It was still early in the morning and the hotel lobby was relatively quiet, so the sound of my footsteps echoed loudly inside.
Clack, clack.
Halfway through the polished marble floor, another sound stopped me.
"Oh? Lee Taemin?"
When I turned my head to hear a familiar voice, PD Jeong was looking at me with surprised eyes. He was just approaching me at the entrance to the cafe on one side of the hotel lobby.
"Didn't you go to sleep with the other group? What are you doing here?"
"I had some business to do. What about the director?"
"Oh, I also have some business to attend to. I'm meeting someone."
I knew who he was going to see the moment I saw his bitterly smiling face. Director Yoon, who invested in him. I pondered about the man sleeping above me. He plainly stated that he would sleep for an hour, but was he actually making PD Jeong wait on purpose? I was skeptical, but Producer Jeong explained everything to me.
"Do you have time now? I have something to talk about. I arrived an hour and a half earlier than the scheduled time because I was afraid that if I slept, I wouldn't be able to wake up."
I nodded and followed him into the cafe. In addition to a coffee cup, his seat was littered with scenarios, notebooks, and pens. However, what stood out the most was the ashtray, which already had several butts visible.
"What are you drinking Taemin?"
When the waitress arrived and delivered us the menu, PD Jeong swiftly put the scripts away and made place on the table. When I looked at the prices, which were twice as expensive as other locations, I saw that PD Jeong's coffee was cheapest. PD Jeong must have seen my gaze and gave an uneasy smile.
"I want to wake up a little bit. By the way, Taemin, you didn't eat breakfast, right? Whatever you eat..."
"The director hasn't eaten either, right?"
"Huh? Ah... I'm just fine with coffee."
It's probably fine because it's the cheapest. I looked up at the waiter and pointed to the most expensive breakfast set on the menu.
"Could you please bring me two of these? And the bill can be sent to room 1208."
The staff replied ' Yes? ' surprised, I said my name and told him to call him immediately to confirm. After he left, I pointed up and briefly explained to PD Jung who was still blinking.
"Someone owes me money."
Only then did he respond 'Ah~' and accept it. And, as we were conversing about nothing in particular, an employee approached me and informed me that it had been confirmed. As the waiter was ready to go, something occurred to me, and I stopped him.
"Bring me the two most expensive ice-creams here."
I decided to take out the cake on my way out, when I heard PD Jeong mumbling.
"Ah, I also thought Taemin had come to see Director Yoon, but that's probably not the case."
When I looked up, he smiled shyly again.
"In reality, I came to meet Dream's Director Yoon. So I was wondering if Taemin had come to meet him because they are from the same company, but because you mentioned the person owed money, I'm guessing it wasn't Director Yoon."
I didn't think there was any need to deliberately tell him, so I changed the topic to another direction.
"You have something to tell me."
PD Jung said, 'That's right.' and picked up the pen and pulled the notebook closer. Then his left hand turned over the script.
"As you know, because future xx scenes have to be changed to Taemin's role, I am currently editing the script."
Some places in the script were folded, as if he had indicated in advance where he would change. He stopped running his hand through the folds and raised his eyes.
"The content is not changed, but the lines are just modified to fit the changed character, so there is no major problem."
It was not a problem for him, but for me it was a bit of a surprise. So that means my scenes will suddenly increase. Perhaps because I was looking at him with an expressionless expression, he continued to speak quickly.
"And you know, Taemin, you're not good at acting, right?"
He glanced up at me as if checking. When I nodded slightly to indicate no objection, he added with a smile.
"But at that time, Taemin was the only actor I found suitable because even in front of the camera, there was no stress and fear in you. So, I don't expect outstanding acting skills from Taemin. Still, it has to look natural enough to not break the flow of the play... So the method is to reflect Taemin's actual appearance to some extent in the role."
Do you understand what I mean? He asked with his eyes, I replied 'Yes'. The main thing I learned in acting class was how to analyze a character and become a different person. Of course, as a beginner, it takes me a long time to study my character. However, PD Jeong doesn't have time to wait for me now. So the only way was to reveal my true self as he said. But will that work? The doubts disappeared with PD Jeong's words.
"Fortunately, Mr. Taemin is actually very dry, so you're in luck. So, I would like Taemin to read the lines I want to change and tell me which one he is more comfortable with."
