"Why don't you try to sleep a bit, hm?" Jimin suggests as he pulls the sheets over me. My body thanks me for finally laying down in my bed so that my muscles, sore from the fever, can relax. My soft cushion doesn't manage to relax my mind, though.
How did that picture end up online? What are people saying about it? Jimin has taken my phone away and won't allow me to look at the articles, but guessing by his red, puffy eyes it's pretty bad. How could it not be bad with a picture like that? You technically can't see what is happening on that backseat because of the glares on the window, but it's pretty clear to any adult.
Jimin disappears from my bedroom and I hear him leave. The sound of the front door closing causes a painfully familiar thump in my heart. What more can I ask of him really? He took care of me and brought me home. The guy has better things to do.
When I open my eyes it's dark outside. I must have fallen asleep. My clothes are wet from sweating and for just a moment I have blissfully forgotten about any other problems than the fever, but then I remember that picture again. What a mess... I try to find my phone, where did Jimin put it?
As I sit up with a groan I notice the lights are on outside of my bedroom. Jimin must have left them on. I slide out of bed to go find my phone, but I freeze when my bedroom door opens and lets more light into my dark cave.
"Yaa, get back in bed you!" Jimin demands. He is here? Am I not still dreaming? Fever dreams can be deceitfully realistic.
"Jimin-ie? I-I thought you left?"
"I did, I went to get some groceries." He walks up to me and see that he's holding a bowl. He pushes me back to bed and lights the small lamp on my bedside table. I silently crawl back in bed, still stunned by his presence, and rest my back against the headboard.
"Here, eat this."
The warm bowl lands in my hand and I stare at it for a moment. "You bought rice porridge? ...For me?"
"I made it. You should eat a healthy home cooked meal when you're sick." He answers simply and sits down on the edge of the bed with a proud smile. He made me porridge, vegetable and abalone. He could have just gone home. He could have just bought me some food and drop it off. But he didn't. He cooked for me. He didn't leave me.
"Go on, try it." He impatiently suggests. I take a spoonful and start eating, pushing the lump in my throat down with the warm, delicious food even though I'm not hungry at all. I just want to have Jimin's carefully prepared meal inside of me.
"Aren't you hungry?" I ask with my mouth full of rice.
"I had some ramyeon."
"Ramyeon?? Why don't you take some porridge as well?"
"It's for you. There's enough for tomorrow as well." He places his hand on my forehead and I see the corners of his mouth pull back. "Still warm. You should stay home tomorrow hyung."
"But... I need to talk to Jisoo and Jin... And what about—"
"I talked to Jisoo already, she said she'll talk to Seokjin. Everything is alright, just rest tomorrow, okay?"
"H-how? You have Jisoo's phone number?"
"I do now. I called to the reception of the building to ask Narae for her number, I knew they get along so I assumed she'd have it."
"Oh... Thanks Jimin-ie..." I can't believe he went through all that trouble for me.
"No problem hyung." He watches how I finish the porridge and he takes the bowl from my hands. "Good job." He says playfully and ruffles my hair before standing up.
"Y-you're not leaving right?" I ask before thinking. I don't want to be alone. Jimin looks at me with pursed lips. He's probably thinking of a way to let me down easily. I shouldn't have asked.
"Want to watch something?" He asks to my surprise. "I heard about a new show that came out this week."
I smile and nod.
——
The sun wakes me up through the curtains which I didn't closed last night. While Jimin and I were watching episode after episode in bed I enjoyed the little lights from other buildings shimmering in the corner of my eyes. It calms me down to be reminded of that, behind each window, people are living their own lives and each have their own stories and problems they're living though.
Meanwhile I was living my own day, from meeting my ex, finding out about my own scandal, almost fainting, to ending up in Jimin's arms in bed. If I could, I would have been purring loudly while he stroked my hair. But now, waking up without him next to me is a feeling I don't dare to put words to. I get up to take a shower.
When I walk out of the bathroom in my robe I hear the lock of my front door beep. In my mind I try to run though all the people I've given my front door code to. Hoseok? My parents? The concierge? I waddle to the hallway with a deep frown and watch how the door slowly opens and a beautiful blonde man enters with a grocery bad. My frown immediately melts away.
"Jimin-ie? You're back?"
"Ah, you're up! How are you feeling?"
"I-I'm okay-ish, but why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the studio?"
