"Thank you, Ben" Andrew smiled up at him as Ben took the plate, "Your mum has trained you well"
The comment made Claire laugh and the two of them started chatting again as Ben carried the plates through to the kitchen.
"Just put them anywhere, I'll start loading the dishwasher" Finn told him. Ben did as he was told and left the plates on the nearest side and went to fetch the last two.
On his return, he saw Finn had almost stacked the dishwasher and had started running hot water in the sink. The kitchen was just as beautiful as the rest of the house. Marble counters, chef-grade oven and hobs, it was just another page in a show home guide.
"D'you want another beer?" Finn held out an open bottle of Stella from the kitchen fridge, "I keep a stash in here for when I'm cooking"
"Uh- yeah, thanks" Ben took the bottle and took a big gulp. Being alone with Finn meant he was going to need it.
"Right, I'll wash, you dry" Finn instructed, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt.
Ben just stood there, staring at Finn for a second.
"Tea towels are over there" Finn gestured to a glass cabinet with herbs and spices neatly organised on the shelves. The bottom of the cabinet had drawers and thankfully Ben found the tea towels in the first drawer he opened.
"So, you want to learn how to cook then?" Finn started, attempting to make conversation with the cute shy boy who had barely said anything all evening, "I can teach you if you like"
"Erm- yeah, I mean it would be good, if I'm going to uni in a couple of years" Ben added, trying to keep the conversation going. Which was getting easier with the more he drank so he took another gulp of beer and started on the second saucepan.
"I don't know where any of this goes by the way, so I'll just-" He put the next saucepan next to the first by the draining board, "Stack them here"
"That fine, mum's weird about the cupboards so I'll put them away"
"It's a nice house" Ben continued, taking in the kitchen again
"Yeah, drives me crazy sometimes" Finn put the next pan on the draining board and started on the utensils, "Everything has to be so neat, y'know"
"So it is always like this? Not just because we're here"
Finn laughed, "No, sorry - you're not special enough"
Ben laughed too. The beer was working its magic, finally. Here he was in the kitchen of a big house, alone with possibly the hottest guy he'd ever met and his dad was no where near him. Life was good.
"Right that's done" Finn said mostly to himself, "I'll put these away and then we'll start on the counters"
Ben just watched, sipping his beer.
"You want another?" Finn gestured to Ben's almost empty bottle
"Yeah, go on then" He handed Finn the empty one and their fingers brushed slightly. It felt electric.
"I can give you a house tour after this if you like?"
The prospect of spending more time alone with Finn was too exciting for Ben to decline so he didn't and before he knew it, Finn was telling him to follow him up the stairs. For a second, his heart starting racing but he let it go. Couldn't he just let himself enjoy something for once? Not everything needed overthinking.
"And this is the reading room, as Dad calls it - I just mainly use the desk for my work" Finn was saying, Ben had almost seen the whole house now and he was getting slightly nervous because he knew Finn was saving his bedroom until last.
He remembered the leg squeeze from earlier and he suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that he should not have followed Finn upstairs. The house was solid, they couldn't hear their parents talking downstairs which meant they couldn't hear them either. He really was alone. What was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this. Not with Finn anyway, it should be Emily. Why wasn't he fucking normal?
All of a sudden, the euphoric feeling of being alone with Finn evaporated. No one would hear him scream, in that spilt second he was convinced Finn was going to do something horrible. Just like when dad would drag him up the stairs.
"Ben?" Finn's voice brought Ben back to the present
"I think I'm just gonna-" His breath hitched and it felt like all the air had been sucked from the room, he tried to breathe but his throat was closing up
"Ben? Hey, sit down" Finn ushered him to the armchair in the corner of the room and took his beer bottle from him, putting it carefully on the desk before turning back to Ben, "Hey, look at me"
"I-I'm fine I just need to-" Ben tried to get up, but couldn't. His legs failed him and he sat back down, "I just really need to-"
"I'll open a window, just stay there alright. I'm not gonna try anything if that's what you're worried about" Finn said, trying his best to reassure him. He leant over to open the window behind the armchair and sat down on the desk chair, giving Ben some space, but his breathing quickened and he was undoing the top button of his shirt.
So Finn moved back over to him, crouched down at his feet and took Ben's hands in his. Ben pulled away at first, but Finn held them tighter.
"Hey, look at me - you're okay, you're safe, okay? Just breathe, you're just freaking out - it's okay, there's fresh air coming in, alright. You're okay" Finn was saying anything he could to get Ben to stop freaking out and it seemed to work because he took his first deep breath in ages.
