𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘽𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪- 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙅｡ 𝘽𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙚
This song and eren and y/n. It captures the more toxic aspects of them 😇
Tw: violence and stalking
~
Sleep didn't come. You patiently waited, as astute as child waiting for Father Christams to come shuffling down the chimney, for the hands of Sleep to arrive. You patiently waited for them to gently lift you from the bedsheets and take you into the secret world of the subconscious. You heard it was quiet there, away from the ringing of gunshots and the trauma of abuse. You heard it was an escape, an escape from the stench of blood that plagued your nostrils and the metallic odour of the bullets. You heard it was a sanctuary, a place that saved those who had lost their hearts.
Sleep didn't come because every time you shut your eyes, you saw Sasha's bleeding body. You saw those streaks of crimson staining her pretty dress. You saw the alarm in those eyes. Was she still alive? What was Nicolo doing? There you were, being jealous of their happiness, wishing it was you with a lover and now you were the direct reason that one of them could possibly never breathe again. You hadn't meant to hurt Sasha. You hadn't meant to hurt Jean or Eren. But if so, how did those you loved always end up being hurt by you?
You had expected to come back to Sina and have smooth sailing, build a friendship or two, make some grades and get to university. You did not want to be entangled in this, you did not want to live with the sight of guns clouding your vision every time you closed your eyes. How had it come to this?
The first tendrils of light crept around your curtains, it was coming to some minutes to six and you laid completely still, as if you were a doll put to rest in a toy box. You didn't mind swapping a toy box for a coffin at this point. More tears ran down to your ears, due to your position, and you swallowed thickly.
You wondered how many hours of sleep you gotten. Your eyes felt dry despite the endless waterfall streaming out of them and your body felt heavy. You had come home at some minutes past one and Dionne didn't exactly ask about what had happened with Marco. If you were being honest, she didn't even try to hide the fact she wasn't his biggest fan. Secretly, she was glad you hadn't gone to some fancy hotel with him.
On the topic of Dionne, she had also been dismissive with you as well as Marco. As much as she really was trying, this whole parenting gig just simply wasn't cut out for her. That small week away had done her wonders and sometimes it felt a little like she still believed she was free of responsibility over you. Despite that, you were still grateful for the fact she was feeding you and housing you, keeping you company in the moments you felt most alone. Several times had the thought of simply knocking on her bedroom door and coming clean crossed your mind. She was a therapist after all. But, you severely doubted that a woman who was usually was bound to giving couples new ways to spice up their marriage would be any help with the trauma of watching someone get shot.
Snivelling, you tried your phone one more time. Jean still didn't pick up. You knew he was awake due to the fact he had made a big deal of opening your text message and not bothering to reply. You had sent him at least three paragraphs, grovelling for forgiveness. You were hunting for forgiveness but...you weren't exactly sorry. How could you be when Eren's photo was currently laying on your chest? With shaking hands, you picked up the photo and held in a small sob. You sounded like a greatly wounded animal, nothing like the boisterous girl who thought she could tackle the criminal life.
Trembling fingers stroked over the contours of his bruised face, the stiff pout of his full but cut lips, the furrow in his brow that was created whenever he was frustrated. Your short time had felt like a lifetime. You knew every crevice of his skin, every freckle was marked to memory. You could trace every scar, every bruise he'd get from the dumbest of things such as hitting his shin on the corner of his bed. You knew what would make him laugh, what would make him cry. You thought you knew that he'd never leave you, come rain or shine. But you were wrong about that.
Maybe you fell asleep then, maybe you were still awake. You couldn't tell. The lines of reality were blurring with each drop of your eyelids. You gathered that you must have slept for some time as the next thing you heard was Dionne leaving the house for work. Rising like a zombie, you ran a hand over your face, stepping over your prom dress that was simply a heap on your bedroom floor.
Even after running a hot shower for nearly thirty minutes, you still felt as disgusting as you did from the moment you stepped inside. Sitting on your desk, you realised that you were looking worse than you probably did when Eren initially left you. And now...you where going to go crawling back to him? No. You were just concerned for his well-being, it didn't mean you were still dreaming of a life with him.
