Modern Family:The life in a crazy family

Door to Door

 In the car

"So then what happened?" Alex asked

"She didn't show up to school the next day and I heard she slept over on his dorm" Haley told her sisters

"No way!" Sophie said shocked

"Mhmm"

"Seriously, are you surprised, did you not know Carly? Have you seen what she wears at school?" Haley told them

"Girls let's cool it on the gossip, ok? It's not right and Carly's got enough problems" Claire said

"What do you mean?" Sophie asked her curious

"Well, her mom can't get through soccer practice Without a thermos of chardonnay...And don't get me started on the dad. That guy is--Oh! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!" All four of them yelled when Claire braked

"Mom!" The girls yelled

"Oh! This is such a dangerous intersection!" Claire said

"Did I get lipstick on my face?" Haley asked whit lipstick over her face

"No, you're fine" Sophie lied to her, still trying to realize

"And consider yourself lucky You didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom"

"They need to get a stop sign" Claire said

"What is your obsession with traffic?" Haley asked her

"It's an obsession with safety. One of these days, Joe Speeder's gonna come tearing through here, and somebody's gonna-- Aah!" Claire yelled when she braked again when she almost hit Phil who was walking

"Aah!"

"Aah! Oh!" They yelled again

"I'm okay" Phil said

"Oh! Oh, my god!"

"I'm okay. Oh, hey, guys" He greeted them getting up from the road

"Phil?" Claire asked realising it's her husband

"Yeah. No, I'm good. Gotta keep moving. Keep the heart rate up" He said and started walking again

"Oh. Okay"

"How's my face?" Haley asked again even with more lipstick on the face than before

"Still good" Sophie told her

"Okay. Good"

Later

"We're home!" Sophie called referring to her, Alex and Haley 

"Us, too" Phil said referring to him and Luke

"Oh, great. You're all here" Claire said

"What's up, girl?" Phil asked

"Oh. You know that really dangerous intersection?" Claire asked

"Where desire meets jealousy, and the result is murder?" Phil asked her

"Mnh-mnh. The one where I almost killed you this morning"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. That was my bad. I got lost in my jams. Dangerous combo-- speed walking and speedwagon. Oh. I wasn't even trying for that"

"Nice. Well, I am getting us a stop sign. I called City Hall, and how is this for amazing? The traffic committee meets tonight. I've got goosebumps. I know, right? All I have to do is get 50 signatures, show up, make my case. It's on" Claire told her family

"I am so proud of you. We all are" Phil said

"Mm"

Interview

"We love when mom gets on a project because usually the minute any of us walks in the door, she gives us something to do" Sophie said looking at the camera

"Take the garbage out."

"Do your homework."

"Clean your room."

""Put on pants." Like the queen's coming over. Am I right?" Luke said

"So when she's not around or gets busy, Luke and I capitalize on the situation" Phil said

End Interview

"Well, I think it's awesome" Phil told his wife

"I am so glad because I could really use your help getting these signatures" Claire said

"I'll do it, soon as I change those lightbulbs you wanted" Phil said

"Great. Kids?"

"Crud. You know, I've got a ton of homework" Alex said

"Uh, science project" Luke said

"Sophie? Haley?"

"We need to get started on our college essay" Sophie said and Haley nodded

"You know what? Maybe we'll write it about you" Sophie said looking at Haley for a little help

"Yeah. You're just so inspirational. Girl power! You rock" Haley said

"Thanks, sweeties. I do rock"

Later

"Oh. Those stupid neighbors!" Claire groaned entering the kitchen

"What's wrong?" Phil asked

"I can't ask for a simple signature, but it's fine for them to build a house that looks like the Beverly Hillbillies just moved in. Did you do any better?"

"We came close a few times, but you're not talking about the basketball, are you?"

"Phil, tell me you got some signatures"

"I have to be at City Hall in, like, two hours"

"Oh, god. Haley, how about you?"

"I've been busy with my college essay" Haley said looking up from her magazine

"Really? Where is it?"

"It's in a rough, rough draft right now. I've been thinking that maybe that I should--Sophie's been texting that boy from the ranch all the time!"

"Why, thank you Haley" Sophie told her turning of her phone

"Is that true?" Claire asked

"What? No! I've been working on my essay"

"And where is yours?"

"It's uh-Alex has been skyping with her boyfriend since you left!"

"That's so not true!" Alex yelled

"Thank you. Really, thank all of you so much for your help"

"Sometimes those things need to warm up, like the car" Phil said

"Phil, don't even. I have been out there, trying to do something good for our community, because let me tell you, change doesn't just happen. It is forged by empowered women like me and Norma Rae and the lady from "The Blind Side."

"Do you know what the difference is between me and her? Blind side's family had her back" Claire said and then left

"Okay. Huddle up, everybody. Your mother's right. She's the quarterback of this family, and we need to protect her like blind side did" Phil said

"She just said the mom was blind side"

"Well, she's confused. Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Sorry. African-american kid"

Later, they interrupted Claire while she was talking with the traffic committee

 "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom! Oh, my god" They called

"What are you doing here? Girls"

"We--we went door to door and we got you 20 more signatures" Sophie said still trying to catch her breath

"That is so sweet of you"

"Well, you were freaking out at us, so..." Haley started saying

"Okay, you know, let's not ruin it. All right, 54 signatures" Claire said showing them at the committee

"Okay"

"So what do you say?"

"Let's start saving lives one intersection at a time"

"Okay, thank you very much"

"We will, uh, take these under advisement. Just leave 'em here, and thank you--"

"Wait a minute. I know what that means" Phil said

"Oh, here we go"

"That's Washington-speak for "Get lost."

"Well, um, wow, Phil. What are you doing here?" Claire asked

"I'm your husband. I'm blindsiding you"

"Uh..."

"Your honor, permission to approach" Phil said

"Oh, God" Sophie sighed

"Not a judge. I'll allow it"

"I'll get straight to the point because this is important, and that appears to be an ice cream cake" Phil said pointing to the cake on the table

W"ell, it's not!"

"Okay. I present to you "Stop in the name of life." Kick it" Phil told Luke and then a footage started

The footage

"Clive Bixby. Can I meet you at Harry's bar in two minutes?" 

"Baby, I can do anything in two minutes" Phil said talking to the phonne

"Ooh. Oh. I'll just speed through the intersection of Greenleaf and Bristol. It's easy 'cause there's no stop sign"

"I love being a kid. I have my whole life ahead of me" Luke said while walking

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

End of the footage

"Okay. Well... Powerful. And unconventional, but I believe it makes our point. So what do you say?" Phil asked 

"Well, the kid was all right. I didn't care for you so much. But if I were to give a stop sign to everybody who wanted a stop sign...Mm-hmm. This city would grind to a halt"

"I understand, sir, but--" Claire tried to speak

"Thank you, ma'am. Thank you. Thank you"

"Allow me. Allow me. Ladies and gentlemen, I've lived with this woman for 20 years" Phil spoke again

"Mm-hmm"

"If she wants a stop sign...There's gonna be a stop sign"

"Mm-hmm. He's right"

"Listen to the man"

"Yeah"

"Still--no good?"

"No bueno?"