Ziiiip.
"Can't you just come to mine? You could just sit in my suitcase, no one will know!" Louis exasperates falsely, his hands in his hoodie pocket.
I roll my eyes, turning around on my heel to look at him. He stares up at me through his charcoal eyelashes, they brush against his slight pink cheeks whenever he blinks and the autumn sun glinting through the window, shines his face in a gold tone, his lips looking redder like roses.
"Lou..." I say, raising an eyebrow. "One, I won't be able to fit in that case and two, I want to see my mum. I need to be with her, to see if she's okay. I'm not okay, how do you think she feels being all alone?" A sharp spark of anxiety shoots through me like a strike of lightning and I almost lose my balance. I lean my knees against the bed whilst I grab the bag I've just packed with a few items of clothing for the next week.
He sighs, plodding into the room and thumping his forehead against my shoulder from where I'm bent down ever so slightly. "I could fit in your bag, I can fit in that, I can come to yours!"
I shake my head, bringing my arm round to wrap around him. "You're such a needy roommate. I wouldn't put it past you that you could fit in this bag, Lou. But you're not coming with me and that's final, you have to see your family too."
"Sorry, mother." He rolls his eyes, wrapping his arm around my waist. He kisses my shoulder, frowning like a freaking sad puppy.
I ruffle his fluffy hair, making it stick up like it does in the morning. You know, small, silly hedgehog and all. "You're so pushy. It's only a week, a few weeks ago, you never even knew me."
He nods, hair rustling against the knit of my red jumper. "I know but I'm still gonna miss you. And Marie. Argh, this is why I hate making new friends, I always miss them when they have to leave me behind."
My brows crease, pout on my lips. "Lou, I ain't leaving you. I'm just going back for the holiday. I'll be back in a week and you're leaving too so it's not that bad. You have Z, Ni and Li there with you so you won't be lonely."
He makes a noise in his throat. "You have a point. Who you meeting when you get home? Any mates?"
I shrug. "Dunno, might meet Jake but he might be busy."
My phone buzzes and I pluck it up from the bedside table, it sticks a little with the silicone case because I spilt a Coke on the table last night and didn't have the motivation to mop it up much.
I kiss his temple, slinging the bag over my shoulder. "Mum's outside, I got to go now."
And instead of just slipping from my grasp and going to grab his own bag to leave. Louis fucking decides to jump up to sit on my hip, wrapping his legs around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.
"Not yet, Hazzabear! You haven't had breakfast yet and you'll get hungry and then you might pass out before you get home because of having no sugar in you and then I'll be sad if I founded that out." I hold him by the waist, bringing my other hand up to his mouth, shoving my index finger to his warm lips.
"Louis. Stop rambling, I'm going, you're going, you can't miss me that much. God, I thought you weren't a needy person with all the people you've fucked and just tossed away." And okay, that wasn't the nicest thing to say.
He slides down my leg, setting on the floor and brings his top lip between his lips. "Okay," He whispers. "Sorry." He clears his throat. "I'm gonna go grab my bag." He shoves two thumbs behind him and walks backward for a moment before turning around and walking out the room.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Lou. Lou, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry!" I call, walking out my room, closing the door behind me and going over to lean against his door frame.
He waves me off, grabbing his suitcase which, I'm not sure why he's taking his whole bloody winter wardrobe for a week away from uni but here we are. "It's fine." He brushes past me, holding the suitcase up before setting the wheels to the floor and they click against the hardwood.
My lips pull down and I walk into the kitchen, grabbing two of his coco pop cereal bars, slipping one into his pocket without a word and playing with the wrapper from mine, crinkling under the pads of my fingers.
We walk out the room, Zayn and Anne-Marie left yesterday so it's just been me and Louis in the flat last night.
Not much happened, though. We sat and watched a movie together, he read me one of his creative writing pieces, doing voices for each characters which made me giggle. He's such a dramatic git and it made it ten times better. He's a really good writer and I hope he does do it professionally.
We take the lift together instead of the stairs and we're silent, me rubbing my arm and him with his hands stuffed into his pockets, legs slightly apart. The lift dings open and we clamber out, pushing the door to outside open and the cold slaps my face.
Initiate the teeth chattering. Jesus, why the hell does my body respond to the cold so quickly and so much?
