The night had passed more quickly than she had anticipated and she was eternally grateful for that. It might have been the wine she kept drinking or the constant bustle of socializing but the night was over and she was in her room getting helped out of her dress by Oceane. Arnelo was also in the room, eyes averted out of respect for her undressed state.
"We should be set to leave in two hours," Arnelo updated her, "all your bags and trunks are loaded. Your room has been prepared. Is there anything I can do for you before I head to the ship?"
"Why are you going there so early? Didn't you say we don't leave for two hours?"
Arnelo looked around to make sure that her mother and Viv talking at the entrance to her room couldn't hear what he needed to say.
"I am going to make sure there is nothing in your room that would allow you to be seen or heard from outside the room," Arnelo whispered.
"Thank you," Ava nodded, "you are free to go, I don't need anything else."
Arnelo left and Ava turned to look at Oceane that was looking out of the window. She had been quiet since returning to her room, her duties as a chambermaid were done in silence as she helped Ava get undressed and redressed. Ava hadn't checked in all night.
"O," Ava walked over and put a hand on her back, "everything alright?"
"Sorry. This sun has been a bit overwhelming," Oceane gave her a weak smile.
"I am sorry you had to be there and tend to all those drunk people," Ava touched the side of her head to Oceane's, looking out of the window with her, "we are doing it tonight. We are finally leaving the estate."
"I've tried to avoid excitement until we set sail but I fear it's creeping up anyway," Oceane put her arm around Ava's waist as they gazed at the dark gardens, "Did you say bye to Mallory?"
"I did. Before I came back to the room, I walked her back to hers. She cried and threatened to sneak on the ship," Ava chuckled.
"I have to say bye to her. I was so caught up in everything I haven't had a chance," Oceane pulled away, "Is that alright? I will meet you on the ship."
"Go on, she would never forgive you for leaving without seeing her. Spend the next few hours with her, I'll get enough of your company on the trip," Ava encouraged.
"You will be sick of me," Oceane's mood began to lighten as she was retiring from the room.
Ava doubted it would be true. She had spent endless mornings and nights with Oceane before, being her roommate in both the lower decks and a cabin.
As Oceane began to walk out, her father walked into the room. They rarely crossed paths and she watched as Oceane faltered a bit as she left, looking over her father as he walked past her. He paid Oceane no mind.
"I wanted to see you off at the docks but the Lord's Guard will not let me and I have a meeting with some of the nobles that attended the ceremony. I am afraid this is when I have to say goodbye."
Ava shrugged, "Makes no difference to me."
"I want you to know that I care about you," he reached out and tapped a hand that was crossed in front of her.
"Thank you," Ava said and kept in a laugh at the awkward display of affection.
"You have been a good asset to this family and played the game for all our sakes. Thank you, Avery. You deserve this bit of time to enjoy yourself, away from so many prying eyes," he complimented her and it would have meant a lot if she cared about his opinion, but she was thankful that abiding by the rules reaped a reward.
"In an effort to let me enjoy my time away, are you retiring from a thousand spies trained on me to only four or five?"
"I'm sending Arnelo, Viv, and a dozen guards to keep an eye on you. The spies in my employ will be sent where they will be more valuable."
She didn't believe it. She still had to take extreme caution. She needed to function under the assumption that there were always ten trained eyes on her. Instead of more empty assurances, she changed the subject.
"I have a request. It is not going to be easy to say yes to. But I think I have deserved this much."
His mouth turned into a frown, not because he was upset but because he didn't know what it would be and he didn't seem keen on the unknown. He broke his usual stiff posture and crossed his arms, "I will likely say no."
"You mentioned a while ago that you had heard that Theo was still on Niveal. Do you know if that is true?"
"You will not be allowed to see her."
"No," Ava shook her head, "no, that is not my request. If she is still there, may I let Oceane off the ship and join Theo again?"
He was silent and she was tapping her foot under her dress, anticipating his answer.
"Oceane knows nothing about anything. The most she knows is that I am working for you but the whole of Baethos knows now too... The worst she could tell Theo is about what she sees in the kitchens or the estate layout but anyone could tell you that with a hired spy. She doesn't even know I'm asking this of you. I just know that she misses where she comes from and I want her to have the option to leave."
"What benefit is it to you? Are you trying to get a message out to your old Captain?"
"If I ever saw Theo again, I would kill her," Ava inhaled sharply and shook her head with a frown, "she is too dangerous to be left alive. The revolution will be banging on her door soon enough."
"You will be near," he pointed out, "you haven't suggested an assassination plot. If you are so worried, why is that?"
"It would be suggesting a murder attempt in a place crawling with mercenaries and noble haters," Ava was quick on her feet and she might not have known strategy or rebellion or war but she knew how to lie and how do it quickly, "you don't murder Captain Theo and get off Niveal alive. The whole island would be after you in hopes of the potential reward."
He nodded and it seemed like she had said the right thing.
"Oceane's father is dead, her brother and sister are probably looking for her. She deserves to return home. She has had no role in this request, I have asked before if she wanted me to advocate for her to go home but she has rejected it every time."
"Why would that be?"
"She is mad at Theo. She betrayed Oceane's trust and she would rather stay here to be with me."
"So, she wants to stay but you do not want her here," he raised an eyebrow.