It was crunch time. Eren could be anywhere and were you seriously just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself? If you were a dirty criminal, where you take a boy hostage? You gnawed your lower lip as you grabbed your post-its and a Sharpie. Beginning to write down each possible contact you could as about Eren's whereabouts, you let your mind wonder. What for his was all trap? What if this was Eren finding a twisted way to lure you back to him?
If so, he didn't need an elaborate plan. You had more than lied in your last statement to him. You would most certainly be there if Eren came looking. Jean was being unfair, you couldn't just switch your feelings for someone off. The ones you still had for Eren were at a raging high and you just couldn't stop them.
The strangest part was, you carried not one ounce of regret. Of course you cared about Jean, of course you cared about his feelings but making you feel guilty for the ones you had for Eren was something simply not possible. You wanted to go over there, to apologise to all of them and check in on Sasha, if she even was there, but Eren was your first love. He came first.
Dropping your notes, you headed over to the wardrobe and removed your pair of trusty jeans. You had had them for one year too many but you didn't have the heart to throw them away. The blue was fading into a murky grey colour and the belt loops had torn off but they were still special. Besides, the front pockets were actually real and they were deep, too. You always had a little bit of spare change inside of them. You reached for a basic t-shirt and your Converse. You were hunting for answers, not heading to Fashion Week.
Your phone battery was low, seeing as you hadn't charged it. It was hovering at around thirty percent but there was no time plug it in. With a groan, you stuffed it into your back pocket and grabbed your sticky note, hurrying down the stairs. Skipping breakfast, you darted out of the door, scrolling through your contacts list for Ymir.
"Pick up...c'mon, pick up." You whispered, heading down the street.
Monkey Motors was at least a twenty-minute walk, which was why you chosen to take the bus on your first time there, and now you felt like walking. Walking so you could go over your plan. If Marley didn't give you the results you desperately needed, you were heading to Paradis Pleasure. You'd squeeze something out of Levi if you had to. You had given up on Eren once, you weren't going to do it again. Never again.
After the call went to voicemail, you didn't bother calling again. You would see her soon enough, anyway. What if Eren was scared? Completely traumatised and never the same again? You knew that look he got in his eyes, the way those pupils dilated and almost tried to swallow up his irises. It was almost animalistic. You remembered that evening when he had snuck into your room, after finding that pink dress, he also found large spider in the corner. You'd never let him hear the end of how he practically pounced on you like a fish out of water.
It lead you to think of that first day on the beach, the way you could feel the waves of connection as he rolled onto his side to face you. A small part of you were aware that this boy was the one. That this boy was the one who would steal your heart.
It was only a matter of time before your feet found you a steer away from the stupid establishment that you had come accustomed to. Before you crossed the road, you waited for a black SUV to drive past. It was driving slow, maybe below twenty as it cruised down the street. They clearly didn't know the area very well. Realising that you had more important things to do than direct strangers around your hometown, you stormed over to Monkey Motors, fists beating against that shutter frantically.
"Zeke Jaeger! I know you're in there! You're not gonna bully me into leaving this time. Open this damn door." You yelled, cupping your hands around your mouth as you attempted to summon him.
You ran your fingers over the threads of your cardigan as you patiently waited. You refused to move until that side door opened. It could have been a minute, maybe two, but you knew Zeke was beat as he peeked at you through one of the upstairs windows, making you notice the shift in the curtains. It was only a matter of time before the door opened and poked his head around, scowling at you but leaving the door open. Maybe to was just you who wanted some answers today.
You followed him in, inhaling that all too familiar scent of tar and coolant used for the air conditioning. Zeke must have clearly just gotten out of bed as he stood, shirtless, squinting at you without his glasses. It was not the position you had been expecting to find him in, that's for sure. But, it wasn't going to deter you.
"y/n...it's not even nine in the morning yet. What do you want this time?" He hissed.
Removing the image from your back pocket, you glared at him, brandishing the image.
"Eren's been kidnapped. Where is he?" You demanded, crossing your arms over your chest.
Zeke laughed. It was bitter laugh that had his lips twisting in sick amusement. Finally calming down, he rested his hips against the customer service desk, those cold blue eyes fixing on you.
