Bakugo was seething. He'd been completely pathetic. Pathetic and useless.
As that bitch had gone on and on, talking about murdering Nakano's kidnapper to avenge her, Bakugo had been utterly ineffective. He couldn't focus because the mission was totally catching on fire, Nakano was crying, and he had sat there in silence, unable to come to terms with the fact that he was entirely unsure of what to do next.
Bakugo was furious. At those two fucking vigilantes, of course, but also at himself. How could he have let them get away? He was perfectly capable in every way, but he had still fucked up.
When they had reconvened with Deku and Todoroki, Nakano ceased talking, only staring at the ground. As they were escorted back to Endeavor Agency in a police van, none of them spoke. The soul-crushing sound of Nakano's stifled sobs pierced through Bakugo, and it hurt like a bitch.
He hadn't known how to make her feel better. Was there anything he could've done? He didn't know. But he wished he had done something.
Upon their return to the agency, Bakugo had explained to Endeavor everything that happened during the mission to spare Nakano the ordeal of doing so. Mercifully, Endeavor let them go back home early that day. Nakano didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day.
After the whole fiasco, Bakugo had expected that the investigation would be passed to a different team considering the vigilantes knew about the case. It was not, but leads in the case ground to a halt because the vigilantes made no more public appearances, and there were no more murders attributed to them. The head investigator decided that the case would be put off until further notice, so the four of them returned to regular agency activities, such as patrolling and stopping petty criminals.
Bakugo wasn't sure if he hated or was relieved that the case was being put off. He desperately wanted to catch those vigilantes and beat them the fuck up for upsetting Nakano, but it also seemed like Nakano wanted to do anything except think about those two.
This brought him to his present dilemma: trying to cheer up Nakano. She had been putting up a front for the past week, trying to appear happy to her friends so they wouldn't be concerned. But Bakugo had noticed those moments when she thought no one was looking. Those dull eyes, gazing into the middle distance, clearly lost in distressing thoughts.
Though he had been there when everything happened, Bakugo felt like he couldn't talk to her about it. Like, how the fuck are you supposed to go up to someone to ask how they feel about being told that they've had an irremovable tracker on them for over a year? Besides, it wasn't his aim to remind her of all that. She seemed to not only want but need a distraction.
They were walking back to the dorms after class that Monday, as usual. It was a hot day, considering it was the beginning of July, but Nakano still had a sweater on. For her arm, he guessed. She wasn't smiling, and it occurred to Bakugo how weird it felt for her to be the visibly unhappy one between the two of them.
He continually glanced at her, thinking of something to say to make her laugh. Something random that she would say to him.
Fuck. I can't think of one damn thing to say...
Nakano was just naturally goofy, and Bakugo was not. Well, Nakano would probably say otherwise, considering how much she laughed at him. He racked his brain for stupid things he'd done and random-ass facts about him. There had to be something he could talk about...
"You know," Bakugo said, earning Nakano's attention. "I still have that coin you gave me." It was a weird and embarrassing thing to admit, but Bakugo hoped it was the kind of dumb shit that would amuse her. He looked at her for some sort of reaction.
A look of confusion passed over her face, then recognition.
"Wait, I gave that to you like six months ago," Nakano said, amazed. He nodded. It was humiliating that he'd kept it for so long. He hadn't known what else to do with it, though. It was as if some otherworldly entity had possessed him and made him keep the coin. Actually, it kind of freaked him out that he had kept it because what the fuck?
A small grin snuck onto her lips, and Nakano hugged her arms shyly. It was kind of adorable, the way she was pleased by his stupid actions.
Wait.
Not this again.
Fucking fuck, why am I finding her cute?!
Bakugo internally combusted, once again reminded of this annoying recurring thought. He pushed it down for the moment, not wanting to have to go through yet another back and forth in his head about how the fuck he felt about her.
Only friends, he'd told himself over and over again. That's the way he felt about her, and even if he was wrong, there was no way things could be different. Sure, she liked him, but crushes didn't stop time. She'd still have to go back to California.
Plus, he was about ninety percent sure he didn't like her. Maybe the way his heart raced whenever she was near him was pushing the boundaries of friendship, but did he look like he gave a fuck? It didn't matter what these signs could logically mean, because he knew deep down that everything was strictly platonic.
