Happy New Years!
Unedited
"Bye Hobi!" Jimin plants a big kiss on to Hoseok's lips, pulling back and grinning."Have a safe trip!"
Hoseok embraces him tightly, tickling his sides. The boy giggles and squirms in his arms. "I'll miss you so much, Minnie!"
"Call me when you land, okay?"
And then Jimin departs from the house . Hoseok doesn't have to leave for the airport until later but Jimin had classes he had to attend and wouldn't get to say goodbye. In the past, when Hoseok went on business trips, Jimin was always emotional. However, this time he's not. But someone else is.
Hoseok locks the front door and plops down on the living room couch. He had already packed his bag two nights before so he's just relaxing until he has to deal with the stress of making his flight. He had talked to everyone, especially the littles who exclaimed that they'd miss him the most and even Namjoon who he still was getting to know. The only person he hadn't really talked to was Yoongi.
After he found out about Hoseok's trip, he isolated himself as much as he could. And when Yoongi had to eat or use the bathroom, he ignored him. Hoseok gave him his space but he refuses to leave without saying something to him. He know the hybrid is prone just mad and emotional about the suddenness of the trip but he didn't want to leave him alone. Seokjin would come over after an hour of Hoseok being gone so that Yoongi isn't alone.
Hoseok walked into Yoongi's room to see the boy underneath his blankets. At first he thought he was asleep and was going to leave but he heard a quiet voice call out to him.
"Don't leave."
Hoseok steps back into the room and sits on Yoongi's bed. The hybrid slowly sits up and removes the blanket from over his head. His hair is ruffled and his face is tear streaked. Hoseok wants to hug him but he knows Yoongi is mad at him.
"Hey," he says softly to the boy who only glares at him.
Hoseok scoots a bit closer and Yoongi scoots away. The human sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I understand that you're upset, but I don't want to leave with us on bad terms."
"You could have fucking told me that you were leaving days ago but you waited until the last minute. You're a fucking asshole." Yoongi huffs out, looking away from Hoseok.
"If I knew you were going to react like this, I wouldn't have told you at all."
"So you'd just disappear and leave me to think you abandoned me?"
Hoseok rolls his eyes. "Yoongi, I know you're upset but-"
"I'm not upset, I'm mad."
"Can you tell me why, then?" Hoseok genuinely questions. He had a rough idea as to why Yoongi was upset but he wants to hear it from his own words.
Yoongi looks back up at Hoseok and the human is in awe at the way the hybrid's eyes slowly turn a bright yellow. He looks back down again and plays with his fingers before he starts sniffling. And Hoseok instinctively moves to comfort him and Yoongi allows it, hurriedly embracing him. He feels him shaking and his heart breaks while listening to the boy cry.
"Y-you're leaving me all by myself." He whimpers into the fabric of Hoseok's sweater. "I-I don't like being alone a-and you're making me be alone..."
Rubbing his back to comfort him, Hoseok shushes him quietly. He subconsciously begins to rock a bit. "No Yoongi, I'm not doing this on purpose. I know you don't like being alone so Seokjin and Jimin will be here with you too. You won't be alone."
The hybrid lets out a weak sound. God, Yoongi's is tired of being over emotional. But he can't help it. There is a fear deep insideof him that keeps controlling his mind and his heart. The fear of being alone and the fear of abandonment. As much as he tried to not be bothered by it, burrying these feelings only made them explode.
"I want you to s-stay, Hoseok." He cries, hiccuping. "Please stay."
Hoseok only tightens his grip on the smaller male, breath in his scent. He doesn't know how to tell Yoongi that he has to live independently at some point. Hoseok is not always going to be there for him, and maybe this was partly Hoseok's fault for babying him but Yoongi needs to learn to be independent. Hoseok cooks, cleans, gives him his medications, reminds him to eat, takes him to therapy, washes his clothes, basically cares for Yoongi completely. Yoongi barely knows how to wash dishes or work the washing machine. And Hoseok knows this is because of his past but the main goal is to help Yoongi develop, not for the boy to become dependent on him.
