-Keep the change-
The rooftop of the building was decorated like a garden. There were rows of trees taller than humans, and benches in between. This place, which was used as a resting place, was not crowded because it was early in the morning after 1.30 am. It was time to go to bed and sleep but my mind was very clear. I leaned against a chest-high wall and looked down at the scattered world that was like the red light of a cigarette butt. I've decided to take revenge, but there was still something holding me back. It was a pretty funny worry. What if I get so caught up in revenge and forget my faults? Until now, paying back the money has been a reminder to me like an alarm: you're paying for your sins now. What used to be a clear indicator has disappeared now, and now that I was concerned about someone else's sins, I feel useless anxiety. I made a mistake and I still have a lot more to atone for. I mustn't forget that.
Then I suddenly thought, was I always this kind of person? I held back the bitter smile that was about to come out. I thought that my previous self came out, determined to take revenge, but the past five years must have had a great influence on me. Then I realised. The indicators that I need to punish myself are already in my head. A clear memory of that day five years ago was enough. Even as time goes by, I remember the feeling of entering an empty house as clear as yesterday. The room where the owner
was stuffed with traces of life. Suddenly, I wanted to smoke. I haven't smoked in five years, but I guess my desire for cigarettes has revived along with myself from five years ago. Or maybe it was because of the faint smell of cigarettes. I must not have been the only one on the rooftop, as the smell was mixed with the wind as it blew. I took a step and went inside. Someone was biting a cigarette in front of a tall tree in the middle. I couldn't see his face well because it was dark, but I couldn't stand the desire for a smoke that had suddenly revived, and approached him.
"Can I have a cigarette?"
When I spoke, he glanced away as if nothing had happened. I wanted to give up at this point because I thought he was a jerk with that attitude of ignoring me, but the smell flowed strongly into me again in the wind.
"I'm not asking for it for free. I just need one."
Plop.
A burning cigarette fell near my feet. The other party's intentions were too obvious; smoke it and shut up. I looked down at it, which was still burning red, as I heard footsteps turning around. I bent down and picked up the cigarette that fell on the floor and bit in my mouth. The end was unpleasantly wet because it had been in someone else's mouth, but I didn't care. As I inhaled, the smoke ran down my throat and spread inside. Perhaps because it's been a while since I last smoked, I felt a little dizzy for a moment. But there was no problem doing what was needed.
"Wait a minute."
Fortunately, when I called the person who had already started walking away, he turned around. I could see his expressionless face stopped under the lamp. Looking at him, I took a coin out of my pocket and threw it.
Clink, clink. Drrr~
As I looked at the 200 won coin that rolled a little and then stopped, I added.
"Keep the change."
And I tried to turn around, I paused as I saw his lips slowly curve upwards as he looked at the coin. There was even a small dimple next to the lips. People whose eyes naturally curve when they smile make a good impression. At that moment, I felt like I had seen it somewhere, but a light laugh interrupted my thoughts.
"You miscalculated, idiot."
The person in front of me could have made a good impression, given that smiling face and soft voice. However, the meaning of the words from him was the opposite. This tremendous difference made me alert. That smiling face and the familiar way of speaking. At that moment, tension rushed down the spine. There was only one thing that came to mind. He's a madman.
"Are your ears blocked?"
I stared at him while listening to the urge of his gentle voice. Then I saw the non-smiling eyes on his face. Was it because I fought a bit in the past and did bad things? That experience naturally allowed me to know who was stronger than me. Even if I get down on my knees, or deal with him, I would be the only one who suffers. The problem was me. Because I'm sure I won't get down on my knees.
"That's right. I miscalculated. That's why I told you to keep the change."
The corners of his eyes curved even more. But I couldn't smile.
"Change? Ah, this."
He stretched out his hand, showed me the 200 won, and added kindly.
"Sure. If you give me 200 million won, this would be the change."
200 million won for a half-smoked cigarette? Is that jerk trying to strike a fortune with a cigarette that was thrown away.
"Don't talk nonsense."