"I do, I need her for my own sanity but I would make a sacrifice to let her go if she wanted to. I don't want her stuck in the crossfire, which she would always be if she stayed here," Ava widened her eyes, communicating her desperation for him to say yes through her pleading look.
"I will allow it. I will have Vivexa question her to make sure she knows nothing."
"Thank you. Really, I mean it. Thank you so much."
"This is all pending a conversation with Vivexa, she will have gleaned if this is part of a ploy," he nodded, "I will have her deliver my verdict. I must be going now."
"Of course, thank you," Ava bowed, "I will see you in some cycles and be in constant communication through ravens."
"I will be sure to update you on matters of the estate if anything pressing occurs," he nodded goodbye and made no other display of affection as he exited the room and left her on her own.
It was happening. She was actually about to leave. Niveal was within her sights, figuratively. Now, it was only a matter of waiting until it was in her sights, literally.
—-------------------------
She had assumed her first conversation with Cameron would be easy. He seemed talkative and sweet around most people, especially with her sister. She had assumed that Cameron would keep that same enthusiasm and energy when speaking with her but that wasn't the case. They had been in the room for about ten minutes and neither of them had initiated any form of talking.
Cameron pretended to be busy with undressing and relaxing after their ceremony, having kept on the ceremonial garb that he had worn to their union. He fidgeted with it slowly, eventually putting away all of his Eloxian jewelry and the special coat he had been wearing. Finally, he managed to be still and sat on the bed.
Minutes passed of Ava sitting in wait. She was just as guilty of not knowing what to say. She and Cameron had not really made it past formalities in any of the conversations they had. She had rejected every offer from Mallory to go spend time with them. She had been in a bubble and only those who entered it got her undivided attention, Cameron had not been in her bubble. Mallory had been but to a limited extent. The only meaningful conversation they had had was Mallory exposing Ava's habit of being a bad sister in the past cycles.
She said she would change but she hadn't. She had made excuses for how much union planning was taking up her time, making no extra effort to willingly be around anyone that was not Oceane and Vivexa. But that would need to change tonight. No more ceremony planning could take up her time and no more putting off engaging in conversation with her new husband. She stood up from her side of the bed and went to sit next to him.
When she sat next to him, she saw his fists tighten slightly as he tensed. He most likely thought she wouldn't notice but he damn near flinched, it was hard to miss. She didn't know where to start. His energy was nervous and he seemed deeply uncomfortable.
"Looks like we have to have each other's backs from here on out," Ava tried.
He was still silent. Had she done something wrong? Mallory had been wise in advising some previous conversations between them but she ignored the wisdom.
"So, maybe we should go through what happened here tonight in case anyone asks you," Ava looked over at him with a slight smile and he looked confused.
"What happened here tonight?"
"We both lost our innocence and it was spectacular. You wish you could have lasted longer but at least you were able to go for a second round. It was more than you could have imagined and you had no idea anything could feel that good," Ava shrugged, forming a somewhat believable story.
"Is that what is going to happen?"
"It is what everyone will think happened," Ava titled her head.
"But it wouldn't happen?"
The conversation was disorienting, seemingly for both of them.
"Are you expecting it to?" Ava frowned.
He nodded but he was also grimacing, well- it was a poorly hidden grimace. A pained looked forced into a bad smile.
Ava realized that the advised conversation with Cameron she had put off would have indeed helped matters. He did not know she was a nox, for whatever reason, his brother chose not to tell him. Mallory hadn't divulged that information. And neither had Ava. Cameron had spent the past few cycles thinking he was doomed to a union with a koldi.
"What were you told about this union?"
"That is was for the future of my house. That I would become a Vaith instead of you taking my name as a Cooker. That our children would one day secure the Cooker legacy on top of the Council," Cameron stated then frowned, "shit, not sure I was supposed to really say that out loud."
"Did your brother tell you anything about this?"
"Brandon? No. He has been very withdrawn. That might have been my fault, I pushed him away after I heard he had arranged a union for me," Cameron wrung his hands together, "no, shit, I wasn't supposed to say that either. I am very happy to be your husband, Lady Vai– my lady."
"And I am very happy to be your wife," Ava took his hand and squeezed it, figuring out how best to put it, "your brother had your best interest at heart. I have heard about your preferences. That was one of the purposes of this union."
Cameron's face flashed with a moment of relief but quickly recovered.
"Have you heard about my preferences?" Ava asked.
He shook his head.
"Well, can I trust you?"
"We are united, my lady, you can trust me with your life," Cameron said and he seemed genuine. Good about his duties, which is probably why he wanted to avoid those duties– he knew he would be true to them if pushed.
"Well, I am like you in that lying together is not of interest to me. Neither is making an heir," Ava nudged him a bit, "I don't know why your brother didn't tell you, but I know that you want only platonic relationships and I don't have any interest in men. So neither of us has any desire for the other person nor what is expected of us."
"He was looking out for me the whole time," he looked to be processing the information. His eyes darted around the wall in front of them, trying to make sense of things.
"He was. Maybe there was a reason he didn't tell you."
"I think he kept it from me so I would act hesitant about it, which is what father would expect," Cameron was silent for a bit, still a frown on his face, "I should go apologize. I was rude to him even though Mallory kept telling me not to be. Did she know?"
