***5306 WORDDDSSSS!!! u guys seem to like longer chapters so here you go:)
Tw: small mention of Charlie's past and talk of relapse (dw there isn't one)
Nick:
I'm currently on my way home from rugby training. I sent my usual "otw" text to Charlie, and asked if we needed anything back at home since we've got a few guests, but I'm almost home and still haven't gotten a response. Usually, I would probably be worried, but he's got three others with him if something were to happen.
I pull into our driveway, grabbing my bags before I head into our house. "Just me" I yell out when I walk through the front door. I set my things down before looking back up to be greeted by Tori "oh, hey" I say, a little startled. "Hey- erm... it's Charlie, he's breathing and everything, I just think that she kind of messed with his head, so he's been sleeping for the past four hours" tori says, sounding worried "wh-what...who is she?!" "Oh yeah- erm Jane stopped by" "shit" I say walking away to find Charlie.
I find him sprawled out on the living room couch. I walk around and crouch down next to Charlie to make sure he's still breathing and not too hot. "Is Ollie still here" I ask tori who's looking over me and Char. "Yea, I've just got them downstairs." I nod before asking her for a favor "could you please get me a glass of water?" She doesn't say anything but walk off towards the kitchen.
While I wait for tori to come back, I try to wake Charlie myself "Hello love, are you awake, can you hear me?!" I ask while swiping his hair from out of his face. There's no response, but I keep talking in his ear.
Eventually, tori comes back with that glass, so I pour some of the water into my hand and sprinkle some on his forehead and neck. I do this a couple times while still talking to him until his eyes finally open.
"Hi there" I say with a smile. Charlie does everything that he usually does when just waking up. He looks around and stretches a bit before laying both eyes back on me. "How you feeling, love?!" I ask. He doesn't respond at first, but it looks like everything is starting to come back to him. "I'm okay, just tired!" I could tell he was lying and trying to force a smile. "Baby, I already know Jane came over, but what did she say to you" "we don't have to talk about it, doesn't matter what she said anyways!!" Charlie says with a yawn in between. He adjusts his body to now face the ceiling "ehh, I think we should talk about it, doesn't have to be right now, but you know" I say with a kiss to his forehead.
I let Charlie lay down for a bit more before I try to get him to sit up. "Can you drink some water please??" I ask. Once he leans against the couch, I see that he notices tori sitting on the couch opposite of him. "Ollie here" he asks. Tori nods her head. "Good, k thank you!!"
I place the cup in his hands, waiting for him to take a couple of sips. "I'm okay now" Charlie says, trying to stand up before I stop him "I-uh-I think we should go upstairs and lie down" "Nick I'm fine" he says sounding a little more agitated. "I know, I just want to make sure."
I watch Charlie go upstairs before I turn to talk to tori "I can be back down soon to get dinner started, I'm just gonna make sure he's ok!" Tori chuckles after my statement "Nick it's fine, I've got it. I'll bring it up when it's ready, no worries" "thank you tori" I say before walking upstairs myself.
I walk into my room, looking around for Charlie who is not in here. I check the bathroom, not there. I don't panic just yet because I saw him walk up here with my own two eyes. I leave the room and check the hall before I decide to go through every room. The first room I check was the one that made the most since, I was right. Charlie was sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery. "Baby what's going on, I thought we were gonna lay down?!" I ask as I walk towards him. Char shrugs his shoulders "just wanted to sit in here". I was definitely not going for that. I know it has something to do with Jane, I just need him to tell me the specifics so that I can help. "Are you feeling all right, you and haricot?"(bean in French) I get a smile out of him, not sure if it was the nickname or the French, but either works for me. "We're fine" Charlie replies but I still don't believe him. I walk over closing the space between us as I move Charlie over so that I can sit too. I lift him up a bit before pulling him back in to partially sit on my lap.
We sat there in silence as Charlie fiddled with the collar and hem of my shirt. "What's happening in that head of yours?" I ask in a sort of whisper. Charlie turns to look at me for a second before Turing back away. I see his hand move to his belly and his lip start to tremble before I turn his face to look at me.
