The next morning.
Nicks voice wakes me up. "Oh, fuck." He groans.
I slowly open my eyes and look up at him. We had all fallen asleep on the couch. His appearance gave me the impression he was not at all happy about what transpired last night.
"Hey." I softly, say.
"Hey, let's go." He replies, without giving me much time to think.
Joey wrestles awake, sitting himself into a better position on the couch. "Really, leaving already?" He asks, while stretching and yawning.
Nick just looks at him and clenches his jaw.
We all turn to survey the front door as the handle starts to wiggle and you could audibly hear keys unlocking it.
Their dad walks in and latches onto the sight of the three of us on the couch together, probably all looking worn out and tired from our previous events. I'm sure he had his opinions about it.
"Are you guys just waking up?" John questions us.
"We had a long night." Joey smirks, making me want to hush him.
Nick stands up and gives a big stretch before he grabs his sweatshirt off the couch and pulls it on over his head. He finds his car keys in his pocket and brings them out to hold them. "Ready?" He asks me.
"Wait, sit down son." John tells him.
"Oh, come on dad, I don't want to talk about football right fucking now." Nick murmurs.
"Nicholas, sit down. It's not about football." He replies.
Nick sits down, but then frantically questions. "—Wait where is mom?"
"Yeah, where's mom?" Joey asks, I could hear a nervous tone in both of their voices.
"She's at home in Florida, she's fine. I need to tell you both something, though. The reason I'm back late is because your mom and I are getting a divorce. We just got all the paperwork filed. Im sorry boys."
"What?!" They both explode.
"Why?" Nick questions him, desperately. "Why are you going to drop this on me right now.. after I lose a fucking game?!"
"At least we waited till after to tell you, son."
"No, this is bullshit. I don't care. This is not okay." Nick replies, smugly. "Why?!"
"Your mom and I haven't been getting along for a very, long time. You both know that." John says.
"Well, then you fix it! You don't just divorce someone because you're not getting along. That's fucking stupid!" Nick replies, jumping up from the couch and angrily breaths. He stares down his dad as if he was ready to fight him.
"This is fucking lame." Joey says out loud. He walks into his room and slams the door, so loud.. I thought it was going to come off it's hinges.
"Let's go, Liliana, now." He demands.
I quickly jump up and grab my purse and keys.
*
I follow Nick back over to his house and I watch him as he starts to make his way upstairs.
"Where are you going?" I ask him.
"To take a shower." He says, without much expression.
"Nick.. about last night.." I start to talk, but he immediately stops me.
"No, we are not talking about that now. We are never going to talk about that. Understand?" He gives me a stern look.
I nod.
I didn't see Nick until much later that night. He comes to my door to bring me dinner.
He hands me the container and then quietly lingers in the doorway. He looked absolutely, miserable. "Do you want to eat with me?" I softly, ask.
"Sure." He answers through a raw voice.
We sit on the bed and silently start to eat our meals before he speaks up. He clears his voice. "You know, I don't think I've had so many consecutively bad days before in my life."
"I'm sorry, Nick." I gently, reply.
"How are you?" He asks, after finishing a bite of his food.
"Not so good." I truthfully, answer.
"Like.. not good because of last night?" He questions as he keeps his eyes on me.
"I thought you didn't want to talk about that, Nick?" I become flustered.
"I don't, but I just want to make sure you're okay." The concern in his voice was authentic.
"I'm not okay." I stare back at him.
"Did you feel forced to do it?" He pauses from eating and places his fork down into the container. He seemed worried by the response he might receive from me.
"What? No. It was just weird." I say.
"Yeah, I know. It was." He exhales. "I don't want to use it as an excuse, but I was pretty fucked up last night." He adds in a low voice. "It kinda feels like a dream to me."
"I thought so." I give him a feeble smile.
"Kayla is coming over tomorrow." He randomly, says. "We are getting ice cream if you want to come."
I stare at him. "Really?" I say in a sarcastic tone.
"What?"
"I don't think so, Nick." I tell him, annoyed at the fact he would even bring that up right now.
"Do you not want me to see her?" He questions.
I put the rest of my food on the side table and shove fingers through my hair as if I was the one with a headache now. "Of course I don't want you to see her, but I can't tell you what to do."
"What if I stop seeing her?"
"What do you mean, Nick?"
He reaches across me and places his food down onto the nightstand as well. "If I stop seeing her and you stop whatever the thing is you have going on with Joey, would you be willing to try one last time with me?"
I was a bit shocked he asked me that. "I'm moving to Florida." I tell him, sternly.
"Yeah, but I live in Florida during the off season. I'm about to fly there next month after the pro bowl. We could make it work?" I could feel the stress radiating off of him.
"Nick, I think we need time away from each other." I say, delicately.
"So, you're going to go to Florida and probably continue to fuck anyone you can get your hands on?" He replies in a bitter tone.
"Nick!" I snap at him.
"Fuck, sorry." He says, anxiously. "Just the fact my mom and dad are getting a divorce had me realize how much I love you. I don't want to settle for anyone. I don't want to be unhappy with some other girl when I had the opportunity to be happy with you. I don't want you to leave without, at least trying to convince you that we are suppose to be together."
"—But you're wrong, Nick. I don't think we are suppose to be together."
"Liliana, I proved to you how much I love you. I let you fuck my brother right in front of me. I stayed calm and let you do that shit, because I know it's what you wanted!"
"You don't know what I want!" I loudly, tell him. "And that's only because you were high as hell."
He stands up above me. "Well, what do you fucking want then?! Just tell me."
"I don't know! —But not this." I wave my hands in the air. "This is just a fucking mess."
"I'm hurting so bad." He replies, shamefully.
"So am I!"
He falls onto the bed on his back and I gently lay next to him. We stare up at the ceiling without talking, which seemed like forever.
"I push people away." He quietly, says.
"I know." I reply.
"—But I never wanted to do that with you. I was just trying to protect myself. I still suffered in the end, though."
I turn my head to look at him. "We are all suffering in our own way."
"You are the only one that understands my pain." He replies, lifting up his hand turning his palm to face me. I lift mine up to grasp his and he lets our hands fall onto the bed as we held them together.
"No one could possibly understand what we've been through." I say, softly.
He turns his head to look at me. "Craziest fucking relationship I've ever had." He chuckles.
It was nice to see him smile. "Oh, definitely." I laugh.
"I'll never forget it, though." He adds. "I'll be sixty years old and will tell my grandchildren the cautionary tale about me and the girl named, Liliana." He says.
"Just leave out the Joey part." I laugh.
"What? No, that's the best part?!" He jokes.
I pick up his hand and examine it clutched over my tiny hand. "I love you, Nick." I whisper.
"I love you too, Liliana."
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