Summary: You wake up, on the bus, early in the morning, still confused about the kisses you shared with Ray last night, wondering where that leaves the two of you
Reader: should be gender neutral (no pronouns used)
Word count: 1 960
The sound of the tour bus motor being turned off was what woke you up. Sleepily you rubbed your eyes, turning to your other side to get a glance at the clock. Only a few minutes after five am. Certainly nobody was awake but the driver. Pulling the curtain in front of your tinted little window far enough to the side to get a glance outside, you saw you had stopped at a petrol station. Outside it was still dark, and only the lights that were illuminating the station were shining brightly.
You rubbed your eyes again, suddenly remembering the events of last night. A quiet giggle escaped your lips, and quickly you buried your face in the pillow, trying to hide it. You still could feel Ray's breath on your face, his hands gently holding your waist. You had never been so close to him, had never allowed yourself so much time to admire his eyes, the way they took you in.
It had been after the show, when everyone had wanted to go out for a late dinner. It was past midnight, and you declined their invitation, preferring to have quick dinner on the bus, and going to bed instead of hanging out in a diner. Ray had agreed with you, and together you had made sandwiches, which you had eaten side by side, sitting on the sofa in the bus.
How it had happened in the end, who had leaned in first, who had initiated the first of so many kisses last night, you did not remember. But you did remember the way your heart had soared, how butterflies had erupted in your stomach, had made you dizzy with euphoria. How long had you liked Ray? Too long, far too long. And suddenly kissing him had been better than anything you could ever have imagined. He had been so gentle, firm but so gentle when he had kissed you. His lips had tasted sweeter than you thought a kiss could taste, and his hands, rough from playing guitar all day, had carefully held you in place, brushing over your cheeks and jaw, down your neck. Sometimes he had even slipped his fingertips underneath your shirt, caressing the skin on your waist, as if testing your reaction.
But what kind of reaction had he expected? You had dreamt of him for years, so if anything his touch was barely enough. Then again, even the touch you got already sent your heart into a frenzy, being more than you knew how to deal with, so you were secretly glad he did not try to initiate more, because that surely would have been too much for your still somewhat confused mind.
Instead you had focused on what you got, Ray kissing you, his hands carefully running up and down your sides, as if you were made of the thinnest glass. It might sound like a cliché, but you had lost all sense of time. Although 'lost' was perhaps the wrong word. You had let go of all sense of time, happy to just drift along, while Ray and you had kissed, ignoring the world around you, ignoring that you were still on a tour bus, and your friends could come back any moment, and that you were band mates who probably should not kiss, especially not like that. But everyone deserved a few moments of utter peace in their life, didn't they? And this was one of yours.
You only had gotten interrupted, when the loud voices of the others had neared the bus, and jumping apart, it had taken only a quick glance between Ray and you to agree that it might be best not to be found like this, so you had slipped into the bunk bed area. The last glance you had taken at Ray was still burnt into your memory: His hair dishevelled, cheeks pink. He had smiled at you like he always did, in a way you previously thought you had only imagined, but now could see clearly: his eyes were so soft, so caring, and almost you would have gone back over to him, buried your hands in his hair and kissed him again, just for looking at you like that. But then the door to the bus had jumped open, and you had quickly retreated to your bunk.
Now, the morning after this – could this qualify as a make-out session? – you could feel doubts rising in your stomach. What had it meant to him? You knew to you it had meant the world, and if he only wanted you, you were all his. After all, you had kind of dreamt of that for years, and had always had to come up with stupid excuses why you never wanted to try dating people. The honest answer would have been because none of these people was Ray, but you could hardly be honest about it, so you had always said you wanted to put the band first.
So... did Ray know how you felt? If so, what did he think about it? Would he be creeped out by it? If it had been Gerard, or Mikey yesterday, you could have easily written off the make-out session as some post-show-high that did not mean anything. But Ray was different. He usually did not initiate such intimacy unless he was emotionally involved; at least this was what you had heard from Gerard when you had talked about relationships a while back. And those kisses had been anything but pure adrenaline high. They had been sensitive, emotional, almost... loving.
So did that mean Ray had some sort of interest in you? He had kissed you like he had waited years to do it, but that had been yesterday. What about today? Was he still interested? And how were you supposed to find out? Should you just walk up to him and ask 'Hey Ray, about last night: what did that mean to you? Are we a thing now?' Yeah. Probably not how this was gonna play out.
