Never Let Go - Danisnotonfire...

By phangirlingweirdo

1.7M 65K 124K

- won first place in the summer 2015 x reader fanfiction awards - You feel like your life is one big existent... More

a/n: disclaimer
Introducing You...
Landlord Peasant
And So It Begins...
Don't Stalk Me!
Hello Internet!
Too Many Innuendos...
Twenty Questions
"My Rambling is... Cucumber?"
The Interview
"What is my life?!"
Abused... Bruised... Alone?
The Aftermath
Diagnosis and a Tour
Pizza and a Close Call
Annoying Cashier
Advice with Dan
Skyping Feels
Youtube...?
Spaghetti and Damp Clothes
Stay with me...
Soggy Cereal
Artistic Attempts
Heart-to-Hearts in a Cupboard
Hangover
Awkward... >.<
Llamaaaa :3
Guitar Hero
Danosaurs be craaazzzyyy
"A winky friendship is a good friendship."
Pancakes
Sherlock is Bae
Movie Marathon
Advice with Phil *cue jingle*
Shiz happens.
"You're ruining my liveshow!"
Waffles and Horror Movies
Awkward Experiences
Cooking and Arguments
Friends Again...?
Phan... Sorta.
The Inner Badass
Twister and Ice Cream
The Deep, Dark World of Tumblr
Visitors
GULLIBLE.
The Fairground
Looking for the Lion
The Postman ruins Everything.
Announcements and Turnips
Gertrude...
Third Video!
Mario Kart and Liveshows
a/n: omg!
Shopping and Cereal
Stirfry and Complete Failures
Zoe's Party - Part One
Zoe's Party - Part Two
The Worst Party Ever?!
Twitter Troubles
Making Up and Strange Dreams
Treeee!
Minty
Phil's Date
Piggy Backs
Salted Caramel Brownies
a/n: 2k?!
The London Eye and Games
Phangirls and Embarrassing Phil
Anxious Thoughts...
Nostalgia and Vegetable Pie
Coincidence? I think not...
Alpacalypse.
a/n: 3k! omw 0-0
Search and Find
Sudden Realisations
Morning Breath Kisses
Hiccups and Phone Conversations
Midnight Magic
Nightmares and Lucky Charms
a/n: 5k! :D
Cards Against Humanity and Codes
Decoding and Panicking
Sickness and Cuddling
Noodles and Theories!
The Big Reveal...
Cookies and Queries
Teasing ^v^
Decorating and Christmas!
Brighton Beach
Never Let Me Go
Bonus Chapter - Minty's Real Name
Answers to the Character Ask

CACTUS ASSAULT

15.1K 615 994
By phangirlingweirdo

Dan's POV:

I sit on Zoe and Alfie's sofa, my head in my hands. Zoe comes over with painkillers and a glass of water.

I take them and mutter: "Thanks. Do you have any-" I begin, looking up. She's already gone. I sigh. "Biscuits," I whisper.

I look at the pills in my hand, then gulp down the foul tasting tablets, take a swig of water and run my hands through my hair. Only one thought is in my mind.

I have to go to Y/n.

*****************

Back to you!

You've picked out a few random questions and screenshotted them. You turn the camera on and sit back on your bed.

"Hello there! It's me, Y/n. Sorry it's been so long, I'm kind of the Queen of Procrastination. Whoops. Anyway, today I'm doing a Q and A! Let's get started!"

You do a little dance with your hands.

"Okay, first question: Did you always want to do YouTube? I always thought about it a bit, but it was Dan who forced me to make a channel."

"Next question: ARE YOU PHAN AF?!"

You pause to laugh for a few seconds.

"OBVIOUSLY. Who isn't?" you say, winking at the camera.

"Are you and Dan still dating?"

You feel tears welling up in your eyes at the memory of him. Dammit, you didn't mean to pick out this question. How did that happen...?

"Gosh, Y/n, pull yourself together," you tell yourself. You decide that it would be best not to answer that question, and to cut it out of the video altogether.

"Can you follow me on Twitter?"

You laugh. "Okay, that isn't really a question... But yeah, maybe."

Your phone suddenly drops out of your hands, onto your floor. You make a horrified face to the camera and bend down to pick it up. Luckily, it's not cracked.

"Phew! That was scary!" you say, laughing.

"Next question! When are you going to start doing YouNow shows? Soon, probably, I'm not sure yet."

*le time skip*

"Bye guys!"