He told me his ultimate goal of why he wanted to meet me and gave me the notebook with the changed script. After that, we ate the ordered meal and discussed editing the lines until PD Jung's appointment time. The job wasn't as boring as I thought, on the contrary, it was quite fun, so when PD Jung stopped, I looked up with questioning eyes.
"Let's continue next time. Now it's time for Director Yoon to come down."
Only then did I look at the clock and realize that an hour had passed. So fast? It was a bit of a surprise, so I tilted my head slightly to help him arrange a seat. Then I added casually.
"When you meet Director Yoon, ask for more production costs."
PD Jung smiled bitterly, recalling the situation where he had to eat kimbap because he couldn't afford a decent meal.
"When I first received support, I promised to produce within that limit, so it's difficult to receive more."
Why make such useless promises? I promised myself, that I should to order more cakes to spend the guy's money, but he asked with surprised voice.
"But were you worried about me?"
"No. Not really."
He brought his hand to a halt and raised his gaze. I handed him the final script and opened my lips to clarify.
"Because you look excited. You look so excited about filming a movie. So I'm not worried."
Still looking at me silently, he slowly opened his mouth and smiled.
"That's right. It's a movie that I'm going to produce as I want without anyone interfering, so I'm actually excited even though there are problems every day."
However, the smile quickly turned into a frown.
"After this, I won't be able to film a movie for a while."
Even though he said that, he didn't seem sad, so the question came out easily.
"Are you planning on doing something else?"
"Ah... that's a bit..."
He had an ambiguous expression on his face, and suddenly called out my name.
"Taemin."
"Yes."
"You can never predict what will happen to people. Right? I used to film a drama while being treated like a king by the agency's executives, but now even the actor who cried and said he wouldn't forget my grace always switches off his phone when I call. A decent personality, recognized for not getting angry and being effective at enticing top stars, is being challenged as evidence of incompetence."
Contrary to the content, a comfortable smile appeared on his face.
"So, Taemin, when an opportunity arises, you should seize it well."
Opportunity; was he referring to the increased screen time of this role? I nodded, and he had a smile in his eyes, like someone with a secret.
"If it hadn't been for this film, if the production costs hadn't been so high, I would never have cast Taemin. You're a newcomer, who isn't particularly good at acting, or visually pleasing. But this is how we became acquainted."
I didn't understand what he was trying to say, but I couldn't stop his soft, muttering words.
"So show me. That you're an immature, but your acting shows that you can still be useful. No, perform it so good that it gives one chills and makes them want to use you again."
I had to nod repeatedly before I was told to go home. I left the hotel with a box of cakes in both hands and glanced up at the 12th floor..... 'I have to accept the price even if i didn't want it?' Okay, it's dirty, but I'll accept the unwanted price. He clearly said he would give me whatever I wanted in return.
So now, shall we start looking forward to it? Revenge was coming more clearly.
Despite the fact that the name is merely a motel, you usually wake up smelling mildew and the stench of a dirty bathroom in an establishment that is more shabby than an inn. I'm not sure if the manger got a discount for staying long term or not, but the innkeeper didn't even come to clean our room properly. Anyway, I was so busy that I didn't even have time to wash up or sleep. As a result, there was constantly a yellow blanket strewn about on the floor. I'm used to hearing the manager snore as soon as I lie down, so when I don't hear it, my eyes open automatically.
Holding cake in hand, I went straight to our accommodation in a remote place, I thought of Hansoo and the manager who were sleeping there right now due to the fatigue that came with it. Since the filming starts after lunch time, the alarm should be set at around 12 o'clock. Keeping the time in mind, I crossed the parking lot behind the motel quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep a little more. But the conjecture that the other two were sleeping soundly in the room was wrong. I was almost at the back door when a faint voice caught my attention.
I stopped. As I was about to step through the open back door, I realized that the voice was not unfamiliar to me. Silently, walking without a sound, I turned to the side of the building. Even with the windows closed, I could still see the road leading to the small hill, which caused all kinds of insects to fly into the room. And then I saw Hansoo standing towards the hill. Holding a script in his hand and acting .
"... I am also going to Seoul. I want to find a job there. Someone told me to work here, but I didn't tell my parents. If I went to Seoul..."