"Why are you crying love" I ask softly. He's not able to answer me at first, but I'm capable of waiting.
" I don't think I'm ready Nick, I-I don't think I'm fit to be a dad" he says as the tears quickly turn into sobs. I didn't respond right away as hearing Charlie say that was like a punch to the gut. "What are you talking about?!" I ask, looking into his red eyes. Charlie sighs, getting a little choked up " I-I'm not gonna be a good dad. I've got too much of a past" I furrow my brows even though I know exactly what he's talking about "char have you relapsed recently and I don't know about it, because otherwise, it's been three years" he shakes his head "no I just- it's still not a good influence and what if they have a breakdown and I don't know how to help, or they start to do things to themself like me or because of me...she's right, I'm just not ready and I don't know if I ever will be. I don't know what I was thinking Nick." I couldn't bear to just sit here and let my husband talk about himself like this. I got up and set Charlie back down on the chair before I crouched down in front of him. I took his hands in mine before I spoke "Char, I need you to believe me when I say that none of what she says about you is true. And you know that I'll support you in any choice that you make, but I'm not gonna sit here and let you give up your dream of having a family just because your mum speaks a shitload of nonsense. Yes, you have a past, but you've been doing so well and I'm so,so proud of you for it. I know you worry about it, but you're not gonna hurt our kid. Not unless you keep talking about yourself like this, because I know they don't like it either. No more, please and thank you!" I finish off with a kiss to his hand.
I sit with Charlie, waiting to see if he'll respond or not.
"I wish I could just keep her out of my head. I was fine until I sat and thought about what she really said" Charlie says, leaning back against the chair. "But it doesn't matter what she says because none of it is true yeah?!?" "Yea" he agrees softly. I know he doesn't quite realize it yet, but he will soon.
I climbed back into the chair with Charlie a while ago, just cuddling and massaging his scalp. I had some thoughts flowing through my head that I felt he needed to hear. Before I say anything, I move my hand from his hair to his stomach, Charlie just cuddles more into my chest.
" I can't wait to see how much our little one looks like you. I'm thinking full, long, curly hair. I'm not sure if they'll have black or blonde hair, but they'll definitely have curls and brownish eyes. Hopefully they'll have your smile so then I could have two of my favorite thing." I sigh in between "that would be the dream" I finish off before looking down at Charlie who was already smiling up at me. I kiss his cheek " and they'll be amazing because they've got an even more amazing-er dad" I end with another kiss, this time on his lips. "Two amazing Dads" Charlie adds. " what will they call us, like we can't both be dad?!" I ask, letting my intrusive thoughts get the best of me. "Ermm what's dad in French" "papa" I say "settled then, you're papa, I'm dad" "wait, why can't you be padré?! Papa makes me feel old" I say, but Charlie just laughs at me "ok... I'll be padré and you're dad" "great, but if you're gonna be called padré, you have to speak Spanish" I protest "deal...if you speak French. We could have the coolest trilingual kids" char says beaming at me.
We continue to have this conversation until there's a knock on the door. "Come in" I yell out. Tori walks in with two bowls "hope you like chicken fried rice" she says as I take the bowls from her "thank you tori, you're the best" I say "I know!! You feeling better Charlie?!" " yea thanks for helping me" char says with a slight smile "good, we'll be downstairs if you need me" tori says as she walks back out, closing the door.
"You up for eating" I ask Charlie just to make sure. He nods as he takes a bite "mhmm, can we actually go downstairs? Ollie leaves tomorrow, wanna make sure he's ok" I chuckle "what?!" Charlie asks me "nothing, just always caring about others!" I say kissing his cheek before grabbing both bowls and helping Charlie out of the chair.
We walk downstairs, being greeted by everyone as we walk into the kitchen. "Uncle nicckkk!!" Blake lets out, running up to me. I shift the bowls into one hand so I'm able to pick her up "hi little one, did you have a good day?!" "Yea, I beat uncle Nick in Mario" she says excitedly. I look over at Charlie who has a hand on top of his bump, and one under. It was kind of hot to be honest, but I had to keep in check as we've got company. "Whaaatt!! Uncle Charlie's gotta work on his skills huh?!!" Blake nods her head before I put her back down so we can all finish our meal.