Bakugo cleared his throat, now needing a distraction from his own thoughts.
"Finals are next week. You gonna study?" he asked. Nakano shrugged.
"Kinda have to if I wanna pass history," she replied. "Mina was talking about doing a group study session because she wants me to help her with math."
"Hm. Good luck with that," Bakugo said, opening the door to the dorm building for her.
"I'm guessing you're not going to join us?" she asked with a teasing smile. "'I don't hang out with extras' or whatever."
Bakugo turned slightly red.
"Hey, I haven't even said that in forever..." he grumbled. "But yeah, you were spot on."
Nakano laughed then, and they parted ways. Bakugo could barely hold back a grin. Looks like he hadn't done such a bad job.
-----
Kuri's eyes scanned over the page, quickly checking Mina's answers. She hummed in thought.
"Looks like you only missed number seven and fifteen," Kuri said, pointing at the paper. "Let's go through them together..."
Kuri, Mina, and some of her other classmates had gathered in the common room on Wednesday night for their third day of topic review. Kuri, fast at work as always, had finished doing her review the day before and was now helping everyone else.
That Monday, Mr. Aizawa had told them that they were going to do a two-week summer training camp (on-campus this time, due to the previous year's catastrophe), and anyone who failed the final would have to do make-up classes. Mina had told Kuri about the year before where she failed the practical and just barely passed the written exams, and this time she was determined to do well. They had made a plan to study and train in the days leading up to the test week in preparation, and things were going well so far.
As expected, Bakugo did not join in. That was fine with her, though. In the past week, she'd had four separate dreams about going on dates with Bakugo. All of which eventually transformed into nightmares where the vigilantes or her kidnapper would show up and various bad shit would occur. The events of that day were still weighing heavily upon her, despite Kuri's efforts to not think about it. It was strangely relieving for Bakugo to be out of sight since his presence only served to remind her of how she had failed during the mission (and also reminded her of the dreams). Although, he seemed to be clumsily trying to make her feel better about everything that happened with Nana and Hayami, which Kuri found very cute and sweet.
In spite of Bakugo's attempts, Kuri couldn't seem to make herself feel any better about what happened. Even when she had been initially kidnapped, there had been no opportunity to process that trauma through therapy or something, because she was to go to UA in only a few months, and she was already swamped with studying and packing all her belongings. Instead, she had resolved to block it out of her memory, boxing away those thoughts into a corner that she would refuse to touch. Of course, having a physical reminder of the event did not help keep these memories at bay, so she countered this by allowing herself to remember her anger. The fury and rage that had compelled her to beat that man near to death. She didn't want to have to go to such lengths again. This method had worked for a while. She'd been able to ignore everything and live a happy little life at UA. Up until the mission.
Currently, she was throwing herself into school again, in the hopes that it would take her mind off of things. Escapism sure was a great coping mechanism. Totally not healthy, Kuri knew that, but she hadn't known what else to do.
Kuri flurried around the table, looking for any and every opportunity to help someone out, mostly to prevent boredom. They were collectively studying for English, Kuri's specialty (duh). Kaminari had made the suggestion that they only speak in English while they studied to help them practice. It was easier said than done because none of them could fully comprehend what the others were saying. They ended up being silent for practically the whole time they reviewed, which improved their productivity but made things a bit boring.
Hagakure finally broke the silence when she asked Kuri for help with translating a sentence. After a surprisingly short amount of time, Kuri was able to help her with the problem.
"You explain things so well! You should be a teacher," Hagakure joked. Kuri chuckled, but that comment got her thinking.
What if she did become a teacher?
In all her years of internally complaining about having to be a hero, she never considered teaching as an alternate career. Now that Kuri thought about it, she always enjoyed helping people with schoolwork. Plus, she had other qualities of good teachers, like her patience. But what would her parents think...
Kuri didn't have any time to dwell further on that thought though, because then Ochako asked her for some help. But she didn't let herself forget about it.
Two days of studying and training later, Kuri found herself in the dorm bathroom, sitting in a chair awaiting a haircut. She scrolled through her phone, trying to quell some of her nervousness by looking at old photos.
