"I am not a perfectionist.
I am not a saint.
I am a disaster covered in veils
I do mistakes,I fall,I love,I hate.
Yet whatever I do in life, I do it like a revolutionary, with no restraint."
....
The world seemed to have stopped as they stare at each other. Oblivion of the crowd cheering, music blasting and water droplets showering.
When suddenly Vivian chuckles, showing him her hand. Covering her giggles with her other hand.
"What's so funny ?"
Ethan asks confused to only have her dismiss him.
"It's nothing... it's just about what you said..."
He pulls her closer to him, making her chuckles to seize.
Her excited eyes meeting his calm brown ones.
"I mean it Vivian. I am serious."
Placing her hands on his chest, she nods. Looking up.
"So you mean to say that you hate me...but you also love me?"
He gets serious while she again chuckles.
"Oh Ethan. Why are you always so confused about yourself? You don't even know who you like!"
"I know Vivian."
She moves up her finger placing it on his lips.
"Shhh...just shh... you don't know. I will tell you today. I have finally understood it....I am not a fool okay!"
She says smiling, like she has won a trophy.
"Hmmm...how do I show you.....yes idea!!"
And next he knows, she start pulling him along. Out of the party.
They reach the beach house and instead of going in ,she drags him to the beach.
Making him sit down.
"Vivian what are you ..?"
"Shhh not a word. Just sit here."
He looks up at her, to see her finding something. To only come back holding a small wooden stick in her hands in victory.
Her frame swaying a bit, but she manages... giggling with herself.
"Vivian you are drunk..you need-"
"No ! I am fine! Just sit down!"
She warns him, pointing the stick towards him and he sighs sitting back.
And that's when she starts what she intends to show him.
Moving the stick in the beach sand, she points at the figure in the sand and then at him.
"This....this is you"
Moving two steps back, she draws another figure behind the first figure....a little closer to the beach waves... almost in the wet sand.
"This ....this is me..."
And finally stepping in further of the centre figure, she draws another figure at the lead.
"And this....is Soph."
Ethan clenches his fist, not able to understand it.
There were three figures in front of him in a line
One at the extreme left was Vivian...in centre was him and on his right was Soph
"What does this even mean Vivian? What are you doing?"
"Shh let me explain! Just wait."
"You Ethan always looked in front...busy chasing your dreams...when..you started developing feelings for Soph..which were beyond friendship....and she became your new dream."
"She became your destination...."
"You were desperate for her...you wanted her ...you couldn't live without her."
"You loved her."
A tear slides down her eyes as she tries explaining. Moving the stick...she next points it at her figure.
"Ahh I even look ugly in the animation."
"Anyways yes so next ...here I was behind you."
"Looking at you all the time...chasing you....very similar to your dream of Sophie."
"Where instead I was chasing you.... hoping to achieve my dream one day... hoping to be loved in return."
Ethan gets up, trying to engulf her. When she stops him.
"Please Vivian...I know I was confused back -"
"You are still confused Ethan. You are still confused."
She points the figure.
"You are only with me because you forgot your dream Ethan... because your dream because unachievable....I am just a replacement...just a rebound."
"The second you find a new dream...you will leave me to follow it..."
"But sorry Ethan...I wouldn't be able to follow my dream anymore...I wouldn't be able to follow you...."
"And by the time you look back?"
She gets up , hearing the water approaching. And steps closer to him. Holding his face in her palms
"I will be gone Ethan...my dream will be lost..... just like that..."
She says looking back at the 3 figures she drew in the sand to only find two there .
The one in the end...the Vivian she drew in the sand...got cleared like a slate by the waves.
Ethan stills, looking at the sand. His mind going numb.
"By the time you look behind you Ethan....I will be gone."
A tear drops down her eyes and he looks down at her. Holding her face in his palms, looking at her in a light he never saw before.
"I am a fuc* ed up man Vivian."
"I never deserved you."
"But now when I am given a chance ....I swear on making myself deserving for you."
She moves her head in a no, stepping back. When he holds her hand. Stopping her.
"You don't Ethan....you don't...you will leave me again."
And that's when he pulls her along, while approaching the figures in the sand.
Opening his hands to see a big wave approaching as it hits his feet.... washing away all the drawings in the sand.
"Sh**! My drawings!"
She exclaims, trying to find the lost figures and drawing them again .
When he crouching down at her level, taking the wooden stick from her hands and smiling.
