Summary: Roman is absolutely petrified of coming out to his father as gay, but luckily his father seems willing to listen and learn and actually figures out something about himself on the way.
TW - Fear of coming out, but both parents are accepting. Also repressed bisexuality and divorce (but not due to sexuality).
Words: 1582
Roman wasn't usually nervous when he went to visit his father. He had been a child of split custody ever since he could remember, and when he started middle school his mom trusted him to take a different bus after school on Fridays that lead him to his father's apartment uptown. There was never a bad bone between Roman's parents - they were just high school sweethearts that somehow fell out of love. But they still appreciated the enthusiastic life they created together fifteen years ago.
Well, at least Roman's mom still loved her son. Last Wednesday Roman came out to her as gay, over dinner, and he got plenty of hugs and congratulations for finding himself. The only annoying thing was his mom asked if there was a boy in the picture - but it was an improvement from the constant 'when will you get a girlfriend?' she used to do.
Roman's father might be a different story though. He was always talking about success, meeting the demands of today's capitalistic society without sacrificing mental health. He lived a fast-paced life as an accountant and didn't have time to even think about romance. He didn't even have time to 'think about those issues' when Roman had inquired his father's view of LGBTQ+ rights before.
"I'm sure Logan will be fine kiddo." Roman's mom chirped when the teen was panicking that Friday morning about what he was about to do. She was helping him brush his hair like she used to do when Roman was a young child, it always calmed him. "Don't come out if you don't feel comfortable, but honestly... I think your father might understand more than you think he does."
Before Roman could ask what his mother meant by that, the school bus arrived to get Roman to school. He hugged his mother goodbye and ran off, knowing he'd see her again after school on Monday and he'd definitely be safe then.
Roman rang the bell for his father's apartment just to check whether or not his father was home. He was, a muffled 'hello' came through the speaker. Roman was very close to losing his voice out of nerves so he just went: "Hey Dad, it's me."
The beep indicated permission had been granted for Roman to enter, he took the lift to the second to top floor, the set of hugely expensive apartments that his father usually lived alone in. Roman welcomed himself in with the spare key, placing his backpack down and looking around. His father wasn't in the living room. "You haven't got a girl round have you?"
A laugh came from the kitchen, the second place Roman would expect his father to be. "I thought you'd know the answer to that by now." The businessman laughed. Roman laughed too when he saw his father - with his face stuffed with Crofters' jam and a few jars falling out of a shopping bag. "Have one, how's school been this week?" Roman was thrown a strawberry jam jar, which he almost didn't catch, and sat at a nearby barstool. Now was discovering how to make small talk without revealing anything major.
"Alright... I got a B+ on that science quiz I did last week." Roman tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, and Logan seemed to be falling for it as he was just nodding and inhaling jam. "I've gotta work on math homework this weekend, do you understand algebra?" Logan nodded again with a smirk... But then his eyebrows furrowed curiously.
"What about socially? How's school been socially this week?" Roman often talked to his dad about arguments with his friends if they ever disturbed him, since he was a lot calmer and easier to vent to. That was probably what Logan thought was wrong - he was going to have a big surprise.
Roman crossed an arm over his chest, stuffing as much jam as he could in a few minutes of silence. He should just get it over with now, his mom was happy to have him this weekend if Logan abandoned his only child or something. But she was sure that wouldn't happen - and she knew Logan better than anyone. "Dad... I'm gay."
Roman's vision was clouded by tears in his eyes. He looked up, and he could only just make out his father's still body taking time to process things. He then heard the clank of jars and then the scrape of a neighbouring barstool. Then he felt a hand on each shoulder trying to ground him. "Roman... Look at me please." That soft tone reminded Roman of when he was a little child and the split custody was so new. Logan was always a calming father figure.
When Roman looked up his eyes were wiped by his father's blue handkerchief. "I don't care who you want to fuck or if you want to fuck anyone at all. It's the least of my priority, you're my child." Roman could let a small laugh go at that as he sniffled, his father hardly swore so when he did it sounded quite funny. "And I hate if the thought of um... telling me - made you scared at all. If there's anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable I'd happily do it. You know I'm a little behind the times."
"Thanks Dad." After a few minutes of silence Roman's tears stopped flowing, and he started eating the jam again. Logan stood and let Roman take control of what meals he wanted this coming weekend.
The father and son eventually decided to cook some pasta together while filling their stomachs with Crofters jam. As they were serving their meals a question finally came out of Logan's lips (he was expecting the questions to come sooner with Logan's curiosity). "So... How did you know? Is there... someone around that helped you out?"
"No, no." The reaction to having no crushes at the time of figuring out his sexuality was better with Logan, he just nodded while Roman's mom just raised an eyebrow and carried on talking. The two person family sat at a dining room table as Roman wondered how to explain this thing he just figured out. "I just... prefer the look of the male-assigned body. Like the flat chest, and the stubble, and the v shape around the hips - it looks a lot better than the female body."
"Isn't that just jealousy? I had that all the time when dating your mother, as a teen you always compare yourself to other boys." This was the most attacking tone Roman had heard so far from his father... hopefully it was just a mistake.
"It's more than that Dad, I actually want to have sex with them." Logan just watched his son with a confused look, meaning he hadn't quite understood yet. "And I want to do romantic things too, like kiss and go on dates, and I think I'd enjoy doing that with a boy rather than a girl."
Logan mumbled an understanding and swirled his pasta with his fork, looking down at his food with his eyebrows furrowed. "What's... wrong Dad?" It was obvious that Logan wasn't angry at anything his son was saying - his face just showed a look of confusion and maybe even fear. Why was his father scared at hearing how his son felt about the same gender?
"Doesn't everyone want to kiss both men and women?"
The father's voice was quiet and meek, as if scared of crossing this boundary where he could discuss his romantic feelings with someone who could somewhat understand. And that person was his own son. "I... um, I kissed men in college. And I liked it - what does that mean?" Logan attended college during the divorce proceedings, so he was newly single and it seemed as though he was taking advantage of that at the time without a second thought. Now the thoughts were scaring him.
"Well, it means you're probably somewhat attracted to men. So you may be biromantic, or panromantic, or just bi-curious." Logan's eyes widened as it seemed his life flashed in front of his eyes, he quickly looked down and wiped his eyes with a napkin. "I still view you as my Dad whether you kiss men or women or both, you know? I look up to you."
Logan smiled again hearing that, and he took a deep breath. "I always thought you needed a typical-straight father figure in order to be successful. But now I'm looking at you and..." Logan's eyes were already starting to fill with tears. "I know you're successful anyway."
Roman attached himself to his father in a hug, laughing and letting his father cry as much as he needed to. The teen assured his Dad that he was accepted whoever he dated, and Logan could finally talk about all his romantic experiences and how he felt about them. Roman's mom knew about all these thoughts. It was just Roman that was kept in the dark until now.
But safe to say Roman was never kept in the dark from that point onwards. It took a year of discovery but soon Roman came to Logan's house one day to find out a boyfriend had visited - and that boyfriend eventually became a fiancé and then an official stepfather. And Logan looked so happy to finally be discovering himself and falling in love all over again in his mid-to-late-thirties.