All five of us have conversations about today and whatever else while we finish up dinner.
When we're done, i sent Charlie to bathe, Ollie to do whatever, and tori to get Blake asleep. I cleaned the kitchen and made some cookies as I knew the three of them would probably stay up late since tomorrow's Saturday, plus Charlie will appreciate them.
I set the cookies out on the island before heading up to take a shower myself. To my surprise, char was still in the bathroom 30 minutes later. I knock on the door waiting for his approval before walking in on him applying some cream on his stomach. I hug Charlie from behind "I cannot lie, you with a pregnancy bump does something to me" I say with a smirk. Charlie laughs as he pushes me away "get out of here" "what, I can't admire my hot husband" "no, you need to shower" he says with a full smile on his face. I sigh while getting into the shower, purposely not closing the frosted door. It only remains open for about two seconds before Charlie slams the door "shithead" he says under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear. I only laugh, but when I hear the bathroom door open, I yell out his name "char!!" "No" "I was just gonna say I made you guys cookies, they're on the island" I say smiling at his initial response. I don't hear anything come from Charlie until the shower door opens and he leans in to kiss me "love you" "you just called me a shithead" "ermm, I don't recall" he says quickly closing the door again and walking out of the bathroom. I smile to myself as the water hits my body.
I don't spend too much longer in the bathroom before I'm out and back downstairs with char, Ollie, and tori. I joined in on some movie they were watching as I assumed everyone was over Mario kart for now.
I grabbed a cookie and cuddled up next to Charlie before he sent me to bed as I still have to be up early tomorrow!!
***NEXT MORNING***
Charlie:
Today, I woke up feeling a lot better than I did during yesterday's events. Nick always helps me in the best ways possible. Like yesterday, he cuddled me, we talked, and he made cookies. But today, I was greeted by a sweet note on my nightstand:
Good morning love, hope you're feeling better today...made you some pancakes (they're in the oven). Take care of yourself soon to be padré. I love you more than you'll ever know
, yours truly
The note was super sweet that I would've felt bad if I left him hanging, so I decided to text him.
Nickkyy😍😘:
(9:28am)- morning baby...thank you for the note and breakfast. I love you so very much soon to be dad<3 have an amazing day!!!
After sending the message, I head downstairs by myself as no one else had gotten up yet. I turned on a show and ate all of the pancakes that were left for me. By time I was done, tori and Blake came up fully dressed.
"Good morning uncle Charlie" Blake says as she runs up to me "morning sweet girl!! Did you have any good dreams?!?" "No, mum forgot my special pillow" she says, sorta glaring over at tori. I sense that I've started something so I direct my attention over to her as well. "She's cried about it every night" tori groans, plopping down next to me on the couch . I turn back to Blake "seems like mum deserves a punishment huh?!" I whisper. Blake nods and follows my lead as I grab a pillow and fling it at Tori's side.
"What the hell Charlie" tori lets out while trying to protect herself. We both hit her like three times each before she runs away. " I bet mum won't forget your special pillow again!" I say smiling at tori, but talking to Blake. Tori blocks her hand from Blake's view as she flips me off, meanwhile, Blake is dying of laughter right next to me.
The two girls left me to go eat porridge, but sooner than later, Ollie joined me on the couch. "Morning ol!!" I say to him as he plops down. "Morning Charlie, any plans today?!" He asks me all chipper that it catches me by surprise. "Ermm no, have anything in particular that you want to do?!" "So like, I was thinking since it's Saturday you know, and England rugby has open trainings for family...maybe we could go"I chuckle at the puppy dog eyes that he's giving me "how do you even know about that?!" "Erm...Nick told me!" "Right!!" I say with a smile, causing Ollie to grin " I mean, we can go, but just so you're aware, this is most likely your last day with us...sooo do you want to see your girlfriend, Sophia?!?" I ask and he looks completely puzzled. "Umm..." I try to think of something to help him out "you could go to Sophia's house for a bit, and then I pick you up to go see Nick. Maybe you could bring Sophia too?!" I suggest "yea we should do that, but Sophie doesn't like rugby so we can just go without her!" "Ok that's fine. You wanna get ready to go?!" I ask. Oliver gets up off the couch to head upstairs "thank you Charlie!!" I smile to myself before getting up to hangout with tori and Blake.
