Madinah.
It has been three days. Three days of regret, muffled crying and gloomy skies. I hadn't realized that I actually liked General that much and I wanted him to like me back, until he told me he doesn't and wouldn't.
He'd warned me, he had made it clear. So what the hell was I thinking? That I could change him? Who was I to change him? Especially when our marriage was not even his choice. When I was not his choice.
That night I'd slept in my room with Alisha, I could not bear to lay down next to him and risk him hearing me cry. Alisha on the other hand was a perfect cuddle buddy, and she slept too deeply to even hear me cry.
My routine for the past three days has been to get up early, cook breakfast alongside Kate and bathe myself and Alisha, kate usually cooked lunch by herself because my husband was hardly around for lunch, and then we make dinner with the girls, Aaliyah and Laila. They had taken General's words quite literally and have been trying to get in my good books, they didn't need to try too hard though. As long as the pictures have been taken down, I am good. The last thing I usually did at night after dinner was make his chai.
We even went shopping yesterday. Alisha wanted back to school shopping and the girls tagged along because General technically grounded them, so something as little as shopping was a lot to them if it meant breathing air that was not in their school or the vicinity of this compound.
Today, General traveled for a work trip. He did not tell me where or when he was coming back, and I did not ask. I had asked for him to stop being nice, and boy was he meeting my demand. He still made sure I took my drugs, and we still prayed fajr together, he also made sure I ate food when he was home. But that was about it.
I missed him so much. I missed sleeping next to him and inhaling his scent that smelt like home, I missed our sly eye contacts from across the dining room, the innocent little touches we shared. I miss him talking to me and actually saying more than a few sentences. I missed him.
He was not mine to miss though, he had made it abundantly clear. But I was his wife, his wife! What did one have to mean to someone else to be able to demand their attention, their love? What made me so unworthy?
In the past few days, I have realized that it had very little to do with me and very much to do with him. He'd declared that none of that would be possible before he even knew me, my only mistake was not taking his words literally, it was a very expensive mistake.
"Ya Madinah, I am done praying, let's go make cupcakes!" Alisha squealed as she jumped on me, accidentally bumping our heads together.
"Ouch! Baby be careful."
She apologized to me in her sweet voice and dragged me out of my bed which I'd been laying in. Alisha has made us bake every single flavor of cakes in the history of flavors, and even some odd ones I am sure did not exist before now, all in the span of the five days she's been here.
"Let's gooo!" I let her drag my hands to the kitchen. Kate had already prepared all the ingredients we needed so we got right into it,
"Do you want to be a baker when you grow up princess?" I asked her teasingly,
"No I wanna work in Disney." She declared in all seriousness.
My brows raised as I burst out laughing, "don't let your yaaya hear you."
"He is all the way in kaduna so he can't hear me, but just don't tell him, okay? He will ruin my plans."
So that's where he went, kaduna. A pity that his baby sister knew when his own wife did not.
We put the cakes in the oven and started preparing the buttercream,
"Good morning," Aaliyah strolled into the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting a bottle of water.
"Hello, did you sleep well?" I faced her, though it was past one pm right now. They never woke up early, I wonder how they went to school.
"Yes. Laila and I are going out later." She tells me straight up.
I only nodded my head at her, they'd probably already spoken to General about it so who am I to say a thing?
"Have you spoken to your brother?" I asked her just to be sure,
"Just tell him we're at daddy's house if he happens to call please."
I stared at her like she had two heads, she wants me to lie to him?
"Aaliyah I cannot lie to him, what if something happens?" I reasoned with her,
"Nothing is going to happen. Tell him we're at daddys, please please."
The probability of General calling me was less than zero, so I was not even going to have to lie to him. But I wanted no parts in anything they were planning, so I ignored her last sentence and turned to what I was doing with Alisha.
A few seconds later, the kitchen door closed, telling me that she'd stepped out. With a sigh, I continued to whisk the butter cream.
***********************************
It was after Maghreb when Laila and Aaliyah came to tell me goodbye. They were both dressed in black body con dresses, their hair packed up into a ponytail. They looked like fraternal twins!
"Just go with your guards and come back soon please." I told them, uneasiness coursing through my veins.