I see the car beside Louis', the smoke from the exhaust billowing out more due to the chill, lights on which illuminates the concrete path now that the sun has been covered by a thick grey cloud.
Louis' car blinks to life and he shoves the suitcase into his boot with a thud. He turns around, lips thin.
I could literally cut the tension with a knife right now.
He points with a thumb to his boot. "You wanna, maybe, jump in the boot and be a stowaway?" A small smile comes to his face and I let out a breath, all tension lifting.
I walk closer to him, closing the gap between us and I shake my head, a curl letting loose and falling against my cheek. He brushes it back and tucks it behind my ear with chilly fingers.
"I'll see you in a week," I reply, bringing his lips to mine for a quick kiss. I hope to fucking God mum isn't watching, how awkward would that be?
He returns the kiss, his lips like a pillow and I just want to crawl onto them and sleep there. He breaks apart, kissing my nose and bringing his cold hand into my own, squeezing it lightly. "Text me, yeah? I'll be bored with the other three. Liam and Zayn will be eating each other out and Niall will just probably, be eating. I'll be a fourth wheel."
I chuckle through my nose at that, biting my bottom lip. "I'll text you," I assure with a quick half nod.
He pats my bum, stepping away from me and motions with his head toward mum. "Go on, don't wanna keep your mum waiting, she might take me head off."
I laugh outright at that. "Don't be so stupid, she loves you really."
He hums. "Sure she does, everyone does." He goes over to the driver's door of his car, opening it and leaning his forearm against it. "Goodbye, Hazzabear! See ya in a week."
"Say hi to the others for me," I reply, giving a short wave and going over toward mum's car, opening the door to the passenger side. "Bye!" I sing, clambering into the car and slamming the door behind me, automatically grabbing the seat belt and clicking it into place.
"Bye, Harry!" Louis shouts loudly so I'm able to hear through the hum of the heater and the low blast of the music.
I wave at him from over mum and smile, watching him disappear into his car. I turn my attention to mum and my heart sinks.
She looks... I don't know how to say it without sounding rude. She looks a little down, shall we say. (Rough did come to mind but that's a bit mean)
The glint in her blue eyes that was caused by laughter and light, has completely vanished. There's purple hued bags below her eyes and her lips are cracked as if she hasn't cared to put lip balm on them.
"Hi, mum," I mumble, looking down to the coco pop cereal bar, leg jiggling on its own. "You okay?"
She nods. "Yes, sweetheart, how's you?" She asks, giving me a weak smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Fuck.
I shrug. "I'm good."
"Nice to see Louis and you being happy and getting along."
I can't help but bite back the smile, giving a nod. "Yeah. We went on a last night. Went bowling. I won, he got very defensive over it and said I cheated but I don't know how you're supposed to cheat when bowling."
Mum gives a light laugh. "He's something else." She backs out the parking spot and goes down the path and out of the campus. "So you two are official?"
I shake my head. "No. I don't know if we ever will, there's still some tension that happens between us."
She raises a shoulder. "Happened to me and dad sometimes, doesn't mean the love isn't there." She evidently swallows at the mention of dad.
I bring her hand into mine and give it a reassuring squeeze. "You should get a cat."
Her brows crease. "You what?"
"You love cats! You should get a cat!"
She shakes her head. "H, we already have Dusty!" She keeps her attention on the road, moving onto the motorway.
I shrug. "So? Dusty is technically mine, she was a Christmas present for me. You should have your own cat. A kitten."
She sighs. "I am not replacing dad, with a cat."
I roll my eyes, peeling the wrapper off the cereal bar and taking a bite, tummy growling in the need of food. "It won't be to replace dad, mum. It's to help you not be so alone when Gem and I aren't there." There's a lump in my throat, talk about dad is still a very sensitive topic and it always makes me instantly wanting to cry.
I chew slowly on the cereal bar, bottom lip threatening to wobble. I only wanted to give her a suggestion that could potentially help her feel better and not so alone. It shows that she's struggling a lot and when both Gem and I leave next week, I know she'll feel even more alone.
Mum sighs through her nose, patting my knee. "I know you're only trying, love, I'm sorry for being such a sourpuss."