"I have to leave, sweetheart."
Yoongi sobs, the impact of it shaking his whole body. He is afraid. And the more he continues to breakdown, the more Hoseok grows concerned. He can't possibly be this attached to him, can he? There has to be something more to this but first he wants to focus on calming him down.
Hoseok pulls him into his lap and kisses his damp cheeks. Yoongi's lips tremble and his bright eyes practically glow in the dark room. The human leans in slowly towards the crying male's face and brushes his nose against his wet cheek. He nuzzles the side of his face and jaw, trying to comfort the hybrid in a way he'd understand. Yoongi responds by closing his eyes and nuzzling the human back.
Gradually, he begins to calm down. Enveloped in Hoseok's warmth, in his scent, and in his arms. He was still crying, still sniffling, but he was calming down. He hiccups occasionally and his tight grip on Hoseok's arms never falters. One hand held him tightly as if he'd disappear. The other was used so that Yoongi could suck his thumb. This is something he does subconsciously but it comforts him in an odd way.
"Baby, you know I'd never abandon you, right?" Hoseok quietly says after a while. He brushes a hand through the boy's hair.
Yoongi doesn't answer. He shifts a bit on Hoseok's lap and tucks his face into his neck. Here is where he feels the most safest. Where his mind can be at ease. With Hoseok, in Hoseok's arms. And part of Yoongi realizes that this is a scary feeling to have because this means he is attached to Hoseok. He's imprinted on him and it's a bad thing.
Hoseok pecks his hair and adjusts himself so that he can lay back down, Yoongi laying on top of him. "It'll only be for a little while." He whispers, rubbing the sniffling hybrid's back.
"And when I come back, we can spend a whole week together. Just me and you. Yoongi and Hoseok time." Hoseok smiles as Yoongi snuggles into his chest and he pulls the blanket up around them.
A week. Yoongi can do it. He doesn't know why he's feeling super clingy towards the human, at least more than usual, but he can survive a week. He has to. He has no choice. There's a throbbing ache in his chest but it'll go away. And when Hoseok returns, it'll just be him and Yoongi. Yoongi and Hoseok.
"Okay..." Yoongi mumbles. "B-but I might die..."
Hoseok raises an eyebrow, concerned. "Why? Is it because..."
"I-I'll die from missing you." Yoongi clarifies.
Hoseok stiffles out a chuckle, "you won't die baby."
The hybrid smiles, closing his eyes and pushing himself closer to the human, if possible. The feeling he gets around Hoseok can't be anything good but he likes to think that it is. In his mind, it's a good thing he's taken a liking to the male. Maybe Hoseok will like him back one day.
It's a dangerous feeling. He's never felt it before therefore he doesn't know how power it can be. Falling for someone like Hoseok isn't easy.
"Why do you call me baby so much?" He finds himself uttering out. His body is finally catching up to the panic attack he had and he's gradually growing tired. Hoseok rubs his back comfortingly.
"Because," his voice is quieter now. "You're my baby."
Yoongi's hand clenches the fabric of Hoseok's shirt. His heart beat now picks up again, but for a different reason. Sheepishly, he tries to hide further into his chest.
"Doesn't say stuff like that," he whines out.
"Why not? It's true."
Yoongi's face burns brighter. He's Hoseok's baby? And...he doesn't know why but the thought of that makes him a bit happy. Because if he's Hoseok's baby, then that implies that Hoseok may be possessive over him which also indicates that Hoseok might feel something for him. Maybe Yoongi is digging too deep into it, but that's what his brain jumped to.
"Let's nap." Hoseok then says after receiving no response. The hybrid was already ahead of him, feeling slumber roll over him. Their bodies mingled under the blanket, tangled and warm. It didn't bother Yoongi. He was able to forget his problems while in the embrace of Hoseok. He was able to let go and it allowed his body to rest, quickly checking out to slumber.
Their goodbye wasn't as teary and dramatic as earlier.