Kuri had been telling Mina for a while about how she wanted an undercut, and that evening Mina decided to just give her one already. It was a lot easier to talk about major hair decisions than to actually go through with them, but Kuri kept reminding herself that it would grow back. Eventually...
"Are you sure you don't want to chop it all off?" Mina teased, waving the hair clipper in her hand. "Then we'd match."
"Eh... Maybe some other day," Kuri laughed, peering at her in the mirror. "I don't wanna commit to that right now."
"Why not?" Mina asked as she began to get to work.
"For one thing I don't think I'll look good," Kuri said, earning a disbelieving look from Mina. "But, also, I feel like there's just too much going on in my life right now."
"I think that's a perfect excuse to chop it all off, then. You don't have to put as much effort into maintaining short hair," Mina joked. "But seriously, are you okay? You haven't been looking too good recently."
Kuri let out a deep sigh as the first few locks of hair at the base of her scalp were shaved off.
"I don't know."
They were both silent for a moment, and Kuri considered all of the emotions swirling within her. It was all too concentrated and muddled for Kuri to even attempt to describe.
"Kuri," Mina said. "I know you said that you don't want to talk about this anymore, but if you need to vent, go ahead. You've got all the time in the world. Or at least as long as it takes for me to cut your hair."
With a great sigh and a small chuckle, Kuri resolved herself to try and relay all of her thoughts. Then, at least one other person could have some sort of understanding of what she was going through.
"Well, the mission, the one I told you a bit about, I can't stop thinking about it. A lot of stuff going on there. And my tattoo is supposed to disappear in a few weeks, but I don't know if it actually will. Did I tell you that it's actually a tracker? Right, I did. And Bakugo..."
"Something happen with him too?" Mina asked, furrowing her brow in concern. Kuri shrugged.
"I mean, we went on the mission together, but no. I just, I don't know."
"Do you not like him anymore?" Kuri chewed on her lip.
"I think I like him too much," Kuri answered after a pause. She loved him. It was excruciating. Her love filled her, overflowed. It had nowhere to go. Most of the time she didn't understand why she was in love with him; she just was. "He spends so much time with me, and I feel like all we ever do is get closer, but only as friends." Kuri's lip quivered a bit. "He's only ever going to see me as a friend." That was the cold, hard truth. They were friends, nothing more. "I think it's for the better, though," Kuri said, steeling herself. "I wouldn't want to date him and then have to leave almost immediately."
"Aw, Kuri," Mina said, stopping for a second to give her a quick hug, and Kuri patted Mina's arm. "You know how much I'm rooting for you two, but don't forget that romance isn't everything in life."
"You're right," Kuri sighed. "I don't have any idea of what I'm going to do with my life, though."
"Aren't you going to become a hero?" Mina asked. "That's what we're here for, after all."
Oh. Kuri had never told her. It's not like Mina needed to know. Nobody did. She had only let it slip to Bakugo, but it wasn't like he was going to tattle. She wasn't too sure what Mina would think of her. She was her best friend, so she didn't expect anything bad, but wasn't it weird that she'd kept this secret from her?
"Actually..." Kuri said, averting her gaze. "I don't want to be a hero."
Mina continued cutting her hair, which made Kuri even more concerned. She had expected Mina to respond with a confused "what?!" or something, but she was just quiet.
"Hm. I kinda thought so," Mina said. Kuri asked why. "You aren't that passionate about heroism, and you've only ever described your mom to me as overbearing. I just assumed that it was because of her that you were in hero school. Sorry, it feels rude of me to say all this," she laughed.
"It's fine, you're totally right," Kuri chuckled. "It's not only my parents though. I wasn't as averse to hero work before my kidnapping. The fear factor kinda makes it hard to look at things the same."
"What would you want to do besides hero work?" Mina asked.
"Hell if I know," Kuri shrugged, thinking in the back of her head about what Hagakure had said. "It's not like I have a choice anyway."
"But you do. It's your life."
"Tell that to my parents," Kuri said, rolling her eyes. "And I've worked insanely hard to get here, so I might as well accept it. But enough about me, how have you been doing?"
