"Do we really have to wear these ugly sweaters?" Haley asked
"Yeah, if i keep scratching i'll take off all my skin, and how do I stop scratching?" Sophie said
"It's just until Grandma can see them" Claire said
"My neck hole is too small" Luke said
"Mine's itchy" Alex said
"You know what?I'd rather be itchy than choky"
"Oh yeah?I'd prefer to be a little choky than have itchy everywhere" Alex said
"I agree" Sophie said
"I don't think so" Luke said
"Com on Phil,hurry up"
"Okay,here we go. Connecting"
"Come in in Florida,Mom?Dad?"
"Hello,Philip!" Frank said
"Merry Christmas eve!" All the Dunphys said
"Merry Christmas eve!" Frank said
"A little lower Dad"
"Merry Christmas eve" Frank said again putting down the camera
"Thank you,thank you for the sweaters" Claire said
"Oh,you're welcome,you look beautiful in them darling"
"Where's Mom?"
"Mom's sinking fast,she's in the bathtub,get it?"
"They have that claw foot"
"Honey come on!" Frank yelled
"Hey Pops,here's the tree,there's the ornament you sent us,right here,right here. There are the stockings hung,by the chimney by Claire".
"Ah still funny son"
"What the hell is that!" Claire yelled
"It seems like a cigarette burn.Was one of you smoking cigarette?Wich one of you was smoking?!"
"Not me!" The kids said
"Not me,I have a respiratory problem" Phil said
"Obliviously it wasn't you. Now I have a family of liars and smokers"
"Honey,you got to see this" Frank yelled
"Haley,keep that ugly sweater on" Claire told Haley since she was trying to take it off
"Anyway,merry Christmas,Dad" Pghil said then they hung up the video call
Phil and Claire were standing in front of the TV, Luke, Sophie, Alex and Haley were on the sofa
"This is unacceptable,and I want to know who did this" Claire told them
"Nobody,huh? I guess the couch did it to itself.It came home after a tough day,lit up a cigarette and then burnt itself. Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense"
"If whoever's responsible doesn't come forward,we'll punish all four of you" Claire said
"What?That's not fair!".
"I can forgive the smoking,but I can't forgive the lie"
"Phil"
"Or the smoking. No one wants to confess huh?No? That's fine,because you know what happens next? We cancel Christmas"
"That's not fair! Okay Dad,sure"
"Okay,guess where I'm headed".
"To take down the tree. Right,this is your last chance"
"Come on guys,whoever it is,just take responsibility. Don't put the rest of us through this" Claire told her kids
"This is really it. Here we go. Three...,two...,one...Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley,I guess you are not getting that car" Phil said
"I was getting a car?"
"No,I was lying,because that's what we do now, Dunphys are liars"
Phil took the Christmas tree
Later
Haley,Luke,Grace and Alex were talking about Christmas
"I can't believe it's all gone, Dad never follow through" Haley said
"Are you sure one of your friends didn't burn the couch?" Alex asked
"Hey,don't look at me,I'm not the one that know how it is a cigarette burn"
Everyone looked at Sophie
"Hey, It's not me,and let's think about it,only one of us was ever caught playing with matches" Sophie said looking at Luke
"That was a year ago, admit you did it" Luke told her
"You did it,just admit it" Sophie said
"Yeah Luke, admit it" Haley said
"No,cause it's not my fault"
"Look,I have an idea. Do you remember the film "Spartacus"? Here's what we do,Luke you tell Mom and Dad that it's your fault" Alex started explaining her plan
"I didn't do it"
"It doesn't matter,because after you confess Haley,Grace and I will each confess to the same thing"
"How does that do anything?" Haley asked
"They'll be so touched that we're protecting each other that they'll have to bring back Christmas!" Sophie explained
Later
"How does it work again?" Luke asked and Alex explained the plan to him again
"Mom, Dad?"
"What can we do for you?"
"I did it,I was playing with matches. I'm sorry"
"You did the right thing by confessing, but this is bad buddy. I mean, really bad, okay? Claire, you want to handle this?"
"Luke, why didn't you say something?"
"I don't know"
"Okay, well, your father and I are extremely disappointed in you. Go up to your room! Go on. We'll be up to talk to you in a minute"
"Sophie?Haley?Alex?" Luke wishpered
"What?"
"Say something"
"About what?" Haley asked
"I take it back"
"What is going on?"
"They were gonna say they did it, too, and you were gonna be proud of us"
"What?Why would we do that?" Sophie asked acting stupid
"Don't know what to believe with him" Alex said
"Liars! I didn't do it!"
"Well, it wasn't me"
"Don't look at me"
"Me neither"
"Seriously?" Claire asked as Phil came in with the tree
"Wait. Nobody did it again? No, that's fine,guess what? Christmas is still canceled,that's fine by me. I'll start working on next year. Hey, and memo to New Year's eve and Easter"
Later
Alex,Haley, Sophie and Luke were still talking
"You know what I'll take the blame" Alex said
"What?" Haley asked
"Somebody have to"
"You can't" Sophie said
"Why not?"
"Cause I did it" Sophie said
"What?!" They all yelled
"I have some friends that smoke, and I just wanted to try it,so I did when nobody was home,but I burned the couch"
"Really?"
"Yes"
Interview
"No,obliviously I didn't smoke and neither I have friends that smoke,but I don't want anymore for Luke, Haley or Alex to take the blame.I mean,come on I can be grounded for some day"
End Interview
Sophie went downstairs to Phil and Claire
"Mom,Dad"
"Yes?"
"I did it"
"What?!"
"I have some friends that smoke, and I just wanted to try it,so I did but,I burned the couch"
"Sophie,oh my god. We're very disappointed" Claire told her
"I'm sorry Mom,I'm sorry Dad. I can be grounded but please don't take the Christmas away from the others"
"That is very noble of you to care about the family, but you still smoked and lied,that's really bad. Now help me grab the tree" Phil said
"Sophie" Claire called her
"Yeah?"
"Starting December 26th, you are grounded for a full week, and that includes New Year's eve"
"Fine"
"Everybody! It's official! Christmas is back on!" Phil yelled as Luke, Haley and Alex ran downstairs
"Oh my God,yay!"
"It is? What happened?"
"Doesn't matter! Stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath! Go, go, go!"
The day after, everybody was opening their gifts
"Another one for Luke. Looks like a book"
"I have a book already"
"You can have more than 1 book Luke" Sophie told him
Then there was more smoke come out of the couch
"What is that? Oh, my gosh the couch is smoking" Claire raised her voice
"It's the ornament! Whoa! It's burning in the same hole that Sophie was smoking in" Haley said
"Sophie, why did you take the blame?" Phil asked
"I just didn't want for everybody to lose Christmas"
Then everyone was mad at Phil for almost taking away Christmas
"I'm sorry guys. People make mistakes, that's why I'll own it up to you by taking you guys to...Italy!"
"Yessss!"