"Nah, I told them to just practice what we did yesterday. They'll be fine without me for a day." His smile pushes his eyes into cute little moons. He walks by me, straight to the kitchen and I follow him slowly after rubbing my eyes. I sit down at my kitchen island and watch him unpack the groceries. My feverish brain isn't quite computing how this morning is unfolding.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I'm making you breakfast."
"But you said you made enough porridge for today."
"Yeah, but you need more than just a bowl of porridge, hyung. I'm making soup." He throws a little wink at me and I remain stunned by what is happening. He looks comfortable in my kitchen. He knows where to find the utensils he needs and hums a little tune while chopping some vegetables. I've secretly imagined what it would be like to make breakfast for him one day, but he beat me to it. The sight makes me want to forget about everything that happened yesterday, but I can't.
"Ehh, Jimin-ie, do you know where my phone is?" I ask so I can read what people are saying about the photo.
"Oh... It's right there, on your coffee table." He points behind me. "But maybe you shouldn't... I mean..."
"It's okay, I can handle it." I stand up with a groan and waddle to the coffee table. My phone looks awfully abandoned, as if it's to blame for everything. I try to unlock it, but the battery died, so I take the innocent object back to my bedroom to charge it.
I sit down on the edge of my bed and plug my phone in. I puff my cheeks and slowly breathe out. Here we go. What is going to happen once this little machine lights up again? For a moment I wish I delayed this moment so I could enjoy the peaceful vision of Jimin cooking me breakfast a bit longer.
My phone starts up and I ignore all the missed calls and messages to go straight to the first article I can find with the image of my face displaying blissful pleasure. I'm glad I didn't know back then how that moment would end up being broadcasted like this. The article loads too fast and I scan through the paragraphs to the comments. I hold my breath as I read.
- Is he so calm in his episodes because he lets his staff suck him off in the parking lot beforehand?
- The other looks like a dude, who is it?
- You mom.
- Fuck you
- Hold up, the clothes of the other looks like Jimin's from his practice video some time ago (link)
- Damn that's him
- Do I see some blonde hair as well?
- Jimin is really fucking his way to the top, first getting fame through Taemin and now Yoongi
- Omo that's how he got to be on Honsool 😂 trading sex for fame
- Isn't he still with Taemin? Did he cheat on him?? 😡
- Guys, that picture of Yoongi punching someone, there's someone in a white blouse next to him. Isn't that the same blouse that Jimin is wearing in his Honsool episode?
- Omfg you're right
- Guys chill, half of the population wears white shirts, why would that be Jimin?
- Daddy I'll suck you without needing to be on Honsool, you can even punch me after
The words become blurry as my hand is starting to shake. I quickly check other articles, they're mentioning Jimin everywhere. One website is even already running with the theory of Jimin cheating on Taemin. What the hell is going on? Did I cause this? Why is Jimin being so nice to me still?
Jimin walks into the bedroom and silently sits down next to me. I feel my weak blood starting to boil from my toes to my finger tips. I want to throw my phone out of the window, I want to break the walls around me and my bones, but the anger inside of my instantly dies as I turn and see Jimin's face.
"Jimin-ie, I-I..." The forgotten lump in my throat re-appears in a rush and tears fill my eyes. "I'm so sorry..."
"Hyung... What are you sorry for? It's not your fault." He says with a shaky voice and grabs my hands.
"But... Without me none of this would have happened to you. I should have been more careful. I should have known better." The tears are flowing down my cheeks in full speed and I become unable to say anything else. I fucked up. I was selfish. I wanted Jimin too badly, so badly that I became reckless.
Jimin pulls my head against him and he lets me cry thick tears on his shoulder. I shouldn't even be the one crying. I should be the one offering Jimin a shoulder, I should be the one making him breakfast.
"They even link you to the ally picture now..." I whimper in his shirt.
"I know..."
"They're saying you cheated on Taemin. Even though he cheated on you."
"I know..." Jimin is starting to snuffle, making me look up. His dewy eyes look at me in pain and my heart breaks a thousand times more. I did this to him.
"Jimin-ie..." I cup his cheeks in my hands. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this. I want to fix this for you."
"Hyung, there's nothing you can do. Just let them talk, they have no evidence." A tear rolls from his eye and into my hand. I wipe it away slowly and pull him into a hug, trying to get him to stop being so strong. I want him to feel free to show his real emotions. I pull him tighter and tighter, whispering sweet words. Slowly but surely his mask melts under his eyes and he cries.