When Jungkook softly knocked and opened the door, his eyes went on Yoongi who was already awake and was sitting on the bed, his hand held a diary. Jungkook's eyes widened when he saw the diary in his hands, upon the arrival of Jungkook, Yoongi lifted his head up and looked at Jungkook who was standing there with a tray in his hands. His vision was blurry due to his crying.
He couldn't resist crying as he read what Jungkook had written to him all these years.
"Hyung..." Jungkook softly whispers, he closes the door with his feet and places the tray on the side table before sitting on the bed in front of him. The whole room was darkened due to the blinds still closed. The only source of light was the lamp in the room.
"Kook I-" Yoongi closes the diary and wipes his tears. Jungkook bites his bottom lip and looks down on his lap.
"I am sorry I shouldn't have invaded your privacy" Yoongi apologizes as Jungkook smiles and shakes his head in no, still refusing to lift his head up and look at the person he has devoted everything to. Yoongi has now read all of his feelings. Feelings he wrote in the diary thinking maybe one day these messages would be relayed to Yoongi.
Someone who was once so far away from him.
But now that Yoongi has actually read them, he feels so nervous and weird. Scared of what Yoongi might be thinking of him.
"I love you so much Kook" Yoongi whispers, Jungkook's eyes grow wide as he looks at Yoongi who continues to spill his tears freely. Jungkook's throat had grown dry. He didn't know what to say.
"You wanna know why I started hating piano?" Yoongi asks as Jungkook blinks and then softly nods. Yoongi looks down on his fingers and starts fiddling with them.
"It all started when I was 15 years old"
+++
"Welcome you must be Min Yoongi! I have heard so much about you, your audition has left everyone in awe" Bang Sihyuk comments. Yoongi silently stands there and looks at Sihyuk.
"May I ask how long has it been since you started playing Piano?" Sihyuk asked, he had a wide grin on his lips which annoyed Yoongi but he silently stood in the middle of the room which had no one aside from Yoongi and Sihyuk. Apparently, this was his office.
"Since I was 5"
"Oh My! What a talented guy you are! You are surely going to be a superstar!" Yoongi was already irritated from the conversation and just wanted to end the talk. Sensing the irritation in Yoongi, Sihyuk smiles awkwardly and grabs his phone before calling someone.
"Yeah, come to my office I have someone to introduce you to," Shihyuk says and hangs up, it took less than 2 minutes for this someone to appear. And all it took was for him to enter. Yoongi was bewildered by his appearance, he was so handsome and well-dressed that Yoongi physically flinched at his attractiveness.
"It was Namjoon" Yoongi comments as he softly sighs and steals a quick glance at Jungkook who seemed lost.
"To me, Namjoon was the most handsome and attractive person I saw at that time... you can say it was love at first sight" Yoongi chuckles feeling pathetic at his old self. Jungkook looks at Yoongi feeling a ping of jealousy.
"I didn't want to audition and play in front of people" Jungkook blinked confused as Yoongi looked at him and smiles.
"In fact, I hated the idea of playing in front of people so much that I often thought of killing myself or running away"
Jungkook was so confused.
Why did he hate playing in front of people so much??
"And the reason was my social anxiety..." Yoongi confessed, he felt embarrassed. Jungkook widened his eyes, he never knew Yoongi had social anxiety.
"Then why did I audition you ask?" Yoongi sighs and leans his head back, his eyes closing.
"Because it was the dying wish of my precious mother"
+++
"Yoongi... promise me you will grow up and become a superstar. That you will show your skills and live a happy life.." Yoongi cried hysterically and grabbed his mother's hand who was on her death bed. He was trembling from fear. The fear of being left alone.
"MOM PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yoongi cries out loudly, his mother laughs and caresses his cheek.
"I will be always with you Yoongi... just live a happy life"
"I thought maybe by performing in front of people and showcasing my skills... I will live happily..." Yoongi's eyes once again got teary so he kept them closed. It has been so long since he last cried over his mother.
"And I was so wrong about it"
"Yoongi! What's wrong?!" Namjoon panics as he sees Yoongi run into the practice room right after the performance. His breathing was harsh, his hand trembling with sweat running down his forehead. He was feeling so weak that he had to balance himself by leaning his weight on the wall from falling down.
"Leave" Yoongi manages to let out with a shaky breath. Namjoon pauses and looks at Yoongi with concern.
"Yoongi if you're not feeling okay I can call the doc-"
"I SAID LEAVE!!" Yoongi yells and loses his balance. He fell down on the floor yet he didn't care and leaned against the wall. Namjoon furrowed his brows and continued to stare at him with concern but still slowly backed away and left.
"It happened every time... during the performance, I managed to stay calm by drowning myself in the music but as soon as it was gone... I was so... so messed up" Yoongi whispers. Jungkook was listening to this all and all he could think of was how brave and strong Yoongi was.
"Namjoon soon got used to it and left me on my own..." Jungkook internally scoffed. He couldn't have expected him to be any better.
"But I was so in love with Namjoon that everything he did seemed like a blessing to me" Yoongi slowly opened his eyes, his lashes were wet from the tears he had been holding in. He had no courage to look at Jungkook as he unfolded all his truth.
The truth about his life.
How he actually lived his life.
"Soon... I started wanting to stop performing as it only continued to bring me displeasure I didn't desire"
"But Namjoon insisted on me staying..." Yoongi looks back at Jungkook. Jungkook was staring at him but his eyes were lost. Yoongi wondered what was he thinking right now.
"He stole my first kiss" Jungkook was snatched back to his self when he heard Yoongi. He widened his eyes and looked at Yoongi even though he was already looking at him. Yoongi chuckles.
"I was so happy when he first kissed me... I thought I won... I thought maybe now was the time that I finally got to live happily but I was so wrong... Namjoon was drunk when he kissed me and he had no intentions of having me as his lover..." Yoongi sadly looks back at his slim fingers.
"Maybe I wasn't worth enough of his love..." Yoongi whispers. Jungkook grits his teeth once again feeling his hatred for Namjoon grow once again.
"And then... one day I finally lost it when he said that it was a mistake... even though I didn't have any plan on committing suicide that day... when Namjoon told me the night he kissed me was a mistake... I thought my world was crushed" He whimpers feeling like crying.
"It was enough to destroy me from inside and outside..."
"So I did it..."
"I tried to kill mys-" Yoongi was suddenly cut off from a kiss. Jungkook grabbed his neck and he kissed him hard. Yoongi's eyes widened but he smiled and slowly creeped his hand upon Jungkook's neck and deepened the kiss. When Jungkook broke the kiss he pressed his forehead against Yoongi's. One hand caresses Yoongi's cheek and the other caresses his hair.
"Collapse into me just once Hyung..." Jungkook whispers softly, his eyes teary as he looks at Yoongi whose eyes are stuck on Jungkook.
They both stared into each other's soul and they didn't even have to say words. Their eyes held so many words.
Words they both could understand.
"And I promise you will never have to fall again" Yoongi smiles and pecks Jungkook who gladly accepts it and returns it back.
"Then you have me Jungkook..." Yoongi starts catching Jungkook's attention, Yoongi's voice sounded husky and deep.
"Until every last star of the galaxy dies..." Yoongi kisses him again and then his forehead.
"You have me"