Of course, after he woke from their nap in which Hoseok was caught trying to sneak away, Hoseok got prepared to leave. They hugged and Yoongi purposely scented him (not that Hoseok minded.) And again, Yoongi attempted to get Hoseok to stay but that didn't work. To attempt to fix the huge, teary eyed pout on his face, Hoseok took off his hoodie and gave it to the hybrid.
Yoongi immediately put the fabric on, secretly marveling at how strong and potent Hoseok's scent was. He wanted to inhale the fabric but didn't want to seem weird in front of him. And then after a hesitant and tearful goodbye, Yoongi watched Hoseok get into Seokjin's car with his suitcase and leave to the airport.
So now, Yoongi sits on the couch, feeling empty. Sort of lost as well. It's a strange feeling and a wave of anxiety was mixed in as well. Seokjin, after coming back from dropping Hoseok off, was cooking in the kitchen. Yoongi considered asking him what this feeling was.
Of course, he knows he's upset at Hoseok for leaving. But this feeling itched at his skin. It made him antsy and on edge. Seokjin described this feeling as "separation anxiety."
"Because you rely on him so much, you've grown attachment to him." The older male explained while dishing out the meal he prepared. "It's not healthy."
Yoongi felt ashamed. He's pretty sure his therapist had said something similar. He's grown reliant on Hoseok. And from what Seokjin insists, it's not a good thing. And tes, he's aware its not a good thing but he's tried.
It's literally impossible for him to stay away from Hoseok. He's tried it before. Hoseok is just...so alluring. In the best and worst ways possible.
"I think I like him." Yoongi finds himself quietly admitting as he played with his food. Seokjin made a noise of surprise but Yoongi didn't bother looking up at him. But Yoongi knows he likes Hoseok. He's never been so attached to someone as he is with him.
"Are you sure?" Seokjin's voice sounds hesitant. Maybe a bit concerned.
And honestly, Yoongi is a bit unsure. He knows he likes him but...maybe it's not in a romantic way? The way Seokjin asked him made him think. But if he doesn't like Hoseok then what is this feeling?
Seokjin must've seen his dejected look because he's quick to explain his words. "You know hybrids imprint on people sometimes, right? Usually it's a trauma response and other times it's because of an unhealthy emotional attachment."
"No. I like him." Yooni felt the need to make that clear. He glances up at Seokjin who seems to be trying to read him. Judging him. Maybe it's because of his anxiety but Yoongi starts to feel threatened.
Seokjin must've been able to tell because he lowers his gaze to his own food. He speaks softly, aura coming off less tense. "I'm not invalidating your feelings for him, but I want you to be sure. Feelings can be confusing for hybrids due to their animalistic side."
"And how would you know?" Yoongi snaps, not exactly meaning to but it came out that way. "You're not a hybrid."
"You're right," Seokjin nods, not taking his attitude to heart. "I'm not a hybrid but I've studied hybrid anthropology and I teach classes about it. I'm not saying I'm correct, but a lot of times, attraction can be mistaken for attachment issues."
Yoongi wants to argue about it. He wants to prove that what he feels isn't just attachment or imprinted emotions. But he hesitates. And his hand stops spinning playing with his fork when he actually considers Seokjin's words.
Because how would he know? How would Yoongi know that what he feels is genuine emotions if he's never felt this way before? Seokjin's words put doubt into his head. Made him overthink about how he actually feels towards Hoseok.
"I'm going to sleep." Yoongi dismisses himself, leaving his barely eaten plate of food and heading towards his room. He doesn't want to have this conversation. He knows what he feels and he doesn't need someone telling him it's because of his trauma.
So he curls up in his bed, pulling Hoseok's hoodie up to his nose and inhaling deeply to calm his nerves. He likes Hoseok. He's sure of it now. And he can't wait for Hoseok to come back so that he could tell him, face to face.
Maybe he'd feel the same?
....................
Happy New Years! It's been 3 years since I started this book! Thank you all for the support 💜 I'll definitely update more frequently in 2022!