My words were not graced with a reply as they walked out, so Alisha and I continued to do her project that she was given to do during the holiday. She was leaving tomorrow so I tried to make sure all of her assignments were completed.
We continued to do that till it was time for Isha, during which we went to my room and prayed, and decided to eat dinner and call it a night. So imagine my surprise when I heard the front door open.
At first I thought it might've been the girls and they actually listened to me and came back on time, that hopeless thought flew straight out of the window when I saw my husband walk through the living room door,
I quickly gathered my words and greeted him, "Ina wuni," he simply nodded his head as he walked to the dining room,
Alisha and him exchanged greetings and I heard him tell her how famished he was, I went in behind them and caught him serving himself after serving her,
"I wasn't aware you were coming back today, let me make your chai." I told him and started to excuse myself when his voice stopped me,
"Maryaam." My eyes shut, it'd be so long since he called me that.
I stopped in my tracks but did not turn around, "come and eat first." So I tentatively walked back to the table and sat down,
What I dreaded the most came the minute I swallowed my first bite,
"Alisha go call your sisters for dinner."
Alisha looked between me and General, I looked away from her not knowing what to say or do. "Yaaya sun fita."
He nodded his head before directing his next question at me, "They informed you yes?"
I nodded my head, a bit at ease seeing how he didn't make it a big deal. "Where did they go?"
This time I bit my lip, where did they go? How in the world had I failed to ask them that? Would they even have told me?
"I don't know."
His hand stopped mid way to his lips, "When did they go out?"
"After Maghreb." Finally a question I had an answer to.
He dropped the cutlery and brought out his phone, ringing who I assumed to be Aaliyah. Her phone was switched off, next he called Laila and we listened to it ring aimlessly the first time, the second time he called, it was switched off.
The moment I started realizing the gravity of the situation was when he dropped his food and got up, he called someone else, it was Robert. I heard them speak for a few seconds before he cut it and turned to me,
"Call maama and put it on speakerphone."
I quickly retrieved my phone from the couch and did so, "Assalamu alaikum,"
"Wa'alaikum assalam, ina wuni maama." I greeted her.
"Madinah kenan. You took all of my babies and forgot about me for the past week." She teased,
I chuckled awkwardly, "Ba haka bane ba, we are sorry. They'll be back soon."
"No no keep them, I have been enjoying the peace and quiet." She chuckled with me,
"Alisha called me this morning with Aaliyah's phone, but I haven't been able to get to Aaliyah. Tell her to call me please." I looked nervously at General as I answered her, he was hoping that was where they went.
"I will tell her maama, Good night." The call cut,
I watched my husband rub his eyes in frustration and settle down on one of the couches, I could not help but feel as if this was my fault. They were in my house, under my care and I let them go without even interrogating them.
However, it was still nine pm so I hoped with every fibre of my being that they would surprise me by walking in any second from now. Unless they were at a concert, I don't see what event lasts past ten. Especially since they did not look like they were going for a wedding dinner.
Robert came into the house a few minutes later, "I tried tracking the car sir, I also spoke to the driver. It seems they'd asked him to drive them to the main house and told him to leave them there. I am guessing they had someone else pick them up from there,"
"What were Aaliyah's guards doing while all this was happening?" Generals tone held no sense of ease or calmness,
I could not help but wonder why he was taking this so seriously, the only worrisome part was the phones being turned off. But they're teenage girls, by Allahs will, they would walk through the doors soon. I was never a rebellious teenager, but zara and Ayaan were, they'd dragged me out to concerts, carnivals or dinner parties multiple times at night.
"They'd gone with her to the main house and according to them she'd slipped out while they were eating."
General let out a low curse. I looked between the both of them, and despite it not being my place, I spoke up, "Why don't we wait a little bit, they're teenage girls, they probably went to a party or something. In sha Allah they'll be back soon."
He looked at me like I had two heads, "Two teenage girls who were supposed to be under my watch. What in the world do I tell their parents?" It was almost as if he was talking more to himself than me,
I looked down at my fingers, guilt enveloping me once again, "Forgive me sir, but this is not the first time this is happening. The best course of action we could take right now is to wait a bit."