I walk into the kitchen, taking a seat at the island. "Want some porridge?!" Tori asks "no, Nick made me pancakes!!" I say with a smile, but tori rolls her eyes, going back to her bowl.
"Did you want to do anything today?!" I ask tori "Nick asked me if we would come to the open training today" she shrugs "what the hell?!?" I say, kind of offended "what?!, I mean we don't have to go!" "No it's fine, he just asked everyone here to go, but me. Ollie just asked to go too." "Mmm, well never mind, guess you weren't invited!" "Clearly" I say, being a lot more pouty now.
Tori and Blake finish their meal and get up to clear everything, well one clears, the other goes off to play. "What time do you wanna go" I ask tori "I don't care" "well, Ollie wants to go to Sophia's house and then the training" "I mean it's almost 12pm now so, maybe around 5 or 6" tori suggests "yeah, they usually start the scrimmage around then."
I wait around for tori to finish cleaning before she ends up taking a seat next to me at the island. Tori turns to face me, looking a little suspicious, like something's on her mind, so I turn my attention to her. "What?!" I ask "Ermm, don't like get excited or anything because I haven't talked to Michael or anyone else, but, I've been thinking about possibly moving, closer to you!?!" "What!!?!?" I say, trying to contain the urge to hug her, so I just smile " I don't know, it's peaceful by ourselves in Liverpool, but now that you're having a baby, and I know it's not gonna stop here, I want Blake to be closer to her cousins." She shrugs. The smile is still on my face, but my thoughts get a little more realistic "what about your jobs...and mum?!? Hell, I would move away from her if I could!" " The software jobs are better here anyways, but yea, I've thought about the mum thing." "And?!?" I ask. She plops down on my shoulder "I don't knoww, I wish I could just take you, Nick, and Ollie back with me" "well, get Nick to quit rugby and move away from his mum, and we'll be on our way up" I chuckle as tori groans "rugby and his mum to Nick, are like Blake to her special pillow!!" We both laugh!!
The both of us talk about Tori's move before we hear footsteps behind us. "I'm ready now" says Ollie. I look at him up and down before I start to smile at his shirt. "He'll love your jersey" I say looking at the England rugby jersey he has on.
Not too much later, all of us leave for Sophie's house, tori and Blake coming along for the ride. It's a 40 minute ride there, so once we drop him off, we decide to stop for lunch at Nando's before heading back home to prepare for the visit to the training camp.
Once tori, Blake, and I return back to my home, we all lounge on the couch for a little over three hours before we head to get changed into some warmer things for the cold night ahead. It takes me a little longer as I had tried to find things in my own wardrobe, but nothing fit good enough, so 80% of my outfit belongs to Nick.
I grab a bag of snacks for all of us just in case before we head off in Tori's car.
I text Ollie when we're ten minutes away, and then again once we're outside. He comes out this time on his own. "Alright" I ask once he gets in "Yup, I'm so excited" he says, causing me to smile as tori pulls off.
It only takes about 20 minutes to get to the training camp. I navigate tori through the car park to get to the vip section.
Security asks for our names to confirm that we're on the family list before they let us through. I lead everyone to the almost empty stadium while the kids are practically freaking out.
We get close enough to see the team, but they also see us. Nick turns around giving us a smile before turning back to his coach. Apparently, it was for confirmation to come greet us. He ran over to the bleacher section we were at, and hopped the barrier before hugging me. "Hi baby" he says before pulling away to kiss me on the lips "hi"!