"She does know about me."
"Why would she keep that from me?"
"Did you ever voice your concerns about the union to Mallory?"
Cameron shook his head, "She is your sister and your family, that would have been beyond disrespectful."
"Maybe she thought you knew since you didn't say anything negative about our union. Maybe she did it to continue to protect me, that isn't really information that is good to have out in the open. Maybe, if it seemed like you had no context about our union, she might not have wanted to be the one to provide it," Ava assured and her gut twisted at how she had treated her sister so poorly when it was clear Ava was always on Mallory's mind, "she did suggest I come to speak with you about it but I didn't. I owe her an apology. And I owe you one."
"No need for one. You are forgiven. I should apologize to her too. I was short with her when she would be optimistic about this union," Cameron bit his bottom lip, looking genuinely distraught by his previous behavior– which given her limited experience with Cameron, his inexcusable behavior was probably just a mild case of being grumpy.
"You can write to her," Ava nodded, "I am sure she would greatly appreciate that."
"Yes, writing to her. Writing is what I will do," Cameron nodded, "Thank you, my lady."
"No thanks needed. You are the one doing me a favor," Ava assured him and then got off the bed, "I am going to unpack some stuff, maybe look around the room. I would say it is safe to leave the room in about an hour without anyone questioning whether or not we consummated the union."
He nodded and Ava stood up, doing as she said. Cameron was silent for a bit, still processing. He had probably spent cycles in a worse state than her. He must have been scared, worried, and miserable. Ava gave him the space to grapple with it. Finally, he spoke up after a while.
"I know I may seem stupid and untrustworthy, but I'm not. I just don't know how to keep my emotions off my face and I think that may be why I was kept in the dark," he defended.
"I didn't think that of you," Ava assured and he seemed pleased with the response but not satisfied.
"And I am not a child, or childish just because I don't want sex. I know what I want," he defended and it was a sternness she hadn't seen before, "I know I am kind, and I know that might make me seem innocent but I am mature. My whole family thinks I am just an overgrown kid but I'm not. Sex is not the foundation of life, even if that is what everyone says."
"Cam," Ava said and his posture softened at the name, "I know all of those things."
"Right," Cameron nodded and looked away but there were tears in his eyes, "I'm sorry for attacking you."
Ava laughed, "You didn't. You were impassioned and selling yourself quite well."
"Thank you," he nodded.
"But you didn't need to defend anything. You are not the first person I've met that is like you," Ava assured, "my friends have a name they use in their circles to describe you, zan."
"Really?" he frowned.
"Did you think you were alone?"
"There are too many people in this world for me to be alone. I just didn't think it would be common enough that you had encountered someone else."
"Several," Ava clarified.
"Where?"
"On my time on the pirate ship," Ava had hesitated before admitting it but Mallory was right, he deserved honesty and she didn't want to keep him in the dark, "I was not a captive of them. I willingly joined."
"I know that. Brandon told me," Cameron said.
"You knew that?"
"Yes. I knew before we came to court the first time," he tilted his head, "you didn't know I knew?"
"No. Was not aware but it doesn't matter. You do not seem to care," Ava got up and began to unpack.
"No, it interests me. May I ask you questions about yourself? Mallory talks about you a lot these suns," Cameron watched as she went around the room.
"As long as you are willing to share about yourself too, I would love to get to know you," Ava acknowledged.
"I love to share about myself," Cameron smiled and there was a sincerity about him, like Mallory had. Not naive, per se, and definitely not innocent but perhaps looking at the world through a more positive lens. An optimism and care for others that was not typical in men of his status, "What is your favorite meal? Mine is chicken with rice, drenched in feffer sauce from The Twins."
Ava laughed at the simplicity of the question. If given the opportunity to pry, Ava usually did. He was throwing easy ones her way. She thought for a bit as she opened her jewelry box to see what had been packed away for her.
"Pastries and bread, baked fresh and eaten on the porch of a bakery," Ava smiled to herself as she turned the ring on her finger, remembering the many times she had eaten that meal with Theo and her other friends.
Cameron jumped into another question, providing his own answer without being prompted and Ava would be lying if she said she had a bad time in the hour they stayed in the room. Eventually, she let Cameron go to see his brother and talk about why Ava's intentions with the union were not revealed to him and Ava went to spend time with the ocean air.
They had made it to the open water. No land in front of them, and only a speck of land was in the distance– illuminated by the moonlight. The air was heavy in a way that the air on land could never achieve, not even fog after a heavy rainfall came close. It brought her back to a time of comfort and adventure. She relished the feeling.
There was a peace that had come over her, so powerful that it had washed away the excitement, the nerves, and the doubt. The feeling of the ship rocking was lulling her into a sedated state. With an extended stay in Niveal, she knew she had a lot of planning coming up. Especially, since she was going to have to do damage control with Vivexa. She needed her distracted and far away if she was going to get a chance to see Theo. But that would wait until later, now she took advantage of soaking up the stars, the moon, and the waves. Her peace did not last long though.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Ava caught as Cameron went into the lower decks and thought nothing of it. Perhaps he was hungry or needed to get something from storage. Then, she saw Oceane go down there a few minutes later. She wouldn't know why either of them would be there and had even less of an explanation as to why they went at around the same time.