One conversation-filled hour later, Mina's handiwork was complete. Kuri couldn't help but keep rubbing the back of her head, brushing against the short hairs. The feeling was foreign but pleasant. Also, the rest of her hair was now shoulder-length since Mina had convinced Kuri to let her chop off quite a bit. She was exceedingly happy with the look.
After cleaning up all the hair on the ground, Kuri took a shower and headed upstairs to her dorm. Her hair damp and her eyelids heavy, Kuri was ready for bed. She leaned against the elevator wall, thinking.
Her conversation with Mina had been unexpectedly therapeutic, as she'd been able to rant about what it meant to be a hero, and her kidnapping, and—
"Bakugo." As the elevator doors opened, Kuri's eyes landed on him, and his name just slipped out of her mouth. She was surprised to see him up at this hour. He seemed surprised to see her too, made clear by the look on his face. She gave him a teasing smile as she stepped out. "A bit late for you to be up, isn't it?"
"I was gonna get water," Bakugo said, looking intently at her. "You cut your hair."
"Mina did it for me. I got an undercut too." She lifted up her hair and turned to show him. When she turned back around, Kuri noticed that he was staring at her. "Does it look bad or something?" she asked with a small laugh.
"It looks fine, dumbass," Bakugo said, his expression contorting in embarrassment upon realizing that he'd been staring. Hehe, cute. He sidestepped her to call for the elevator again since the doors had closed already. "Night, Bunny."
"Good night, Kats—" Kuri caught herself. "Hah, I mean Bakugo."
She shuffled away, feeling less tired now that her heart was beating out of her chest. Why had he been looking at her like that?
He can't possibly... There's no way. Is there?
No. Her fatigue was getting to her. She really needed some rest. Didn't want to be sleep-deprived before finals, after all.
As Kuri settled down in her bed, enveloping herself in her covers and clutching a stuffed cat, she closed her eyes and prayed for a dreamless sleep.
-----
Bakugo jammed the elevator button repeatedly as soon as Nakano walked away. She had caught him completely off guard. Why did she have to look so fucking cute?
The curl of her bangs, the way her lips quirked up whenever she thought he said something funny, her little hops when she was excited, all of it—all of her—was adorable.
He hated it. He didn't like that he felt this way about her. It felt so wrong. They were friends. And before that, he had hated her. What the fuck was going on now?
He didn't get it. He'd never felt this way about anyone else before. It fucking sucked. He thought he'd get to go through life without having to suffer through something so pathetic as being attracted to someone.
Yeah, fine, he accepted it; he found her attractive and there was no way around it. It was just aesthetic attraction though. Fuck that romance shit. There was no way he had a crush on her.
The elevator arrived on the first floor, and Bakugo started towards the kitchen to get a drink.
Crushes were incredibly far out of Bakugo's frame of reference. Yeah, he got that it meant that you like someone, and he could infer what it meant based on how Nakano acted around him, but he didn't know what it felt like to have one.
However, his lack of knowledge could mean that what he was feeling right now was...
He gulped down the entire cup of water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
No fucking way.
-----
Distantly, Kuri heard a noise. She pulled herself out of her slumber and squinted her eyes at the sunlight streaming in through a gap in her curtains. It was morning. She reached out to grab her phone from her bedside table, quickly realizing that it was the source of the noise.
Her dad was calling. Before Kuri could even think about what he could be calling for, she pressed the button to pick up the call. She held the phone to her ear, sitting up as she waited for the phone to connect.
"Hello?" she heard her father's voice on the other end of the line.
"Hi, Dada. What are you calling for?" Kuri asked, her voice a bit scratchy. She swallowed in an attempt to alleviate the dryness in her throat.
"Oh, sorry, Bun-Bun, did I wake you up?" he asked worriedly.
"No, I've been up for a few minutes. I was just playing on my phone when you called," she lied. She noticed her stuffed cat on the floor, then picked it up and placed it back on the bed.
"That's good, then," he said. "So, how have you been doing? You haven't been giving us updates recently, and your mother suggested that we call to ask."
Kuri racked her brain for things to say, besides the thing she had yet to talk to them about. She glanced down at her uncovered tattoo.
"Well, I just got a haircut last night," Kuri said. "My friend did it for me."
