't mess with my family)
But this family 'bout to go global
(We blowin' up)
En mi familia si hay problema' no jugamos
Y si hay party hasta mañana celebramos
Si te dicen que estamo' loco', loco' estamos
"Cool." Said Kol.
Audrey: Y en las buenas y en las malas nos quedamos
No traicionamos (Don't mess with my family)
[People continue applauding.]
Hope: Aight, this a party
Let's not make a problem (Ay, no)
Why you lookin' at me like there's somethin' up?
You should know, it's not just me that you be rubbin'
(The wrong way, so you better think twice)
Audrey&Hope: You shouldn't mess with me
You don't wanna mess with me
'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
You shouldn't mess with me
You don't wanna mess with me
'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
You messin' with my family
(La Familia)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Don't mess with my family (No)
"This song sounds like Mikaelson family theme." Said Caroline.
"Thank you, Ms. Forbes. That's what i was aiming for." Said Audrey.
Hope: Ay-ay-ya-yay
You might think that we are all loco
Ay-ay-yay
But this family 'bout to go global
Audrey: They say that we mean
They say that we rude (Rude)
They say we got problems (Problems)
But we say it's cool
Audrey&Hope: Family, family
I go to war with my family
Ups and downs
But wrong or right, that's family
Hope: Ay-ay-ya-yay
You might think that we are all loco
(Don't mess with my family)
Audrey: Ay-ay-yay
But this family 'bout to go global.
Mikaelsons, Stefan and Caroline clap for them.
"That was wonderful. The song, the dance, outfits, everything. It was perfect." Said Freya.
"Thanks." Said Audrey and Hope.
[People cheer and apploude. Audrey and Hope give them a bow and get off the stage smiling. Jed walks up to them.]
Jed: It was awesome! You two were amazing and this song was briliant. Everything about it screamed Mikaelson.
Hope&Audrey: Thank you.
Audrey: Did you take video like i asked?
Jed: Of course. I sent it to you already.
Audrey: Thank you and good luck.
Jed: Well, Lela messaged she wasn't gonna participate anymore, (smiling) but we are gonna fix it. [Jed walks away. Audrey takes out her phone. Hope peers in.]
Hope: What are you doing?
Audrey: Sending video in Mikaelson group chat.
Mikaelsons smiled.
[After Audrey send it, they look up and see wolves have already started dancing and Jed is singing his song (In reality, YUNGBLUD's) "Parents".]
Jed: Blah!
I was born in a messed up century
My favourite flavoured sweets are raspberry amphetamines
I bought a car, Beretta aged fifteen
I brush my teeth with bleach 'cause I ain't got time for cavities
My daddy put a gun to my head, said if you kiss a boy I'm gonna shoot you dead
So I tied him up with gaffer tape
And I locked him in a shed
Then I went out to the garden
And I fucked my best friend
Some laugh.
Audrey&Hope: (cheering) Go, Jed!
[People cheer with them.]
Jed: cause my
High hopes are getting low because these people are so old
The way they think about it all
If I tried I would never know
My high hopes are getting low
But I know I'll never be alone
It's alright, we'll survive, cause parents ain't always right
Drop a toaster in my bath watch my mum and dad laugh
See a thousand volts go through the son they wish they never had
Mikaelsons glare, already having accepted Jed in family and feel protective of him.
[People are dancing, cheering and applouding.]
Jed: They told me casual affection leads to sexual infection
But it's hard to get an erection when you're so used to rejection
Yeah the teacher fucked the preacher
But then he had to leave her
Had to wash away the sins
Of a male cheerleader
Hi, nice to meet ya, got nothing to believe in
So let me know when my breathing stops
Cause my
High hopes are getting low because these people are so old
The way they think about it all
If I tried I would never know
My high hopes are getting low
But I know I'll never be alone
It's alright, we'll survive, cause parents ain't always right
[People continue dancing, clapping and cheering.]
"It's really good song." Said Davina.
"It is." Agreed Audrey.
Jed: Tick, tock, stop the clock
Because I get the feeling that I'm gonna get shot
Tick, tock, stop the clock
Because I get the feeling that I'm gonna get shot
My high hopes are getting low because these people are so old
The way they think about it all
If I tried I would never know
High hopes are getting low
But I know I'll never be alone
It's alright, we'll survive, cause parents ain't always right.
[Everyone claps for them and cheers.]
Audrey: (cheers) That's my unbiological brother, bitches!
People chuckle at Audrey.
"You haven't changed that much." Chuckled Hope.
"I'm fun person unlike some." Said Audrey, giving Hope a look.
"Fuck you." Said Hope.
"No, thanks." Said Audrey.
SALVATORE SCHOOL- DRESSING ROOM-NIGHT
[Lizzie is talking to Josie.]
Lizzie: It is not a showstopping finale cane number without canes, so find them. And get dressed. Please. [Lizzie leaves. Josie approaches Penelope.]
Josie: Hey.
Penelope: I thought you were avoiding me.
"Penelope looks so sad. She has been like this whole episode. Did something happen?" Asked Davina. Hope and Audrey don't answer.
Josie: I was. I mean, I am.
Penelope: You're not doing a very good job.
Josie: Maybe I'm sick of always doing a good job. Do you want to get out of here?
"No. Why her?" Said Caroline.
SALVATORE SCHOOL-LIBRARY -NIGHT
[Landon, Dorian, Lela and Rafael are researching in books.]
Dorian: Okay, we have no idea how long the unicorn was infected before it keeled over, so we should figure this out right now.
Landon: I thought only one monster comes for the urn at a time.
"Creature." Corrected annoyed Audrey.
Lela: Creature.
Dorian: Except the unicorn wasn't the monster. It was just the host to this thing.
Lela: We should normalize calling the species we don't understant a creature and not a monster.
"Exactly. That's why she is my best friend." Said Audrey.
"I though that was Jed." Said Kol.
"They both are. You can have more than one friend, you know?" Retorted Audrey.
Dorian: A parasite. It hitched a ride here in that Trojan horse, and then it moved on to us. From what Lela describes, it sounds like it latches onto the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain associated with inhibitions.
Lela: So, I was slug-drunk?
Dorian: Since we have multiple slugs, it must replicate inside the host, and then lie in wait for the opportunity to infect someone else.
Lela: I'm good on the gory details, thank you.
Rafael: How do we stop it?
Dorian: That's the weirdest part. I can't find any ancient legends about a creature like this.
Landon: Invasion of the Body Snatchers? The Faculty. Wrath of Khan. Sci-fi is our modern-day myths. Meaning they could have been inspired by something, right? In those movies, it's all about mind control.
"It's not good." Said worried Hayley.
Rafael: (chimed in) Before the slug popped out, Lela wanted to take the urn someplace. I'm guessing Malivore.
Dorian: So, it's like an infection. It gets worse as it spreads. Stage one, it-it lowers your inhibitions. It makes you act out of character. Stage two, once you're susceptible to suggestion, you'll do whatever the slug wants.
Landon: Till stage three. You go the way of the unicorn.
Everyone looks worried.
[Lela is holding a jar and looking at it.]
Lela: Did you see this? Parts of this thing look bioluminescent.
Doriam: Let me check that out. [Dorian takes out light and aims it at Jar. It glows.]
Lela&Rafael&Landon&Dorian: Whoa.
[Dorian points light at Lela. It shows way slug got into Lela's ear.]
Dorian: See that?
Lela: I don't want to know, do I?
"No." Answered Audrey.
Landon: Probably not.
Rafael: Definetly not.
Dorian: Nope. Nope. You know what? We can use these lights to find anyone who's been infected.