I shake my head, looking out the window. "It's fine," I mumble, taking another nibble of my cereal bar.
My phone buzzes against my thigh after a while and I fish it out, seeing a notification from Louis. I open it.
Lou <3: Oi, oi! How's it going on the road?
Me: Um... shouldn't you be concentrating on the road?!
Lou <3: MY GOD HAZZA! Something called me living closer to the uni than you??? I'm already home and I'm already officially bored.
Me: Don't you have like, 10,000 siblings or something to keep you occupied?
Lou <3: 4 ACTUALLY but they're all out with dad. Mum's at work *sigh*
Me: Oh you poor thing!
Lou <3: You know what, I just needed some company and you're being a sassy prick. Sassy prick is MY thing, don't steal that from me you hoe!
I snort, what is this guy?
Me: You really didn't just call me 1. a sassy prick and 2. a hoe.
Lou <3: Course I did.
Lou <3: Wanna facetime tonight? :)
Me: Maybe if I'm free
Lou <3: Harry Styles and his busy, busy life of tickling a cat's tummy and sipping on tea, how tiring!
Me: Now who's being the sassy prick?
Lou <3: I told you I was a sassy prick before hand. Anyway, I'll talk to you tonight, I think I just heard the girls and dad come back.
Me: See you later, Lou xx
Lou <3: Bye Hazza xxx
I shove my phone in my pocket again, biting back the smile.
"What you all blushy and smiley about?" Mum asks, looking at me from the side of her eye.
I scratch an itch on my palm. "Lou. He called me a sassy prick."
"What a nice boy," She sighs sarcastically.
"He's only joking. He said he was the sassy prick and I was stealing that title from him."
She shakes her head with a genuine smile. "Young love," She sighs and what?
I look over to her. "I'm not in love, mum."
She pats my knee once more. "You'll see it soon."
And, am I really in love with Lou?
...
Gemma, mum and I sit on the sofa, Gem cuddled up under mum's arm whilst I have a pillow clutched to my chest, us watching Luca quietly, just enjoying each other's company.
It's almost seven in the evening and we still haven't eaten. But mum doesn't seem too bothered about that, just staring distantly into the screen like she's not actually absorbing the movie but instead some place else, far away from this world in her own.
My phone buzzes and I see a message from Louis blinking to me from the lock screen- which is the picture of me, him, Zayn and Anne-Marie in that stingy bathroom those nights ago, taking a selfie. I swipe it across, leaning my phone on the top of the pillow which is now eye level.
Lou <3: Heyyy babycakes! Look what I've got for din dins x *sent attachment*
I click on the photo and it's of his plate, a medium rare steak delicately laying on the white china, some crinkle cut chips piled beside it and a handful of peas. There's some sort of peppercorn sauce drizzled over the top of the steak which has a piece cut from it, revealing the pink inside, reminding me of the blossom on the trees in spring.
Lou <3: Mamma made it, one of the good things about going home, getting proper food, haha! What you got for din?
Me: Not a clue, mum hasn't gotten up to make anything. Might make something for us myself.
Lou <3: Aw :(... Want me to FaceTime you? Keep ya company whilst you cook, could give me company whilst I eat :D x
Me: Alright, why not :) x
My phone soon buzzes with his call and I unravel myself from the folded position, chucking the pillow to the side and getting up, a smile threatening to come to play and butterflies to fly around inside me. Swiping my thumb across the screen to answer the call, I walk out the small front room and into the kitchen.
It soon connects and the first thing I notice is the noise in the background. Screaming, laughing, whining the most prominent of sounds. Louis' eyes dazzle and he props his phone up somewhere on the table in order to see me and eat at the same time, his plate in full view too. He shoves a bite of steak in his mouth and he gives me a small wave, smiling around his chewing.
"You alright, love? What you thinking on making?" He asks loudly in order to be heard over the noise.
I settle the phone beside the bronze toaster, atop of the granite counter top. I shrug, sighing. "No clue. Dunno what we got to be honest."
He frowns at that, shifting in his seat and cutting into his steak with a red steak knife.
"No, Phoebe, that's my knife! Louis! Pheeb stole my steak knife!" A sweet little voice whines somewhere in the background.