She left her spot, walking quickly to the entrance to the lower decks and sneaking down. She walked for a bit, looking through large rooms filled with crew and even peeking through some supply closets and rooms. Toward the back of the ship, she heard a group of voices coming from inside a room in a poorly lit hallway. It might have been a group of crew members slacking off but she needed to check anyway.
Ava walked to the door and twisted the knob, pushing it open as fast as she could. It was a storage room that had been lit by many candles. As she had expected, she found Oceane and Cameron together sharing a drink. The other person in the room was what shocked her. Her eyes slipped past them and to a stowaway, Mallory.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Mallory looked up at Ava and instead of looking apologetic or stunned or panicked, she smirked with a small shrug, "Sorry."
"Did you know?" Ava turned her head, asking Oceane.
"Not until this was delivered into my hammock in the staff quarters a bit ago," she held up a piece of paper.
"And you?" Ava turned to her new husband.
"Do not say anything, Cam, deny everything," Mallory stood up, "It was only fair that I would be able to come and I made it happen for myself."
"You have just jeopardized everything, Mallory," Ava ran her hand through her hair, frustrated wasn't enough to describe how she felt, "our father is going to think this was all my idea!"
"I wrote a letter to him and to mother before I left explaining that it was my idea," Mallory crossed her arms, "I thought through my plan!"
"You think that a letter is going to convince him? We could be fucked. He could send a dozen and a half more guards to keep us under watch and then everything we have worked for would have been ruined. A marriage, all for nothing."
"What would be ruined?" Cameron butted in.
Mallory looked like she was going to spill everything and Ava shook her head.
"Mal, think before you speak."
"Her visit to her girlfriend would be ruined," Mallory looked directly at Ava, challenging her, "and the opportunity to recruit her into the rebellion would also be ruined."
"Are you fucki-" Ava cut herself off and lunged forward, putting her hand over Mallory's mouth. Ava had no idea how Mallory had figured it out.
"I do not think we are supposed to be saying any of that too loud," Cameron whispered.
"You knew about going to Niveal for Theo?" Oceane laughed.
"Yes. I didn't know that is what you were all talking about. My brother tells me everything," he admitted, "well, almost everything. Although, I didn't know Captain Theo is your lover."
"She's not," Ava and Oceane both corrected him at the same time.
Ava turned her attention back to Mallory who was using childish tricks to get her mouth freed, it worked and Ava pulled her hand away, "You need to be careful what you say out loud."
"I didn't tell her, Red, if you are wondering," Oceane defended.
"I didn't either," Cameron held his hands up.
"Fuck you both for keeping me in the dark, by the way. I had to figure it all out by myself. You think I don't have ears, eyes, and the ability to make connections, Avery? I am smarter than you give me credit for and if you thought I wouldn't have figured out that this was a ruse of a honeymoon, you aren't as smart as you give yourself credit for," Mallory bit, equally as frustrated as Ava, "is there a reason you kept this from me when Cam knows all about it?"
"I didn't know he knew. I thought we were being subtle about it," Ava answered.
"If subtly was bringing me to every meeting you had with Brandon Cooker about this, then yes you were trying to be subtle," Mallory crossed her arms, "you had no directive to keep this from me, clearly, so it was just something you wanted to hold a secret."
"I am trying to protect the mission."
"You cannot stand the idea that someone else in your family can be good and want to help. You need that attention on you," Mallory accused.
Oceane's face turned away on purpose, so Ava couldn't catch her reaction to it. She knew why. It was kind of true. Not the attention part but holding everything so close to her chest. Mallory hadn't proven herself untrustworthy and Ava knew of her desire to be involved and push away from their noble lives yet she ousted her. But she couldn't bring herself to apologize.
"Let's go tell Lord Cooker about you being here. He will find you a room and I will go see how soon we can get a raven to our father," Ava walked to the door and opened it.
Cameron and Mallory walked out first, a slight air of smugness in Mallory that she had succeeded.
"She just wants to feel the way you did, fulfilled and with purpose. Perhaps, even a bit of adventure," Oceane smiled a bit, "when Theo used to tell you no, chances are you would do it anyway. She's no different."
"I know that."
"Be nicer to her," Oceane pulled Ava into a hug, "I'm going to go retire to my hammock. It has been a while since I've been able to sleep on a rocking ship and I cannot wait!"
Oceane was smiling as if that was not a joke and Ava took a moment to herself before following Cameron and Mallory's path. By the time she arrived at the stairs, Cameron was gone and it was just Mallory waiting for her.
"I'm not sorry," Mallory pointed out.
"I didn't think you were," Ava rolled her eyes.
"You've been a shit sister to me. You have been selfish, and rude, and have ignored me for cycles," Mallory accused and was so petty as to shove Ava's shoulder.
Ava scoffed and shoved her back, "I have been fucking busy, Mallory!"
"No!" Mallory laughed to herself and shook her head, "you have been busy fucking– and it's with the person who made you end up here, at that."
Ava shook her head, "You couldn't know, Mal. It puts you in danger."
"You do not think of me like someone on your level. You think I am somehow beneath you because I am not as qualified as you. Just because you spent a few cycles away and now you're at the top of everything does not mean you get to choose when to cut me out of stuff," Mallory turned away in frustration and stormed up the steps. Ava followed right behind.