General said nothing but that was what we did, we waited. An hour passed, two.. Alisha eventually fell to sleep so I took her to the room and changed her into her nighties,
It was already fourty minutes past twelve at this point, I showered duas on her and returned to the living room, finding General still seated on the couch tapping his fingers on the arm chair, anxiety swimming off of him in waves,
Robert was at this point sitting on the sofa adjacent to Generals, I tentatively walked up to my husband and sat next to him,
It was not up to a minute after I sat down when the front door flew open, in walked Laila with Aaliyah in her arms, both sporting a tired expression,
All three of us sprung to our feet and approached them, "Where the hell are you coming from?" My husband was the first to speak,
Laila opened her mouth to talk but closed it back. Her hair was still in a ponytail while Aaliyah's was now falling down her back and onto her face, they carried a foul odor with them,
What was that smell? And why was Laila holding onto Aaliyah like she was sick or something? Generals next words answered all of my questions,
"Are you drunk? Is she drunk?" He aimed the questions at Aaliyah and Laila respectively. Aaliyah pushed off Laila a bit and spoke up,
"Yaaya no—-" in a second he'd yanked her out of Laila's arms, a loud smacking sound followed, my gasp cued right after. General had slapped Aaliyah.
"Yaaya wallah it wasn't intentional, her drink was spiked and—" Laila started to explain to him,
"Shut the fuck up before I kill the both of you." He cut her off,
Aaliyah held her cheek as tears ran down her eyes, she did not seem that drunk to me,
Robert stepped infront of General, standing as a barrier between him and the girls, I was too shocked to move,
"Where are you both coming from?"
"We- we went for a party, we'd planned on leaving earlier but then I couldn't find Aaliyah. I found her a few minutes later but her friend told me that her drink was spiked," Laila spoke in a shaky voice, clearly terrified.
"We poured water on her and waited for her to sober up, by the time she did, our phones were dead and everyone had left so we couldn't find someone to bring us back. I had to charge my phone and wait for it to come up."
"Yaa- ya I'm sorry." Aaliyah sobbed with her apology, it seemed she was sobered up but not completely,
When I saw General pushing past Robert to approach her, I quickly stepped forward and stood beside her, not that there was much I could do to protect her asides pleading,
"Dan Allah ka yi hakuri. Her drink was spiked." It was not much of a justification but I still tried,
"What took her to a party where alcohol was present in the first place ? Both of them dressed like cheap escorts for that matter. This girl is crazy maryaam, you can't save her from me today."
"Yaaya pleasee." Although she was crying, her words still came out in a slur.
"What exactly are you sorry for? My being in this house to catch you? You really haven't changed a bit? You're trying to go back to your old ways?"
I do not know how he expected her to answer all those questions in her current state,
"I would rather kill you myself and mourn you than allow you to ruin your life and parents life in the process."
"Nooo." She slurred once again. And my standing next to her did not change anything because she received another slap.
Aaliyah fell to her knees and continued to sob uncontrollably, Laila was crying as well at this point. The entire scene was so overwhelming for me,
"General, please, it's okay." I knelt to the ground beside her and pulled her into my arms,
"Stay out of this." He threw me a glare. I have never seen him so angry, if I thought he looked angry the day they posted my pictures, then it was nothing compared to this. I feared he may actually kill her like he said.
"Robert increase her security. She is not allowed anywhere asides school and home. They attend classes with her and come back home with her. The only time she is to be left alone is when she is within the premises of daddy's or my house. Let them know that if she is left out of their sight, they all lose their jobs."
"And you, because you lack sense, you let a girl who is a year younger than you drag you into her wilderness? I am tiring of warning you in this house rukayya, by Allah I will hurt the both of you and nothing is going to happen."
"I am sorry yaaya, wallah it was not intentional." Her apology and sobs fell on deaf ears as he walked out of the living room. Robert followed after him, bidding me goodnight and walking out of the house.
Laila and I pulled Aaliyah to her feet and dragged her up the stairs, "go to your room and shower. I will take care of her." I told her once we got to the door of the room.
I took Aaliyah to the bathroom and pulled off her dress. She had her underwear and a half vest underneath it, so I didn't bother to take those off and just placed her in the bathtub. I twisted the tap to the warm water setting and pulled it open.