"That's nice. Send us a picture later!"
"Okay, I will. How are the kitties and Mayu doing?" she asked. Her father said that the cats were up to their usual shenanigans, but that Mayu had started his own gaming channel for some reason? It had come out of nowhere, but made perfect sense considering his quirk. Kuri made a mental note to ask him about it later.
"I'm going to pass you off to your mother now," he said, and there was a short period of silence before she heard her mom's voice.
"Hello, Kuri. How's school going? Finals are next week, correct?"
"Yup," she replied. "My friends and I were studying and training all week for them."
"Do you have any plans for summer break?" her mom asked.
"Hm, probably catch up on shows," Kuri said. "Oh, and our class is having a summer training camp for the first two weeks of summer break. We're going to do quirk practice I think."
"That sounds wonderful," her mom replied. More like torturous, considering what her friends had said about the previous year's training. But her mom had always stressed the importance of cultivating one's quirk, so perhaps it would pay off. There was a beat of silence before her mother spoke again. "Say, Kuri, how do you feel about coming back home for summer break?"
"Like for a vacation?" she asked. Kuri hadn't even considered going back to California before she graduated. Her mind began flooding with realizations. She could see the cats, sleep in her old bed, and see all of her friends. Relive the days before she moved so far away from everything she knew and loved. Not that she didn't love Japan. It was just that... she missed California.
"Mhm. For three weeks. Right after your summer training camp should work."
"Okay," Kuri said hurriedly. Her breath was hitched in her throat because she was so excited. She'd have to tell her friends after the call so they could schedule a hangout. Her mom said that she'd set up a plane ticket for her later.
"Now that we've got that squared away, I wanted to ask, how has that work study been going?"
Kuri's stomach swirled. Nauseated or hungry, she couldn't tell the difference. She swallowed, holding her free hand to her mouth in the hopes of subduing the uncomfortable feeling. Her hand holding the phone was slick with sweat, and she gripped it tighter so it wouldn't slip from her grasp.
She had been debating whether to mention it to them or not. They didn't need to know what had happened, not in Kuri's opinion at least. But there was the looming question. Did she need to ask it? It wouldn't bring her any degree of closure. But she couldn't help but wonder...
"Why didn't you tell me that he'd been murdered?"
A pause. Kuri wanted to get out of her bed, but she feared that any movement would make her already unsettled stomach feel even worse.
"Kuri, what are you talking about?" her mother asked slowly.
"My kidnapper," Kuri said, hardly able to breathe.
Another pause. A long, long pause. The quiet was unbearable. Kuri swore she was seconds away from throwing up. She threw her covers off and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She sat there, elbows propped up on her knees, holding her head up with one hand. She stared at the wood grain on the floor, awaiting her mother's answer.
"Who told you about that?" she asked, almost accusatory. Kuri groaned internally, then gave herself a few seconds to try and get her stomach to calm down through sheer force of will before speaking again.
And then she told her about everything: the investigation, the vigilantes, the mission, and all of what Nana had told Kuri. Her mother stayed silent the whole time, waiting to speak until Kuri was finished.
"Kuri, I'm sorry that you had to find out this way," her mother said regretfully. Kuri rubbed her eyes, which were now puffy from tears that had come out while she was talking. "We didn't want to tell you because we thought it would upset you."
Kuri was tired of putting up with all this stupid shit. Her trauma had been resurfaced by literal strangers who told her that her tattoo may never come off just a week prior, and now she was being woken up to confess it all to her parents. Not only that, but she couldn't get over the looming feeling that she had completely and utterly failed to avenge herself during that mission. She was pissed off.
"Yeah, well, I'm pretty upset now," Kuri said, her words sharp. "I've gotta go."
Kuri hung up quickly, throwing her phone down on her bed. She flopped back onto her mattress, letting out a frustrated groan.
Her anger subsided after only a few moments, and tears once again began to spill from her eyes. Kuri rolled onto her side, grabbing her stuffed cat and hugging it close to her chest. She buried her face in the soft material, biting back a sob.
It looked like it was going to be a great day.
(A/N)
anyways, this chapter is titled so because it is almost christmas. also, fun fact, my finals are next week wish me luck y'all >:)
- chris 🌟