Hansoo read the lines with clear pronunciation as if someone was really standing in front of him. Maybe he already knew it by heart so he didn't need to look down at the script and even dropped his hand in a natural motion. For quite some time I stood in the corner, unable to move until he had finished speaking. The lines Hansoo spoke was the line I said at dawn. I was lucky to get the role because I wasn't nervous in front of the camera. I couldn't completely recall how I did it correctly since I was nervous, but I didn't think about forcing myself to think about it again. Because I thought it was already over.
But after finishing my lines and seeing Hansoo now acting out the main character's lines, I suddenly lost sleep. Yes, I wasn't the only one there. There was Hansoo, and even though they were extras, there were two newcomers like me. Even if that role had fallen to me, I didn't care what they thought when they saw it. I had no idea how much they wanted to act. I'm curious how Hansoo, who is far more skilled than me, may have felt. He must have felt envious and sad that he couldn't overcome his fear of cameras. Still, I remembered how thrilled he and my manager were that my screen time had increased.
The fact that his happy expression was sincere chilled my waking mind. Since when did that guy practice all his roles? The lines that flowed out of his mouth in a familiar way told me how often he had practiced, but I couldn't guess. Although he seemed to read the script every now and then, he had no time to practice separately. Even when we sleep in the same room... Ah that's right. Only then did I understand why I was always the first to wake up before the other two. He practices while I'm sleeping. Always like that.
The image of Hansoo's back didn't disappear from my mind until I turned around and entered the motel. And when I arrived at the door of the dorm, I found out that Hansoo wasn't the only one who wasn't sleeping. The manager's voice speaking on the phone could be heard faintly outside the door.
"Yep. I'm eating properly. Did you receive your money this month? First, pay the overdue academy fees. I'll send you more next month. The new actor is doing better than I expected, thus the company is doing me well. Yes, it's true. Really good. He doesn't shy away from hard work and does it all, and he's a good kid. ...Yes, no, it's fine. Don't worry, all of my expenses are paid for by the company. Please express my apologies to mother-in-law. No! I'm not sure I want to go. I can't come due to work. We don't even have a home, yet we're not the only ones receiving.Why are you crying again ? It's okay I said. I'll start saving money again soon..."
The voice gradually became inaudible, but it took a long time for me to move from where I was standing. I went outside again, sat on the floor, and placed the cake box close to the entry stairs. Once awake, my sleep was completely gone, but I had no time to enjoy the refreshing morning air. I kept hearing PD Jung's suggestion when we parted ways in my head. PD Jung's request that I heard when we parted ways kept appearing in my mind.
'So, Taemin, when an opportunity arises, you should seize it well.'
Opportunity. I thought it was just insignificant luck. And I had no idea that I needed to take Producer Jung's advice to work harder seriously. Of course. The first reason I'm still an actor is for revenge. So it didn't matter if I went in now and rested my tired body. But I couldn't move and just stared up at the sky until my head hurt.
When I finally looked down from the almost cloudless sky, the cake next to me caught my eye. Maybe I should have bought a sandwich. With a little regret, I got up and entered the motel. In my head, I was thinking about my script in the corner of the room.
///
I handed the cake to the supporting staff members and sat at the far end of the parking lot, wiping my sleep-deprived eyes. This hideout was a little abandoned factory site on the outskirts of town, but thankfully, the owner granted permission to use it as long as it was only for a short length of time because it was vacant land. It was first cast as a site for a movie, but filming took a long time, so people settled there. Nonetheless, it was a location where we could leave various pieces of equipment and hired trucks without getting caught in the rain or dew, so we naturally gathered here.
There was the inconvenience of having to keep an eye on the equipment, so 2-3 people would always take turns staying in the tent, but it was a comfortable place to rest when filming was delayed, as it is now. The director had gone somewhere with the camera director and assistant director and had not yet come, as though to check if there was a problem with the following scene.
"Huh? You don't eat cake?"
Hansoo, who had a lot of cream on his mouth, came towards me, giggling pleasantly. He was holding two slices of cake in each hand that appeared to have been torn off by hand, so I narrowed my eyes and glared. If you come close and put cream on me, you will die. Then, shocked, Hansoo stepped back, realizing the veiled warning. Being wary of Hansoo, though, was futile.
