3 years later....
"Yah Kim Jisoo!" I shout as I ran down the stairs. I'm so annoyed because her dog peed on my bed again.
I stop midway when I saw her on the couch, laughing with Jennie.
I shifted my gaze back to my sister after accidentally making eye contact with Jennie.
"Dalgom. I said he's banned in my room!"
"Then tell him that," she grinned.
"What did he do this time?" this time Jennie asked.
"Peed. Bed," I said simply, still not eyeing her.
It's just awkward to think about our arrangement years ago, yet she acts as if nothing happened.
"No way," she says, snickering with Jisoo. Then she stood up. "Let me get him-"
My gaze met hers.
"You're banned from entering my room too," I told her frankly.
"You're so dramatic," Jisoo rolled her eyes, "Until now you can't move on from your silly crush on Jennie?"
"Shut up," both Jennie and I answered in unison, making my sister chuckle.
My sister, who has no clue about my history with Jennie, her own bestfriend.
Ha.
"Wait until she hears you broke up with Liam," Jisoo's annoying smirk was irking me but once I processed her words, my brows shot up at Jennie.
Months after Jennie ended things with me, she started dating that Liam guy. They've been-had- dated for more than two years.
It was like a slap in the face, honestly. A huge fucking slap.
Anyway, that was long ago and I have moved on from her.
"Like I care," I glared at Jisoo, "You better clean that mess before I get back home from work."
"No way!"
I just continued glaring until I leave...
... not thinking about Jennie's relationship status at all.
-
jennie: found my picture in your room
lisa: no you did not
lisa: and did u just enter my room without permission????
jennie: jisoo tagged me with her when she cleaned your room
lisa: that fucker.
jennie: so... my pic?
lisa: shut up jen.
jennie: so there is? :o
"What the fuck are you up to Jennie Kim?"
I slammed my fist on my desk, catching the attention of some of my workmates.
If I could shrink on my sit, I would have right now.
"Sorry, Jisoo dared me to do that."
I almost jumped when the moment I came home, Jennie was the one who welcomed me.
"What are you still doing here?" I asked in annoyance while walking past her to the couch where I threw my bag.
"Uh, Jisoo left and I stayed?"
"Why did you stay?"
"Because I wanted to ask which picture of mine do you have in your room? Do I look pretty there?"
"Yeah, pretty annoying," I looked away to hide my hot cheeks, "There's no picture!"
"Really? I don't think so."
"You don't have to think so. Just leave if you have nothing else to do with my sister here."
She crossed her arms. "You've gotten more rude over the years."
"I'm at least nice to my friends."
"You're lowkey saying we're not friends, aren't you?"
"Damn. That's so smart of you to figure out," I said sarcastically, walking past her to get a bottle of water in the kitchen.
I felt her follow me but I ignored her presence as I opened the bottle and drank from it.
"Do you remember when we first did it? I was drinking from a bottle of water in your room," she was smirking when my eyes shifted to her.
I clenched my fist on the now empty bottle then threw it on the trash.
"Really?" I muttered in disinterest, "Can't really remember."
"I can help you remember," her voice went low and raspy as I felt her move closer, her fingers moving up my arm.
I'm not sure which game she's trying to play.
But one thing's for sure.
"I'd rather not remember," I pushed my lips to smile before lowering her hand away from me.
I went up and locked myself inside my room.
Away from Jennie and temptation.
-
"Jennie's inviting us to her parents' anniversary party," Jisoo threw the invite on my desk.
I shifted my gaze back to my book without a word.
"Just so you know," she huffs, "She's still not over her ex."
"And?" I raised a brow.
"So don't try anything funny. You still don't stand a chance."
I smiled bitterly. "As if I'll ever want anything to do with her."
-
jennie: why didn't you come?
I locked my phone before throwing it on my bed.
-
Jennie
I frowned, seeing that Lisa left my message on read.
"Is that Liam again?" Jisoo raised her brows. "Girl I swear, you won't get over him if you keep—"
"It's not him," I scoffed.
I've moved on before we even broke up. I think we both knew that break up was bound to happen eventually.
"Oh. Got eyes on someone new?"
New? Hm.
How do I tell her I've tried to divert my eyes from her sister but... dammit.
"Not really," I let myself fall on my bed, face first, then mumbled, "I fucked us up long ago."
She gasps. "Is it Mingyu?"
"No."
"Wonwoo?"
"Hell no," I lifted my head to glare at her, "He cheated on me, remember?"
"Then who?"
"I'll tell you about it next time," I buried my face again.
"So you never told me about this person?" she sounded betrayed.
"Chuuu. Next time alright?"
"Fine! Fine!"
I just can't tell her yet. I know she will freak out.
Besides... I still have a lot of winning back to do.