Feeling sick from the insecurity that had settled in your stomach, you crawled out of your bed. The bunk area was only sparsely lit, to keep it dark and still allow enough light to not stumble around blindly. Walking past the bunk beds with their closed curtains, you headed towards the tiny kitchen, making sure to close the door behind yourself so your early morning endeavours to the fridge would not disturb anyone.
You expected to find the kitchen deserted, but to your surprise you seemed not to be the only one who had been woken up by the stop at the petrol station. Ray lifted his head, his eyes wide first, before he recognised you. A soft smile tucked at his lips and he got up from where he had crouched in front of the fridge. He held two tetra-packs of chocolate milk in his hands, placing them on the counter before he closed the door to the fridge.
"Good morning," he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear.
"Morning," you replied equally quiet, suddenly not sure where to look or what to say.
You were about to ask if you could have one of the chocolate-milks, just to break the awkward silence, when Ray walked over the few steps that separated you, and placed his hands on your waist, pulling you close.
"I missed you," he mumbled, making you want to laugh.
It had been not even three hours since you had been kissing on that sofa behind you, and sure, you sort of had missed him too, but it felt incredibly strange to hear him say it out loud.
Before you had the chance to say something, his lips were on yours, kissing you just as gently as a few hours ago. It made your heart almost stop, immediately erasing the insecurity that had plagued you enough to get out of bed.
When he pulled away a few minutes later, he looked down on you, almost as if he expected you to be mad at him.
"I hope that was okay," he asked, as if you had not wrapped your arms around him, just to be closer to him.
"'course it was," you smiled up at him, making him blush a little.
In that moment the motor of the bus awoke to new life, and quickly grabbing onto the nearest counter, you waited until the bus had pulled out of the parking lot, and back onto the highway.
"I suppose I can have one of these," you asked, still facing the counter, and pointing at one of the chocolate milks.
You felt Ray come up behind you, his hands back at your waist, as he hummed in affirmation. Reaching out to grab a milk box, you were about to turn around to face him, when suddenly hot breath fanned over the side of your neck, and a moment later his lips pressed to the delicate skin right beneath your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as you closed your eyes. The contrast of Ray's soft lips to his scratchy stubble was dizzying, making your head swim as you hummed quietly in approval. You could feel him smile against your skin, before he continued placing short sweet kisses against your neck; his hands warm and safe on your waist as you leant back slightly, feeling the muscular plain of his chest against your back.
Just as you were certain his kisses would cause you to lose your mind, another thought, one that had caused your stomach to churn badly earlier, pushed into your mind.
"Ray?"
He hummed against your neck, making no attempt at pulling away.
Now that you knew you had his attention, you did not know how to phrase your concern. Eventually you settled with a deep sigh and the question "Is this going to continue?"
You could feel Ray stop in the motion, before he pulled away. Slowly you turned around in his arms, looking up at him shyly.
"What do you mean," he asked, furrowed eyebrows.
"The kisses and the-" fireworks in my stomach. Will you continue kissing me, as if it isn't the most heart wrenching thing? Are you really interested in me like that? "I don't know, just... you know."
Ray blinked, and concerned you watched his features harden.
"If you want to stop-"
"No! I don't, that's the point!" Immediately the wall he had begun pulling up between the two of you crumbled down again, and he relaxed as you continued. "I don't want to stop. I was just wondering if you did. And what that means for us and how it's going to continue..."
Expectantly you looked up at Ray, who gently cupped your chin with one of his hands.
"I've liked you for a pretty long time," he confessed, "and kissing you is honestly one of the best things in the world I can think of, so if you're asking me if I want to continue this, if it were up to me, then yes, absolutely. No doubts and no conditions. I don't care if it's official or unofficial, if we tell people or not, I don't care. Not as long as I can be with you."
His words made your heart race, and quickly you leant up to press your lips against his again, making him smile.
"I take it this means you feel the same," he asked between kisses.
"Yes, one hundred percent."
Ray grinned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you to pull you as tight against him as he could, making you giggle as you kissed him back. The chocolate milk on the counter behind you was, at least for now, completely forgotten.