"I'm not going to hurt you, okay? I'm sorry if I freaked you out, I know how this looks but I didn't mean" Finn trailed off
Ben gulped hard to try to move the lump in his throat, "Sorry" He said weakly, "I don't know why- I just" His voice broke and he could feel the hot tears spilling onto his cheers, "Sorry" He said again, swallowing the tears back
"Hey don't apologise - come 'ere" Finn stood and put his arms around him, squeezing him tightly before letting go.
"I don't know why I freaked out" Ben said, his voice sounded stronger now, "I'm sorry - fuck - you probably think I'm so weird"
"Honestly, it's not the weirdest thing a guy's done" Finn said and then laughed, "You're okay now though?"
"Yeah, I just- I don't know, my head just went-"
"A million miles an hour?" Finn offered
"Yeah"
Finn nodded, "It's horrible, I'm sorry if it was me - and me squeezing your leg earlier that was- I shouldn't have done that"
The shock of what Finn had said silenced Ben.
"We can go back downstairs if you want" Finn said as almost a question, "I don't want you feeling uncomfortable-"
"Oh, no it's fine - you haven't shown me the rest of the house yet" Ben smiled, getting up from the chair and reaching for his beer bottle, "Lead the way" He gestured for Finn to continue which he did, the two of them making a conscious effort to act as if that didn't just happen.
They went to the shared bathroom. An immaculate suite with a free standing bath in one corner and a walk in shower in the other. The toilet was next to the bath and next to that was a double sink and along the wall nearest the door was a wooden unit holding freshly washed towels wrapped in rolls. The tiled floor shone, as did the rest of the room.
"We don't use it much really, only for guests - although I would love a double sink in my house, then me and my boyfriend can have one each" Finn grinned, gesturing to the untouched sinks. Unaware that what he had just said made Ben's heart skip a beat.
"You've got a boyfriend?" Ben asked a bit too quickly. The beer was making him say what ever was on his mind.
"No, why? Are you offering?" Finn quipped back which made Ben go red and Finn laughed, "Aw, I'm sorry" Finn said, still laughing, "You're too easy to embarrass. You're so far in the closet you're in Narnia my friend"
Ben didn't know what to say and he was confused about how Finn even knew.
"My gay-dar has a 99% accuracy rating" Finn continued, as if he'd read Ben's mind, "Am I right? You're in the closet? I mean you're definitely attracted to me, but your mum wants to set you up with my sister and you haven't even tried to make conversation with her all evening" Finn said, reeling off his observations
"Shut up!" Ben snapped
"Okay, I'm sorry" Finn said, putting his hands up. He backed into the bathroom, "I really am, it's horrible having to hide it. It eats you up doesn't it?"
Ben swallowed, trying to stop the lump forming in his throat.
"Well, I'm here alright? You can talk to me, just-" Finn hesitated, his face turned serious, "My advice would be to only do it when you're ready, don't come out because you think you have to"
"I can't ever-" Ben's voice broke and he cleared his throat, trying desperately to not cry in front of this man again, "I won't be able to ever say it" He tried again, "My dad-" He stopped himself
"It's okay" Finn encouraged, moving even further into the bathroom, "Come in here"
Ben did as he was told.
"Shut the door" Finn told him so he did, "I know it's terrifying"
Ben turned to face Finn who was now perched on the bathtub, "It's not that, it's just I will never be able to. My dad, he would-" Ben stopped again and closed his eyes, building the courage to say it, he opened his eyes again. Finn was patiently listening, Ben had his full attention.
"My dad would disown me, honestly. He's-" Ben thought for a second, "Difficult, I mean he literally hates me already so if he knew that I was-" Ben stopped again, not even being able to say the word, "He would probably kill me, I'm not even exaggerating, he already hits me - and I've never told that to anyone before-" Ben stopped himself, he wasn't meant to say that. The words just came out - stupid beer.
"It's okay, anything you say stays here - in this ridiculous bathroom" Finn added, smiling, but he dropped it when Ben didn't smile back, "Honestly, Ben. I mean, what happened in there" He gestured in the direction of the reading room, "You must be dealing with some shit and if you want to talk about it, I'm here, alright?"
"Yeah, thanks" Ben forced himself to smile slightly, "I just never talk about it to anyone - I mean if he found out I'd even told you then-" His voice broke again
"Hey, come here" Finn got up and pulled Ben into a hug, "No one will find out, you can trust me - I know you don't know me that well, but please know you can trust me" Finn's voice was sincere and it made Ben's heart ache. He'd longed for someone to care for so long. So, with his face in Finn's shirt, Ben allowed himself to cry again, but this time he felt the relief it brung.
He had finally said something to someone and it was okay. They didn't run away to immediately grass on him.
I'm sorry I haven't updated this for a little bit. I've become obsessed with Harry Potter once again and currently re-reading All The Young Dudes. Would highly recommend if you're into Harry Potter, The Marauders and gay romance (I assume you like gay romance, why else would you be here lmao) 😅😌