"You act like you are just an innocent person who has not done anything but be by my side but that wasn't always the case!" Ava argued.
"So what?!" Mallory turned around and there were tears in her eyes, "I was a child, Avery! And so were you. Ever since you've come back I have done nothing but support you, and try to be an active part of things, and ask questions, and do everything I could to impress you but you didn't see me. The moment power was promised to you, you hoarded it. How long have you known about your succession? I know you didn't find out when all the rest of us did."
"A while," Ava shrugged, "it doesn't even matter. It was, like, a few cycles. I figured it out on the way to the Center."
"You are so ridiculous," Mallory shook her head and Ava felt the beginning of some rain droplets hit her skin.
How fitting.
"I'm sorry," Ava said and it was all she could muster.
They stared at each other for a few moments while the rain began to pick up.
"Besides Oceane, I've had almost no one. I burned every bridge in the family mostly because of you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't go back to our other sisters. Penelope doesn't invite me anywhere anymore. Griselda and Lorraine have excluded me from all our old standing dates," Mallory held her hands out and looked defeated, "whether you like it or not, I am a part of this life now. I am a part of your life."
"I didn't ask you to defend me and burn those bridges," Ava said and the rain had begun to pour down on them.
Mallory didn't answer, she just shook her head and Ava could see her chest heave with a sigh. She walked forward, passing Ava but not before checking her on her shoulder.
Ava let out a sigh of her own once Mallory had walked away. She wanted to apologize. She knew Mallory was right but she couldn't be anything but defensive at that moment. She had been no better than Theo, ignoring advice and hurting those around her.
Well, almost no better than Theo. The captain's actions were hard to top and that opinion was coming from a less angered Ava compared to how she felt before.
—--
Even though they had rarely spoken since the night they left, having Mallory around made it easier for Ava to have time to herself. Her sister took on the duty of entertaining Cameron for her. Now that unknown secrets were above water, Mallory and Cam only grew closer. Oceane was with Ava most of that time and it felt like she was back on the Scored Woman; except for the occasional interruption from Viv that would pull her from that feeling. She lounged in her room, stayed out on the deck, and even climbed some parts of the ship when no one was looking to get a better view.
She felt freer than she had in a while despite being surrounded by people that were not her friends. She also saw a new energy inside Oceane. Like the ocean had breathed life into her. A carelessness she hadn't seen in a while. It was a small difference, her smiles and sage advice with a slight mischievousness in her suggestions were still the same at the estate but now there was more happiness and light behind her words and actions.
"I can't believe it's only four suns away," Oceane shook her head, "we've talked about it for so long and it's actually fucking happening."
"It's been around fifteen cycles since we were this close to freedom," Ava shook her head as well, laughing a bit, "and yet I can't help but feel dread."
"Aye," Oceane leaned into Ava, resting a head on her shoulder as they looked over the ocean atop the crow's nest, "what if we get there, and we are murdered by a sea of angry pirates."
"I would try and save you," Ava put an arm around Oceane and jostled her, "no! Take me, not her. She's done nothing. She hasn't killed renouncers on the orders of her father or fraternized with the most elite of nobles."
Oceane laughed and disentangled herself from Ava, "I know I have not been on Theo's side as of late but the closer I get to her, the more I believe that she has changed. Someone has to have talked sense into her."
"If she has changed for the better and she is the Captain you remember, would you want to stay?"
"Wanting and being able to are different things and I try not to think about things I want to do yet can't," Ocenae shrugged.
"I got permission from my father," Ava spilled. She had kept it in for so long in fear of facing Oceane with a decision she hadn't asked for, "when he came to say his goodbyes, I asked him if he could let you go in Niveal if you made the choice to do it."
"And he agreed?"
"He did. I received mail that he agreed to my request not too long ago. I assured him you knew nothing and when he confirmed that fact with Viv, he gave me the go-ahead," Ava explained.
"Viv lied then. But why?" Oceane asked and Ava shrugged. They both knew that Viv only did things for her benefit.
"I think she thinks seeing you gone would give her more control over me," Ava hypothesized, "without someone who is also focused on doing good, maybe she thinks I would be more easily swayed by her. She could guide me into her corruption."
"Sounds like something Viv could do," Oceane laughed a bit, "I appreciate your efforts but the reason I can't go is not because of your father it is because I need to be by your side."
"I cannot ask you to give up your chance to stay with your crew and be with them once again."
"We have tired out this conversation, Red. For the last time, you are not asking me to stay. I am saying that this is what I want," Oceane looked on the verge of snapping, "if you bring it up again, I will be forced to assume that you hate me and want me gone. So, shut it."
They stared at each other for a little bit and then Ava nodded, "Alright. Fine."
"Thank you for advocating on my behalf," Oceane squeezed her knee.
"Are you ready for tonight?"
"This will be the first time ever that a ship I am on is attacked and I am not expected to help," Oceane shrugged, "don't have to get ready for much."
"Brandon called me to his office to go over what the plan is," Ava chuckled, "he is going to tell me for the third time that the plan is to stay in my room. I have been putting it off but I should go."
"How do you feel about him? You think he is trustworthy?" Oceane asked, they hadn't really touched base about him in their time on the ship.
