Modern Family:The life in a crazy family

Slow Down Your Neighbors

"What are you gonna do when he drives by?" Sophie asked Claire

"I'm gonna tell him to slow down"

"I think you should drag him out of his car, and we all get turns punching him in the stomach until he barfs" Luke told Claire

"Honey, I think I'm just gonna turn over his license plate to the police"

"Please.Order a pizza and call the cops. We'll see who gets here first" Luke said

"He's not wrong" Sophie said

"What are you guys doing?" Phil asked

"What the cops won't" Sophie said in a joking tone

"We are catching that speeder, and when we do, he's gonna get an earful of this. Slow down, jerk!" Claire said

"Oh! Okay! Easy" Phil told his wife

"Oh, my God. Mom, what are you doing? Why are you being such a freak?!" Haley asked

"I am being a freak for safety. And I'm doing this for you, because I don't want anything bad to happen to you"

"Well, it's embarrassing. Mom, you need a life. Why can't you just volunteer at the museum or bring pudding to old people?"

"Honey, if anybody's being embarrassing right now, it's you"

"Luke, I am your father! That takes me back to the delivery room. That's what I said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts" Phil said

"Oh, my God. I know those girls" Haley said

"What? Are you ashamed of us?" Claire asked

"Yes!" 

"And not only her" Sophie said

"Ooh. Sweet Valley High!This is that woman from the house on seventh street!" Phil said

"Oh, good!" Claire told him

"Yeah, if I sell it by the end of next month, I dethrone Gil Thorpe as salesman of the quarter" 

"Ahh. That's awesome, dad" Luke said

"It is awesome. Phil Dunphy"

"That's the speeder! That's the speeder!" Claire yelled

"Yep" Sophie said

"Slow down, jerk! Slow down! Yeah. No. Yeah, that's great. Okay, fire away.2-U-R-N-8-0-1. Yeah. Oh, uh, just the address. Yep. Okay. 1-0...8-0-1.2-U-R-N.1... North... Seventh...8-0-1.2..." Claire said

"I gave it to dad" Luke said

"U-r...Oh, God. Okay. 10-4"

Later

"Phil, honey, I need your help" Claire said entering the living room

"With what?"

"What is the one thing a speeder can't outrun?"

"Ooh. Bullets. A laser.Oh, I know... a falcon!"

"Dad, jump in" Luke said

"Not a good time. A laser falcon. That's awesome"

"Slow down your neighbors!"?" Sophie read from Claire's sign

"No. "Slow down"...Talking to the speeder... who's talking to the speeder? Your neighbors" Claire explained

"It doesn't say that" Sophie said

"Yeah, it just says "slow down your neighbors!" Haley said