-
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Small world, eh?" I smiled, leaning my arms from behind the couch she's sitting on in this high end bar.
I took my chances, actually. I heard from Jisoo that Lisa frequents this bar because it's near her workplace.
She's wearing just a black tank top and black jeans with a leather belt on.
"Sorry," a girl suddenly sits beside her, failing to notice me as she kisses Lisa's cheek, "Line in the restroom's too damn long."
I straightened up then frowned. I think that's when this girl noticed me.
She looked at Lisa questioningly, who uncomfortably shifted on her seat.
"Angel, this is Jennie. My sister's friend. Jen, Angel's my..."
"Friend," Angel supplied at Lisa's loss of words.
Oh. So she still casually hooks up with girls.
But the way she possessively clinged to Lisa made me raise a brow.
"Care to join us?"
I was surprised that girl asked. I smiled, of course, and took up her invitation. "Of course."
I sipped on the glass I'm holding, crossing my bare legs. Both their eyes landed on it.
Good thing I chose to wear my shortest black dress today.
"So you came here alone?" Angel questions me with a small smile.
"Targeting to not go home alone," I quip a smile Lisa's way.
Her eyes remained on the table.
"Sounds fun," Angel giggles. "Found any target yet?"
"Still looking," I forced a smile.
She just smiled back before turning her attention to Lisa.
There's this unsettling churning in my stomach when she tilted her head to kiss Lisa, who kissed her back sloppily.
I'm not sure if her cheeks were flushed because of drunkenness or because she's kissing Angel.
I'd hate to think this girl got Lisa's cheeks that hot.
Forcing myself to look away, I thought it would feel better but I still hear their giggles and chuckles.
"Should we go?" Lisa asks her.
"Just 10 more minutes, please?"
"You're lucky you're cute."
What am I doing?
Here I am, pining over this woman I trashed more than once over the years. Just because I was scared of the complications being with her meant.
Being with her meant I would have to be out of the closet. Out to my bestfriend, her sister. Being with her meant I would have to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't do relationships, but once asked to be with me. Being with her meant doing more than what we used to have: casual sex.
She was the only person I ever allowed myself to explore in that way. I would rather be in a relationship than be in that kind of situationship, yet I still allowed myself to try. With her.
And even when I convinced myself it was not worth it, after all these years, I still doubt that decision.
To be honest, our very first kiss alone was already an indication that I would never get enough of her. Sleeping with her later on just made it worse. Stopping myself further just made this thing I feel for her irreparable.
Maybe I've drunk too much that I didn't even notice the time pass. They were bidding me goodbye.
Angel, you're so fucking lucky you'll get to have her tonight.
"Do you need a ride?" Lisa offers before they go.
That's the first time she actually talked to me tonight.
"No but thanks," my words slurred. Am I that drunk?
"Are you sure?" she sounded... worried.
"Yeah. Don't worry about me."
I tried to stand but my world was already spinning.
Well, fuck.
Next thing I know, I was being woken up by Lisa. I'm sitting in a car.
Her car?
"Hey, we're here at your house," she unbuckles my seatbelt for me then extends her arm while holding my shoulders.
She helped me get on my own feet outside her car, but instead of letting her drag me from there, I wrapped my arms around her nape.
"Does it still feel like I'm begging to be fucked?" I chuckled under my breath, "Because I suck at begging to be loved."
"Is this the part where you drunk call your ex?" her tone was taunting.
I pulled away to look her in the eyes. "He's not the one I should get over with."
"Come on, Jen," she silently tugs me but I didn't bulge.
"Where's your date?" I look into her eyes. "Dumped her for me?"
"Look who's so full of herself."
"You didn't answer."
"You passed out," she furrows her brows, "What am I supposed to do? Leave you there?"
"Or you both could drive me home then fuck later on. But she's not in your car now, is she?"
Alcohol was making me too damn bold.
"Whom I sleep with and when I sleep with them is none of your business," she spat, trying to tug me again.
But I recoiled again.
Instead, I wrapped my arms around her torso and buried my face on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," when I spoke, she froze, "Wish I'd known better than to be a coward who dropped us just like that."
"Jen, you just got out of a serious relationship. Trying to use other people to move on is-"
"That break up was a relief to both of us, Lisa, believe me," I was at the verge of tearing up but I kept trying to hold it back. "Please give me a chance."
"Jennie Kim," she sighs. "You do nothing but confuse me. First, all the sexual innuendos. Then acting jealous, and now..."
"Confessing," I breathed in and out, "Asking for another chance."
"And then you'll just do it again. Back out, ask me to forget all about it," she shakes her head, successfully pulling out from my grasp. "Just sleep it out, Jennie."
"Is there really no chance?" I asked, losing confidence all of a sudden.
