A L E X
"Soleil Marie Jones and Apollo Navel Jones" I smile.
"We are not giving him the middle name Navel" Ivy yells at me.
"I don't think apple would want his middle name to be Marie" I hold him in my arms.
We can't decide on Apollo, Artemis, or Atlas for our baby but I just call him apple for a nickname. It's because his head was all mushy and he looked like one when he came out.
I liked the greek names and Ivy liked them too but we just can't decide on what.
I did cry for a good hour or five which wasn't my fault. I'm just so proud of her. Yeah, she screamed and cried but she still pushed two humans out of her vagina.
"I like Atlas" She shrugs.
"What about Kahlil Atlas Jones" I offer.
"Where'd you get Kahlil from?" She furrows her brows.
"You put it on the list, it fits" I shrug and she squints.
"Kinda yeah" She shrugs.
Between sleeping and eating that's all Ivy has been doing the past two days at the hospital and I'm not mad about it she deserves to rest.
On the third day, we leave and I continue to urge Ivy to stay in bed all day and just let me cater to her. We're not home but Massachusetts will have to do.
"Alex, can you hand me Soleil's blanket please?" She asks while breastfeeding her.
I give it to her while coming to sit on the bed. She's seemingly in a great mood and that's a first.
She's been not necessarily sad but not happy either, yeah the first couple of hours she was smiling but I honestly don't even think that she's slept for longer than 3 hours daily and she barely likes to get out of bed to eat unless it's to take care of the twins.
I'm obviously worried but I do know what postpartum depression is, I read about it but I'm not sure if that's what it is or if she's just not feeling well physically.
Maybe it can be baby blues because it seems a little early and I don't think it's that severe yet.
"How are you feeling mama" That's been my new nickname for her ever since she's had the babies.
"Fine" She mumbles while rubbing her finger over Soleils hair.
"She has your eyes" Ivy looks up at me.
"I know, my hazel eyes are just so mesmerizing" I smile at her and she laughs slightly.
"Are you gonna play tomorrow?" She asks while getting ready to let Soleil sleep again.
"No, why would I?" I cross my arms.
"Well, you could if you want to. I understand how important football is to you and I wouldn't wan-" But I cut her off with a kiss on her lips.
"Nothing is more important than my family Ivy" She stares at me for a couple of seconds before her lips curl up into a smile.
"You think we're a family?" She furrows her brows trying to conceal
"Yeah Iv, me, you, Soleil, Kalil, Kimani, Sasha, and Bella. We're a big family and you're my amazing beautiful hot and sexy wife" I kiss her lips again.
"Stop it you're gonna make me wanna get on my knees and suck your dick" She jokes.
"If you're offering I won't say no" I play along but she just pushes me away.
"So are you gonna tell me how you've actually been feeling or are you gonna keep lying and saying fine?" I chose to ask since she looks like she's feeling better.
"Well I'm actually f-" but she's cut off by noise coming from downstairs.
We, of course, put Soleil back in her crib and follow it from curiosity and when we make it downstairs we're met with Ivy's mom and Iris.
"Sorry we didn't want to scare you" Her mom closes the door and brings in her several bags.
"I knew you didn't want people around the babies when they were first born so me and Iris waited for a little and we bought some baby stuff" Her mom drops the bags.
"Thank you with Bella and the other two we were running out" Ivy widens her eyes before hugging both her mom and sister.
"How are you feeling, I know childbirth isn't easy" Her mom grabs the bags beginning to unbox them.
"Fine" Ivy mumbles turning away and opening the fridge but then she closes it back not bothering to take anything out.
"That's great, I was gonna bring Iyanna but she wanted to stay with Andrew" That's a good thing then, that means that Drew and Iyanna are getting along better. I can bet that Drew is excited about being a dad.
"Oh that's fine, I still don't want so many people around them anyways so it was probably for the best" Ivy shrugs while sitting in the kitchen
"We bought you some banana pudding, and Jerk chicken" Iris starts to pull out food.
"It's fine I'm not hungry" Ivy looks away from the food and she just rests her hands on her eyes.
Iris looks at her for a second before turning away, that look of concern is evident.
"Okay well, It'll be in the fridge if you need it. I got food because I figured Iris would be hungry after her meet" Her mom smiles but Ivy just furrows her brows.
"I was really surprised with how sharp
she was especially considering-" But Ivy cuts her off.
"You're competing again?" She crosses her arms.
"No, I just wanted to get back in the gym just to get back in shape" Iris brushes it off subtly but Ivy just looks upset, almost offended.
"Well she looked reallll good, It was just like old t-" But Ivy stands up in the middle of Malia's sentence.
"I'm gonna go check on the twins" She turns away and heads up the stairs. This is why I'm so convinced that she isn't fine. Someone who's fine won't just storm away mid-conversation.
Soon after Ivy leaves Iris follows behind her and Malia looks at me.
"What? What's happening?" She looks genuinely confused but when we both hear muffled commotion her and I both rush upstairs.
I V Y
I missed Iris a lot but I didn't miss this. I didn't miss feeling like the odd one out.
