I V Y
Ingrid goes to the same high school that I went to and in no way was that high school organized.
Meaning that she was supposed to graduate the week after I do but now she's graduating this Friday.
It's been a week since the carnival and now Alex and I are home packing up some stuff to take on our trip there.
It's only Thursday afternoon and I shouldn't pack because I have stuff at home but I'm not staying at my house.
I'm staying at a hotel with Alex because if I have to be in that neighborhood for a day I at least want to be in a nice place.
Kimani and Sasha begged to go but I didn't want to make it more awkward than it is. Especially after the Funeral.
THREE WEEKS AGO.
I V Y
"Come on Ivy, you have to come" My mom begs through the phone.
"He didn't even really love me, why do I have to show up to his funeral" I'm annoyed, the man is dead.
"Yes he did Ivy, he was a slime bucket but he did love you" Slime bucket is right.
"He only loved me when I was being like Iris but now he's dead like her" I mumble and then the line goes silent.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it like that" Yes I did.
"It's fine, we're all grieving" I'm not.
"I don't get why you're sad, he cheated on you with a white 23-year-old bimbo and he was thirty years older than her" I would have been dancing on his grave and let the woman he cheated with plan it.
"Listen, the whole town is coming because although your father wasn't a good dad he was known to be a great man and people are coming out and I want you to speak" Oh so she wants me to kiss ass and keep the theory going of him being a good man.
I get ready to argue but then I remember that Ingrid saw his dead body and I still don't know how she's doing, I haven't seen her and I do need to be there for her.
"Okay" That's all I can say.
Then I chose to spend that entire night writing out a big speech about how amazing he was.
"Ivy I don't get why you're lying" Sasha speaks up from the backseat.
Kimani, Alex, Sasha, and I are on our way to the funeral which is being held on a big grassy field. I don't get why so many people are coming out for him.
"Because Ingrid lost her dad and I don't want her only memories to be me trashing him at his funeral and I also just want to show up for her but I can't show up without speaking since I am his oldest daughter" It's a lame excuse I know but I need to make sure my baby sister is okay. Even though she's turning 18 and isn't a baby anymore.
Alex isn't saying anything though, he's just driving.
Once we get there we're at a large area buy before the funeral they're of course conversing and eating which is so backwards but I think it's just snacks and not actual dinner.
The funeral starts at 6 pm and it's only 5:30 so that's surprising that so many black people are here early.
I've seen like thirty casseroles in the kitchen of this place and it's probably from the white women.
I'm just walking around the place trying to see who's here but instead, I'm handed a glass of wine by a server.
This is fancy, who paid for this because I know it wasn't my mom?
A L E X
I lost Ivy around ten minutes ago, I just couldn't keep up with her.
So I let her go off but maybe that wasn't so smart because the funeral is starting in five minutes.
"You found her yet?" Sasha asks while walking past me.
"No maybe she's outside or s-" But I'm cut off by Kimani.
"In here" She shouts from my kitchen and Sasha and I both follow her.
I don't know what I was expecting, maybe Ivy cooking something, or her standing on the table spitting in the casserole but instead, she's just sitting on the counter next to her two wine glasses and four margarita glasses.
"Ivy" I walk up to her grabbing the yellowish drink out of her hand.
"Are you kidding me" I furrow my brows.
"What" She puts her hands up like she's innocent.
"Ivy the funeral starts in five minutes and here you are drunk off your ass with your dress riding up your legs and seven different margarita cups" I point to them but she just keeps the rising smile on her face.
"I'm not drunk off my ass Alex and I had one glass of wine and three margaritas not including the one you just grabbed from me" This is why she needs a babysitter.
"How was it? I wanted to try one but they kinda looked like pee so" Kimani starts rambling.
"Really good, it was actually so sweet, I need to ask the guy for the recipe" Are they serious right now?
"There will be no recipes" I look between them and Ivy rolls her eyes.
"Boooo, I'm not even drunk yet, you're just lame as fuck" She sticks her tongue out at me.