I hate how those big brown eyes looked at me sadly.
"You were the one who refused to give us a chance."
-
Jisoo knows.
God, I was so drunk one time I kept talking about Lisa.
The next day, she demanded to know the whole truth.
"How could you not tell me!"
"Because we knew that's how you'd react," I sighed, trying to nurse my hangover with the soup Jisoo bought me.
"You're unbelievable," she placed both hands on her hips, "All this time, it was my sister that got you that heartbroken? Oh my God. Tell me everything now!"
It's been a month since I last saw Lisa. A month of feeling myself break more than how it felt when I broke up with Liam.
I hesitated, ashamed of what I've done not because it's with her sister but because I fucked up.
So her outburst when I finally told her everything was reasonable.
"Jen, you know I love you girl but that's my sister you used!" she growled. "You know I would've been fine if you two hid your relationship from me but it's not even a relationship! You've hurt her, dammit! Do you know how selfish and reckless you've been?"
"I'm sorry," I lowered my gaze.
"Just because I diss her for having a crush on you doesn't mean you can play with her feelings for real," she was mad as hell.
I felt even more ashamed. I couldn't look her in the eyes.
She really was pissed, she didn't talk to me for days.
I didn't think I'd feel more down than I have already.
So when I couldn't take the cold treatment anymore, I took in all the courage to knock into their door.
And almost wither when I was met with those big brown eyes.
"Hey," her face lit up.
I almost had high hopes with her reaction.
"Are you here for Jisoo? You two should really make up. I kept telling her I'm fine already but your fight is really affecting her."
I miss my bestfriend too.
"I'm sorry I told her without asking you first."
"It's okay. I just didn't expect you'd actually... admit it to her," she widened the door for me to enters then closed it behind me. "She's in-"
"What are you doing here?" my bestfriend's tone was sharp from the staircase.
"Chu..."
Her eyes went back and forth between me and Lisa.
"We're really over it now, Jisoo," Lisa sighed. "It's too long ago."
"But she's still hung up on you!"
I felt like she just threw ice cold water on me. Even Lisa's eyes shifted to me, probably uncomfortably.
"And if I'm being honest," Jisoo frowned at her sister. "You look like you feel the same way. After everything she's done, Lis? And you're my baby sister. How could my bestfriend do that to you?"
Trying to shake away the thought that Lisa feels the same way, I tried to approach my friend.
"I'm so sorry," I plead, earning her glare, "Don't worry, I don't stand a chance anymore. I won't push it anymore... Chu, I should have been more careful I admit. But I was just... I don't know... I really liked her. I've always had this thing for her that I was trying to suppress because of so many things and I'm not even out. I was just so scared-"
"You wouldn't have lost me, you know?" her face softened, "Had you told me back then, I would have accepted and supported you. And if you two wanted a relationship, I would have supported you two without doubt because I want you to be happy and even if I bully the hell of that bitch—" she pointed at Lisa then smiled a little, "I love her a lot too— ew, forget I ever said that."
Lisa chuckled from behind me. "Cringe but I love you too. Okay, am I still needed her or can I puke away already?"
"Ass," Jisoo said, though with a hint of a smile. "We'll be in my room and don't eavesdrop."
Lisa rolled her eyes while I gulped, knowing Jisoo is going to give me a whole lot of sister-talk.
-
"So you two good?"
I jumped when I heard Lisa's voice come out from the kitchen after I came out from the restroom.
"Yeah, I guess..." I can't help but smile a little.
"You learned your lesson. Never mess with the baby sister," she joked light heartedly.
It still made me feel bad.
"I never meant to," I quietly but sincerely said, "I'm really sorry, Lisa. I wish I knew better then."
"You know better now," she shrugs. "Lessons learned."
"Do you really have to be my biggest lesson in the past? Can't it be..." I bit my lip. "Sorry."
"Jisoo was right, you know?" she stepped closer.
My knees almost trembled when she raised her hand, her thumb grazing my cheek. My eyes almost instantly closed but I wanted to look at those clear, brown eyes that I missed so much.
"That I fucked up?"
"That I'm still hung up on you," she sighs, "Maybe some lessons are meant to stay?"
Tears glimmered in my eyes. "Will you stay, then?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking?"
"I don't know how to prove that I won't fuck up again," I scaredly say, "But I want to show you by not letting you go."
"We will see, then. We will see, Jennie..." she says absent-mindedly before taking a few steps backward, her smile small but calm.
That's enough indication for me that although not now, maybe one day I can prove myself to her.
-End-
A/N: open ended this one so yall can create a special chapter in your heads yaaay (aka me being lazy)
but in all seriously, i wasnt sure about giving this one a happy ending so i'll just see u all on my next shot ahaha