"That fucker's dead to me. Whatever happens is on him. I honestly could not give a flying fuck about Eren." Harshly spat out the blonde.
Flabbergasted, you wavered in your confidence. This was not what you had been expecting at all.
"But...but he's your brother." You gasped, blinking at him in total disgust.
Zeke yawned, running a hand down his face, already bored with the conversation.
"Yeah, he's my half brother. I should have left him where he was. After everything I did for him, after everything I gave him, he goes ahead and stabs me in the back, selling my business from under me. I'm trying to build a fucking empire and all along he was scheming behind my back. Well, off a clear to say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I bet that's his mother worked her way in with my mom and dad, one minute she was just a friend the next she snatched my mom's husband from under her." He snapped, pinching his nose bridge.
Eren tried selling Monkey Motors? But why? And...more importantly, who to? Before you could ask any follow-up questions, a whisper of hushed giggles sounded from the stairs as Ymir rushed down, followed by a lithe blonde who you worked out to be Historia.
"Oh God! y/n, I honestly wasn't expecting you." Gasped the brunette, ruffling her hair and holding Historia behind her, slightly.
You were aware you looked a state, but she didn't need to rub it in. Rolling your eyes, you turned go our new focus on her.
"Well, you would have known if you answered the damn phone. And, hello to you too, Historia." You snapped, sarcastically.
You didn't want to take full credit for their relationship, but the blonde could at least show a smidge of gratitude to you instead of completely ghosting you ever since. Shyly, Historia waved at you from behind Ymir.
"What are you doing over here?" Questioned Ymir, throwing an anxious glance at Zeke.
What were they aware of that you weren't?
"I'm looking for Eren. He's been kidnapped." You deadpanned, turning your full attention to her.
The news didn't exactly surprise her as she led Historia to the door, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and a goodbye as the blonde left. Knowing that Historia was gone, she locked the door, leaning against it as she narrowed her eyes at you.
"Well, when he tries to sell the business and just ups and leaves, he doesn't exactly deserve an entire search party, does he? I've got a girlfriend to provide for now, I don't have the time to be risking my ass over stupid shit. So as much as it pains me to say, you're in your own for this one y/n." Frowned Ymir, averting the contact.
You didn't even try to suppress your temper. It flared from somewhere deep inside as you glared at the two in front of you for their pure lack of empathy. Disgusted form even begin to cover your feelings.
"You guys are kidding right? How selfish could you all possibly be? That first night when you invited me for dinner, you sat here gloating about all of your experiences. None of them would have been possible without him. And if the pair of you are ungrateful pieces of shit, I'm not. Eren tries his best and didn't deserve any of you. I bet he sold this business for a good reason because he didn't need your shit in his life." You snapped, heading for the door.
You had no idea why you actually thought you were going to get any answers from here. Eren had told you the cold, hard truth from day one. These people weren't his friends, just a bunch of familiar strangers. Zeke would be Zeke, but Ymir's rejection of your case hurt the most. You were friends, weren't you?
"y/n, stop this. You might be getting yourself involved with something really dangerous. Eren made his bed, he can lie in it now. This isn't your problem. He dumped you for no good reason, and you're about to put yourself in trouble for him?" Barked Ymir, almost attempting to block the door.
Her concerns didn't even deserve an answer from you as gave her a withering glare, silently demanding she moved. Running a hand down her face, she finally gave in, mumbling something under breath in Spanish.
"Don't say we didn't warn you." Came Zeke's ominous warning as you stepped out of the door.
Tears welled in your eyes at the total amount of defeat you felt rest on your shoulders like a cloak of despair. You refused to be deterred. Without meaning to, they had given you do me kind of information. If that meant breaking in and sneaking into Eren's room at night, you were prepared to do so. He wasn't going to leave you again.
Opening your phone and adding the new details about the fact Eren was attempting to all Monkey Motors to your notes, you crossed the road. But surprise met you as the same black SUV passed in front of you. Was the driver still lost?
