And we're back. . .Back to Aspen's Pov and misery for a bit, It will start to look up soon. . .And stay looking up for a while.
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Miserable minutes turned into hours, Days, Weeks, Months.
So many times I had wanted to just turn around, Retrace my steps and return to Emory, To just curl up in his arms where I am safe and loved.
The bus drove me a county over before reaching the end of it's line.
I got off there and just wandered the city under the light of the setting sun.
That night, I slept in an abandoned building that was drafty and very cold.
It was fine though. I couldn't turn back. I had to be strong and I had to let the others move on.
So I held back my tears and pushed on.
I found a job at a nearby restaurant/Bar.
It payed minimum wage but it was something. . .They didn't question where I was from or the fact that I didn't tell them my last name.
Really it screamed suspicious, Especially when they were fine with paying me in cash instead of paychecks.
But a job was a job. . .And my co-workers were nice.
The chefs let me have any leftovers for lunch and supper and my fellow waitstaff would always cover for me when some of the 'less savory' customers would start harassing me.
Eventually, I got my first wage and was able to rent a very cheap and potentially very bug infested apartment.
But. . .It was a roof over my head and it wasn't drafty. . .So a plus?
Many nights I cried myself to sleep, Mourning what I'd left behind.
Some nights were worse than others. . .Those mornings I'd wear makeup on my arms when I'd go into work.
Many times I wished that the dull pocket knife I had would cut deep enough so that I wouldn't wake come morning.
Sometimes I'd come close. . .But still, I never actually managed to.
I tried to avoid looking at my soulmarks when I'd have cold morning showers, Wishing that the three of them were happy together.
Emory could be with Channing without having to worry about upsetting me, Their lives could be looking up without me there bringing them down.
Many nights my mind would focus on the reasons they all were unhappy. . .How I ruined their lives.
Channing was a happy, Sweet and kind boy before we met. . .Afterwards?. . .Well. . .Not so much.
Daniel had a respected teaching position. . .After what I did. . .We were just sent on field trips. . .Constantly.
And Emory. . .He could have had all his soulmates. . .If only I could have gotten over myself. . .Just sucked it up and repressed my fear.
That was how I spent the past three months.
Miserable.
But. . .It was for the best.
---
The Thruple in the apartment next door were shouting at each other again, Waking me from my. . .Fairly eerie dreams. . .
Groggily, I climbed off of the rather thread bare mattress that I slept on. . .On the floor.
'''What were you thinking!? Were you even thinking?? You could have gotten hurt!'''
I had been dreaming more about the forest lately.
Or well. . .A semblance of the forest.
'''Don't talk to me like that! You have no right to scold me. You made it more than clear enough long ago that I didn't matter to you!'' '
The forest had been steadily changing with each day I was gone.
At this rate, It looked nothing like it once had.
'''You're still upset about that!? That was months ago! I'm trying to show I care for you now!'''
There were no other trees in the forest anymore, Just dark, Endless shadows that surrounded the small grouping of four that I always came across.
Said four trees were further away from each other. . .Two were looking better. . .But the Willow and the tree that had always been growing close to it were looking a bit worse for wear. . .A lot worse for wear in the willow's case.
'''Forest. Andrew. Both of you sit down and shut the hell up. You two are bickering like a group of spoiled high school brats. No. Don't you start Andrew. The two of you need to stay apart and stay quiet until you calm the hell down and can talk with each other like grownups. Understood? No. Either say yes. Or no.'''
Popping a packet of instant oatmeal into a mug with some hot water, I went about getting dressed and ready for work.
The trees weren't the only different thing in the 'dream forest'.
'''Forest. . .'''
I sat down against one of the walls in my apartment while I quickly ate what I could of my bland and tasteless breakfast.
There was something new wandering the forest, I had only caught glimpses of it.
'''Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. . .I. . .Was just worried. . .And you weren't taking the severity of your actions, Well. . .Seriously. . .You could have been hurt'''
The new being had mismatched eyes like the original being, But it was different. . .It was off. . .
It's form was blurry but at the same time, Spiky, As if it were covered in thorns, I could understand the sentiment. . .I felt spiky too lately.
'''I was fine. . .I'm a fucking adult Andrew. . .I can make choices for myself'''
The being was almost fully devoid of color, Sulking on the outskirts of my vision, Like a monster in a nightmare.
I could feel it breathing down my neck every night.
'''I know you can! I know, I just. . .I just worry about you okay? Is that so hard to understand? I love you, You dumbass'''
Sighing, I stumbled to my feet and placed the half full mug of oatmeal down on the counter, Feeling sick to my stomach already.
It was hard for me to eat more than a few bites of food anymore before I'd start feeling sick.
Making my way to the only 'room' in my very very small apartment other than the main room/Kitchen area.
It was a small bathroom, Could barely fit the single person shower, Toilet and sink as well as a person.
But it worked. . .Sure the water was always cold.
At least it had water though.
It could be worse. . .
I'm fine. . .
This is fine.
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Aspen's still alive! And he's got a job!
Anyways! Like always, Have a good day/night and find a better book! - fallen