He replied coldly in a lazy tone.
"Should I tell you my one secret? I don't make jokes."
The words came out lightly like a joke, but there was a cold look in his non-smiling eyes.
"The price is determined by the seller. If you had asked me for cigarettes in the first place, you should have thought about the price."
I frowned and stared at him.
"Who are you?"
As if the question was unexpected, the smile vanished for a moment but the lips soon returned to their original curves.
"I'm sick of this. You've probably heard something from somewhere and taken a similar approach to what I'm looking for, but I've already come across people like you several times."
I couldn't lift my frown as I tried to understand the bored voice. A similar approach? People like me? As I opened my mouth to tell him to stop talking nonsense, I suddenly remembered the first time I came here. There were high school girls waiting for someone outside the building with eyes full of anticipation. Ah, right. This was an entertainment agency. Did he mistake me for those kind of fans? I stared him in the face again. The more I looked at it, the more familiar it seemed. However, it was clear that I didn't know this person.
"You must be mistaken, I don't know how famous of an actor you are, but even 200 won is too much for me."
"... Actor?"
"Or are you a singer?"
"..."
He smiled and stared at me with a somewhat languid gaze. What, was he a comedian? I was surprised, but I heard a dry question.
"Don't you belong to this agency?"
"No... Not yet."
To my answer, he murmured, "'Not yet' huh," and took a step closer to me. As he approached, my hands tensed up subconsciously. But then as he stopped, he suddenly smiled.
"Let me correct myself. You are quite interesting, so I'll give you a discount. However, only if your value increases. Go through the interview first. Then I will give you a 1% discount."
What interview? Anyway, it was absurd to have to pay more than that.
"That's funny."
"I'm sad. I even told you the secret that I don't joke."
I frowned again at the languid voice. Then, I threw the half-burnt cigarette in front of him.
"Let's do a refund. Give me my money."
But instead, he put the coin in his pocket and took another step closer.
"Take it* away from me. Then I'll give you a refund."
*t/n: as in the 200 won coin
The bored voice came from that smiling face again.
"Although I don't think you have the skills to do that."
It was clearly a provocation, and before I knew it, I raised my fist without realising it. But then in my head I remembered something, what the soda uncle told me.
"If you want to be an actor, your face is your life. If you're going to do it, you should never hurt your face from now on."
Tsk. Clicking my tongue, I took a step back. Seeing my actions, the other party looked disappointed.
"You don't look like a coward... Ah, is it because you're afraid your face will get injured?"
He hit the nail on the head. I was momentarily taken aback by his words, unable to respond. He was quick-witted, he smiled and approached me quickly. No, it was his fist that came first.
Pa!
I was hit in the stomach, which had been open because I was blocking my face. In an instant, I choked, and vibrations, along with pain, spread from the inside, starting from the affected area. I stumbled back and clenched my teeth and held out with two legs. Swish~ I turned my head to the side, and as his arm passed with a gust of wind, I quickly struck it with my hand and stretched out my other hand.
Thanks to that crazy man who relentlessly aimed at my face and threw his fists, my lips had already cracked. It seemed to be a little grazed, but blood flowed from my lips with a burning sensation. I was busy blocking my face, but the smell of blood almost opened made me lose my temper. If I were the person I used to be, I would have just come at him without covering my front or back. But I guess I've changed a bit. It seems that he wasn't planning to give up on my face even though I was beaten up horribly. Thanks to him, my body was in a state of exhaustion and now I'm rolling on the floor at his feet.
Thud.
When my body hit the hard cement floor, a loud sound resounded on the quiet rooftop. It was a good thing that I wrapped my hands around my face so it didn't get injured, but looking at my overall appearance, I got annoyed. Damn it, how can a comedian fight so well? I tried to get up with a dizzy head, but I unfortunately couldn't.
"Ugh."
I didn't raise my head and let out a short moan. When he approached me, he pressed down my neck with one hand. Then, he talked in a leisurely tone.
"You're quite good."