It had nothing to do with you, but it didn't change the fact that it was still catching your attention. You saw black SUV's on the daily, why was this particular one a stand-out to you? Moving away from your distracted thoughts, you decided to keep walking to the other side of town. You had no purpose, no direction, but you wanted a clear head. You weren't going to help out Eren with a fried mess of a brain.
Glancing back down at your phone, you winced at the fact Jean was still ignoring you. It hurt, it really did. But if the choice ever came again, you knew it would always be Eren a thousand times over. You had told Jean you didn't have feelings straight off the bat, you were still hurting over Eren. Why couldn't he just understand that?
You passed the dirt track that Eren had taken you to for his face with Annie, where the pair of you had had your first kiss and felt your face grow hot. It was a burst of memories, like you had just entered a paint festival. You couldn't allow yourself to go back to those memories. This was strictly professional, you were doing all of this for old times sake, that was all. You had moved past the industrial site to a small business park, glass buildings taking up most of the scenery. You couldn't help but take a glance at your reflection in the windows of the retail offices.
It wasn't your reflection that made your blood run cold, nor was it the crackle of thunder from the darkening skies above. It was the SUV that was slowly cruising behind you. It wasn't in a rush, why would it be when it had its target in sight? Your weren't near another neighbourhood for at least a quarter of a mile, let alone any shopping districts.
Had it followed you all the way from Monkey Motors? More importantly, what the hell did it want? Purposely, you didn't around, instead deciding to increase your pace, grateful for the screen of glass that allowed you to look behind without turning your head. But, the panicked sweat didn't start rolling over your skin until you heard a car door close. Being a slave to your instincts, you spun around, catching sight of two burly men heading straight towards you.
Fight or flight instincts kicking in, the pent-up adrenaline in your body forced you into a run. The slaps of your beat Converse against the concrete the perfect soundtrack for your heart rate.
"Stop! We just want to talk!" Called a gruff voice from behind, slowly gaining ground on you.
In the movies, you always joked that if it was you being hunted down, you'd keel over and die. But now, in a position fighting for your life, you were about to do anything but. You turned down a side street, swearing when you arrived at a dead end. This is not where it ended, you refused to believe so. Removing your phone from your pocket, you opened up your contacts, jumping out of your skin when the footsteps behind you stopped, forcing you to drop your phone to the floor.
"Don't you know it's rude to run when people are taking to you?" Provoked one of your predators.
You stumbled backwards as they made their way forwards.
"I don't know who you are, or what the hell you want, but stay the fuck away from me." You yelled, reaching down for your phone.
It happened in a split second, the lunge, the hit, and the way you fell backwards. The speaker's accomplice has tackled you to floor, winding you in the process. Finding the air to scream, you frantically kicked your legs at anything that moved. Tip of your shoe colliding with your attackers face as you rolled about. Using the opportunity that you had created by momentarily blinded him, you turned to your front seizing your phone and pressing on the first contact you could.
"Hi, this is Mikasa's voicemail. I'm not with my phone right now so leave a message, yeah?" Sang the voice you hadn't heard in ages.
Did it have to be her of all people? Your legs were dragged from behind you, making your skin scratch against the sidewalk. Your arm was just beginning to heal as well! You were going for your three-week review in a few days!
"Mikasa! Please you need to help. It's me y/n! The industrial estate!" You screamed before your phone went dead.
At first, you thought that someone had broken it, but your heart sank as you realised the battery had died. Neglecting your device, you rolled onto your back, struggling against your captor. You wriggled your ankle out of his grasp, not even registering the pain your body was in, and you scrambled to your feet. Tears lined your vision as you backed up against a gate, spreading your hands out in front you.
"Hate it when they put up a fight. The boy was the same, wasn't he? The Warhammer said to keep her alive. Doesn't mean we can't rough her up." One said to the other.
You couldn't distinguish their faces, your body's full attention on preserving your life. One reached for you again, but you drew your hand back, ready for a sucker punch to the jaw, but your wrist was seized. It was a filthy clammy grasp and screaming like a school girl on helium, you flew your knee up straight into his balls. As he buckled, the other took his place, clamping a hand over your mouth as you resisted.