"Hahaha~ How is this cake is so delicious? Taemin, hurry up and eat some too... Ugh!"
The manager ran over with a piece of cake in both hands like Hansoo, tripping over a rock and falling over.
"Whoa~!"
The manager, who narrowly avoided falling over while making an exaggerated noise, stretched out his legs forward to maintain his balance and smiled in relief.
"Haha, did you see it? My flexibility without falling even when holding a cake in both hands. It's all because my back supports it..."
The manager was in the middle of talking when he suddenly realized the piece of cake in one of his hands had disappeared. Then, while looking for the piece of cake that fell off, he turned around and looked at me. Exactly on my upper body covered in cake.
"..."
"..."
I looked up at him, wiping the cream off his face with my hand, and he took a step back.
"... Are you angry?"
Instead of answering, I vigorously shook the cream off my hands onto the floor. The manager walked next to Hansoo and asked in a trembling voice.
"... Are you going to hit me?"
"Can I hit you?"
He flinched, and hid behind Hansoo, who was equally surprised, as if he was gonna cry.
"I have herniated disc..."
Where is the flexibility of the back? When I held out my hand to ask for a tissue, the two of them chuckled and nestled against my side. For a moment, I really wanted to hit him but then I felt a little vibration from my phone in my back pocket. I cleaned my hands with the tissue my manager had given me and took out my phone, the two of them had already reacted before.
"It's the madman!"
When the manager was still in shock, Hansoo jumped up and ran off somewhere.
"Uhaahh aaaaaaa!"
A moment later, seeing the dictionary in his hand, I understood what he was shouting with his mouth full of two pieces of cake. Probably said that he would bring the dictionary, so as soon as he sat in front of me, he opened the dictionary and looked at it with fierce eyes.
"Ah hurry! This time I will definitely be right, you madman!"
The manager next to him gave me the same look and reinforced his resolve, but instead of feeling reassured by having new teammates, I felt annoyed. I looked at the text messages on my phone under pressure from the two people. It was, indeed, a problem sent by the madman.
[What is the capital of Lithuania?]
"..."
"..."
"..."
Tap.
After a long silence, the dictionary that Hansoo dropped broke the silence, but even after that we couldn't open our mouths. But I'm sure he felt the same way as I did.
Ah really, this damn madman...
It's been three weeks since I came down to xx city. The longer we shot in the locality, the higher the cost of filming, therefore we worked extremely hard on the film without taking a single day off. To put it another way, time is money. So PD Jung didn't waste a single day, setting a precedent for how low-budget films should be shot. One of the reasons why production moved so swiftly was because the script was unspecific.
PD Jung purposefully did not jot down any props required for the script. There was a good chance he wouldn't be able to find the essential props on site, so he had to make a quick decision on the necessary props and connect them to the narrative. Because of this, lines were modified on the spot, and predicted situations were changed, improvising some parts were modified to be more suitable for the movie. Of course, there were times when we couldn't get the scene we wanted even after taking dozens of shots.
As a result, the crew had to run crazy, but there was no time to complain about the frantically filming schedule. If they came upon a spot they liked while heading to the next filming location, they stopped and shot right immediately. When it unexpectedly rained while filming, everyone got so relieved that they didn't have to use a water sprinkler, that they quickly wrapped the equipment in plastic and ran outside. Nonetheless, they took the time to check out the critical locations. We had to film a police station scene, and they had one person eat and sleep at the police station for five days until they received approval to film it.
The difficult days of not being able to sleep properly continued, and before I knew it, it had been 10 days since I met the madman at the hotel. And the film crews who filmed here before us were barely finishing filming after more than a month. In the meantime, the manager went up to Seoul a few times to run other errands, but Hansoo and I stayed here.
Meanwhile, Hansoo was known for his bright personality and hard work despite being camera-phobic, thus he was adored by staff members. On the other side, probably due to my unfriendly personality, I didn't have anyone to talk to. To be honest, I felt comfortable with this because I had plenty of time alone and could reread the script several times. So I had no idea that my behaviors might be seen differently by others.
I sat next to the lighting I was in in charge of from the morning and looked at the tattered scripts again, because I spent a lot more time sitting and waiting than being on camera. I could film all of the essential shots here tomorrow and then return to Seoul, but it wasn't a very comfortable situation for me. I appeared in one of the final scenes. It was a scene where I just ran without any dialogue, but after that, I had to act quite surprised when I reached the place i ran to. I couldn't quite grasp it, so I kept picturing it in my head.