"Leave it Vivian....there is no need for it. "
"But Ethan you and-"
He touches the tip of the wooden stick on the sand as he starts circling around her....to only stop where he began..right in front of her. Throwing away the stick.
"This is my new dream now"
Surprised ,she looks down to see a circle drawn around her. As he moves closer, placing his forehead again her.
"You are my new dream Vivian."
"Your forgiveness my only salvation."
A sob leaves her lips unable to believe this and he smiles. Seeing her smiling and crying together.
"I missed you."
She says, bringing down her veil for the first time and engulfing him in a hug...he know it was impossible for her to say this when she was in her senses... but he didn't cared.
He wanted to enjoy this bliss...he wanted the Vivian he left back ...even if it was for few hours.
He wanted her....to be his.
She kisses him,initiating it and he couldn't stop, laying her back on the sand and kissing her back deeply.
Her hands running in his locks, as a moan escaped her lips.
"I missed you too."
She became desperate, her kisses feverish as she was too lost in her senses to stop him right now.
The alcohol taking the toll and clouding her rationality.
His hand slides inside her shirt and she moans again, arching her back.
"Ethan....."
She says his name and he smiles, loving how his name slips passed her lips.
"Yes my little Phoenix.."
She answers in between the kiss.
"I....I don't want you to stop...."
And that's when he chuckled lowly, stopping the kiss and staring down at her.
" You will hate me for it tomorrow."
He says , staring at her beautiful green eyes, that looked at him in desperation.
"Hmmm"
She barely says, interlocking her fingers behind his neck and pulling him closer to her.
He almost stumbles , falling on her. To look at her with widened eyes.
"Aren't you too audacious today?"
"Only for you."
She says smiling, placing her lips on him again and fumbling with the button on his shirt.
He almost got lost in her, to only regain his controls.
Placing his hand on her wrist, he stops her from opening his shirt.
"Stop Vivian. You don't know what you are doing."
She doesn't stop, trying to kiss him again, giggling. When he holds her wrists and pins them above her head.
Looking down at her with narrowed eyes.
"Fuc* Vivian stop it!"
She again giggles and his eyes soften. She looked too broken right now...the alcohol messing with her completely.
He has never seen her like this before.
"Stop please."
He pleads. Rubbing his nose on hers, to make her go still. Her next words, piercing right through his heart.
"Why Ethan? You don't want my body anymore."
He stills leaving her hands. Moving back from her. His palms on the either side side of her head, as he balancing his weight and hovers over her.
"No Vivian... it's-'
She chuckles again and next he knows, she pulls away her shirt desperately, leaving her only in her innerwear.
His eyes widen but he doesn't stop, too shocked to say anything.
"I am no longer beautiful. I have these scars that remind you of her....is this why don't want me now Ethan?"
He states down at her body and the scars make him clench his fists....he hated himself...each healed line making him hate himself more.
"I am ugly. Aren't I Ethan?"
A sob breaks through her lips as she stared at him. Tears trailing down her cheeks.
"The beautiful Vivian you fell in love with is not there Ethan....she died."
"This scarred girl is the only thing left behind."
He doesn't answer, too numb to say or do anything. This vulnerable side of Vivian a rare sight, yet her true self without any fascades.
He just stares, blankly at her.
"Leave me Ethan. Go find yourself someone else. You can never see me as anyone more than your best friends murderer."
"I am no longer the girl you desire....I was never the girl you loved....I am just an ugly past.... please don't stop me."
Pushing him back, she tried to leave under him. But he blocks her, not letting her go.
She tries again to only have him move closer to her. His jaw clenching.
"When I said I loved you....I meant it Vivian."
"And when Ethan Lockwood loves a women...no one...I repeat no one can talk ill of her."
"Not even herself!"
He nearly screams the last line, making her eyes to widen.
Gulping, she looks at the monster that blocked her .
"I...I...am ugly...you don't love me Ethan"
"Stop! Stop cursing yourself Vivian or I swear you will regret it."
She stills. Staring at him. To see wetness sting in his eyes. His breath heavy as he looks down at her.
"You don't love me"
"I do Vivian. I do. And I can do anything to prove it."
They stare at each other, and next they know. Vivian lifts herself on her elbows and move closer to him.
Staring at his lips and then at his eyes.
He doesn't move back, feeling her breath hit his neck and he closes his eyes.
As she whispers slowly near his ear, making him freeze.
"Then fuc* me Ethan."
"Show me how much you have dared to love this scarred beauty."