Not giving it a second thought, you sunk your teeth into the flesh of his palm, writhing like fish bait. Gritting his teeth, the man didn't hesitate to use his other arm and punch your straight across the face. To say you fell like The Colossus of Rhodes was an understatement. Painfully, you crashed to the ground, preserving your wrist and landing hard on your knees instead. Spots danced in your vision, taunting you, and you struggled to formulate at least one clear thought.
"Take her away." Was the last thing you heard.
•••
Eventually, your eyes fluttered open, nose wrinkling at the smells of tobacco and sweat. Your were wedged between two firm shoulders, in the back seat of a car that was driving well over the speed limit. The two goons besides you didn't even flinch to the fact you were awake. Your head was pounding and your mouth had never felt so dry.
The recollection of memories flooded through you, and you drew in a loud breath, arms ready to flail until your felt restrictions. Glancing down, you realised your wrists were bound together by thick ropes. You couldn't even imagine the damage that has been done to your healing injury. Blinking back your tears, you teeth sank into your lower lip as the car drew to a slow outside the gates of a manufacturing base. You craned your neck for a closer view at the company logo on the side of the warehouse and your mouth fell open in shock.
Tybur Titan Mart.
Why on earth would these hitmen want to bring you here? You were one of the fucking employees and last time you and checked, you hadn't broken any of the code of conducts. No one in the vehicle said a word as the car made its way past the barrier and down a lane.
"Move." One of the strangers commanded, as the car stopped, and they began to dismount.
In your handicapped state, your struggled out of the vehicle as best as you could, but still ended up with your upper arms being gripped as you were forcibly dragged to the main doors. You caught sight of shopping carts, stacked crates of company goods and small little door. You wondered where it led to.
Hastily, you were taken up a set of metal stairs that ran along the sides of the building, leaving a gap so the people on the platform above could see the work happening down below. You guessed today must have been an off day. You walked along the platform to an office, body aching with every step. The door was pushed open without knocking and your mouth dropped open.
The room was fairly tidy with a neat filing cabinet and a framed photo or two on the wall. There was a desk that was currently being sat on by a blonde, older man with calculating eyes. You had seen him before. He was the man that Eren had taken a meeting with in that oriental restaurant. And the boy in question we right in the centre of the room.
It was only from the back but from the first glance you knew it was Eren Jaeger. The silky dark hair that rested just past his neck, and the broad back that was covered by a white shirt.
"Ah, would it be a little cliché to say I was expecting you, y/n l/n? I see you got our message." Laughed the man, twisting a revolver in his hands.
You glanced at the plaque on the desk: Wilbur Tybur. There was no doubt this was the brother Lara had mentioned. You had known him all along! Kicking yourself for not noticing this all before, you were shoved further into the room.
At the mention of your name, the boy in the chair immediately turned. Those expressive eyes landed onto yours and your breath hitched. Gone was that exotic sparkle that reminded you of a secluded lagoon of tranquility, gone were the small creases that lined his pretty face whenever he smiled at you, because right now, Eren wasn't smiling. His eyes reminded you of a flat line, no longer beating with life or energy. It was like he was seeing straight through you, or seeing nothing at all.
After he dropped your gaze, completely disinterested, you decided to let your eyes roam over his marker features. There was a cut at the corner of his plush, bottom lip and there was a stark bruising around his jaw and cheek. There was a gash in his forehead, too. Just knowing that Eren had been in so much turmoil, so much distress whilst you cavorted around with his enemy hurt more than being knocked out like a light.
"Let's just give it a moment for you and your girlfriend to be reacquainted, Eren." Taunted Tybur as you were pulled closer, adjacent with Eren who sat hunched in his chair.
You watched the shape line of Eren's jaw as clenched it and he glared down the man in front of him.
"Ex. She's my ex-girlfriend. Bringing her over here is pointless, you're gonna get nothing out of her or me." Eren snapped.
You didn't expect the wave of sadness that hit your bones hearing those words. Hearing him call it official was something you weren't ready for. His voice had it's usual edge when he was pent-up, but there was something missing. It was like he had completely given up, lost all the passion that made him so appealing.