On the contrary, the compliment hurt my pride. Would the outcome have changed if I seriously attacked him? As I recalled with irritation, I felt something on my lips. I flinched. Turning my head in surprise, I saw his expressionless face. He swept my swollen lips with the other hand that was not pressing down my neck. He twisted his face as though he hated it but a smile came to his lips. Then, he pressed hard on my swollen lips that were already bleeding.
"Urgh...!"
I reflexively let out a pained cry and stared at him. I ran into a really annoying guy.
"I like those eyes."
Unlike the laziness in the tone, those cold eyes looked down at me.
"Who scouted you?"
"..."
"Your name?"
"..."
When I didn't answer, a gentle smile that didn't look like a smile appeared on his face. He squeezed my neck even tighter as he smiled.
"What's your purpose in approaching me?"
I couldn't help but answer this question.
"For cigarettes. Who knows who you are."
I spat out with a hoarse throat. For a moment, I thought he narrowed his eyes slightly, but before I knew it, a smile came back to his face.
"You really don't know me."
"I don't watch TV."
His eyes curved like a crescent moon. Then, his hand came back to my lips. I reflexively flinched as my wound was pressed, but his thumb had already touched my lips. This time, I put up with him as he slowly traced the contours of my lips. A chill ran down my spine.
"Take your hands off me."
I muttered in annoyance, but he turned a deaf ear to my words and other words came out of his mouth.
"You are not the type to be a celebrity. Because there is no aspiring celebrity who doesn't even watch TV."
"..."
"But you desperately covered your face to become a celebrity."
The finger that was moving over my lips stopped. His expression disappeared, and he looked down at me with emotionless eyes.
"You must have another reason?"
It wasn't because he was pressing down my neck that I couldn't breathe. It was because of the creepy feeling as if the eyes looking down at me were penetrating through me. Still, I didn't avoid the gaze. I couldn't stand the sarcastic remarks.
"It's not because of you, so it doesn't matter."
The corners of his mouth went up slowly and a small dimple appeared next to it. There was something familiar with that appearance. I think I've seen it somewhere...
Drrring~
Suddenly, a sound out of the ordinary woke up the atmosphere that had subsided. Before I could realise that it was the sound of my phone, someone's hand quickly snatched it first. Taking it out of my pocket, he turned the phone on at a height beyond my reach. I always set the volume to the maximum because I usually have to handle delivery calls when I'm outside. However, the sound now, which always felt small when I was running around with things in hand, resounded like a speaker on the rooftop in the middle of the night.
「Where are you? CEO Choi- I mean, manager-nim is back. I think he's decided to work with you. Actually, he doesn't like your purpose of getting revenge but...」
Clatter~
While he was distracted by the sound of his cell phone, I pushed him away, and the phone crashed onto the floor. Fortunately, the battery fell out so there were no more sounds. I quickly stood up and picked up my phone, cursing in my heart. I didn't want to deal with him anymore. 200 million or whatever nonsense, that's enough. If he blocked me again, I'm going to come at him regardless of my face. But instead of blocking me, he turnedhis body and let me pass.
"Try to pass the interview well. That way, you can get a discount from me."
He bit the cigarette back into his mouth. A red flame rose with the sound of the lid opening of the lighter, shining his face for a moment. Perhaps he noticed my gaze, he opened his mouth that was still holding a cigarette.
"Or I can help you instead of giving you a discount."
"What kind of help?"
"Revenge. You're trying to be a celebrity because of that."
I could have told him that what I heard on my cell phone had nothing to do with me and just turned around, but his next words stopped me.
"I can be your sponsor."
What I was curious about was that, as a man, he naturally said that he could be a sponsor. How did he know my inclination? I stared at him silently and opened my mouth.
"I don't need you."
"Since you didn't say that you don't want to, that means you're fine with men too."
"..."
"And you said you don't need me. That means you need another sponsor.
Who is it?"
There was no reason to answer, so I turned around as I heard a slow voice.
"If you tell me, I'll cut the price of cigarettes in half."
But the words that followed stopped me again. To be exact, it was a cold voice without laughter.
