Thisbwas another request for SkiidaSpeeder
Angst bits of fluff
Mainly shipped with Ni-Ki
⚠️fat shaming, mention of cutting⚠️
Feel free to skip this oneshot if you're triggered by the mention cutting and cuts
Enjoy
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"The music video is out now." Jake said putting his phone to the side. Sunoo said nothing he was looking at the mirror in the hall. It wasn't a pleasant sight to see for himself.
He went back into the living room and sat on the couch next to Jungwon. Jungwon thought nothing of it but Sunoo was comparing himself to Jungwon. After all, Jay said many times that Jungwon was the skinniest member.
His thighs were thicker then Jungwon's. His hands were chubbier then Jungwon's and Jungwon's hips were smaller. Sunoo was cursed with wider hips and he hated them.
Ni-Ki always said he loved his hips but Sunoo didn't believe him. He scooted over to Sunghoon to compare himself to Sunghoon. Sunghoon's fingers were thin and long compared to Sunoo's. Sunghoon's thighs were thinner then Sunoo's. Sunghoon also had wider hips then most of the others but still managed to look so much skinnier then Sunoo.
He looked over to Jay who was standing. Talking to Jake. His eyes went to Jay's waist. Everyone knew Jay had an extremely slim waist. Sunoo stood up and walked past the mirror again. Compared to Jay his waist it looked bad, too wide. Sunoo felt sad.
He looked at Jake. Jake had big hand but small wrists. Sunghoon said he could hold Jake's wrist by only touching his thumb to his index finger. So Sunoo tried it. His tumb couldn't even reach his index finger, not even close. Defeated he walked away.
He saw Heeseung sleeping on his bed. He looked peaceful. Heeseung had an incredibly thin face. A beautiful sight. Sunoo looked at the mirror in Heeseung's room. His cheecks were extremely chubby. It hurt, why did he not look good?
As he entered his bedroom he saw Ni-Ki laying on his bed, also asleep. Ni-Ki was perfect in so many ways. His face slim, wrists thin, waist small, hips not too wide and thighs perfect.
"Can i lend your charger? I can't find mine and it's at 4%." "Sure." As Jake took it Sunoo felt even worse. The thing had had been most proud of was also ugly. His lips. Jake's lips were perfect, oh how jelous he was. As he realized he compared himself to Jake twice he felt even worse. He just wasn't pretty enough.
They did a vlive to celebrate for the comeback. Just chatting and laughing together, it felt nice. But Sunoo's mood was ruined.
'Sunoo oppa you should lose weight.'
'Sunoo oppa you should try to be as pretty as the other.'
'Sunoo looks so chubby next to the other ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ'
'Sunoo should just leave, he's disturbing the groups image.'
The others did seem to notice the comments so he kept it to himself. Forcing laughter and crying on the inside. Why was he not good enough? Would he ever be?
The next day after performing blessed cursed on stage they returned to the dorm. Sunoo waited till everyone showered and went last. His eyes fell on Sunghoon's pocket knife. 'Perfect' he thought to himself as he took it.
After showering he used the sound of the shower to make himself less suspicious. He made cuts on everything he didn't like. As he was about to cut his wrist he heared a knock. "Sunoo~" it was Ni-Ki. After living together for a while the members showered together sometimes and walked in on each other with no shame.
"Don't come in!" Sunoo searched for his clothes but realized he forgot them. The door opened and Ni-ki had a playful smirk. His smirk dropped seeing blood dripping from Sunoo's hips. It was the first thing he noticed. Then he saw his thighs, his waist, his lip and his cheeks. "S-Sunoo!" Sunoo dropped the pocket knife. "I-i can explain!"
"Explain what?" Jake peeked from behind Ni-Ki. "Sunoo!" Without thinking twice Jake grabbed Sunoo's wrist. He pulled him out of the bathroom and now the others saw it too.
He was extremely embarrassed because he still wasn't wearing anything. He had his eyes closed as tears slipped through. But as he heared a sob he realized he wasn't the only one crying. "Go change, we'll talk about it after." Jay said.
Sunoo put on underwear and an over sized shirt. The underwear made the wound on his hips. It was quite deep after all. As he walked into the living room Jungwon hugged him.