"Then stand up from the table" She just smiles at me like she's proving me wrong but once she goes to stand up her legs don't agree with it so she slips slightly.
"God Iv" I get on my knees with Sasha as we both put her arm around us helping her stand back up.
"Let's just take her back to the hotel" Sasha offers but just then a woman comes in.
"Oh, Ivy great! I was looking for you, come on the funeral is starting" The woman smiles waiting for us to exit out and now we know that we're fucked.
"Hopefully it'll just wear off by the time she has to speak" Sasha adds.
"No she's not speaking anymore, she can barely even think thoughts" I furrow my brows but Kimani is behind catching up with us while carrying three water bottles in her hand.
When we get to the grass the four of us are sitting up front and Ingrid and her mom are on the other side.
The service goes on for around two hours and by then I'm really hoping Ivy will be fine.
She's drunken like four bottles of water so maybe it's diluted.
"We'll now be hearing from some people who have offered to speak up about Darnell Davis" The pastor speaks up.
Isaiah stands up first and he gives a short and simple speech about how great his dad was.
It's all lies though.
Next are Darnell's brothers, his mom, and dad, his sisters, and then it's Ingrid.
They all have good things to say about him but my stomach drops realizing who's next.
"Now Darnell's second oldest daughter Ivanna Davis will be speaking" The pastor adds and everyone claps.
"You don't have to go up there if you don't feel good" I whisper while squeezing her hand.
"I'm fine" She stands up, letting go of my hand and walking to the podium.
I mean she looks fine to me.
"Hi- um, I'm Ivy, I'm my dad's second oldest daughter. His first daughter is- I mean was Iriseanne, better known as Iris because she absolutely hated the name Iriseanne, I mean what the hell is an Iriseanne" Her voice is shaky probably trying to hide the slurring.
I actually didn't know that Iris's full name was Iriseanne, maybe that's because she changed it.
Who the hell names their kid Iriseanne?
"I'm here to speak about my dad, and he was a great man, super fun and what not" She's starting to slur it up a little now while she looks down at the paper she wrote.
"He always was so passionate about his kids and supported whatever they did, he pushed them hard to achieve their dreams"
"She doesn't even sound like she's believing what she's saying" Kimani whispers to me.
"He was especially passionate about sports, I mean he loved basketball but wouldn't stop eating so he couldn't play anymore. Nobody wants a fat man on their team" She's officially slurring her words and I think it's evident that she's drunk. Even the room slightly gasps.
"He forced sports on everyone, I mean Isaiah didn't want to be the stereotypical black basketball player who loves drugs, money, and big booty bitches just because he was tall. I mean that's how my dad was, he loved big booty bitches that's how he met my momma" She smiles pointing to her mom but I'm too scared to even look at her mom's face.
"Isaiah wanted to be a doctor and that's what he's becoming, a doctor but my dad hated that" Yeah this is not going to end well.
"Iris though, he lucked out with her, she was so talented and great at everything, especially sports, then there was me, just as talented but you know he didn't care about me" She's laughing and Kimani is just biting her thumb.
"He didn't pay me any attention until my overachiever sister died. Then he tried to kill me just like he killed her with his crazy diets. I couldn't even eat regular red meat because it would make me gain faster, practice what you preach dad." She looks at the open casket while smiling.
"I was surprised when I found out it was open, nobody wants to see a dead obese man, it isn't funeral appropriate" She shrugs while going back to her original idea but everyone is just gasping.
"He was a piece of shit father to me. I mean he may have been a good brother, husband, son, and dad to everyone else but he treated me like absolute dumpster shit. Like I belonged at the bottom of his shoe. I couldn't do a fucking back tuck and it's automatically because I'm fat, has he looked in the mirror? It's like the pot calling the kettle black, or like the call is coming from inside the house" I kinda want to get up and stop her from speaking.
"He didn't care about my feelings or my health, I was neglected constantly and I'm not gonna sit up here and lie to you people-" She's slurring again.
"Alex I don't think we should stop her, she's being honest" Sasha adds. I do and don't. I don't want her to make a fool of herself but she does need to get it out, just maybe not here.