"I think I would rather have any of the pirates leading a revolution than him," Ava admitted then tilted her head, "well, any of the pirates in Theo's posse."
"He's a bad guy?"
"He's not bad, other people can just be better," Ava explained her insight into the matter, "but that is also to say, Cooker or Theo or Xyra or even Viv would be better than me to be in the position I am in as heir. Power doesn't always go to those most capable."
"Having Cooker in your shoes is a laughable image."
"I would pay a thousand gold to see her in a dress I wear to court," Ava played along as she pulled herself from the edge of the railing, "I'm going to get this meeting over with."
Oceane said goodbye to her as she walked away, crossing the deck and slipping into the ship to find Brandon's quarters. Once she arrived, she knocked and when she didn't hear an answer, she tried to the handle. It was unlocked so she pushed forward and opened the door. Viv was standing near Brandon's desk, arms crossed and posture stiff.
Her head whipped back to look at Ava when she entered. Viv's eyebrows were knit together and she looked livid. If Ava walked any closer, she was afraid her head would be bitten off. Ava knew Viv's angry face well by then and she could only deduce one thing, Brandon had ignored her advice and brought Viv into the fold.
"I will leave you two alone," Viv said nothing else as she walked out.
"You told her?" Ava shook her head with a scoff.
"I cannot risk her finding out about the revolution the wrong way. She was already onto me, the coordinated attack tonight would have only sent her digging some more. At least now, she is on our payroll and also has access to your father," Brandon stood up and motioned to the chair, inviting her to take a seat.
"She will betray you if it means more money," Ava ignored the offer.
"More money right now means getting bankrolled by both me and your father," he acknowledged, "when the tides start to shift, she will back the winning side. If she abandons the cause, it means she knows we have already lost. If we are losing, no matter if she ends up betraying us or not, we would have already been marked for death."
"You don't show promise in being trustworthy or a very good listener. Remember, I am the one that can deliver Theo but if I think I am walking her into the hands of a rich Eloxian man who doesn't listen to women or people he deems not on his level I will advise her to stay away," she threatened as she stepped closer to his desk.
"You have a lot of nerve, Lady Avery. You are not in a position to bargain nor are you in a position to demand compliance with your advice," he slammed a palm into his desk, his posture defensive and breathing heavy, "your potential contribution to this revolution is helpful but do not think for a second that because of your name and your status that I will be threatened or spoken to that way."
"You will regret letting her into your plans," she began to walk away.
"You have demanded impossible things from me since the moment we met. I have delivered on those. I have taken risks and exposed my own father to the scrutiny of your house. I have trusted and never questioned you even though those thoughts ran through my head," he followed her, leaving from behind his desk to the door, "I will reiterate that I hope you can deliver on your end of the promises you have made. It will make it easier to overlook your impertinence if you can justify the attitude and expectations with results."
Ava turned back toward him, looking him up and down with a look of disapproval. Without responding to the menacing statement, she left and saw Viv turn onto the deck at the end of the hallway. Ava ran after her, hoping to catch up. She didn't catch Viv until she was opening the door to her quarters.
"Can we talk?"
Viv didn't answer but she did leave her door open as she walked into her room. Ava followed and as soon as she was through the threshold. Viv grabbed her by the arm and shoved her against the wall.
"You conniving bitch," Viv bit as she leaned in close and it almost looked like she was baring fangs.
"You seem upset," Ava taunted a bit even though she should have been trying to smooth things over, "what part are you hung up about most? That I knew who was in charge of the rebellion before you did? That I was able to manipulate a long stay in Niveal? That I am being trusted to deliver news directly into Theo's hands and somehow that flares up your jealousy?"
"I will make your life not worth living," she pinned her arm across Ava's chest, "you continue to toy with me, Avery. You continue to juggle with my future and my safety and I will not stand for it anymore."
"Come off it," Ava kicked Viv's shin and managed to get released as Viv pulled away to tend to the injury, "you can walk away at any moment and go back to whatever fortune you have buried somewhere. But you don't, you chose to stay and bring in double the gold as before. Because you love the thrill, you love your future to be in jeopardy. I am sure you have more than enough to live out the rest of your suns on an island being tended to be servants but you choose this life."
Viv walked back to her door without saying anything and opened it.
"What did he tell you?"
"Everything," Viv said, staring at the hallway in front of them.
"Are you really upset because I risked your future or was it because I bested you?" Ava took a step toward the door, and then another, "Or is it because you are hurt that I lied to you? Do you care about me, Vex?"
Viv didn't engage and it only served to rile Ava up more. She knew that she had some blame to take on from a purely moral standpoint but Viv was a shit human so she felt a bit better toying with her. Viv would have done the same if the situation were reversed. Ava took a few more steps until she was in front of the spy standing in the doorway.
"Cameron and Mal are sleeping in a guest cabin with Oceane tonight, a sleepover," Ava ran her hand down Viv's chest, "come by my room if you are feeling like burning off some pent-up energy. Betrayals can stir up so much aggression. But, I bet you know that from experience."
She reached for the handle and shut the door as she walked out. She stood on the other side and took a deep breath. Somehow, in their time at home, she had developed some sort of alternative persona. The same as Xyra, the same as Theo. It made her feel like she wanted to crawl out of her skin and a rock settled at the bottom of her stomach.