Louis rolls his eyes, popping a finger up toward the screen. "One sec, Harold. Phoebe, give Dais her knife back, you shouldn't be playing with those knives anyway, they're far too dangerous and sharp. No-" He sighs, getting up and moving off the screen. "Mum! Dais, put it down. I'll count to three and if it's not out of your hand in those seconds, I'm going to get Sad Sock out."
And what the actual fuck is a 'Sad Sock'? I bite back a laugh, opening the top cupboard where mum stores the dry food, finding some pasta shells and bringing them down. They tsh together when I slam them down onto the counter. The pans clank and crash when they unbalance and topple to the floor and I swear under my breath, bending down to pick them up.
"Sorry about that Ha- where'd ya go?" Louis' voice sounds louder and I pop my head up over the counter. He smiles when he sees me, stabbing a chip with his fork.
I stand up with the pan, popping it onto the stove beside the toaster. "May I ask what on earth a Sad Sock is?"
Louis snorts, shaking his head. "It's a really stupid sock that I found. It's just a stripy sock without a pair and so when the girls were younger and were making each other sad, I'd bring out this sock on me 'and and I'd pretend it would talk, saying he doesn't like them fighting and it makes him sad. It used to do the trick but I don't think it works as much anymore, they're ten after all. Still, they act five."
I smile at that, dimples poking out. Only Lou would think of something like that. I walk over to the fridge, opening the one side, bringing my top lip between my teeth in thought. I find some bacon and chorizo, grabbing a jar of tomato sauce from one of the other cupboards as I go.
Louis' brow raises. "See you've found something, what you gonna make, Curly?"
I lay everything out in front of me, itching the side of my nose with my nail and sniffing. "Thinking of a pasta bake, something easy, you know?"
He nods. "Sounds good. You need to cook for us more back at the dorm."
I roll my eyes, shoving the pasta into the water once it's boiled. "How about you make something for us for a change?"
He laughs outright at that, choking slightly on a pea or something. "Yeah right, love. Can barely make coco pops without burning down the bleeding kitchen. I'll let you continue with the cooking and Zayn. Me and Marie will clean."
I snort at that, stirring the pasta to stop it from sticking to the bottom of the pan, the water bubbling. "Yeah, like you do the bloody cleaning anyway."
He sputters at that, shaking his head and pointing at me down the phone. "Now you listen 'ere, Curly, I do more cleaning than you do!"
I give him a look as if to say 'really.' "Have you seen your bedroom, Lou? In fact, can you show me your bedroom at your house, I bet it's really 'Clean'." I put emphasis on the word and use my fingers as quotation marks before the rustling of the packet of chorizo echoes around the space. I slice it, popping a piece in my mouth and chewing it slowly.
"I see you're enjoying that sausage there, Haz. Maybe there's another sausage you'd enjoy to take a taste at," He teases, making me genuinely choke on the chorizo in my mouth and I use my fist to punch against my chest to dislodge it.
"Jesus, Harry! Die quietly!" Gemma calls out from the front room.
I take a breath, looking down the camera, hands gripping the side of the counter. Louis' giggling through his chip, shaking his head. "You nearly killed me, Lou!"
He shrugs. "Sorry, love."
"Louis, who are you talking to?" A voice asks and a little face pops into the screen beside Louis. They share the same blue eyes and tan skin, her fawn hair pulled back into braids. She smiles, waving down the camera. "Hi!" She drags out the 'i' as she waves. "I'm Phoebe!"
I wave back with a small smile, feeling a little shy. I look over to see the water bubbling over and I run over to it, taking it off the heat.
"Harry?" Louis questions.
I come back into view. "Sorry, pasta burning, your fault, that."
He giggles, running his hand through the braid of Phoebe. "This is one of my many sisters. Daisy, come say hi to Harry! Lotts and Fizz are at youth club at the moment, dad's gone to pick them up. I don't know where mum's gone."
Another face identical to Phoebe comes into view, the only difference to me is that this one- I'm assuming is Daisy- has her hair up in a ponytail and a pink Alice band on her head too.
"I'm Daisy!" She informs with a short wave. She turns to Louis. "Can I have an ice cream?" She whispers.
Louis brings his full attention onto Daisy, pursing his lips. "If you eat one more chip and another mouthful of peas, then you can have an ice cream," He whispers back with a slow nod. "But you can't have the chocolate ice cream, that's my one."