"What are you worried about?"
A voice came from above, and I looked up and saw an actor, the main character of the movie. He was said to have a typical appearance, like one you might see on the street, and he was originally a theater actor who acted in movies primarily as a supporting role. He made a connection with Pd Jung after appearing in his previous film and agreed to appear here for free. Regarding the remarks PD Jung made while drinking, he stated that he was the only person who performed properly in the second movie.
He acted so well, in my opinion, that I felt the main character in the play might be him in real life. He was more interested in theater than film, and he said he will return to theater after this film, so there would be few opportunities to work together again. And he was one of the few people who spoke to me openly.
Thud.
He sat down in front of me and said, 'Give it to me.' He held out his hand. I turned the page I was looking at and handed it to him.
"Ah~ this scene. Well, it's actually more difficult to act without lines."
I feigned to understand what he was saying as he flipped to the back page and I opened my mouth.
"I'm not worried."
Then, the corners of his mouth rose. He raised his eyes with an expression as if he knew I was going to say that.
"Wow, isn't it amazing? Some people say your way of speaking is offensive, but after speaking with you, it doesn't appear that way."
Oh, there are people who think I'm offensive. I looked around and spotted a few people I could guess, I heard him say, 'How should I explain this...'. He opened his mouth and stared into space for a time, as though remembering an analogy.
"Is it like a robot saying, 'I love you,' but without emotion?"
"..."
"Oh, it's not meant as an insult. That, I believe, is why you blend in so well with the character you're portraying in the movie."
But I didn't understand what he was saying. The director mentioned something similar as well. He thought it would be natural because I appeared to be similar to the character. But the character and I had very little in common. He was a model student who studied in a normal household with both of his parents, obtained a nice career, and was a perfectionist and very neat guy. Except for the fact that the main character was his only friend, he had a normal demeanor. But I didn't think we were alike. Is it feasible for someone who has lived a different life than mine to share my sentiments and feelings?
"He's the opposite of me."
I looked down at the script and frowned slightly.
"But it's awkward to play that role with my own emotions."
Although quickly, he managed to understand my concerns.
"You can't accept this role as yourself, can you? Being in a specific environment and thinking if you can do the lines this way."
I nodded, and he gave me a pleasant smile.
"It's okay. It's a reasonable concern. In such instances, it is useful to seek advise from people around you. As I said before, you have the personality to play the part in this play successfully. You feel dry, so if you try too hard to act like someone else, it will just fall apart. So, in order to save it, it's okay to erase the characters in the play from your mind to some extent."
'Did I make it more complicated?' I shook my head at him. Then I reached out my hand, took the script from him, and reread it. 'Erase it to some extent.' Can someone who lives such a normal life be similar to me? I started by getting rid of the doubt in my head. And I simplified his existence, which I couldn't grasp, by changing it in my own way.
It was a boring existence for a model student who simply studied. You must be persistent and suppress yourself. Furthermore, if you have to keep things tidy and be responsible for the task till the end... These will progressively eliminate the things you want, desire, and enjoy. It seemed as if the me within was gradually fading away. The previous five years then blurred together. I was alive and breathing, yet I didn't exist. When I looked up later, I faced his weird gaze.
"Is it resolved?"
"Yes."
When I nodded lightly, he stared and then opened his mouth.
"Okay, then tell me. You have to run fast with me, check the grave, and be surprised. I'll stand there, devastated, and cry. What line are you gonna tell me? 'I'm sorry.' That is all there is to it. How would you express it?"
"I'll take a step back."
I explained slowly to him.
"I'm not used to comforting anyone. And because I believe it is fully up to that person to let out their emotions, I think it is rude to stand next to them. So I'll just say 'I'm sorry'. I intend to take a step back until I'm no longer visible on the screen and only my voice is heard."
"..."
"What's wrong?"
When I asked about the strange stare he was giving me, a smile slowly appeared on his face. He was four years older than me, but his expression somehow felt pure.
"I'll tell you right now that I was surprised to learn that you had only been acting for a month. But I soon realized that it was very lucky. If the first role is a role that you can play easily, wouldn't it be great luck? Furthermore, next to you..."