A collection of bathing gels, skincare and scrubs were arranged in a shelf, she probably brought them with her, my husbands family and audacity. She'd transformed my guest room into hers, but I didn't mind, my mind was far from there currently actually.
I lathered some soap onto a loofah and scrubbed her arms, legs and neck, deciding that she could do it properly tomorrow. Laila was also very shaken up and Aaliyah hardly knew where she was.
"Will he forgive me?" Her voice came out low, almost inaudible.
"Ofcourse he will. He loves you." I was sure he did. He loved both of his sisters so much, I often envied them.
"What if he doesn't? He already forgave me last time."
My brows furrowed, she had a distant look in her eyes. "I did it once, two years ago. I went to a party and I got drunk. Some men kept on flirting with me and tried to take advantage of me, a girl there took my phone and saw yaaya calling. He called over ten times, so she picked up and sent him my location. By the time he got there, they had taken off most of my clothes— " She inhaled deeply.
"He shot one of them in the arm that night. Our relationship has never been the same since, he doesn't even talk to me like he used to." And now she was back to full on sobbing, my heart broke for her.
"Ya madinah i swear to you that was the first and last time I took anything in my life. Tonight- someone spiked my drink, the whole place smelt of alcohol so i did not smell it in my drink. I did not know what it was. I promise.." She held onto my arm that I was using to wash her.
"It's okay Aaliyah, I believe you."
She looked up at me with teary eyes, "you do?"
"Yes, I do. And General will as well, you just need to let him calm down first." I hoped with everything in me that I wasn't lying to her.
"Will you help me?"
How could I possibly do that? He told me to stay out of it. My opinion clearly meant nothing to him.
I smiled sadly and pulled out the bathtub drain.
Once the water was all drained out, I took the detachable shower head and washed her off,
"Close your eyes and hold your breath." I told her as I positioned the shower head by her head and let it wash down her face and hair.
I let it run for a few seconds before turning off the tap and wrapping her in a towel, beckoning her out of the bathtub.
"He cares about you, a lot. He will listen to you."
I looked at her now like she was crazy. What is it with everyone around us thinking General regarded me as anything other than a burden. A pain in his neck, his arranged wife.
Laila chose right at that moment to walk into the bathroom, she looked between Aaliyah and me with a straight face, "are you better?" She asked Aaliyah, completely ignoring me,
Aaliyah nodded and her, and she walked out of the bathroom. I watched her retreating back for a few seconds. She couldn't drop her act and rudeness for one day? If it was General she wanted, she should try and get him. I would not be the one to stop her. Even as I thought about it, tears welled up in my eyes.
Only a few days ago, I actually believed my husband and I could be a loving couple. How so so stupid of me.
"Ya madinah, just so you know, when it comes to my brothers heart, it's really not Laila you have to worry about."
The way she'd spoken implied that there was someone I had to worry about, just not Laila. But who? Is this whole him not being able to love anyone because he already loved someone else? Another woman?
Aaliyah did not give me an opportunity to ask about it or even comprehend it.
"The only reason Laila is doing all of this is because of the ideas people have fed into her head. She'd always been told she was going to be his wife due to their closeness, but yaaya is not even her type."
"He is too serious for her." She said. I let out a breath I did not know I was holding these past few weeks. But just because she may not like him does not mean the same people feeding her ideas won't push for it to happen. She should leave me with his seriousness, I will manage.
I would rather live a loveless marriage with General till we die, than watch another woman fight for his love. I am not the type of woman to try and actively change a man, what if he marries someone who lacks self respect? Worst of all, what if she succeeds?
I brush the image off my head and escorted Aaliyah back into the room once she'd brushed her teeth. She was fully sober now, but visibly very devastated.
Id done all I could for her, so I bid her goodnight and went to our room. General was not in the room, I realized he was probably in the gym, so I showered, changed and laid in bed.
My last thought being Aaliyah's words. Who was she talking about? Who do I have to worry about?
Can someone tell these little girls to relax and let my man be ? 😓
This chapter was so difficult to write because I cannot for the life of me write chapters that include physical violence. But Ammal and I agreed that those slaps were very well needed.
Give us two more chapters and we're gonna witness some dramaaaa 🥰
Bye my girls 💗💞