Daisy giggles. "Louis, all the ice creams are chocolate, you wholly!" She disappears off the screen but Phoebe is still staring intently down the phone, face quite close might I add, that I can see the slightest dust of freckles on her nose.
"Harry's pretty, Louis," She decides. "Is he your boyfriend?" She turns her head around to look at Louis and I just take the time to pour all the ingredients into a dish, pouring the pasta sauce over the top and shoving it into the pre-heated oven.
Louis smiles weakly, shrugging. He leans over and whispers something into Phoebe's ear that I can't hear and she giggles, smiling brightly.
My brows crease, frown forming. "What'd you say to her?" I ask.
He knocks the side of his nose with his finger. "Us to know and you to find out."
I fold my arms over my chest, pouting. "Rude."
"Harry! Are you coming to our house for bonfire night?" Phoebe asks, tilting her head to the side. "We always have hot dogs and fireworks in the garden and we have sparklers and Louis always gives us sparkly gems to stick on our faces to look like the fireworks and we watch the fireworks!"
I smile, shrugging. "Probably not, sweetheart, I got uni to do."
Phoebe frowns, looking at Louis. "That means you're not gonna be home either. Why can't you take the day off?"
Louis chuckles, shaking his head. "It's like school, love, we can't take days off if we don't want to." He looks over at me with a wink.
The oven's timer beeps, making me jump and I look down at the orange glow coming from the oven. I reach down, hands now inside the oven gloves and I open the door, heat wafting out the small space and heating my jean covered calves. I bring the pasta bake out from the oven, steam wisping from it in small puffs and I set it on the counter before me.
"Oo, that's looking good, Hazzabear!" Louis praises with a thumbs up, grabbing his plate and his phone, padding his way into his cream walled kitchen.
I grab a large spoon and three bowls, spooning the bake into each bowl and poking a fork into each. "Looks great for a fifteen minute quick meal."
He hums, smiling and there's the sound of running water from beside him. "I have to wash up now." He rolls his eyes.
I smile. "I gotta eat now. Thanks for accompanying me in the cooking, you didn't have to, you had your sisters there, you weren't really alone."
He shrugs. "I missed your face, is that a crime?"
I nod. "Yes actually, it is. We've not been in the same house for less than twelve hours, that's border line obsessive."
He flips me off with a grin. "You obsessed with me first and all my actions, making me believe you were homophobic. Turns out Mr Styles was just a jealous jellybean."
I heat red. "I wanted to talk to you about the whole sexuality thing, actually," I admit, chewing my cheek and fiddling with the ring on my finger.
He raises a brow. "Yeah? Well, know you can ask me anything, I won't judge."
I smile, giving a quick nod. "I wanted to know if you knew what I was."
He tilts his head. "Harry, I can't decide that for you. That's for you to figure out. I'll be here for you throughout it all, I promise. Maybe do some research? See different definitions and shit and see if any suit you." He shrugs.
I nod. "Okay. Thanks, Lou. I should probably go, gotta feed the others."
He smiles, waving. "I gotta finish this God awful washing up business. You'd think chores would end for me now that I'm practically a guest in this household." He rolls his eyes dramatically. "Goodnight, Hazzabear, I'll text ya!"
I give him a tight lip smile, my dimples waving goodbye too. "Bye, Loubear!"
I hang up, bringing the two bowls in for mum and Gemma.
Mum's eyes light up slightly. "You didn't have to do that, thanks, Harry, my perfect little boy." She kisses my temple but doesn't make a move to start eating unlike Gem.
"Thanks, H, love ya, bro," She says through a mouthful.
I go back into the kitchen to grab my bowl and my phone, instantly sending a picture of it to Louis, though he's just seen it and then I sit back down where I was, deciding to take Louis' advice and begin searching the different sexualities to see if I fit into any bloody one. Hopefully it'll make my mind less fucking confused.
A/N- HI!
Sorry the updates have taken ages, I was planning something all weekend (Larryween) and yeah hehe that was pretty much it.
Sorry if this chapter is a bit shit! But hope you enjoyed anyway.
Vote and comment and I'll see you in the next update
Stay Safe XOOXOXOXOXO