Modern Family:The life in a crazy family

Mother Tucker

"So the rate of diffusion equals something...times the square root of... something...I give up" Haley told her tutor, David

"Aw, so close" Sophie joked

"Shut up"

"Hey, don't worry. You'll get it. You know, a lot of famous scientists are women" David told Haley

"They're fat, though, right?"Haley asked, making Sophie roll her eyes playfully

"Come on, Alex. It's time for your cello lesson" Claire called

"How's the tutoring going?"

"Are you familiar with the term "throwing good money after bad"?" Alex said

"you familiar with the term "Dunphy, party of one"?Because you will be" Haley told her

"Girls"

"Haley's coming along really well, Mrs. Dunphy" David said

"Good. Good. Well, the key is to take a lot of little breaks so you don't get frustrated and want to quit"

"Got it" Haley said

"I was talking to David. Come on, Alex"

Outside

"I'm just saying...she's never gonna get a job, and how do we know the right middle-easterns businessmen wouldn't treat her great?" Alex told her mother

"I left my shopping list inside. For the record, we thought she could live with you"

"Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live"

Claire entered the kitchen and saw Haley and David kissing sitting on the couch

"Oh. Haley!"

"What?We only do this when I get one right" Haley told her

"They do that all the time, it's making me nauseous" Sophie said passing past her

Later

"So, dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls?What do the smart girls get?" Alex asked

"Cats mostly" Phil told her

"So, Haley, how long have I been paying that guy to make out with you?" Claire asked

"Uh, about a week.First it was just to shut him up, but now I'm starting to like him"

"If you really like him, though, you have to break up with Dylan" Claire told her

"What? No!" Phil said

"Jeez Dad, is Haley or you who have to break up with him?" Sophie asked

"Believe me...And it's best for everybody if you just do it quickly" Claire said

"I can't believe we're having this conversation. He's like part of the family" Phil said

"Trust me... it's the right thing to do. Just end it"

"Okay, but be gentle. Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age" Phil told Haley

"Water-polo- girl story" Claire, Sophie and Haley said

"Yes, I'm gonna tell the water-polo-girl story, 'cause it hurt!"

"Okay, so I'm working in the principal's office.She walks in, hair all silver from the chlorine... tells me she wants her varsity jacket back. I tear up a little, then I tear up a lot.I'm begging, I'm begging...At some point I realize I'm sitting on the button to the high-school intercom system" Phil said while Haley, Sophie and Claire tried not to laugh