Ivy gets an honorary award and is also the first black woman to do so and I don't even get a congratulations text but Iris decides she doesn't want to be lazy and she decides to get in the gym and now it's all wow she's so amazing.
I'm jealous, if that's not already obvious. I'm very fucking jealous. But then again it's not even jealousy. It's frustration.
I missed Iris so much but when she was gone I felt mentally free. I felt like I didn't have to try as hard. I was acknowledged. I felt wanted.
Before she passed I think I was so used to it not being noticed I didn't mind it. However, once I started to feel the attention I didn't want it to stop.
All the partying and guys, all the slutting around and overworking myself to achieve flips.
It was all for the sole feeling of acknowledgment. I wanted to be noticed that's all I ever wanted and I finally got that.
Then she came back. The girl who I've missed most came back into my life but I've been trying to decide if it was for better or for worse.
I missed my sister so much but god life was so much easier when she wasn't here.
Before I can even make it to my room Iris is calling my name.
"What Iris?" I turn to her.
"I've had a baby too, I understand the feeling but don't try to ignore how you're feeling. You can talk to any of us anytime you want and we'll listen. You have to take care of yourself Ivy don't push everyone away and do it alone" I would cry and I would get emotional but that's, not the case, I'm actually kind of frustrated.
"I'm fine" I'm not fine. I don't feel fine. I don't feel happy. I don't even know how I feel. I can't even begin to describe what's going through my brain because I don't know myself.
"Ivy don't lie to me. We're sisters we used to tell each other everything. You were my best friend" She crosses her arms.
"Best friends don't let each other sit in the corner" I mumble and she squints.
"Ivy what ar-" I can't even let her finish a sentence.
"Every day of my life I watched you get all the acknowledgment in the world. You watched me sit there day after day busting my ass just to get ignored and never acknowledged. On my own sweet sixteen, you didn't even say hey let's stop talking about me and acknowledge Ivy, the birthday girl." I laugh psychotically but Iris just frowns.
"Or when I won homecoming queen, You know I used to blame my parents for it but you never did anything to stop it. You never tried to take the attention off of you. You just ate it all up" I hate how late I'm realizing all of this.
"Iv-" She starts but I cut her off.
"No, I just gave birth to twins but you know, you getting in the gym and rolling around on the floor is a bigger accomplishment. I bet you wish dad was still here so he could give you all the approval you so desperately need" I know it's harsh, I understand. However, sometimes I just lash out irrationally.
"Ivy when we were younger it was different. You never seemed to care about being noticed. That's what made us, us. You didn't care for being acknowledged you didn't need all the attention and-" But I stop her there.
"And you took advantage of that" I raise my brows and she slightly frowns.
"Iris for the past couple of months I've been trying to adapt to this but I just can't. It feels like I'm being stuffed back into that same corner and I can't deal with that again Iris." I pull the sleeves from my hoodie over my hands.
"I'm sorry Ivy. I'll do better. I don't know what you want me to do. But just tell me and I'll do it. I'm trying, I really am" She looks at me teary-eyed.
"I just want some space for now" Space from everyone, I just want to be alone.
"Okay, just call me or text me when you're ready" She gives me a slight smile but I can't even force one out so I just turn away and head to the bathroom.
Normally a habit of mine is grabbing blankets and falling asleep in the tub because it's comfortable so that's exactly what I do.
Locking myself in the bathroom with pillows and blankets and laying in the tub.
Attempting to sleep since I barely can but soon my eyes finally close.
I think I sleep for maybe five minutes but by the time I open my eyes Alex is sitting on a chair just staring at me.
"What the fuck is your problem? Why do you always watch me sleep" I groan.
"Well you tried to lock yourself in the bathroom after kicking out your family so I was a little worried" He shrugs.
"Can you get out?" I mumble and he doesn't budge.
"You keep pushing me away but I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for life and the babies just make it official so you either tell me what's going on or I'll just stick around until you do" He shrugs carelessly. I know I owe him an explanation and I'm going to give him one when I figure out what's going on myself.
"Alex I'll explain I promise you I will but I just don't want to talk right now. I just wanna be alone" I take my face out of the pillow and look at him.
"I understand. Can I at least sleep with you, you know I sleep better with you next to me" He stands up stretching a little.
"Of course, come here" I move over in the bathtub urging him to join me.
"I don't get why you do this. You made me get a bigger bath just so you can sleep in it and I don't get the hype" He talks while getting in.
"You'll see" I smile while he lays his head on my chest.
"Does that hurt?" He asks referring to his head on my boobs.
"No, but I might leak milk onto you," I tell him while running my nails through his hair.
"You should let me suck on your boobs and see what all the hype is about because our babies love it for some reason" He shrugs innocently.
"No, because you're gonna do that thing with your tongue and make me all horny and I can't do anything about it so stop touching me and sleep" I grab his hand that was inching for my boobs.
"Whatever you want" He whispers while wrapping his arms around me. As much as a tough guy Alex likes to pretend he is, deep down he loves being spooned. I can't count the number of times I've cuddled him.
A/N: I updated Sasha and Ki's sequel with two new chapters so go read that too!