You wave at the camera, wait a minute, then turn it off. You take the memory card out of it and set it on your desk, making a mental note to edit the video later. You turn on your phone.

5 missed calls

15 new messages

You sigh and check the messages. They're all from Dan.

Sorry

I didn't know what I was doing

Please say something

I miss you

Don't feel very well today

How are you?

Love you xx

...to mention a few. There's one from an unknown number, too.

Hi, sweetie! I got a new phone number, just thought I'd let you know - Mum

You exit out of your messages, your mind wandering back to when you last saw her.

"Wow, it seems like ages ago..." you say to yourself.

Your tummy grumbles. You get up from the edge of your bed and walk into the kitchen to get some lunch. Phil is there, making pancakes. It smells delicious.

"Want some?" he asks you, avoiding eye contact.

"Yes, please," you reply, leaning on the worktop. "You okay?"

He doesn't reply for a few minutes. "Not really. But I'll cope."

You wish you could do something to help him. "Maybe you should make a video, it would take your mind off it."

He shakes his head. "Nothing to talk about."

You fall into silence again. A random thought pops into your head. "Want to make a profile on a dating site?"

He raises an eyebrow at you. Then he cracks a smile. "You come up with the weirdest things."

You flip your hair. "I try."

He rolls his eyes at you, a small smile still on his face.

"So, do you want to? Just for fun? You could pretend to be Lion."

This time he laughs. And it's not forced, which is a good thing. "Fine, after pancakes."

"Okay!" you reply, unable to control your smile.

*le time skip*

You set Phil's and your plate by the kitchen sink and walk back into the living room. You give Phil a mischievous grin. He smiles back.

"Where's your laptop? Go get Lion too," you say to him.

"In the kitchen, beside the cooker," he replies, getting up from the sofa and following you out.

You go to the kitchen, grab his laptop and go back to the living room.

Phil comes in a moment later, his small lion teddy in his hands. You pat the space next to you on the sofa, and he sits down.

"Let's do this," you say, unlocking his laptop and going onto a dating website, where you can also chat with other people.

He chuckles as you take a photo of Lion for the profile picture.

"Okay, do you want to select the interests?" you ask.

"I'll say them and you type them." he replies.

"What does Lion like?"

"Meaty steaks, long grass and hot lionesses," he says with a laugh.

You chuckle and enter them in. "Dislikes?"

"Rain, long walks on the beach and..." He thinks for a moment. "Coffee."

You type them in and click submit. As soon as you do that, a new message comes in.

hottie.xo:
Heyyyyy, I like your profile xx

You grin at Phil and type a reply.

Lion:
Thanks, do you like my profile picture? :)

hottie.xo:
Yeh, is that a toy of urs xx

Lion:
Umm, no, it's me.

hottie.xo:
Oh really xx

Lion:
Yeah, problem?

hottie.xo:
No xx it's fine
So are you straight or what

Lion:
I'm lioness-sexual ;)

hottie.xo:
Oh rly xx I'm str8
How about pic 4 pic

Lion:
Okay, I'll go first

hottie.xo:
Okay xx

You look over at Phil. He's covering his mouth and shaking with laughter.

"Having fun?" you ask, grinning at him.

He nods and grins back. You both take another picture of Lion, this time at a different angle.

Lion:
*picture* (A/N: just imagine Phil's lion teddy, it won't let me link it)

hottie.xo:
Hot xx
My turn
*picture* (A/N: imagine a really non muscley pervy dude)

Lion:
You're not my type tbh

hottie.xo:
Oh rite xx what's ur type

Lion:
I already told you, I like lionesses

hottie.xo:
Okay xx hold on

Lion:
Alright

hottie.xo:
*picture of lioness*
U like? Xx

You and Phil both collapse in a fit of giggles.

"Oh my god!" you say between breaths.

Lion:
Mmmmm... Those furry legs though

hottie.xo:
Haha xx
I gtg

Lion:
Okay, nice talking to you :)

hottie.xo:
You too xx

hottie.xo is offline

"Can we do another one?" Phil asks you, doing puppy dog eyes.

You roll your eyes, but still smile. "Fine."

*le time skip*

You hear the door opening, and footsteps coming up the stairs. You shake Phil's shoulder urgently, who fell asleep on your lap earlier.

He sits up almost immediately, and opens his mouth to ask you what's wrong.

You put a finger to your lips and point out of the living room door. He closes his mouth and listens. The footsteps are getting louder and closer.