"Why Sunoo..." Ni-Ki drew his fingers over Sunoo's curves. It stung slightly but he said nothing. "We care about you Sunoo...we want to know why." Sunoo hung his head. "You'll get mad at me..." Heeseung took Sunoo's hands.
"Sunoo." Heeseung had tears in his eyes. "We won't get angry. But we are concerned. Look at your hands." Sunoo looked at it. It hurt seeing them broken and bleeding but he spoke out his mind. "They're not good enough."
"Pardon?" Ni-ki gave a bit of an angry glare. "I told you! You would get mad at me!" "What do you mean it's not good enough?" Heeseung asked, worry clearly in his voice. "It's not good enough."
Sunoo hissed as tears dripped down into the cuts on his cheek. "My thighs are not as thin as Jungwon's, my hands are not as small and pretty like Sunghoon's, my waist isn't like Jay's, my face isn't as slim as Heeseung's, my lips aren't as pretty as Jake's, my wrist isn't as thin as Jake's, I'm nowhere close to how pretty Ni-Ki is and my hips are too big. I'm not pretty enough."
"Sunoo. Look at me." Slowly Sunoo looked into Heeseung's eyes. "Why do you think that? Did someone tell you you're fat?" He nodded. "Who?!" Ni-Ki seemed pissed. "ENGENE." "WHAT?!" They all yelled. Sunoo covered his ears. "This is not oke!"
Jay grabbed his phone and walked away. He was on the phone with someone and he screamed at the person. "Sunoo, look at me." Ni-Ki said. Jungwon smiled knowing what Ni-Ki was going to do.
"Your thighs might not be as thin as Jungwon's but they are perfect. Your hand might not be as slim and pretty ad Sunghoon's but they are perfect, i love to hold them. Your waist might not be as slim as Jay's but it's perfect, i love your curves. Your face might not be as slim as Heeseung's but i love your chubby cheeks, they make you so cute. Your lips mighy not look as plump as Jake's but i know it's a lie."
Ni-Ki carefully kissed Sunoo. The older felt butterflies in his stomach. Your wristd might not be as thin as Jake's but they're perfect, i can fit my hands around them perfectly. You are prettier then me. And never even think of saying your hips are not good enough, they are perfect. You are perfect. From the outside to the inside."
Sunoo was blushing as Ni-Ki fixed his hair. "And it isn't fair comparing yourself to someone right? Everyone has their traits. Like your eyes. They are so shiny you can see yourself in them perfectly. I don't have that." Heeseung said.
"Your bubbliness. At the end of the day i can't even force a smile but you can." Jake added. "How positive you are. No matter what you keep it positive at the points i would have given up already." Jungwon said with a smile.
"Your style. You look good in whatever you wear. You can wear a skirt and look good in it. I definitely can't do that" Sunghoon said. "Your voice. It's sweet like honey. My voice doesn't compare." Jay added before going back to his call.
"Everything about you Sunoo. You are beautiful. Not just in my eyes." Sunoo melted into Ni-Ki's arms, soothed by the youngers deep voice. "You better." Jay said before hanging up. "The company said they will take legal action against the people making the rude comments. We might as well speak out too."
And they did. All the members posted something on both Twitter and Instagram. Posting their own personal messages.
We appreciate ENGENES but bullying Sunoo will not be tolerated.- Heeseung
Leaving mean comments towards someone could take lives. Think before you post. If we catch you leaving more mean comments towards Sunoo we'll take legal action.- Jay
Words can hurt, stop leaving mean comments towards Sunoo. We will take legal action against you if you do.- Jake
Cyber bullying hurts people, stop or face the consequences.- Sunghoon
We will take legal action against the people leaving mean comments towards Sunoo.- Jungwon
Think twice before posting something. Mean comments towards Sunoo are not tolerated and we will make sure you'll regret it for the rest of your life.- Ni-Ki
The next day as Jake walked into the living room he saw Ni-Ki on the couch half asleep with Sunoo sleeping on his shoulder. He smiled to himself. Not everyone might stop leaving comments but atleast Sunoo knew that he was loved
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Sometimes i wonder if people think I'm insane for writing so many oneshots like this. But writing is my way of venting because i can't talk about it well.
Next up: It's not fair