There was a manipulative side to her, a side that used people. She knew that Viv would be mad and she also knew Viv was an asset she couldn't quite lose. She needed to slowly get her back on Ava's side and what better way than speaking Viv's language? This act she put on was good at lying, good at pushing people's buttons, and good at playing with the strings. The Vaith inside of her was something she couldn't ignore, no matter how much she tried.
But she would use that for good, for once in her family's history.
Ava walked back to her room and was beginning to get undressed when there was a knock on her door.
"Come in!" she called out, "it's open!"
The door opened and she looked over to find Vivexa walking in and shutting the door. Without talking, Viv peeled her shirt off and Ava was quick to do the same and meet her halfway.
—---------------
There had been rough seas all morning and the damaged ship didn't help matters. Luckily, they were only a bit away from Niveal. The captain had even said docking could be as soon as a few hours away.
The attack had gone as planned. There was one death, accidental, but Brandon didn't seem too upset about the plan of having zero casualties failing. It was something to note. There was a hole on the ship that needed several suns to repair and the news went over well with everyone on the ship. Even Lord Cooker seemed excited. Ava would be lying if she said she wasn't bursting with joy that things had gone so well.
The only thing left was to hope Theo would receive her and hear her out. She needed someone besides Oceane to share the secret of Baethos with. There was a knock on her door and she called the person in. It was Viv and she shut the door behind her.
"Oi," she nodded her head toward Ava, "you heard that we will be docking soon?"
"Before nightfall," Ava nodded as she sat up in bed.
"Want to fuck one last time?"
Ava laughed, it wasn't an outlandish request. They had found each other's rooms quite a few times since their last big fight.
"No, I've been puking all morning," Ava said, she wasn't sure if it was from the nerves or from the choppy waters.
"Gross," Viv laughed then shrugged, "you could have just said the other truth which is you are preparing to bed Theo tonight and need to save your energy."
She shook her head and pulled the blanket off, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, "You forget, we don't even know if she will let me near her."
"With the way she talks to you in these letters, the answer is pretty obvious," Viv threw the bag on the bed.
"Letters?" Ava looked at the bag and reached inside to pull out a stack of envelopes, the seal on the top one had been broken.
"Right!" Viv snapped her fingers and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "the letters weren't something you knew about. Guess we both kept secrets."
Ava didn't know what she meant but the instant dread that washed over her brought tears to her eyes. She grabbed a letter and looked it over. The front of it was not addressed to anyone but there was a red streak of paint on it. The broken seal was one of Theo's, a mermaid. She felt like she couldn't swallow as she pulled out the letter. She was afraid to ask if the contents were good or bad.
Her eyes skimmed through the first few lines and the tears immediately began to fall. She threw the letter on the bed as she looked at the next one in the stack. Each one of them had a red mark and Theo's seal. She shook her head trying to think of what to do. She felt frozen.
"How?"
"Her deal with Jona wasn't for money. It was to get in contact with you. He told me, I intercepted the letters. Simple."
"You read them?" Ava felt a dagger lodge itself into her chest, those letters were for her and she felt violated.
"Jona and I had a good time going through them," Viv smirked as she crossed her arms, still standing in front of Ava, "well, he wasn't able to see all of them which was a shame. He would have enjoyed the rest."
"You waited this long to tell me? You let us go on these past suns like you weren't sitting on this the whole time?"
"Why tell you? I hadn't told you any other time I was sleeping with you."
"Because you knew you finally had to come clean," Ava scoffed, not understanding how Viv didn't get it. Or maybe she did and she did it on purpose.
She probably did.
"I don't know why you expected me to be any different with you than I am with everyone else."
"Get out," Ava closed her eyes to keep more tears from leaving her eyes, "get out, please. I don't have the energy to fight."
"Why? Are you hurt? Is it because I messed with your future? Or because I was a step ahead of you? Or is it because you care for me, princess?" Viv leaned forward, her grin only growing.
Ava ignored the dig, looking away and at the ground. Viv got the hint that Ava was not going to engage and backed away. She left, her footsteps loud as she exited the room. The door slammed behind her.
Ava sat on the bed and opened the first one. She felt scared. She couldn't tell what order it was in or even when it had been sent. Opening it gave no more information. She glanced at the top of the page.
Red,
I really hope these haven't been landing in the hands of your father. If you are reading this Lord Vaith. Fuck you. Also, your daughter had no idea I was going to start sending these.
I have become a comedian since you've been away.
I wanted to first update you on Oceane. She's not here yet. We haven't found her. If you are reading this, again I am just asking you to let me know if you have any additional information.
Ava threw the letter on the bed as the realization that Theo had changed hit her. It was overwhelming and she couldn't stand to finish it. But, she couldn't keep the envelopes away. She opened another one and found a passage.
I am really fucking sorry. I should have started with that. I know this letter seems all over the place but I have limited time to write this. I haven't told anyone I'm writing you. I'm not sure they would all be on board just yet.
Discarded. Another one was picked up.
I don't know if I can write these letters anymore, Red. You are not getting them, or you are and simply ignoring me. Which makes sense. But in either case, I should stop them. Right? It feels reckless but I'm not divulging anything important. I fear Xyra too much to be that risky.