"I was just his fat overweight wanna be Iris backup and I'm not fat he was just projecting onto me. I'm not standing up here to bash my father over and over again. I'm here to share how I feel. I was asked to speak up about him and y'all are better than me because I couldn't even believe my own words. Talking about some he was a good dad. Fuck that. God, sometimes I'm just so happy he's gone. It's like a burden off my back."
"I know my mom feels the same way, especially after he cheated on her with Ms. Jillian. I know you're sitting somewhere in here and I'm sorry to put you on the spot. Next time don't leave your earrings in between my mom's pillows. It's disrespectful to fuck on someone else's bed" She's definitely losing it.
"He's with his star daughter now. If he even went to heaven. Probably not because he's so fucking f-" But mid-sentence she stops taking a deep breath and there it is.
She turns around and starts throwing up, thank god it's behind the podium so nobody can really see but everyone hears the gagging.
That's when the three of us come in.
I'm rushing up to her and helping her up while Sasha and Kimani are taking over.
"What Ivy meant to say was her dad and her didn't have the best relationship but we're all hoping he's having a restful passing" Kimani tries to be nice about it.
Once I finally get Ivy to stand up straight I'm wrapping my arm around her so she can stay straight.
We walk past her family and they're all looking at her with that look that nobody likes to see.
"I'm sorry Ingrid," She says in barely a whisper.
I take her to a bathroom where she could finish throwing up while I hold her hair back.
I haven't had a so drunk that you're vomiting on your hands and knees moment with Ivy in a while.
When she finally stops I realize that she's sobbing again.
"Ivy why are you crying?" I clearly know why.
"Are you upset?" Why would I be upset? If anything I'm proud of her.
"Far from upset, I'm happy you got everything off your chest, I just wish you'd done it maybe a little less crazy" I grab some toilet paper and wipe her mouth.
"Okay" She just cries harder and I'm lost as to why she's still bawling.
"Ingrid is going to be mad at me, so is Isaiah and my grandparents, and mom, and my aunts and cousins. I mean they always treated me with the most love they ever could have and they didn't deserve that" She's panicking now, like completely.
"I should of just read off the fucking paper like a-" But she just starts frantically crying.
"Ivy what can I do? I hate seeing you like this" I rub her head and pull her into me but I just feel her rapid heartbeat and shaky hands.
"Um, get the pills out my bag please" She breaths heavily.
I look through her purse and there's two; Xanax and Benzos.
"Why do you have Xans and Benzos in your purse?" I ask before giving them to her.
"It's Alprazolam and Clonazepam and it's prescribed" She grabs them from my hand.
"That's just fancy words for Xanax and Benzos, Ivy you know those are addictive" I'm so confused.
"I've been taking them for years" I feel like I learn someone new every day.
"Why?"
"I have really bad anxiety, almost like an anxiety disorder but it isn't that bad, and when Iris died I would always have really bad anxiety attacks and panic attacks and I guess my teachers were worried so they referred me to a therapist and then I got those. I never really needed them though because it got better over time" That explains.
"Ivy" Her sister starts knocking on the door and she just bites her lip.
I stand up instead and slightly open the door.
"Sasha and Kimani took over for her and made a rap about my dad. Can I speak to her?" I mean Ingrid looks fine to me.
I let her into the bathroom and she sits across from Ivy who's looking at her awkwardly.
"At your huge ass age, why are you crying?" Ivy just laughs.
"I thought you were gonna be upset and I'm not even 22 yet" Ivy rolls her eyes at her.
"You just had the guts to say what me and Isaiah couldn't. I just did it for mom. She's going through it. I don't miss that man, trust me" Ingrid assures her.
"Now get up and give me a hug you cry baby, and stop drinking so much it's not healthy for you" Ingrid is the artsy sister. She doesn't cry or show any emotion but she loves to paint so she puts it all into her work.
I should hook her up with Andrew and Jasmine.
A/N: that funeral was the tea, honey.