TW: Mistreatment and bad mental health.
[Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish]
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Steve is approaching another door as he moves down the corridor. He walks with such assurance that it makes me feel threatened. Either way, I must keep following him. Before Tony decided it was alright for me to join their team, we had been in hiding for what seemed like an eternity. He learned about my past and the things I was made to do. As a result of our disagreements, Steve and I were made to go into exile. Steve stayed in touch with two people who were still on the property and waited until Tony thought it was time to give me a second chance. But to be completely honest, I don't think I deserve one. I think they might need another body to fight with them and are pushing aside everything that I've done. For that reason, every time I walk down a new hallway, I try to find a possible exit.
I'm leaving this place tonight.
We have to navigate through one more constricting hallway before Steve opens a glass door that is situated adjacent to a glass wall. Everyone in the room is gathered around a huge wooden table, waiting for Steve to enter as the door opens. Only three seats are available, and since everyone else is seated close together, those seats are on the other side of the room. I slink behind Steve and observe as he uncomfortably engages the others.
"Welcome back, Steve." Tony nodded his head.
"Thank you for having us." Steve walks over to one of the chairs.
Everyone looks on as Steve and I approach the chairs and sit down. Steve gives up the middle chair to me so that he can sit closer to the others. In front of a big screen, Tony gets up from his chair at the head of the table. It starts up and displays the Avengers symbol against a pale blue background. As I wait for him to start speaking, I pick at my damaged nails' corners. I really don't want to be here because Steve told me that he is one for theatrics.
"I know we have said before that we don't need another member of this team, but Steve has found his friend and he can help us extremely on missions," Tony speaks. "He will always be beside Steve, fighting with his enhanced abilities. However, he will not be going on the bigger missions at HYDRA bases."
"What!" Steve exclaims. "Why?"
"We can't fully trust his mind yet," Tony answers. "There is a chance that being back in that environment could set off the other guy, and I'm not risking that. So, he will only be going to the smaller bases."
I find it irritating that he won't address me directly, but I can see why. He refuses to admit that I am here to help and makes it plain that he still doesn't like or trust me. I don't blame him for believing that the Soldier would suddenly appear. I want to visit every HYDRA base, but it's not exactly confined information that he is readily provoked. I demand justice from them for the trauma I endured. They can't stop me from leaving, so once I do, I'll have to plan the safest strategy to retaliate against them.
The double glass doors spring open, almost slamming into the wall, drawing everyone's attention. A young girl enters the space stumbling, her clothes dangling from her smooth, tanned body. While some people's amazement at her entrance is noticeable, most appear accustomed to it by this point. Natasha, as I know her, rolls her eyes and waits for Tony to continue before turning to face him again. However, this woman has dominated the stage.
Despite being unkempt, her chocolate hair is stunning as it cascades down her back and moves with the room's mild breeze. Her face is lovely because of the symmetrical, ideal proportions on it. Her eyes immediately capture my attention and pierce through mine. They have a little brown border around the iris and are vivid green overall. Her pouty, puffy lips appear to be tugged and shoved out of her face all the time. My gaze shifts to her neck, where I notice that her upper shirt buttons are undone, exposing a dark purple hickey. It appears to be brand-new and soaking into her flesh. When I turn my head back to her face because I feel like I'm invading her personal space, I can finally see that her lipstick is a little smudged and has fallen down her chin. Despite all of these traits, I can only stare at her eyes. They are beautiful, and staring into my soul.
Tony chuckles next to her and smirks broadly as he observes her clothes. Natasha swiftly giggles while sitting on her chair next to him, concealing her smile with her palm. Steve's eyes are wide as I turn to face him and notice his cheeks turning an intense scarlet. He appears to be very flushed. Tony is soon side-hugged by this woman, who then hurries over to the extra chair beside me. Steve gets up from his chair and gives this woman a hug. Her legs are around his waist, and her arms are wrapped around his neck as he scoops her up. She gives him a quick peck on the cheek before Steve again places her on the ground.
"I'm so glad you're back." She smiles. "You were gone for so long on this mission with James."
"I know, I'm happy to be back too." He beams. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." She sits down on the chair beside me. "So, when am I going to meet the famous James Barnes?"
No one says anything as they all gesture to the seat next to her where I am seated. She makes a head turn and gives me an uneasy smile. Despite her obvious humiliation, she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. I can detect the minor faults when I look closely at her face. Her features are unique to her, despite a few blackheads on the tip of her nose and little acne scars between her brows. She is still gorgeous despite her flaws. She smiles at me and looks into my eyes as I flush in front of her. I particularly appreciate that she doesn't try to shake my hand, touch my arm, or otherwise interact with me. But oddly enough, I want her to. I want to feel her skin against mine, but I push that feeling aside. I can't let myself get attached to anyone. I don't want to lose anyone anymore.
"Hi, I'm Eden Stark."
"James Barnes." I nod my head.
"I'm sorry for the first impression." She laughs. "I'm not usually like this, I swear."
"Liar." Steve coughs under his breath.
"Shut up," She wackes his arm. "Anyway, it's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too." There is a ghost of a smile on my face.
"Okay," Tony claps his hands together. "Time for all you losers to get out of my office."
Everyone gets up from their chairs and makes their way to the door. While waiting by the screen, Tony observes as everyone passes by. Steve, Eden, and I are left behind. Tony directs his gaze to my face, avoiding my eyes. He then turns to face Steve, glaring directly into his eyes.
"Steve, can I have a moment with Eden and James," Tony demands.
Steve expresses disbelief before turning to me and requesting permission to go. Even though I am aware that he doesn't want to abandon me, I can't help but feel as though he has a child lock on my life. He is unable to leave without knowing where I am or what I am doing at all times. Although I share his fear that he may lose me once more, I am not a fragile thing that can break at any time. As I watch him leave the room, leaving Tony, Eden, and me behind, I nod to him. She picks up her feet and puts them on the table before sitting down at his desk. She waits for Tony to be done with me, flicking through one of Tony's many magazines.
"I know Steve has talked to you about this team, but I need you to feel comfortable here." He orders. "This won't work if you don't trust us."
In spite of everything in my mind screaming to tell him, I nod. Since trust is a two-way street in this situation, how do I receive his trust? Though I'm offended by his tone, I must comply with his demand out of habit. He signals for me to leave by pointing to the door. As I get closer, I glance over at his desk and notice Tony seated at the end of the table, along with Eden, who is still leaning back in his chair and resting her legs on the desk. I grin at her antics since I am already enjoying her company. I was immediately enthralled as she entered the room and lit up the room with her smile.
I almost don't want to leave this place knowing she will be here.
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