Because this would be a hard moment in Carter's life and I like to explore those moments and cause you emotional distress with them.
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Carter gripped the edge of her PE locker, wanting to slam it closed over and over again.
"It's so cute, every time we're in science he's always trying to sneak glances of me. But when I look back he looks away."
Didn't this girl get it? Hope was stupid. Hope was vengeful. It played with emotions, bringing them to the highest point only to send them crashing down. How could she not see that having hope was the most dangerous thing a person could do?
"He still hasn't made a move though."
"Ask him out. Go for it."
"Should I?"
No! Carter slowly closed her locker because if she didn't do it that way she'd slam it.
"Don't do it," she said.
The girls behind her stopped talking.
"What did you say, Owens?"
Carter turned around to find the girls already regarding her with judgmental looks. Looks that Carter had gotten used to over the last year. But still, she couldn't let this girl make a move that would end up humiliating her.
"Don't ask him out, Amber," she said. "He's not looking at you, he's always looking at Kira. You just sit right in his sightline. I know because I sit behind him."
And she'd noticed how Amber glanced back and Levi always looked uncomfortable when she did. This girl hoped in the wrong thing.
Amber crossed her arms and jutted out her hip. "Owens, you're wrong. You know how I know? Because no one has ever wanted you."
Carter curled her fists, the words hitting a place in her heart already torn to shreds. Amber smirked and turned away.
Shaking with fury, Carter yanked her bag off the ground and stormed out of the locker room. The bell was a minute away from ringing, ending the day. She wished the day would be over completely. It was one day...but it wasn't. It was the... It was one stupid day!
Mason walked out of the boys' bathroom and right into Carter's path.
"Owens, you look poetically like a thunder cloud today. Is it a special occasion?"
"Mason, shut up!" she shouted. "For once in your life can you not be self-centered!"
Mason took a step back, shocked.
"Woah, where is this coming from?" he asked.
"What? You think it's odd that someone would want you to stop talking? Clearly, you misread every interaction you have."
Frowning, Mason studied her. "What's going on, Owens?"
"Why does anything have to be going on for me to not want to talk to you? Seriously! You constantly get on my nerves and I'm sick of it!"
"Then you are free to leave. It's not like I enjoy talking to you."
"Great!"
Carter took off, pushing hard against the school front doors as the bell rang. Behind her, the hallways flooded with students and she quickened her step. She needed to get out of there. Despite the cold, Carter didn't go to the Metro. She couldn't stand being packed with other people.
By the time she made it to Maggie's, her face was freezing and her nose was bright red. Maggie hurried out from behind the counter when she saw Carter.
"Hon," she said. "Are you okay? Did you walk all the way here?"
"Yeah."
"Carter, it's freezing, you could get sick. Are you okay?" she asked tenderly.
"I'm fine, okay! You don't have to worry about me."
"Of course I do," Maggie said with a smile. "I care about you."
She reached out to Carter but Carter jerked back.
"Well don't, okay! I'm fine! I don't need a mom. I'm fine without one! So back off!"
"Carter-"
Carter raced out of the deli and sprinted across the street. In the apartment, she kicked the door closed and stood just inside. She was everywhere. She was everywhere even when she hadn't been there for a year.
Tearing off her bag, Carter flung it at the couch. She moved to the closest wall and yanked the first picture frame off the wall. One of all three of them smiling.
A happy family.
A lie.
Photo after photo, she removed them all. Even the ones of only her and Captain. They were always laughing or smiling. That was no longer them. She stuffed the frames in the back of a closet and went to the couch. She ripped the decorative pillows off and jammed them on top of the frames and slammed the door closed.
It wasn't enough.
Carter went to her room, grabbed her boxing gloves. She hit play on the only band she listened to anymore, 7 Ships. The only band she felt she could listen to and not want to throw up over its sweetness.
She jerked on her boxing gloves and savagely punched the bag. She didn't think about technique, stance, or follow-through. All she thought about was hitting and kicking the bag with every ounce of strength she had.
When her wrists ached, her knuckles throbbed, she yelled.
"Why didn't you come back! Why did you leave me! What...what did I do!"
Over and over again she attacked the punching bag hating that it didn't break or crack like she was.
"Why didn't you call!"
The apartment door opened but Carter didn't care. It wasn't her so what did it matter. She stopped punching and simply slammed the sides of both her fists into the bag.
"Carter."
Carter didn't stop. She wanted the bag to do something other than swing slightly.
"Carter."
A pair of strong hands took hold of her arms and she struggled against them.
"No!" she yelled.