I move out the way so that everyone else can get a chance with Nick. He picks Blake up "hi miss Blake, are you ready for the match?!" He asks, tickling her stomach "yess uncle Nick" Blake let's put in between giggles.
Nick moves on to Oliver "oh my goodness Ollie, who are you repping?!?" Ollie turns around, showing Nick the back of his jersey where it says Nelson and #24 "that's my boyyy" Nick says pulling Ollie in, both of them with a big smile. Nick then leans in to hug tori "thanks for coming" he says to her before turning back to make his way over to me "wait up for me?!" "Always!" I respond, kissing his cheek "love you guys!" Nick says before heading back out on the pitch.
The four of us head up to the VIP seating to help stay warm, and for the better view too. We ate a few snacks while we waited for the match to start.
We cheered loud every time Nick or his team scored a try. Ollie would even cheer for the other half of England that was on the opposite team. It was a lot more fun to watch a friendly scrimmage than it is to watch a serious one.
When the match was over, we all went back down to wait for Nick and everyone to come out of the locker room.
Once they did, Nick first took Oliver around to meet some of the other players while tori, Blake, and I sat back, and watch ollie beam, and run from player to player.
The little meet and greet was over, so Ollie and Nick made their way back over to us. I took Nick's hand before we started to head to the car park. "Great match, it was fun to watch!" I say smiling up at him "yeah, maybe you'll come on Saturday's more often?!?" "Ermm, have a bone to pick with you actually...you asked everyone else to come today except for me" I say, sounding offended "well, I knew that Ollie would enjoy it, plus, I knew that you wouldn't have come unless tori or Ollie wanted to" "not true!" I scoff "char, when was the last time you came to an open training" "like....ok that's not the point" I say, Nick smiles "really?!" "Ok fine, I'll come more, promise" I say holding out my free hand for a pinky promise. Nick takes it and we both kiss our thumbs before he kisses my cheek.
We make it to the car park, specifically at Tori's car. I let go of Nick's hand to get in, but he pulls me back "ride with me" nick suggests. I look back at Tori's car "I wanna be there for Ollie when he leaves though" I kinda pout "I know, we'll be there, just in my car" "ok, ok, just let me tell them" I say, letting go of nicks hand to walk over to Ollie. I let Oliver know that I'll be there to drop him off, just in Nick's car.
I eventually walk off, hand in hand with Nick to his car. As soon as we get in, his hand finds my upper thigh. "What's up with you today?!" I ask smiling "what do you mean!?!" "Nothing, you're just being a little clingy. Like the note, coming to training, wanting me to come with you now, and your hand" I point out. Nick pulls his hand away, and I feel the immediate disgusted reaction across my face. I grab his hand and put it back where it was "excuse you, I said you were being extra clingy, not that I didn't like it!!" I say. Nick smiles as I lean in for a kiss as we're at a red light. "If anyones being clingy it's you. Looks like you missed me so much you had to wear all my clothes!!" "Shut up...you know I can't fit much right now" I say, now resting my hand on my stomach. "I like it, it's cute, you're cute" Nick glances at me, beaming. I just shake my head with a smile on my face.
The rest of the ride was pretty calm until we started getting closer to my parent's house, I was actually starting to get a little nervous. The nervous tics started to kick in and that's when Nick asked me if I was alright. "Yea, just not sure what she'll say this time around" I sigh out "I'm not gonna let her hurt you char" "I know" I say in response before the car goes quiet again.
Both tori and Nick pull into my old house. I see tori get out, and Oliver follows. I feel nick's eyes on me, waiting for me to move but I needed to remind myself that this was for Ollie, not me. I look over at Nick before opening the car door, he soon does the same.
All of us end up on or near the doorstep while we wait for someone to come to the door, eventually she did. "Hello everyone...oh Nick, what a delight it is to see you. Thought Charlie might've been hiding you away some place" she says with a grin, I immediately roll my eyes. "Hi Jane" Nick says back, I've never heard his voice or tone be so dry.
Jane let's us in so we all take a seat on the couch, we'll everyone except for Ollie who went to drop his bags off.