She tossed that one aside. She picked up another one.
I feel the need to update you on crew matters but nothing too significant has occurred. Morgana and Tuni are going through a bit of a thing right now but with the way Morgana's griping on about Fortune, it won't be long until they both end up in each other's arms again.
Too much emotion from remembering caused her to release the paper like it had burned her. She was a glutton for punishment– or whatever it was– and picked up another one.
Thanks for teaching me how to write. Turns out, it comes in handy. I've gotten quite good at it. Well, you can be the judge of that.
Another one.
I've avoided this because I don't want to seem like a massive prick by just showering you with niceties in these letters but this is my last one and I'm not sure anyone is listening so I am just going to say it. I really fucking miss you. In the history of Baethos, there hasn't been anyone that has made such a colossal fuck up even with everyone telling them to do the opposite.
I don't know what the truth is. I don't know whether to believe that you are doing what you are doing for good or for the noble class but I know that no matter what you deserve an apology. I have done that many times in these letters, and it still is not enough. I am sorry to mar my apology and make it about myself but I couldn't sign off without telling you how I feel.
So if you are wondering if I miss you, I do. If you wonder if I regret everything, I do.
If you are looking for closure, I hope this does it. If you are looking to feel good at my expense, I hope this fuels you. If you are looking for a sign that it wasn't all fake, and that I do care, I hope this is it.
There was another paragraph but she couldn't read it. She picked up another letter and skimmed it as her door opened. Ava looked up to see Oceane, a smile on her face.
"Damn, Aubermasse hasn't sent you this many letters at once before," Oceane sat on the bed and picked one up skimming it. Her face fell as she realized what it was.
Ava snapped out of her shock to hold up the letter in her hand, "O, your brother is with them in Niveal and they have been looking for you since the beginning."
"No fucking way," Oceane plucked it from her hands and skimmed the letter, "Red, where did you get these?"
Ava was about to respond but the recent memory of Viv dropping them on her bed replayed in her head. It was a punch in the gut. She had grown close to Viv in their time together and it hurt that she had been just another one of Viv's marks. Which she should have seen coming.
Ava pushed that feeling aside and launched into her very dramatic retelling of the events, laced with a few tears that she tried to stop.
—-----------------
Oceane was pacing behind her as she looked in the mirror. The person staring back at her was new. She had on a short brown wig that made her look like a frail adolescent boy and her clothes were not helping. She had on borrowed clothes from a worker below deck that was closest in size to her. Even though it wasn't her color or her style, she much preferred the slightly musty clothes to her normal noble wear.
She looked different but the feeling was familiar. She turned around.
"I am going to faint," Ava put her hand on her stomach in hopes centering herself would settle the battle with her nerves.
"Can you just faint? It's never happened to me before," Oceane stopped her pacing to look over at Ava.
"Aye, I can faint," Ava shrugged, "it just happens. Rarely, though. I fainted once when I thought Xyra was going to torture me because she realized I was a Vaith."
"You think Theo changed her mind about wanting us back?" Oceane rubbed her hands together, "the letters just stopped."
"A dozen unanswered letters would make me stop too," Ava shrugged, "it must have been a big risk to send them to me. If there was no answer, why continue?"
"She was looking for me. She is looking for me," Oceane stated even though they both knew and it had already been mentioned many times.
Oceane was just as in shock about everything as Ava and even though they had spent the sun talking over what had happened, it was still fresh for both of them.
"Does that change things? Are you taking me up on my offer to let you go?" Ava asked and selfishly, she hoped Oceane stayed with her.
She had already found comfort in the fact that Oceane was going to stick around with her and she hoped the news didn't change things. But she wouldn't say that out loud, she would not influence her friend's decision
"No. I still feel the same. I will be returning with you to Aubermasse."
Ava nodded a bit.
"I'm glad we managed to get Viv to lay off coming," Oceane filled the silence.
"Brandon had no choice. The plan had to stay the same, Viv tails his father. Arnelo stays here to guard my room and keep an eye on soldier movements, we go to Theo's tavern," Ava shrugged, "I also may have flexed a bit of my proof that Theo will listen to us."
"The letters?"
"I just mentioned them," she confirmed, "I said that I had more power over Theo's opinion than he could even grasp and if he continued to rescind plans and tell people things without consulting with who he was working with that I could paint him in that light for Theo."
"Are you going to?" Oceane frowned.
"No. I will tell Theo everything I know and let her decide from there," Ava reassured with a smile, "He has one idea of what the Vaith name means and how we act, and just because I capitalize on it doesn't mean I will resort to that."
She seemed to accept the answer.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Oceane prompted.
"We can't leave yet. Boxes, remember?"
"I remember. Just don't get why it has to be on their time and not ours," Oceane looked at the door, giving away her impatience "also, I get why you have to be so secretive about leaving but I don't. They should send you in a box and then I can just walk there."
"If I get boxed, you get boxed," Ava laughed and sat on her bed, "boxes to the alleyway, alleyway to stumbler's row, stumbler's row to Marians, look for Theo, try to get Theo alone."
"She may not even be there."
"I'm sure someone at Marian's will know where she is," Ava solved the obstacle.
"I'm going to faint," Oceane stole Ava's line and threw herself across the bed.