She kicked at the bag. Before she could do it a second time, her father turned her around. She fought him, trying to break out of his hold. He didn't let her go.
Finally, she lost her fight and crumpled. But her father held her up, pulling her into a hug. She clung to him.
He was the only certainty she knew.
"Please, please don't leave," she cried. "Don't leave me."
Her father kissed the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere, Sarge. I'm not going anywhere."
*****
Carter didn't look in the mirror. She didn't want to see how awful she looked. What did it matter anyway? Everyone at school already dismissed her, today would be no different.
When she left her room, she found Captain sitting at the kitchen table, two smoothies before him. Carter took a seat and sipped the power shake.
"How are you doing?" Captain asked.
Carter shrugged. She felt exhausted even though she'd fallen asleep early last night. It was the type of exhaustion that didn't go away with a good night's rest.
"I yelled at Maggie yesterday," she said, turning her cup in a slow circle and not looking at Captain.
"I know. She called me."
Carter swallowed hard. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"
Captain leaned forward and Carter finally looked at him. "She already has. She understood what yesterday was. She said she'll have a cookie waiting for you after school."
Tears formed in the back of Carter's eyes and she blinked hard.
"Okay."
"Are you ready to head out?"
She nodded and finished off the last of her smoothie. With a quick brush of her teeth, she snatched up her bag and walked back into the living room. Captain stood looking at the empty wall. Carter didn't look at it.
"I can put them back," she said.
He looked at her. "Only if you want to. I did like the one of you with your face smeared with ice cream."
That one had only the two of them in it. It was from when Carter was three-years-old and her father looked so young at twenty-four. She might be okay with that one going back up.
When they pulled up in front of her school, Carter reached for her door handle.
"Maggie said this was for lunch," Captain said, giving her a brown paper bag.
Carter took it then slid off her seat.
"Sarge."
She turned back, seeing the caring blue eyes that were always there for her.
"I love you, Sarge."
"I love you, Captain."
She held onto the door frame, not wanting to let go or leave him. Captain looked at her intently.
"Sarge, do you want to know something?" he asked.
She nodded.
"No matter what happens, I will always find you. That's a promise."
The words comforted Carter and she let go of the door. At the top of the stairs, she watched his car disappear. The noise of the school washed over Carter as she headed to her locker. She opened it and set the brown bag inside but paused. Opening it, she saw the sandwich with a bag of chips. Tucked beside them was a folded piece of paper.
All I ever want to be to you is your friend if you'll let me. I hope you have a good day. Love Maggie.
Instead of putting the note back, Carter folded it up and slipped it into her pocket. She wanted to have it close.
"Owens...uh...are you okay?" Mason asked.
Carter remained focused on her locker. "Mason, I heard the boys' bathroom got a new full-length mirror installed, isn't your reflection missing you?"
Mason sagged against the lockers. "Good, you're normal again. You scared me yesterday with all the shouting. Nothing was witty." He cocked his head. "You're time of the month?"
Carter closed her locker door and stared at Mason.
"Mason, only you would think that just because a girl yelled at you means she's on her period. I have no doubt countless girls want to yell at you on a daily basis."
"A lot of girls yell at me, but it's because they are behind a line of Secret Service agents and trying to get my attention."
"It amazes me how you can take the scream of protesters and completely reframe it in your mind." She slow clapped. "Well done, Mr. President."
The bell rang and Mason grinned as he took a step back from Carter.
"I'm glad you're no longer broken, Owens. You had me worried."
"Only one of us is damaged and it's not me."
"You keep telling yourself that, Owens. But face it, we're both messed up."
He walked away with that parting shot. He was right but Carter knew one thing: she still had Captain and that's what mattered.
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How's it hanging koala! 🦥
(Okay that's not a koala but it was hanging so I used it)
Now as you walk into this author's note feel free to hang your thoughts on the coat rack of comments 💬🗯💭
Not going to lie sometimes I don't even understand what comes out of my thumbs...since you know I'm typing this...
Wow! Just everything I'm saying is coming out all weird and 🤪
What's new there though.
I actually don't have a lot to say other than Captain is father goals! Maggie has a heart of gold! And Mason is simply gold!
I love how he was cautious to talk to her after she yelled at him but then immediately relaxed when she made fun of him. 😂 They really do have the oddest relationship ever.
But one I will keep writing because I absolutely love it!
Vote, comment, follow because after all we did get Mason and Carter in the same chapter, that's got to be worth a little something!
Cute animal!
This is such a random thing but I finally found someone who comes close to looking like Carter with her interesting skin tone and eye color combination.