"Or you'll have to work like a dog all your life and pay back the money."
Didn't he say his secret was that he didn't make jokes? It was obvious from his voice that he wasn't joking now. I didn't know I would be threatened with money that I didn't have to pay back. For some reason, this situation felt funny. I turned my head and asked.
"Why are you curious about that?"
"Just because."
"..."
"Don't worry. I'll keep the secret."
Even if it wasn't a dry promise, he seemed to be able to keep a secret. Although he was a madman trying to strike a fortune with a cigarette, he seemed like someone who would keep his word. But that wasn't why I opened my mouth anyway. It was annoying; if I don't answer, I don't think he'll let me go and keep on bothering me. So I told him the person I wanted to target.
"It's the Director Yoon of this company."
At that moment, I felt that his gaze had changed strangely, but I only thought of the soda uncle who was waiting downstairs and walked away. I don't want to see him again. As soon as I made my way down to the floor where they were waiting, the soda uncle saw me and shouted.
"Gasp! What's wrong with your face?!"
"...Because of a madman."
The uncle mumbled trying to understand my statement, and his eyes grew bigger.
"Madman? In the company? At this late hour?"
Even the boy opened his eyes wide like an old man and was shocked, and questions poured out. I eventually changed the subject first due to the burdensome gaze of the two.
"Are you going to sign a contract with me?"
"Huh? Oh, what you need to do with me is not a contract, but a promise for now. The actual contract is with the company, and you have to pass the interview... No, if you really want to do it, listen to me first and decide."
Then he started to scare me.
"You will never survive in this field if you're not determined. In order to succeed in the fast way like you want, you have to be especially determined to go through all sorts of things. This field is a complete survival of the fittest, so they do dirty things that you can't even imagine, such as even stealing small roles. Even if you are lucky to get a role through hard work, it is common for the role to change just the day before the shoot. If you're weak against failure or setbacks, it's better not to start at all."
"I got it."
"It's not just that. It's common to be betrayed by someone you trust, and even do dirty things... If you want to find a sponsor, you need to be prepared to suck on the genitals of a 70yrs old man. Are you really going to do it?"
"Manager-nim."
When I called him, I looked at his eyes full of worries.
"I'm not that naive or a nice person."
"But, still..."
"I just need you to help me the way you usually do. I'll do the rest of the dirty and tough work."
Looking at me still for a long time, he asked me quietly.
"What on earth did Myeongshin do?"
"..."
I hesitated for a moment. He was a good person, I could feel he was really concerned for me. I know I shouldn't be carried away by my revenge, but I probably won't get another opportunity again. That thought pushed away some of my guilt, and I opened my mouth.
"Similar to what happened to you, CEO-nim."
I added as if it was nothing special.
"Just paying back what I went through."
Then I got up from my seat and pointed at the clock hanging on the wall.
"I want to go back to sleep, I have to go to work."
The two of them also quickly got up from their seats.
"Sorry for keeping you up late. I don't usually stay this late, if I knew this would happen, I should have ordered bossam*, or these days McDonald's is the best."
*t/n: a korean pork dish
As my mind and body were getting too exhausted to keep up with this conversation, the manager's phone rang. He picked it up and started with an apology. A gracious silence came and I hurriedly waited for the elevator to come. However, the voice of the manager answering the phone was strange.
"Chief Park, you called me at this late hour! What's the m- Ah, you had to work overtime until this hour. You've worked hard. Ah- Are you crying? Eh? You want to quit your job because of your superiors?... Ah, you're just joking. Haha~ It sounded as if you were serious... I'm sorry. By the way, what- Yes, that's right. Ah! Tomorrow? But... Eh? Y-you don't know if Director Yoon is turning up?! Ah, I understand."
He nodded his head as he answered the phone with a bewildered look.
"I'll take him there tomorrow."
As soon as the uncle hung up, the elevator arrived with a 'ding~', but I couldn't get in right away. Because the manager was holding onto my hand tightly.
"W-what to do? You have an interview tomorrow!"