He turned his eyes to see Hansoo playing around with the staff.
"Isn't there another unlucky genius?"
He threw a joke and shrugged.
"So your luck seemed bigger. That's probably why other people think you're a jerk."
"So you're telling me to be humble?"
I asked him in a harsh tone that others would think was offensive, but he smiled and shook his head.
"No. I had just wanted to let you know that luck sometimes can be poison you. A role that is easy to play is appealing at first, but it will never help you improve your acting skills. In the end, if you exclusively hunt for roles that you are good at, you will wind up acting in stereotypical ways, become more and more reluctant to take on other roles, and eventually fall apart. And this is far from uncommon."
I listened to his advice and discovered something strange. 'I had just wanted to let you know.' I vaguely realized that his words were in the past tense, so I just looked at him quietly. Sure enough, what came out next was different from before.
"But maybe..."
He trailed off and tilted his head to the side.
"Perhaps you don't need any advice. I believe you are a genius who cannot be recognized by luck."
Are you kidding me? I looked at him questionably, but his face didn't look like he was joking. He must have noticed that I looked like I didn't believe him, so he added one more thing.
"Weren't you born with a strong heart that doesn't get nervous?"
When I responded with a look of disagreement, he chuckled and stood up.
"So Taemin, maybe you only need one thing."
"What?"
"A heart that is determined to do something. Ah, I sometimes wonder if this is really what you want to do."
He turned back, mumbling that the director was late, and asked the staff in a loud voice.
"Why hasn't the director come yet?"
From afar, someone said, 'He left in a hurry because a guest suddenly arrived.' I listened to the explanation with one ear and turned my head when I heard my name being called.
"Taemin-ah."
As soon as the advisor went away, the manager who had appeared as if he had been waiting, looked back with curious eyes.
"What were you talking about so seriously?"
{'I sometimes wonder if this is really what you want to do.'}
Remembering his last words, I answered him that it was not important. But this time Hansoo rushed over.
"Ah! Come, s-she's here."
Even if that wasn't the case, the filming set went silent, and I knew who came there right away. An actress who appears in a supporting role. Even though PD Jung had complete creative control over this film, there were some elements that could not be avoided. The person who made the initial investment stipulated that they must hire a specific actress. It was her first time acting, as it was mine, and she had connections, such as being the granddaughter of her uncle's best friend, the manager of an investment firm.
There weren't a lot of scenes in which she appeared, but thankfully her acting wasn't too bad, and the director accepted it; the problem was her behavior. Every time she arrived, she arrived in a celebrity van, complete with a manager and coordinator, as if she were a big star. Of course, she expected everyone to treat her like a top star. She was so fussy about her chair that she brought her own. She sobbed and called her grandfather the last time she arrived since she didn't have her own chair, and after a while, the manager of the investment company called with a fatigued voice.
PD Jung mentioned that because she didn't have many scenes, we should just bear it and move on, everyone hoped that her filming would be over soon. Today was the long-awaited final day. The familiar white van arrived on the site and came to a halt. Everyone came to a stop and peered at the van, then the door opened and the princess emerged. She looked pitifully thin, stared at us as if we were beggars, and walked to a shady seat prepared for her. In reality, because they didn't have many opportunities to wash, everyone indeed looked like a beggar.
"I heard her father works at the Blue House."
Hansoo whispered as he looked at the princess and the manager.
"I heard her uncle is a lawyer."
"Her management company was also founded by her grandfather."
"I heard that the only artists working with the company are the princess and her two friends."
"That friend is that stylist."
As I listened to the serious conversation between the two, a questions arose. Why do they know so much? However, their knowledge of princesses was endless.
"Isn't there a show where dozens of regular people appear on a panel and solve problems with celebrities? She moved in front of the broadcasting station after appearing on the panel there because she felt inconvenient about people recognizing her on the streets."
"But other than this movie, she's been doing nothing for two months."
When I opened my mouth to ask why they knew that so well, the vibration in my pocket surprised me. The two people who were discussing the princess's secret instantly widened their eyes and turned around when I took out my phone. Then they both stood up and went to get the dictionary, globe map, and common sense books. However, when I saw the text message on the screen, I stopped the two with my hand.
[The 2nd floor of the building opposite]