"Aw, how bittersweet teenage love is. I honestly couldn't care if she was your second-cousin third time removed. She could know something. And I'm getting fucking tired of going around in circles with you, Eren. That being said, me and you are going to play a little game. Are you familiar with the term 'Russian Roulette'?" Questioned the man in the pinstripe suit, reaching for something in his top draw.
Yours and Eren's mouth hung open. This man couldn't be serious, could he? What the hell had you gotten into moving back here? Tybur retrieved two bullets from their casing, placing them into the barrel. He scooted forth on the desk once more, crossing his ankles as he used his other hand to tuck the loose strands of his hair.
"I had asked you six questions before she had walked in, fair enough you gave me the right answer for all of them. But...a little force was necessary for the last two, wasn't it? Every action has a consequence and it's time for yours, young man. A bullet for both questions, it's a fair deal isn't it?" Questioned the blonde, spining the barrel and handing the gun to Eren.
You watched his Adam's apple bob, and the way his fingers curled around the gun with causal ease. For a split-second, you witnessed the way his eyes quickly flicked around the room, no doubt calculating the best means for escape. Tybur caught up on this, too, as his gaze darkened.
"Don't try anything funny. I'll have a bullet in your neck by the time you even raise the gun to me." Threatened Willy.
Carefully, Eren raised the gun and rested it against his lips, shutting his eyes for a long moment. You couldn't resist the small, strangled noise that escaped your lips. There was a four out of six chance that Eren could survive, but the image of his brains being blown out on the floor in front of you had you squirming beyond belief.
Opening his eyes with new conviction, Eren opened his mouth, placing the gun between his parted lips as his finger squeezed the trigger. The sound of the gun just managed to overpower your screech as you squeezed your eyes shut, unable to watch Eren potentially kill himself. Slowly opening your eyes, you blinked in disbelief to see Eren still completely intact, looking just about as horrified as you.
Tybur steeped his fingers in front of him, calculating the two of you.
"You can call yourself lucky, Mr Jaeger. But, onto you, Miss l/n. Trust me, you're a hard girl to get a hold of. But then I find out the girl I've been looking for works for my sister and there was no way I was missing out on the opportunity." He mused, reached for his cane and stepping off the table.
"Sir, please. I won't say anything, but I honestly don't think I'm the person you want to be asking about whatever it is you do. I just graduated high school!" You blurted, noting a searing pain that ran up your face as you moved your jaw to speak.
He laughed to himself at your words and blinked at you.
"You're a pretty one, aren't you? I don't get why this boy would call you an ex. Maybe it's because of this big mouth of yours that you just can't keep shut. " He chuckled, stroking his thumb over your bottom lip.
Moving your chin out of his grasp, you blinked at Eren to do something, anything. Waving of the henchmen, Tybur curled his hand around your upper arm.
"I want my answers, Eren. I'm going to get them one way or another." Barker Tybur, cane arching and swiping out your back legs.
Without your arms available to stop you, you fell to the floor like a fallen tree. What had you done to deserve this? Without stopping, the toe of Tybur's Oxfords smashed into your side, knocking your breath out of your lungs. A small whimper escaped your lips at the sudden pain. Attempting to move away, you scrambled to your knees until the end of the cane slamming into your lower back.
"I could do this all night. It's your call to tell me when to stop. If you really don't know anything, you'd let me carry on." Proposed Tybur, kicking you back down.
Eren watched the torture the blonde was inducing onto your body, heart in his mouth. Maybe if you could hold out just a little longer, you might spare both of your lives. He winced as he watched your keel onto your side, trying to suppress his feelings. He thought he could ignore the hurt that wracked him as you writhed in pain, but the moment the first sob escaped your lips he couldn't do nothing and watch the girl he loved get hurt.
"Stop! Just fucking stop! I don't know anything and hurting her isn't going to change that. Leave her alone!" Yelled Eren, eyes blazing.
Kicking you onto your side, Tybur frowned as you cried, clothing your already bruising middle.
"I see how it's going to be. Maybe some time together will jog both of your memories. Lock them up." He ordered.
—
a/n: a lot to take in, I know. But y/n and Eren will have time to iron out the truths in the next chapter.
Hope you enjoyed! ❤