I sat next to Nick, practically in his lap, with my hand in his, just waiting for something to happen.
When Oliver came back down, my mum entered the living room. I felt Nick squeeze my hand so I gave him a quick smile to let him know that I'm ok, for now.
It had been pretty quiet with only the tv playing in the background until tori spoke. "So, have you thought about our offer" she asks our mum directly. "Have you thought about the dinner" Jane rebuttals. "We'll come to dinner if Ollie is allowed to visit more often and come to Paris" tori states and receives an immediate groan from mum "why don't you visit and come back home. Plus I'm sure poor Nick has enough troubles dealing with Charlie, but hell, all three is nearly impossible" "that's not at all even close to truth! Charlie brings me everything but trouble along with tori and Ollie so please, speak for yourself" Nick bites back leaving my mum speechless until tori continues " Mum, you like hand him off to whoever, whenever you like, he told us he's barely home so what's the difference?!" she asks "ok whatever, just do what you want, you guys always make me out to be a bad guy!!" Jane says, walking out "ok, so when we come by to pick him up, don't be shocked!" Tori shouts out at her.
The room went quiet again, everyone in their own heads until Blake reminds us where we are. "Can we go back to uncle Charlie's house?!" Blake blurts out causing us to look at her. Tori looks over at me for my opinion, I nod "yeah, say bye to uncle Ollie though!" Tori says to her as she runs over to him.
Soon after Blake, it was me, tori, then Nick to also comfort Ollie before we all left.
The ride back home, Nick was comforting, but also giving me the space I needed to process what happened. Even though not much was said, and I've felt way worse after a conversation with mum, just being around her brings my mood down.
When we pulled into the driveway, tori was already waiting for us, so we just got out the car to let everyone inside our home. I sat down on the couch, tori soon plopped down next to me with Blake in her arms "you alright" she asks me "yea, just glad the whole Ollie thing should be over now" I say, laying my head on her shoulder.
A minute later, Nick walks by "grilled chicken sandwiches good for everyone?!"both tori and I turn to face him and nod our heads in response. I stay with Blake and tori on the couch until I decide to go to the kitchen to be around Nick. Just to let him know I'm ok!
"Hey baby, you alright?!" Nick asks me as I walk to the stove, where he is. I stand behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and nuzzling into his back "mhmm...thank you for standing up for me" I say into his shirt. Nick puts the spatula down and adjusts my body so that he can turn and face me "always char! I'll always stand up for you" he says before leaning in to kiss my forehead. "I know, I love you for it" "I love you!! You sure you're alright" I look up and leave a couple of pecks on nicks lips for reassurance "promise!!" I then let out. Nick gives me one last kiss before he goes back to flipping chicken patties.
I hang around and talk to Nick while he cooks until I get ordered to tell tori and Blake that dinner is ready. The four of us gathered around the table to eat. There wasn't much conversation besides tori telling us that she'd leave tomorrow around late morning or early afternoon-ish, and then Blake being a bit whiny about it.
When we were done, tori went to get Blake to calm down while Nick and I cleared everything. I turned on some music to make the process a bit easier. I was on table and island while Nick washed dishes.
" you know, I kinda liked having a fuller house, could definitely get used to it!!" Nick says to me from the sink with a smirk on his face " why, me and Nellie aren't enough for you?!" I ask, really just joking "first of all, why are you leaving our kid out...second, I was just implying that we will still be having a shit ton of kids!!" "Oh, well then I agree!!" I say smiling
The kitchen gets cleaned and time is spent with all of us together before we head to bed. I'd say it's been a long eventful day, but none of it matters when I get to be in nicks arms at the end of it all!
A/N: hi everyone ... hope you enjoyed this one. Lemme know if it was too long bc Ik it can be overwhelming sometimes!! Xx
Side note: if you have any suggestions of what version of "dad" n&c will be called, let me know...it's dad (n) and padré (c)rn
ALSOO, I just got Heartstopper 5 (Ik im so late) but it was so good...obviously!!!!