Morgan
I know most people see classes as something you just have to get through. Some even hate them.
Not me.
I was brought up to value learning. Not education. Education is static, something you get and have. Learning is a lifelong process that should be interesting and fascinating.
Growing up, we were always learning. My mom would take me to origami classes one week. The next we'd learn flower arranging. Every week, my dad would buy new books until our house was filled to the brim.
And once I learned to read, they never discouraged me from reading any book I wanted. Sometimes, they would warn me if they thought the book was too scary or mature for me. But they never kept books or learning from me.
So once they realized I needed more than they could provide with their homeschooling, and I started high school, I was mesmerized.
It was the first time I had structure to my learning. And I loved it. I still do.
But that eagerness to learn is fighting with my annoyance as I get to the first class of the new year.
"Woah," Bella says as I approach them. "What is going on here?" She holds out her palm toward me and makes a wide circle.
"Nice hair," Tim says and nods without removing his arms from around Bella as she turns around, leaning her back against his chest.
"Thanks," I say.
"Yeah, the hair looks awesome," Bella says. "But your energy is practically strangling me."
I half roll my eyes at Bella's dramatics. It's not for nothing she's a theater major.
"It's nice to see you too," I say.
"Why are you in such a bad mood? Do you not like your new hair?"
"I love my hair."
"As you should." She looks at me demandingly with her big eyes and I sigh.
"I've told you about Kat's brother, right?"
Tim laughs. "The hockey star? Yeah, you may have mentioned him."
I scowl at him but decide to ignore him and turn to Bella. "He keeps acting as if he has every right in the world to control Kat, and it's pissing me off."
"In what way is he controlling?" Bella asks while Tim nuzzles her.
Around us, bleary-eyed students are sinking into sofas or just onto the floor against a wall, waiting for class to start.
"He keeps checking up on her, and he hates that she's in a relationship. Acting as if she needs his approval."
"Maybe he's just a bit overprotective?"
I scoff. "And maybe the Sahara is just a bit sandy."
"Maybe he's insecure," Tim says. "Some guys can't handle women not needing them. They think their masculinity is tied to being able to control women they feel are under their protection. It's like they need to assert some kind of dominance."
Bella looks up at him. "Is that what you're doing here?" She pats his arms that are holding her tightly and he gives her a big grin.
"Maybe," I say and frown. "He doesn't seem insecure, but he does act it sometimes."
"I hate guys like that," Bella says. "They don't value women as equals." She turns her head back to Tim. "You never act that way."
"Because I have no reason to be insecure. I found my perfect partner." He leans in and kisses her and I groan out loud.
They laugh.
"Stop being so freaking adorable."
"Get on the app," Bella says. "Maybe you'll find someone to be adorable with as well."
"I will."
Bella's older sister made a dating app and is testing it out on UNI students. I promised I'd try it out, but so far I've only chosen a username and written a quick profile.
"You know," Tim says. "If this guy bothers you so much, maybe you need to do something about it."
"Like what? I already punched him in the face and that didn't help."
Bella gets excited. "Oh, I just read a book where a woman gets revenge on a guy by doing a glam up and seducing him. She made him fall in love with her and then she dumped him." She grins at me.
"And how did the book end?" Tim asks expectantly.
Bella blushes. "Well, she fell in love with him and they ended up together. But that's just because it was a book."
"Mhmm," Tim says.
I shake my head. "I have no intention of spending any more time than I have to with that guy."
"Fair enough," Bella sighs.
"I just want Kat to be happy without him trying to make her feel guilty."
"Speaking of being happy, get on the app."
"I am," I say. "I downloaded it before Christmas and made a profile. I'm still not sold on it though. It seems weird to not even get a photo to react to."
"I appreciate you trying it. I would myself, if I wasn't so darned committed to this one. Flirting with other guys just doesn't seem right."
Tim squeezes her. "And that's why I'm not insecure."
"Anyway," Bella continues. "Trina got a whole bunch of people to sign up over the holidays, so you should check it out again. There should be loads more people on there to match with."
"I will." My phone buzzes and I take it out. "It's my mom," I say and take a few steps away from them before answering.
"You busy?" mom asks.
"I'm about to head into class in a few minutes." I slowly wander around the seating area toward the large windows.
"Your grandmother wants to come visit you and have dinner on Friday."
I stop. "Grandmother? As in your mom?"
"Yes, it would be odd if Declan's mom visited considering she's been dead for twenty-four years."
"Not much stranger than this. Why?"
"I think she just wants to get to know you. And she is paying for UNI."
"I mean, I suppose." I walk over to the window and stare out of it. So far, I've met my grandmother a total of four times, all within the last six months. "She's had nineteen years to get to know me, though. She could have contacted us at any point during that time."
"Yes, she could have. And if me and your dad could have sent you to UNI without her help, we would have. But at least she wants to be involved in our lives again."
"Yeah, because grandpa died, so we're all she has."
That had been a weird conversation. About a year ago, my mother sat me down and told me that my grandfather, a man I never met, had died.
I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know him. All I knew was what my mother told me and that he kicked her out. Was I supposed to be sad? Was it ok to not feel anything? I watched my mother, and I'm not sure if she knew what to feel either.
But after the news, grandma called one day. And when we found out I didn't get any scholarships, she had just stopped by for a visit and overheard.
She was making efforts to be part of our family and promised to pay my tuition with no strings attached.
We discussed it back and forth for a week, but in the end, the offer was too good to turn down.
"I'll have dinner with her. I can even show her around a bit."
"Thank you."
I hear the relief in my mother's voice and I know it means a lot to her. All these years she's been putting on a brave face. But the facade is starting to crack and I can tell she wants to have her mom in her life.
"It's fine."
Me, I'm not so sure I can just forget the fact that I grew up without grandparents because they couldn't accept that my mom fell in love with the "wrong" person. And worse still, got pregnant.
"I don't want you to compromise on who you are," my mother says all of a sudden. "I know she can be set in her ways. But I think she's really trying. She hasn't even commented on your hair since that first time. That's something that would have been an endless discussion when I grew up."
"It's blue now."
"Really? What kind of blue?"
"Like a steely, almost ashy blue with some hints of gray. But there are like hints of black underneath."
"You have to come visit before it fades so I can take some photos."
I laugh. "Not every fashion choice needs a photo session."
"You can say no. Just as I can ask. And you know you're my favorite subject. And now that you can consent, I would love having some photos of you in the gallery."
"Fine." I can't stop smiling. "I'll stop by soon. I'll even bring the facemask that looks like a skull."
"Perfect. God, I love that you're my daughter."
"I love you too. Say hi to dad."
"Will do. Bye."
I hang up and feel infinitely better as I head to class. Talking to my mom always does that.