You pick up one of Phil's cacti, making him scowl at you, and walk out cautiously. The footsteps stop. You freeze in fear. They start again, this time they're coming along the hallway. You close your eyes and lunge out with the cactus in your hands, pointed at the intruder.

"Jesus f***ing Christ!" it - or rather, he, says.

You lower the cactus slowly. You would know that voice anywhere.

Dan.

Dan's POV:

*an hour earlier*

"Thanks," I mumble, getting out of the taxi, onto the cold London street. I don't think London has realised that it's actually supposed to be spring.

The driver grunts in acknowledgement and drives off quickly.

I feel the cold nipping at my fingers, so I shove my hands in my jacket pockets.

I must look out of place here, in my fancy shirt, my skinny jeans and my jacket. I didn't get to change my clothes, so these are the ones I wore to the party.

I'm already getting a few stares. It's at times like this I wish I had a hoodie. Or longer hair... I don't miss the 2010 hair though.

I smile, remembering it all. I look at my phone clock. 3:30.

I decide to walk to Starbucks and get a coffee, before returning to my flat.

I don't know if I can face Phil and Y/n, just yet. I know it sounds cowardly, but I did a terrible thing.

I need to think everything over. Y/n probably hates me.

"Sir?"

I snap out of my daydream and curse under my breath. I look around me.

I'm at the front of the queue in Starbucks, and everyone in the line is staring at me.

The man behind me is glaring and tapping his foot impatiently. I turn back to the barista.

"Sorry, hot chocolate please."

She's looking at me like I'm mad. Ughhhh. This is why I don't leave the house.

"Here you are, have a nice day." She says, looking like she's holding in a laugh. She makes eye contact with her colleague, who immediately bursts out laughing.

I feel myself going bright red. I grab the drink and walk out as quickly as possible.

So much for sitting in, Dan. Way to go.

I make up my mind to go to the park instead. Luckily, the bench I always go to is free. I sit down on it, cradling the warm cup in my hands and taking occasional sips.

*le thinky thinky time*

I should probably go back now, before I freeze. I reluctantly get up from the bench, toss my empty cup in the bin, and begin walking back to the flat.

*le walky walky time*

As I climb up the stairs, the house is quiet. That's kinda suspicious. Phil is hardly ever quiet, no offence to him or anything...

I stop and hear shuffling. Okay, so there's definitely someone here. I walk across the landing, curious as to where Phil and Y/n are.

I nearly jump out of my skin when Y/n lunges at me from a corner, Phil's cactus pointed towards me.

"Jesus f***ing Christ!" I exclaim, jumping out of the way.

She has her eyes closed, but she slowly opens them.

"Oh, Dan. Hey," she says, adjusting her hair nervously and avoiding my gaze.

"Hi," I reply, chewing my lip.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

"Uhh... so, how are you?" I ask.

"Pretty crap, to be honest." She pauses. "What about you?"

"Likewise," I mumble, looking down at my shoes.

There's such an awkward silence, it hurts (not physically, though). I just want to be anywhere except from here right now.

"Right Dan, cut the crap, why did you do it?" she snaps, surprising me.

I take a deep breath. I thought I was ready for this. I'm really not... Oh god.

"I was drunk. Like, really drunk."

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"I don't even remember what I said, I swear!" I protest. "I'm so so sorry..."

"You said you hated me, you asked me why I was even in your life. Then you walked off."

"Oh my god. I didn't mean any of that! I love you, Y/n, and I know why you're in my life. You make me complete, you are my life support, I need you. I know that sounds super cheesy... But I can't cope without you. You don't deserve a piece of s*** like me... I'm so, so sorry."

The words just pour out of my mouth, but I mean every single one.

Her expression softens, and I might have imagined it, but I think she chuckles.

"I really-" her voice cracks and she wipes her eye hastily. "I really missed you."

"I really missed you too. So, are we...?"

Ugh, why are my social skills so bad?!

"Together? Of course," she whispers.

She cracks a smile at me, then throws her arms around me, burying her head in my chest.

I gratefully hug her back, breathing in her perfume. She starts shaking, and I realise that she's crying.

"Aw, no, don't cry!" I exclaim, worried.

She pulls back from me and looks me straight in the face.

Despite her bloodshot eyes and smeared makeup, she's still the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

She looks down and intertwines her fingers with mine. Then she looks up at me again.

"You, Daniel James Howell, are such a spork."

I laugh and hug her again.

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